Feeling drawn to catholicism but not husband

  • Thread starter Thread starter Stacylee
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

Stacylee

Guest
I’m a wife and mother of three boys and we are members at a Presbyterian church. For the duration of the time I’ve attended church I haven’t felt at peace about where I was, and I have had strong convictions that my pastors and my husband do not agree with, however I have found upon reading about the catholic faith that my convictions are very much in line with the teachings of the catholic church. I don’t know everything about the catholic church, but I know enough that it is very misunderstood by many protestants. This is the trouble that I am facing with my husband. He is very closed to anything Catholic. I feel like I will not have peace if I don’t follow that instinct to become catholic, but my husband refuses and would not let me raise our kids catholic. I feel so confused! Its been two years I’ve struggled with this feeling like I’m not where I belong and its eating me up inside. I’m torn because of my husbands strong views and because I love my church family and do not want to leave them. How should I approach all of this and have some peace?
 
I converted to the Catholic Church without my husband a year and 1/2 ago. You must go where God is calling you, but I very much sympathize. Fortunately my husband was never against me becoming Catholic. (I was more concerned with my parents which ended up ok) It sounds to me like the Holy Spirit is drawing you and you need to obey. It won’t be easy but God will work things for the good. Once you convert you will have opportunities to correct the misconceptions of the Catholic Church to your spouse and even if your children don’t join you, you will be able to share your faith with them. It just takes that first step. I would suggest going to your local priest or some priest in your area and visiting with him. Let your husband know you are going there to learn more about the Catholic faith and that you will see how that goes. He will slowly see you changing. Go through RCIA which is a process. This gives time not only for you to grow in the Catholic faith but helps those around you to get accustom to you so that when you get to the point it won’t be as much of a problem.

My love and prayers,
mlz

P.S. The Catholic faith is deep and beautiful and there is so much to still learn…I love being Catholic!
 
If you can back up your pull and convictions to your want to come to the church and because you know it’s what Christ is calling you to who is Truth with clear logic and your reason…out of love, your husband should not be holding you back from such a thing.

If you know why you are choosing to do this and can meet your husband on the level of reason (you’re able to back up why you feel the way you feel)…he won’t be able to argue with you.

From Matthew chap 10:

34t “Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth. I have come to bring not peace but the sword. 35For I have come to set

a man ‘against his father,

a daughter against her mother,

and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law;

36and one’s enemies will be those of his household.’

. 37u “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38and whoever does not take up his cross* and follow after me is not worthy of me. 39* v Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it

That’s what truth does…it causes you to make a choice. You’re making yours right now because you have come in contact with what you precieve is Truth (Jesus said: I am the way, the TRUTH and the life…His Church is His body).

Now, God does not want to destroy a marriage…so I urge you to be patient, loving and understanding in this matter (just as you want your jhusband to be understanding).

This is going to be trickey and I think I will leave the rest to someone more pastorlly proficient than I . I don’t think it would be a horrible idea to find a good holy local priest in your area to speak with. Make an appointment and they can offer guidance. God bless!

You know you are welcome to attend mass and catholic functions (just can’t participate in the sacraments themselves)…just try not to cause discord with your marriage in what you’re going to participate in right off. Apart from seeing a priest, I also HIGHLY suggest you find a Eucharistic adoration chapel in your area (you can search for one online) and go there to be with the lord and open your heart to Him…your marriage is precious to Him and God can find a way!

God bless
 
great point by last poster.

A big reason that may change your husbands heart…let him see the transformation in you and if you let Catholicism change you …it will!

online version of the catechism of the catholic church: usccb.org/beliefs-and-teachings/what-we-believe/catechism/catechism-of-the-catholic-church/

AWSOME catholic bible study site: www.salvationhistory.org

AWSOME free online cd post from a well known catholic apologist that tells why he had to leave the protestant church and his protestant ministry…he uses the bible to show the catholic church being the one true church and that it is called to guide and shepherd Christ’s people : catholicscomehome.org/not-being-fed/

nice site for converts to click through : catholicscomehome.org/

Lastly, … bookmark this site too : lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store?gclid=CICIptavpLkCFcgWMgod6koAuQ

extremely cheap catholic media to buy (and some stuff for free) on almost any catholic topic, subject or concern you could think of!

