Feeling discouraged... no longer praying

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Black_Rose

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Right now, I feel discouraged because I perceive that my prayers are not effective, and I see myself as impotent when I engage in prayer. I just feel it is not a waste of time since I am unable to detect any discernible effect from it. Right now, I have the “why bother” mentality.

Does anyone struggle with this? At least when I was an atheist/agnostic, I did not struggle with this issue.
 
Hi,

our feelings are dependent on so many things… we don’t usually recognize the spiritual reality around us. Some Saints could, like St Padre Pio. But we all get times when we don’t feel God’s presence, and we feel that our prayers are not effective. God definitely hears every prayer 🙂 try to rely on faith, not so much on feelings. Feelings will come and go. It says in Scripture, faith is the evidence of things unseen.

God bless
 
Do not give up:
5Then he said to them, "Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, 6because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.’
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7"Then the one inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything.’ 8I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man’s boldness[e] he will get up and give him as much as he needs.
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9"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
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(Luke 11:5-10)

Be persistent and God will answer. As a matter of fact, He has answered, though not in the way you thought of perceived. Keep it up praying, the big man upstairs won’t let you down 👍
 
I too was an atheist for 10 years (confirmed 2009). I had a long long struggle with prayer even after my conversion. As a former atheist, I know exactly what you are feeling. Prayer is a discipline (or so it seems) and it is hard to start especially when we feel that it is ineffective. What helps me are prayer books or cards to start my prayer life. I have a wall with prayer cards tacked on there. 🙂 I have a few prayer books and a few more books with prayers in the middle or at the end. The saints are like big brothers in helping us with our first steps in prayer (for me anyway). Granted I still stink at prayer. I feel like God is laughing at me like a father laughing at the sight of his son trying to build a ladder to heaven with sticks but is enjoying trying even after many unnoticed failed attempts! Point is: praying is becoming more joyful to me and easier and such even though I may be laughed at (in love, of course).
I peronally love the rosary. Today, before every Our Father I ask Blessed Mary, all the angels and saints to pray it with me and I felt like I was helping the spiritual battle. It was awesome! Try something like that. Ask them or your guardian angel, your favorite saint(s) to pray with you. Maybe that will help.
I hope this helps; reading back over it tells me it probably will not. But it is worth a try. Keep trying. Maybe your prayers helped someone else that you do not know. Get out of the “why bother” mentality. Your mind is too loud. You could have saved a life. Who knows? Take care, my friend.
 
Try praying for an intention that affects the Church globally. Even though I don’t always necessarily see the fruits of my prayers, I rest assure that God has heard me and that He’ll get to my petition when the time comes. Try praying for an increase in vocations to the priesthood. I find that by praying for a global intention, you’re no longer focused on something happening locally and you’ll feel great that you’re helping the Church at large.

Maybe try learning prayers in different languages. I know my prayers (Our Father, Hail Mary, etc.) in English, Spanish, Tagalog, French, and Latin. I know the Angelus in English, Spanish, and Latin and this prayer has become one of my favorites. Try praying the Angelus so you can add structure to your prayer life since it’s said at 6am, 12pm, and 6pm. The Angelus is basically the Christian call to prayer. I wish it was more widespread and that churches still rang Angelus bells.

Latin is quite easy if you know Spanish and I always feel connected to something greater when I pray in Latin… It’s an intense spiritual experience knowing that you’re praying the way millions of people have been praying before you.
 
Black_Rose said:
Right now, I feel discouraged because I perceive that my prayers are not effective, and I see myself as impotent when I engage in prayer. I just feel it is not a waste of time since I am unable to detect any discernible effect from it. Right now, I have the “why bother” mentality.

