Feeling down about life

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iwillrisenow

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I’ve been feeling pretty down about life lately. Maybe part of it is that late 20s worry and depression brought on by everyone else’s success and happiness…I know we’re not supposed to feel this way as Catholics, but I see so many people I’ve known in the past and it seems like most of them either have a) a great job/degree/career or b) a great relationship/are married, if not both. I can’t stand Facebook, everyone just seems to be bragging on there with the pictures and posts and number of friends. Me, I made a huge mistake that’s going to cost me my whole financial future, am living somewhere I really wouldn’t be living if not for the potential to save money where there is ZERO chance of much more happening in my life for at least the next year (in terms of career or relationship), and am a couple of months away from resigning into a career I don’t really love, but hope will provide some stable income and a chance to build some sort of future with the rubble I have now…I want to go out and meet people, but I’m constantly shunned for the type of work I do here. I don’t really fit into a group…status matters more than anyone will tell you. I don’t really have friends anymore…most just fade away with time and distance, or they climb further up the ladder and no longer associate with me. Also, I’m a convert, a lot of former friends are self-proclaimed atheists, so that’s always interesting… I just can’t figure out where everything went so wrong… I had a serious situation in my family for many years where we lost a lot of friends…is that why I don’t have enough “connections” to get a decent job? I’m an introvert/don’t look like a supermodel/etc… is that why I’m still single? And, most importantly, what is God’s lesson in all of this? I mean, this is some serious desert…

Has anyone gone through and survived a period like this? What got you out (if you can get out at all)?
 
Might try meditating on this:

CHAPTER 22 - On Human Misery – Imitation of Christ, Book I, by Thomas a Kempis
Code: 
WHEREVER you are and wherever you turn, you will not find happiness until you turn to God. Why are you so distressed when events do not turn out as you wish and hope? Is there anyone who enjoys everything as he wishes? Neither you, nor I, nor anyone else on earth. There is no one in the world without trouble or anxiety, be he King or Pope. Whose, then, is the happiest lot? Surely, he who is able to suffer for love of God
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Many weak and foolish people, say, “See what a good life that man enjoys! He is so rich, so great, so powerful, so distinguished!” But raise your eyes to the riches of Heaven, and you will see that all the riches of this world are as nothing. All are uncertain and even burdensome, for they are never enjoyed without some anxiety or fear. The happiness of man does not consist in abundance of this world’s goods, for a modest share is sufficient for him. The more spiritual a man desires to become, the more bitter does this present life grow for him, for he sees and realizes more clearly the defects and corruptions of human nature. For to eat and drink, to wake and sleep, to rest and labour, and to be subject to all the necessities of nature is a great trouble and affliction to the devout man, who would rather be released and set free from all sin.
Code: 
The inner life of man is greatly hindered in this life by the needs of the body. Thus, the Prophet devoutly prays that he may be set free from them, saying, “Lord, deliver me from my necessities!” Woe to those who refuse to recognize their own wretchedness, and doubly woe to those who love this miserable and corruptible life! For some cling so closely to it, that although by working or begging they can hardly win the bare necessities, they would yet be willing to live here for ever if it were possible, caring nothing for the Kingdom of God.

How crazy and lacking in faith are such people, who are so deeply engrossed in earthly affairs that they care for nothing but material things! These unhappy wretches will at length know to their sorrow how vile and worthless were the things that they loved. But the Saints of God and all the devoted friends of Christ paid little heed to bodily pleasures, nor to prosperity in this life, for all their hopes and aims were directed towards those good things that are eternal. Their whole desire raised them upward to things eternal and invisible, so that the love of things visible could not drag them down. My brother, do not lose hope of progress in the spiritual life; you have still time and opportunity. 

Why put off your good resolution? Rise and begin this very moment, and say, “Now is the time to be up and doing; now is the time to fight; now is the time to amend.” When things go badly and you are in trouble, then is the time to win merit. You must pass through fire and water, before you can come into the place of rest. You will never overcome your vices, unless you discipline yourself severely. For so long as we wear this frail body, we cannot be without sin, nor can we live without weariness and sorrow. We would gladly be free from all troubles; but since we have lost our innocence through sin, we have also lost true happiness. We must therefore have patience, and wait for God's mercy, until this wickedness pass away, and death be swallowed up in life. 

