Hopeforfaith, it’s good to see you’re coping and aren’t being brought down (too much). You do need to avoid having your mind wonder away* to that guy you’re no longer together with. Don’t analyse, don’t bring back memories, go on with your life, don’t repress normal human emotions, though. Take care!
This is excellent advice.One other thing we need to learn about love between a man and a woman is to let go of the hopes of a relationship if the other party doesn’t want it or wants it only half-heartedly (or if we want it half-heartedly in fact but are just pushing ourselves into it for this or that reason, including reluctance to admit mistake). Sometimes we very badly want it to work out finally, to work out this first time ever and so on and so forth. But we need to let go instead. You probably won’t remember much from these tribulations when you’re happily married in a couple of years from now. And you definitely don’t want to be in a relationship which you forced on yourself due to having some sort of idea.
As far as the experience goes that you describe, I understand. I could write some of the latter parts myself (details are slightly different, since I’m male but let’s just say physical pain is capable of arising from emotional situations). Like you, though, I wouldn’t let it show, though, so.
Anyway, stay true to your course, don’t settle just to be done with the journey, don’t lose faith, don’t stop your efforts, don’t force yourself into relationships when you know better, not even if every man you meet shows red flags (or is not really attractive to you, or both). Meanwhile have strong relationships with God, with your family, with friends. Don’t ignore the people you can rely on, don’t deny yourself a social life (or just a cup of coffee at a café) just because there’s no special gentleman to go there with (and films are still good when watched with friends, and food still tastes good and all).
You have a lot of spirit, it shows. Fight on. Even the fighting alone is worth it.
Sometimes it can be very discouraging to experience these types of events in our lives, especially if they repeat themselves over and over. It can be extremely tempting to settle for a situation that is less than ideal simply because we are weary of continuing the battle.
You will be in my prayers tonight.Throughout these few months, I think I did a pretty good job to keep myself busy from thinking about him. But as as summer comes, memories are brought back. It was last year this time that i met him. I have always been a sentimental person and with every seasonal change in temperature and weather, memories become clearer than ever. Time flies and I don’t know what am I going to do with myself when summer comes and it will be exactly a year from when I met him. I am able to ignore the negative feelings when i’m busy, but they somehow always resurface when I’m relaxing. I might even end up thinking about him, say, on a particularly long bus trip. Perhaps he’s forgotten about me already, but I don’t think I can forget him.
I can’t be busy forever, stuffing myself with work. I’ve been doing so in the past months and I think I have been stretching myself too thin in order to forget about him. I’ve turned almost into a workaholic, going to libraries and burying myself with books. Still, as they say, unrequited love lasts forever. Maybe I should avoid Facebook, where I can see his profile and other things that can bring up memories.
The worst thing is, I don’t know if all our friends are going to have a reunion. If they do, I don’t want to see him again if he’s moved on, because the pain would be too much. But if they did go out and I can’t see him, the pain is equally huge. But I can’t possibly stop my friends from having a reunion.
I’ve been praying and hoping God can give me peace of mind. Maybe time will wash everything away.
Well, I just need somewhere to share my feelings as I don’t feel like discussing these things with my friends and family. Thanks again for all your support
If that was true I’d be in major trouble!
You WILL get over these feelings, as everything improves over time. You can’t help that you will occasionally think of him or see something that reminds you of him, but just submit those feelings to God. I just said a prayer for you. YES, absolutely! Add him to your facebook Block list so that you can neither see his profile, nor can he see yours. Sounds extreme but you will never be able to forget him if you keep torturing yourself by Facebook-stalking him. Think of it like any addiction, the recovering alcoholic who has to spill all his bottles of booze down the drain, travel by different routes to avoid his old watering holes, etc— it would be impossible for him to honestly stop drinking if he continues keeping that temptation in his house!
I like this advice. I don’t think Facebook promotes positive relationships in the real world.
Excellent post.
I’ve had it, it sucks but over time you are able to get over them. I understand about not wanting to see them but also wanting to see them. I’ve decided —even though I still wonder about seeing her— that she’s out of my life for good and I’m in a new phase in my life. I still think, well maybe one day when A.B and C happens I’ll try and contact her, but by that time I will probably have forgotten her. So I know what you’re going through and I wish you the best.I have managed to forget about him for a while. But just today I heard our mutual friends are going a show together. I do want to meet my mutual friends. But he is going to be there too. I still said yes anyway. But I feel so nervous right now, I can’t stand seeing him again. I don’t want to see if has moved on, or he is still friendly to me, or he’ll choose to ignore me. Either way, it will hurt so much. But I can’t avoid him altogether. I just… don’t want another heartbreak, or even some more confusion, or be that stupid girl falling for him if he treats me just a little better than turns out he has a girlfriend or whatever.
But you know, I think for a tiny part, I want to see him. Or not. I don’t know if it is a coincidence that his friend didn’t ask me to go while asking others. One of my closer friends asked me. Does he hate me now? He has no reason to. After all, I am the girl that he forgot about. Does my friends hate me now or excludes me because they know something that I don’t?
Once again, thanks for listening and all your prayers. It feels good to have someone to share my worries with
I think because I was too shy, she thought I am a creep. She turned from nice and smiling at me to really showing me that she hates me (one day before my birthday). She is the only enemy I have at the University. So I had a depression for more than 4 months.:bighanky: And since I had an unrequited love for the second time (thanks God we are still good friends), just thinking of dating stuff makes me sick.Sometimes, unrequited does make us grow. Nice to hear you benefited from itLast October, the first girl I ever liked decided to hate me.
But because of the depression I started to go to new places. The result is that I meet the SSPX and now I am thankful that I had this depression.
Well, do you have feelings for him? Is there any chance that he does? Of course, you can perhaps not know that for sure but you will never know if you don’t talk with him. I am not saying that you should bring up such things at this occasion but unless you have any sort of reason for not going then why should you not go?Sometimes, unrequited does make us grow. Nice to hear you benefited from it
It turns out my friend haven’t really bought the tickets yet and are asking me about whether I am available. Though I said I was before, should I turn it down? Should I avoid seeing him all together for good?
Maybe he also fears unrequited love and a rejection that destroys your friendship?Sometimes, unrequited does make us grow. Nice to hear you benefited from it
It turns out my friend haven’t really bought the tickets yet and are asking me about whether I am available. Though I said I was before, should I turn it down? Should I avoid seeing him all together for good?
It is but you do need to focus on your studies. When you’re in late teens or early twenties, it may appear materialistic to you to think so but this changes as you get older. Your studies are basically your future (vocation, place in life, livelihood of your family) and something that must take precedence before cool guys. I wish I had understood this when I was your age.
how is it going now? what is your situation now like