Does anyone struggle with this? At least when I was an atheist/agnostic, I did not struggle with this issue.
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Prayers are not magical spells that get us what we want. They are requests. Try to keep this in mind when praying. Also:
Luke 18

**The Parable of the Persistent Widow **

1Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. 2He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. 3And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’ 4"For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care about men, 5yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually wear me out with her coming!’ "
6And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”
 
Black_Rose said:
Right now, I feel discouraged because I perceive that my prayers are not effective, and I see myself as impotent when I engage in prayer. I just feel it is not a waste of time since I am unable to detect any discernible effect from it. Right now, I have the “why bother” mentality.

Does anyone struggle with this? At least when I was an atheist/agnostic, I did not struggle with this issue.
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Never stop praying! God always answers our prayers. Sometimes, though, the answer isn’t “Yes.” Sometimes, it’s “Not now.” or “No.”

When we “feel like praying” that’s usually God giving us extra grace or inner consolation to do so. That’s His gift to us. When we really, really don’t “feel” like praying, but do so anyway, that’s our gift to God.
 
Black_Rose said:
Right now, I feel discouraged because I perceive that my prayers are not effective, and I see myself as impotent when I engage in prayer. I just feel it is not a waste of time since I am unable to detect any discernible effect from it. Right now, I have the “why bother” mentality.

Does anyone struggle with this? At least when I was an atheist/agnostic, I did not struggle with this issue.
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Sounds as though you may be going through the ‘desert’—a period of aridity. It is very difficult to go through and I suspect I’ve been through some of it myself now and then. Even the great saints experienced this.

I sometimes get burnt out on a lot of prayer. That’s not a GOOD thing—I think we each have a level that we can do and to push for more when you’re not ready might backfire. I do not suggest you stop praying but perhaps a simpler and less ambitious routine is something to consider.

Maybe reading about Mother Theresa would help?

Or just simply whispering the name of Jesus.
 
Scoobyshme said:
Never stop praying! God always answers our prayers. Sometimes, though, the answer isn’t “Yes.” Sometimes, it’s “Not now.” or “No.”

When we “feel like praying” that’s usually God giving us extra grace or inner consolation to do so. That’s His gift to us. When we really, really don’t “feel” like praying, but do so anyway, that’s our gift to God.
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Just to add, it could also sometimes be “Yes, but I’m doing it my way”:rolleyes:
 
Black Rose, you have been given so much good advice thus far. What the others are saying about coming into times of “spiritual aridity” is true. In fact, it would seem that 99.9% of people face difficulties such as yours during their spiritual journey. So take heart, being tried is a necessary part of following the Lord.

And our Savior knows when prayer comes easily to you just as well as He knows when it is difficult for you. In those difficult moments you have a great opportunity to gain merit and to show how much you love God. It is a golden opportunity to prove to yourself that it is the Lord you love and not His gifts (though, of course the gifts of the Lord are not to be scorned).

It may help if you take up a formal prayer such as the rosary, or one of the many wonderful chaplets that are out there (i.e. the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, etc.). I suggest this because in moments of spritual dryness it can be extremely difficult to engage in more spontaneous forms of prayer. The formal prayers of the faith are great aids that allow you to pray even when you are losing heart, and give you the assurance that you have at least spent some time in prayer each day even if you did not “feel” your prayers were particularly productive (though prayer is always productive).

Of course in any formal prayer there is a meditative element, they are not meant to be merely so many Our Fathers or Hail Marys without any further thought. I’m sure you already know this, but I wanted to make sure no one misinterpreted my promotion of formal prayers as indicating they are prayers that can be said without effort.

Lastly (as I know I’ve rambled on longer than I should have 😊) I think that Sailor Kenshin’s suggestion is an excellent one:
Sailor_Kenshin said:
Maybe reading about Mother Theresa would help?
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The Blessed Mother Teresa went through a period of spiritual dryness for decades! Yet she endured this cross for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven and out of a love for Jesus that went far beyond the emotion of love. I’m confident that your trial will be much shorter and less severe than hers since she was a great saint and had a strength far beyond most of us. But knowing her trials may help you during your own. I know reading about her life and sufferings certainly has inspired and strengthened me when I’ve faced my own moments of emptiness.

In fact, I would highly suggest that you ask the Blessed Mother Teresa for help. Good luck and God bless you!
 