How great is the frailty of man, ever prone to evil! Today you confess your sins; tomorrow you again commit the very sins you have confessed! Now you resolve to guard against them, and within the hour you act as though you had never made any resolution! Remembering, then, our weakness and instability, it is proper to humble ourselves, and never to have a high opinion of ourselves. For we can easily lose by carelessness that which by God's grace and our own efforts we had hardly won. 

What will become of us in the end if our zeal so quickly grows cold? Unhappy our fate, if we rest on our oars as though we had already reached a haven of peace and security, when in fact no sign of holiness is apparent in our lives. It would be good for us to be instructed once more, like good novices, in the ways of the good life; there would then be some hope of our future improvement and greater spiritual progress.
 
Bible verses from today’s Liturgy of the Hours:

Mid-morning reading (Terce) 1 Corinthians 10:24,31 ©
Nobody should be looking for his own advantage, but everybody for the other man’s. Whatever you eat, whatever you drink, whatever you do at all, do it for the glory of God.

Noon reading (Sext) Colossians 3:17 ©
Never say or do anything except in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Afternoon reading (None) Colossians 3:23-24 ©
Whatever your work is, put your heart into it as if it were for the Lord and not for men, knowing that the Lord will repay you by making you his heirs. It is Christ the Lord that you are serving.

universalis.com/-400/today.htm
 
I am sorry to hear your plight. Even your work situation is as such, you still need to expand your social circle. It is not easy, but if you are doing nothing, nothing will change. You will be much happier when you make some friends. Does your church have young adults group? If not, you still can search in the area you live and try to find such a group. It does not mean you will get into some relationship, but it can strengthen your faith and enlarge your circle. Don’t worry about your late twenties. You are still very young. People get married late nowadays. It does not matter everyone else has got married already. The important thing is to step out, to reach out.

You can pray, have you prayed and let God know the desires of your heart? Put God first in your life and all other things will be added unto you. Sometimes you may have to pray for years before your desired answer comes. But always hope, always believe. Know that God cares about your life. Develop a close relationship with Him. Do not feel down. A depressed person usually will not attract people. God bless. My prayers be with you.
 
People don’t brag about all the awful things that go in their life, you aren’t getting the full picture from FB about these peoples life’s and so you are starting to have a distorted view of your life in comparison to theirs.

Focus more on heaven and less on the world.

Perhaps you have a vocation to the religious life, if you do you will never be happy until you pursue it, something to consider if you haven’t already.
 
I agree, facebook can distort your perception. It seems to be an exercise in vanity at times for some. I use it with a limit. Stick with family, no ex’s and for me, no one of the opposite sex besides family cause I have found the ones who bragg the most about their lovely family are the ones asking you out behind their s.o. 's back. Life can be a rollercoaster so hang on and enjoy everything as a gift, even hardship you can thank God for.
 
I wouldn’t say I’m doing “nothing.” I go out almost every weekend and do activities (workshops) that involve meeting other people. Meeting them is no problem-- finding friends is a completely different matter. I’m living outside my home country and usually go to the English Mass at a church that is an hour away. I’ve met others at a church that is closer, but there aren’t really any youth groups/activities.

Also, in terms of my age, I’m female. A man can conceivably start a family well into his fifties or even beyond, but a woman…well, unless her name is ‘Sarah’…:rolleyes:
 
iwillrisenow said:
I’ve been feeling pretty down about life lately. Maybe part of it is that late 20s worry and depression brought on by everyone else’s success and happiness…I know we’re not supposed to feel this way as Catholics, but I see so many people I’ve known in the past and it seems like most of them either have a) a great job/degree/career or b) a great relationship/are married, if not both. I can’t stand Facebook, everyone just seems to be bragging on there with the pictures and posts and number of friends. Me, I made a huge mistake that’s going to cost me my whole financial future, am living somewhere I really wouldn’t be living if not for the potential to save money where there is ZERO chance of much more happening in my life for at least the next year (in terms of career or relationship), and am a couple of months away from resigning into a career I don’t really love, but hope will provide some stable income and a chance to build some sort of future with the rubble I have now…I want to go out and meet people, but I’m constantly shunned for the type of work I do here. I don’t really fit into a group…status matters more than anyone will tell you. I don’t really have friends anymore…most just fade away with time and distance, or they climb further up the ladder and no longer associate with me. Also, I’m a convert, a lot of former friends are self-proclaimed atheists, so that’s always interesting… I just can’t figure out where everything went so wrong… I had a serious situation in my family for many years where we lost a lot of friends…is that why I don’t have enough “connections” to get a decent job? I’m an introvert/don’t look like a supermodel/etc… is that why I’m still single? And, most importantly, what is God’s lesson in all of this? I mean, this is some serious desert…

