Feeling dishonored this Mother's Day

[whatevergirl]

I absolutely know from our dating days that my husband has it in him to do simple things that say a lot. Holidays and occasions are NOT about material things, as WGirl said. A note with three sentences under my cup of coffee at breakfast could have made the whole day different. A card he helped the kids to make me, breakfast they made me, anything like that would have hit the spot. It did especially hurt when I saw the time he spent on his mother’s card and I didn’t get one at all. The message is that his mother is prized and I haven’t earned my place in his heart yet.

I don’t get the whole “you’re not his mom” thing. The most precious thing in this world are our children. He feels this way too. We each have separate roles that we provide for our children, and on Father’s Day, I will honor him for being their father. These are big roles, important roles. And being honored on Mother’s Day communicates love and encouragement. It breathes new life into a weary mom who does everything for her family, and little for herself. Honoring his mom thanks her for the past. His future lies with us, and to honor his wife, the mother of his children, is to hope for the future as well. That’s how I see it.

And, as many of you pointed out, his behavior is an example to our children and you know, I bet if I had a discussion with him and asked him if he thinks that we are modeling good behavior in this department, I know he would agree that we could do much better. I would not want my future DIL to feel like this.

The poster whose children drew a bubble bath and made her cold, soggy pancakes brought tears to my eyes. So simple. And so completely wonderful!

And the five rosebushes- one for each child? Wow. That is an awesome, thoughtful thing to do!

If my husband would have just thought to guide our children through an activity to show them what it means to honor and thank mommy would have filled my heart to overflowing.

Maybe I’ll visit the lumber section at Lowe’s this afternoon…:newidea: Just kidding

Kittery! You are in brighter spirits–I’m so glad! I totally know where you’re coming from–and I think that a simple conversation to express this will probably turn things around next year. Jrabs is correct…in that our husbands don’t know how to read minds. They should, but…lol But, my husband and I had chats like this early on, and he now knows what my needs are, as I know what his are. Not everyone is the same…not every family celebrates the same, but two spouses should be tuned into each others likes and dislikes, what would bring a smile to his/her face, etc…it just takes a little elbow grease, as my mom used to say. But, make sure you have that talk, because things that we swallow taste really bad when they come up again. I know, gross–but it’s true! (((hugs))) to you mama…you sound like such a sweet wife and mommy.

 

[hasikelee]

I’m the exact opposite. I hate getting gifts, especially flowers and cards. I am too practical! I think they are a waste of money. And especially right now, when we are trying to buy a house, trying to graduate and have a baby on the way, every dollar is counted.

DH and I went shopping together on Saturday and bought a potted Stargazer Lily. This flower was the first flower he gave me, back at our junior prom. It was also our wedding flower. $8.

And no card!

Some of his friends found out and gave him trouble about it, but I said it’s really in his advantage as now he gets to go shopping for his Father’s day gift. He wants a grill lol!

Okay, on the serious side, I was willing to write off the bulbs as a man thing until your DH made the comment about planting them. It sounds as if he is very unhappy/resentful about something.