Black_Rose said:
Right now, I feel discouraged because I perceive that my prayers are not effective, and I see myself as impotent when I engage in prayer. I just feel it is not a waste of time since I am unable to detect any discernible effect from it. Right now, I have the “why bother” mentality.

Does anyone struggle with this? At least when I was an atheist/agnostic, I did not struggle with this issue.
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Hi Black Rose,
It is very hard. Humans need to see God working in their lives. You can get very frustrated and angry if you don’t see your prayers working. You just have to keep holding on and praying, because God does hear you. I know it sounds cliche but it’s true. I can’t tell you any more.

Stay Strong
Jeanne
 
Praying is like breathing.

If you’re out of breath…you breathe more quickly and more deeper…with more focus and more deliberation,almost desparation.

Don’t look for feelings. Easy to do…but big mistake.

Pray even more and more intently…with more abandonment, and even more joy…and humor.

If you’re not having humorous conversations with God…you’re missing out. Try it. “Lord, what have you got planned here…this all looks like it it’s going south…but I know it’s going to be good”.

Don’t make the mistake of praying for yourself all the time…pray for others.
 
jtodisco said:
Black Rose, you have been given so much good advice thus far. What the others are saying about coming into times of “spiritual aridity” is true. In fact, it would seem that 99.9% of people face difficulties such as yours during their spiritual journey. So take heart, being tried is a necessary part of following the Lord.

And our Savior knows when prayer comes easily to you just as well as He knows when it is difficult for you. In those difficult moments you have a great opportunity to gain merit and to show how much you love God. It is a golden opportunity to prove to yourself that it is the Lord you love and not His gifts (though, of course the gifts of the Lord are not to be scorned).

It may help if you take up a formal prayer such as the rosary, or one of the many wonderful chaplets that are out there (i.e. the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, etc.). I suggest this because in moments of spritual dryness it can be extremely difficult to engage in more spontaneous forms of prayer. The formal prayers of the faith are great aids that allow you to pray even when you are losing heart, and give you the assurance that you have at least spent some time in prayer each day even if you did not “feel” your prayers were particularly productive (though prayer is always productive).

Of course in any formal prayer there is a meditative element, they are not meant to be merely so many Our Fathers or Hail Marys without any further thought. I’m sure you already know this, but I wanted to make sure no one misinterpreted my promotion of formal prayers as indicating they are prayers that can be said without effort.

Lastly (as I know I’ve rambled on longer than I should have 😊) I think that Sailor Kenshin’s suggestion is an excellent one:

The Blessed Mother Teresa went through a period of spiritual dryness for decades! Yet she endured this cross for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven and out of a love for Jesus that went far beyond the emotion of love. I’m confident that your trial will be much shorter and less severe than hers since she was a great saint and had a strength far beyond most of us. But knowing her trials may help you during your own. I know reading about her life and sufferings certainly has inspired and strengthened me when I’ve faced my own moments of emptiness.

In fact, I would highly suggest that you ask the Blessed Mother Teresa for help. Good luck and God bless you!
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I remember reading ABOUT the book on this forum, and thought, ‘Wow, if SHE could have such trials and aridity it makes me feel better!’ But I forget the title, and I would really like to read it. Is it Blessed Mother Theresa’s autobiography? A diary?

I would have mentioned the title if I knew it. Thanks.
 
Sailor_Kenshin said:
I remember reading ABOUT the book on this forum, and thought, ‘Wow, if SHE could have such trials and aridity it makes me feel better!’ But I forget the title, and I would really like to read it. Is it Blessed Mother Theresa’s autobiography? A diary?