Has anyone gone through and survived a period like this? What got you out (if you can get out at all)?
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Hey according to your signature you are going to China for vacation. That’s awesome!

Atleast I guess you mean China by “Chine” as in french. . . .
 
There’s some good uplifting things in this thread, especially from Robert Sock. Thank you. It reminds me that people should really take it one day at a time, and renew their zest for life, but especially to renew their faith and hope in God every day.

We can do nothing without Him. iwillrisenow, I can relate to you. I am also a female in my 20s. I had a facebook account that included those that were not really my friends.
I deactivated it and won’t look back. As for right now, don’t dwell on loneliness.
I pray that you will find peace in the presence of God. We are never alone, after all. Please remember that. Your guardian angel is rooting for you to make it out of this darkness. Rejoice in this. Every little thing is done in God’s time, not ours (I grapple with this myself). Also remember that as much as you and I suffer, there are others in this world that suffer even more and that are more vulnerable than we are. Remember these poor souls in your prayers, if you can. I find that we receive more than we give even through prayer for others.

In the end, it is God’s will that we suffer. He does not send us more than we can bear, and when accepted with great faith, suffering purifies our souls and gains us entrance into the Eternal Kingdom.

What has helped me in all aspects of my life is praying the Rosary daily. I have also begun praying the Seven Sorrows of Mary. Here are the sorrows of hers that are meditated upon while praying the Hail Mary:
  1. The Prophecy of Simeon.
  2. The flight into Egypt.
  3. The loss of the Child Jesus.
  4. Mary meets Jesus carrying His Cross.
  5. The crucifixion.
  6. Mary receives the body of Jesus from the Cross.
  7. The body of Jesus is placed in the tomb.
 
Life is good and life is beautiful because God is the giver of life so don’t feel down about life. If you consider facebook as real life, you’ll always end up feeling down. I personally consider facebook as a virtual life. People brag on facebook. Some people pretend to be living good on facebook but in real life they are not. Don’t worry much about tomorrow because only God knows tomorrow and where there seems to be no way, that is where God reveals Himself. There is power in positive thinking so think positively, continue to work hard and leave the rest to God.
 
iwillrisenow said:
I wouldn’t say I’m doing “nothing.” I go out almost every weekend and do activities (workshops) that involve meeting other people. Meeting them is no problem-- finding friends is a completely different matter. I’m living outside my home country and usually go to the English Mass at a church that is an hour away. I’ve met others at a church that is closer, but there aren’t really any youth groups/activities.

Also, in terms of my age, I’m female. A man can conceivably start a family well into his fifties or even beyond, but a woman…well, unless her name is ‘Sarah’…:rolleyes:
Click to expand...
Late twenties is young. I know many girls get married in their early thirties and have their first child from 33 to 35. Don’t worry so much. Since you like to dance, you may join some social dance group. Yes, finding friends are not easy, no matter what age you are in. Patience is a virtue. Put God first and remember “this is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad”.
 
Living abroad is a big challenge in itself. I think you are very brave to do it. I’m sure there are gifts and abilities God’s given you to be able to do this that maybe you aren’t seeing as clearly right now. It can be challenging living in another country, no matter what.

Late 20’s really isn’t that old, although I understand how it could feel that way. There really is time for marriage and a family.

God definitely has a plan for your life that is in the process of being worked out right now. Hang in there and pray, pray for an intimate relationship with Christ and for his guidance. You will not go wrong relying on Him and being a faithful Catholic.

Praying the rosary helps me a lot .

God bless you and I will remember you in prayer.
 