God bless in your journey
 
You might enjoy reading “Home Sweet Rome” by Dr.Scott Hahn and his wife Kimberly. Dr. Hahn was a Presbyterian minister who felt drawn to the Catholic Church. His wife Kimberly had several Presbyterian ministers in her family, and she herself had a master’s degree in theology, and she didn’t want anything to do with the Catholic Church. Needless to say they are both now Catholic. Dr. Hahn is a professor at Steubenville University, and both he and Kimberly are the authors of many books. This book tells about their struggles in the process of conversion both in their family and professional lives. You can find it on Amazon or in any Catholic bookstore. I hope that you take the advice of the others here and talk to a priest. He will know how to help you approach your husband with this issue. I am sure that you have the prayers of all who are reading your story.
 
Being a Catholic married to a non-Catholic poses it’s own set of problems. My husband of over 40 years was raised in the first christian Church. He converted just before we married to please me. We were married in 1968 and I was 17–he was 20. He was getting ready to be shipped to Vietnam and we decided to get married. i share this background so you will understand when I say that he took his “classes” on the naval base in San Diego. He only had to take 3 or perhaps 4 classes so you can pretty well imagine just how little he absorbed. I was so glad that he converted (as it pleased my parents who, like a majority of parents, were none to happy that I wanted to marry as a teenager) that I almost pushed him into converting and didn’t question his resolve. The Catholic church is beautiful and I’d bet that the more you learned, the more and more you would be drawn to it. With all respect–and I fell away for a number of years and ultimately came “home” to my faith–I decided long ago that there were only 2 options for me anyway. Either 1) I had to be some other faith such as a Jew or Hindu or 2) I had to belong to the Christian church with the oldest traditions and beliefs that could trace itself as far back and as close to Jesus’ time on earth–thus I had to choose Catholicism. Another words, if a Christian church did not exist before, say 1750–but it broke away from a church that traced itself back to the year 33 AD–how could the break away church be correct? This is part of what you will find if you delve into the Catholic church. My husband–a truly good man–however never really understood the faith, truly believes that he does know it since he took classes, and thus today has difficulty with concepts like going to confession, the rosary etc. I am working on him–but it’s hard because he was taught that to be saved you had to accept Jesus as your personal savior–period! So, my advice. Seek instruction in Catholicism yourself–even if he’s unhappy–because if you don’t, you will forever be resentful that he prevented you and inside, you will never be at peace and certain that all’s well with your soul. If, after classes, you want to convert, do so. Just don’t ramrod him toward joining and for now, teach your children Catholicism by your example and perhaps as they get older (if the kids are young) by casual introduction to a catholic view point. If you do this, he won’t feel threatened. Remember that many protestant dislike Catholocism because that’s how they have been raised. Let him see the joy that the faith will have in your life and pray, pray, PRAY for your family. Don’t ever insist he takes classes, go to Stations of the Cross, say the rosary etc unless he’s ready to on his own. Give him time to absorb. If you push him, hell push back. If you let him decide on his own by patient osmosis, I bet in a few years you’ll be a catholic family!:clapping:
 
Another couple of books I would recommend are SURPRISED BY TRUTH, and SURPRISED BY TRUTH 2. I think it will help you a lot. 😉
 
Jesus said :

I have come to bring a sword, not peace.

You are in a situation were the Lord comes first, not any discomfort you may feel when you pursue where the Lord wants you to be.

Perhaps begin by speaking to a Catholic priest of what you posted here?

May the Lord be with you on your spiritual journey!
 
Make an appointment with a priest, have a chat, and then take RCIA classes. In RCIA you learn about the faith, but are under no obligation to convert. If you attend RCIA and a couple of Masses and are sure of your conversion you’ll have to talk to your husband and explain to him your calling to the Church. Hopefully, he will agree to go to a few RCIA meetings to understand your spiritual journey and maybe the seed of conversion will be planted.

I was raised Lutheran and then became Pagan, Atheist and Agnostic. My husband was raised Catholic and fell away. When he decided to return to the Church, i did see a difference in him. He became more patient, more affectionate, more peaceful and better able to handle stress and disappointment. I got curious and decided to go to Mass. Partially because I felt a God shaped hole in my life, partially to understand something important to my husband. I fell in love with Mass and ended up deciding to convert. Maybe something similar will happen with you and your husband.
 
Make an appointment with a priest, have a chat, and then take RCIA classes. In RCIA you learn about the faith, but are under no obligation to convert.
I’m so glad you brought this up. A lot of people seem to think that RCIA is only for those who are ready to convert. You are absolutely free to attend and learn, and THEN decide.
 
Sometimes people will go through RCIA more than once and still not convert. But, they did learn about the faith.

It would be great if your husband would go to RCIA with you just to learn and understand what you are so drawn to.
 
[Matthew 10:37] “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”

So, follow your Faith in Jesus and His Church and become Catholic. Who knows? Maybe your kids will decide to become Catholics on their own, even if your husband doesn’t want it.

God bless.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top