I would have mentioned the title if I knew it. Thanks.
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Sailor Kenshin, there are many wonderful books out there about the Blessed Mother Teresa. There are also, unfortunately, a few not so wonderful books about her as well. The book that would likely be of most interest to you (and to Black Rose) is:

Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light edited by Brian Kolodiejchuk, M.C.
amazon.com/Mother-Teresa-Private-Writings-Calcutta/dp/B00394DH18/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1279810913&sr=1-3#_

This book is a collection of Blessed Mother Teresa’s private writings, which were previously unknown to the public, but which were released in order to give the world a more in depth picture of this saint as well as to inspire the faithful during their trials. There is helpful commentary and background information given by the editor as well. The dark night of the soul that Blessed Mother Teresa passed through was truly immense. The strength God gave to her is mind blowing.

This book is however mostly about the Blessed Mother Teresa’s trials. If you would like to learn more about her personal faith and spiritual reflections then you should look into another book.

One suggestion would be No Greater Love by Mother Teresa:

amazon.com/No-Greater-Love-Mother-Teresa/dp/1577312015/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1279810913&sr=1-1

Anyway, hope that helps. 🙂
 
jtodisco said:
Sailor Kenshin, there are many wonderful books out there about the Blessed Mother Teresa. There are also, unfortunately, a few not so wonderful books about her as well. The book that would likely be of most interest to you (and to Black Rose) is:

Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light edited by Brian Kolodiejchuk, M.C.
amazon.com/Mother-Teresa-Private-Writings-Calcutta/dp/B00394DH18/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1279810913&sr=1-3#_

This book is a collection of Blessed Mother Teresa’s private writings, which were previously unknown to the public, but which were released in order to give the world a more in depth picture of this saint as well as to inspire the faithful during their trials. There is helpful commentary and background information given by the editor as well. The dark night of the soul that Blessed Mother Teresa passed through was truly immense. The strength God gave to her is mind blowing.

This book is however mostly about the Blessed Mother Teresa’s trials. If you would like to learn more about her personal faith and spiritual reflections then you should look into another book.

One suggestion would be No Greater Love by Mother Teresa:

amazon.com/No-Greater-Love-Mother-Teresa/dp/1577312015/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1279810913&sr=1-1

Anyway, hope that helps. 🙂
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Come Be My Light—that’s the one! Thank you so much. Time to order it.

Even hearing that Blessed Mother Theresa HAD trials sort of lifted me up.
 
Sailor_Kenshin said:
Come Be My Light—that’s the one! Thank you so much. Time to order it.

Even hearing that Blessed Mother Theresa HAD trials sort of lifted me up.
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No problem. I am always glad to bring people into a closer spiritual friendship with the Blessed Mother Teresa. I feel I “owe her” since I am convinced she was instrumental in helping to bring me back to the faith after years of being away. 🙂
 
Edward_H said:
Praying is like breathing.

If you’re out of breath…you breathe more quickly and more deeper…with more focus and more deliberation,almost desparation.

Don’t look for feelings. Easy to do…but big mistake.

Pray even more and more intently…with more abandonment, and even more joy…and humor.

If you’re not having humorous conversations with God…you’re missing out. Try it. “Lord, what have you got planned here…this all looks like it it’s going south…but I know it’s going to be good”.

Don’t make the mistake of praying for yourself all the time…pray for others.
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I most certainly do not believe God has any plan for me, or anyone that I know for that matter. I do not see any difference between “God’s plan” or whatever economic, social, and physical forces being to any person’s life. I fail to see God’s interaction in the world, and it would seem that any purported divine intervention can be explained parsimoniously through mundane coincidences and other deterministic or stochastic phenomenon.

Before I posted this thread, I never believe that God acts in, for example, our financial or social interests, but many threads in the prayer thread have people petitioning for a job. If prayer, using gaming terminology, has a “positive expected value”, then I am unable to see it because the external variance is too high relative to “PEV”. I just feel prayer is just an act of futility now. (Some people attribute the “positive variance” of life (such as finding employment) to the effects of prayer because it would seem that it could be explained without prayer.)

I remember this lyric from when I was listening to the “Bleach” anime openings (which are quite good) and endings on YouTube about two weeks ago: “Some sadistic God is testing us.”

(I forgot what the song was named.)