I work at an historical site and the other day a class of ‘special ed’ students came up and it was sooo sad…all boys,they smiled and kinda drooled…I spoke to them and their counselors as best I could,gave them a free item pertaining to the site and they left.I felt ashamed of myself as they departed for I was upset that morning that the coffee was too strong and that I missed so many chances in life…and here these equally important humans have to be treated like pets!..I had a very bad speech impediment in high school,when going to the store and I had to ask for an item I wrote it down on paper and handed it to the clerk!.Later I purchased a tape recorder and worked on that problem. But there are people who are deaf and blind to this day etc etc. The ability to compare is in many ways,the secret of inner peace. The mere fact that you can type and explain yourself so lucidly proves you are more fortunate then millions of lost ,struggling going uphill and against the wind folks. Your day will come,dont dispair,I was a loner also in school yet managed to break the school record in the hurdles when I finally put on my thick unsightly eye glasses…good luck,take that bat off of your shoulder and swing at life…you have much to offer …all the best…Pas
 
Thank you all very much for your kind words and wisdom. I really don’t know what I’d do without access to this board…I’m in a very isolated situation right now and your words have brought more hope than you can ever know.

I don’t know, I’ve always had a hard time with the approach of looking at those who are less fortunate to feel better about my own situation. It’s one thing to take the focus off oneself and pray for all of those who are suffering in this life (which I think is really at the heart of what people are saying), and quite another to be ‘thankful’ that you don’t have to deal with a, b, c, etc. I just think about how I’d feel if someone thought about me that way instead of seeing the good qualities.

I had my Facebook deactivated for a long time, then put it up once again when I left for abroad for informational purposes (local groups posting information about meetings, etc.). I really wish they’d come up with some way of blocking the “news feed” at the very least…not to be mean, but I don’t really need to know what elementary school classmate I haven’t seen since high school ate for breakfast or what college acquaintance who worked on a show with me once wore to her wedding. It may be time to find other ways of keeping in touch and to hit that button once again…

It’s interesting that a few people have mentioned the rosary…I’ve recently taken it up and have been praying it daily for a little over a week…it really does make a difference (although it seems like it can also draw some, er, unfriendly attention:().
 
And, yes, will be in China soon. Am looking forward to a much-needed break 👍
 
iwillrisenow said:
It’s interesting that a few people have mentioned the rosary…I’ve recently taken it up and have been praying it daily for a little over a week…it really does make a difference (although it seems like it can also draw some, er, unfriendly attention:().
Click to expand...
If what you mean by that, is attention from the infernal one, then you know you are definitely headed in the right direction. Praying to Jesus through the Rosary is the devil’s scourge.
As Padre Pio said ‘The Rosary is the weapon’. :knight2:
 
I’m very similar. I’m female, looking at what people my age are doing and feeling inadequate (occupationally/socially/educationally/you name it), and can’t stand facebook. This may be ironic typing this on a message board, but I’d rather have a off-line social life. I’d just rather talk to people, and it doesn’t help that stupid facebook is where the conversations and invites take place. It’s just so…boring.

It’s hard to do this sometimes, but I try to concentrate on (any) relationships I have now, and realizing that life isn’t about comparing my life to others, but letting go and letting God so that I can live my own life how it’s meant to be lived. This wasn’t an overnight revelation, and I have help (like family actually telling me this, managers who haven’t fired me yet, etc.), and I took practical steps to do what I could (moving from an area that I didn’t like, going to school for a new job, actively not avoiding social engagements, etc.).

Your situation doesn’t seem impossible by any means. It’s possible to find contentment in your own life; it’ll probably just take some time and effort. You’re not alone. As we become more isolated and cut-throat as a culture, I’m sure more and more young people find themselves in our shoes.
 
I realize this reply is a little after the fact, but I was just searching for some comfort myself when I stumbled upon this post. I have been struggling so much with jealousy and pride and comparing myself with others. I have been off of facebook for almost two years now because of this struggle. Its all about the constant reminder that nothing matters except your relationship with God. Just keep your eyes on Him always. The rosary is such a great tool for that. These posts are really great. Props to everyone for being so encouraging.

God is good.

“Let nothing trouble you. All is fleeting. God alone is unchanging.” - saint theresa of avila
 
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