When I think about prayer, those lyrics still resonate within me.
 
Black Rose, you must keep in mind that prayer isn’t just about asking for something and then getting what you asked for. God isn’t Santa Claus. If that was how prayer worked then everyone would be praying all of the time and no one would doubt the existence of God. This may sound like a nice world to live in, but it would be a world without faith and without spiritual growth of any kind. Petitionary prayer is just one type of prayer and it is certainly not the most important type of prayer (though it is of course still important to be aware of our utter dependence on God for all we receive).

You need to realize that God knows what’s best for us. We do not. We like to think we know what we really need or want in life, but often we are mistaken. So being denied what you request in prayer does not mean that your prayers aren’t worth anything. This is easier said than done of course, and I have my moments of weakness like everyone else when it seems that my request of God is just and his perceived absence is difficult to bear.

This is particularly difficult when we are witnessing injustices or suffering that we are powerless to stop ourselves and hope God will do it for us. But we must remember in these instances that God the Father allowed his only begotton Son to suffer beyond our ability to comprehend. This suffering saved the world and gave us a difficult path to follow, but the path of love is the only path that leads to God and to reach God one must endure trials and suffering in this life.

I strongly urge you to speak to your priest about these trials of faith you are currently undergoing. Schedule some time to talk with him. I guarentee you that, unless he has just been ordained yesterday, he has had more than ample experience helping others with similar trials. When facing doubts like yours it can be particularly dangerous if faced alone, especially if you are still new to the faith. And there seems to be a strong impulse for people in situations like this to mull over these doubts in their own heads without reaching out to the community of faith around them. If you choose this path it will only make things harder.

God does have a plan. It is not surprising we cannot fully comprehend it. In fact, were the opposite true I’d be rather stunned. We are small, short-sighted, finite creatures. Why should we expect to understand the divine plan? Christ says as much Himself when He tells the Apostles, “It is not for you to know the times or periods that the Father has set by his own authority.”
 
Black_Rose said:
I most certainly do not believe God has any plan for me, or anyone that I know for that matter. I do not see any difference between “God’s plan” or whatever economic, social, and physical forces being to any person’s life. I fail to see God’s interaction in the world, and it would seem that any purported divine intervention can be explained parsimoniously through mundane coincidences and other deterministic or stochastic phenomenon.

Before I posted this thread, I never believe that God acts in, for example, our financial or social interests, but many threads in the prayer thread have people petitioning for a job. If prayer, using gaming terminology, has a “positive expected value”, then I am unable to see it because the external variance is too high relative to “PEV”. I just feel prayer is just an act of futility now. (Some people attribute the “positive variance” of life (such as finding employment) to the effects of prayer because it would seem that it could be explained without prayer.)

I remember this lyric from when I was listening to the “Bleach” anime openings (which are quite good) and endings on YouTube about two weeks ago: “Some sadistic God is testing us.”

(I forgot what the song was named.)

When I think about prayer, those lyrics still resonate within me.
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I’ve thought that very thing when I’m in the midst of darkness.

I don’t know what Crosses you carry; you don’t know mine. I walk in darkness more often than light; I was raised in darkness.

I know of at least two ‘coincidences’ that could not have been mere coincidences. I have experienced at least one miracle cure. And I am constantly wondering what God’s plan is for me, and I don’t yet know.

Sometimes I get burnt out on prayer. When you can do nothing else, just speak the name of Jesus.

It worked for Father Corapi.
 
Try to remember how God can work through others in your life. When you seek; you shall find. When you knock; the door shall be opened to you. Forgive; and you will be forgiven. It is in seeing God’s likeness in your fellow man, not an outward aparition of God that He is ever present in your life. In seeking out answers in CAF, you are with God in a big way. You are in the company of those who were created in His image and likeness. Your family and friends and aquaintancs are outward signs of God’s presence in your life too. Pray but do not forget what Jesus said, " I am with you always, now and until the end of time.

I hope I have explained this well.
God Bless You Always
magdelaine1173’’
 
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