Feeling embarrassed

[Kathrin]

Sometimes when I am with people who are not church-going Catholics or not I feel a twinge of embarrassment. I posted something about feeling embarrassed to cross myself in public on the spirituality board. I have realized today that there is another issue too. That I need to work on. But I am torn.

I mentioned here before that my parents are not church-going catholics. They know that I am. I am torn how much to share about my faith sometimes, because I don’t want them to think Catholicism is something that necessarily must render you scrupulous. (Because I tend to be overly scrupulous).

But here an example of today. I left the house with my guitar, not intending to go play in the street because it is a Holy Day of Obligation, but to go visit a disabled woman in a kind of care home and play there instead, not for money.
My Dad was there when I left the house and said something like, “it’s cold today”. Knowing I do street music.
I was kind of embarrassed to tell him I wasn’t playing in the street today. WHY??? He knows I am a Catholic. Am I afraid he might just think I am scrupulos and overdoing it???
I said “I’m not going to play much outside.”
Yikes! I realized, really, I was being embarrassed again, and to be totally truthful, I’d have had to say, I am not going to play at ALL outside.
So quickly I added: “I am going to visit Mrs. H. So I am playing inside instead of outside today.”
Still not mentioning the Holy Day though.
So tis was probably an itty-bitty lie… ok you might say I am still being scrupulous here, but it IS something I want to work on.

So tongiht when I get home I want to mention the Holy Day to my parents.

I hope my little not-all-the-truth wasn’t too bad of a sin.

Any (name removed by moderator)ut?

Kathrin

 

[andzy]

I left the house with my guitar, not intending to go play in the street because it is a Holy Day of Obligation, but to go visit a disabled woman in a kind of care home and play there instead, not for money.

Why can’t you play your guitar in the street for money on a Holy Day of Obligation?

 

[Fergal]

I think your scruples are playing up again!

Firstly I think you heart is very much in the right place and I laud you for it. You are an example to me.

Secondly I can understand you embarassment thoroughly. What I would say to you is this: Tell the truth simply for the love if God. If the folks in the early Church did not tell the truth even in small matters then there would be no martyrs.

Secondly when the embarrasement hits in see it with supernatural eyes. Supernaturalise the moment and tell God that you are willing to suffer the embarrasement for Him. When you are embarrased add an intention to it. Maybe offer the difficult moment for the Holy Father’s intentions, for the grace of light for your folks of for whatever may be you need at that time.

God grants us these moments of difficulty / embarrasement in order to help us grow in grace. We should not let them pass by without bearing fruit.

Those of us who love the Church and love our Faith and do our best to live it should never be afraid and should, as St Peter tells us, “always be ready to give a reason” for your hope and your actions in Christ.

Well done.

 

[MH84]

Does everyone here say thanks to God when they are about to eat a meal in public?

 

[Pat_the_Cat]

Originally Posted by Kathrin Sometimes when I am with people who are not church-going Catholics or not I feel a twinge of embarrassment…

…I hope my little not-all-the-truth wasn’t too bad of a sin.

Any (name removed by moderator)ut?

Kathrin It sounds like you suffer from timidity and need to work on strenghtening the virtue (good habit) of Courage. Remember Courage is not the lack of fear, but the ability to do what’s right even when we are afraid. Virtues grow and strenghten the more we use them. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit for an increase in Courage, especailly when there’s something you know you should say or do, but are afraid.

Does everyone here say thanks to God when they are about to eat a meal in public?

MH84, As christians we are able to “bless” things and make them holy. That is why we “bless” each other when we say “Bless you” or “God Bless you”. We also “bless” ourselves when we make the sign of the cross on ou body. We should also “Bless” our food before we eat it. It makes our meals “holy”. It has the added bonus of being a good witness to others when it’s done in public, although prayer should never be done with the “intention” of impressing others.

 

[guanophore]

Sometimes when I am with people who are not church-going Catholics or not I feel a twinge of embarrassment. I posted something about feeling embarrassed to cross myself in public on the spirituality board. I have realized today that there is another issue too. That I need to work on. But I am torn.

I mentioned here before that my parents are not church-going catholics. They know that I am. I am torn how much to share about my faith sometimes, because I don’t want them to think Catholicism is something that necessarily must render you scrupulous. (Because I tend to be overly scrupulous).

But here an example of today. I left the house with my guitar, not intending to go play in the street because it is a Holy Day of Obligation, but to go visit a disabled woman in a kind of care home and play there instead, not for money.
My Dad was there when I left the house and said something like, “it’s cold today”. Knowing I do street music.
I was kind of embarrassed to tell him I wasn’t playing in the street today. WHY??? He knows I am a Catholic. Am I afraid he might just think I am scrupulos and overdoing it???
I said “I’m not going to play much outside.”
Yikes! I realized, really, I was being embarrassed again, and to be totally truthful, I’d have had to say, I am not going to play at ALL outside.
So quickly I added: “I am going to visit Mrs. H. So I am playing inside instead of outside today.”
Still not mentioning the Holy Day though.
So tis was probably an itty-bitty lie… ok you might say I am still being scrupulous here, but it IS something I want to work on.

So tongiht when I get home I want to mention the Holy Day to my parents.

I hope my little not-all-the-truth wasn’t too bad of a sin.

Any (name removed by moderator)ut?

Kathrin

You are right that these are all good opporunities for witness, and by taking advantage of them, we can give testimony to our Lord. He said if we are ashamed of Him before men, He will be ashamed of us before the Father. I have these same struggles every day, but fortunately, there are many opportunities to practice. I was surprised by one of my co workers yesterday who said in the middle of a conversation about something else, “now, I know you are a good Catholic but…”

I did not know it was showing! I am very careful at work to be discrete because I work in an environment where no one is allowed to proselytize. How did she glean that? I may have to ask her. I am sure it is small things, maybe Ash Wednesday? Many times I want to cross myself at work, and stop myself so that I will not be considered to be pandering religious influence.

 

[pyropam]

Stand up for the Lord! He stood up for you. I know all to much about embarrassment. We all do!

Live your life for Christ, others may want to be like you. They may decide to follow your path when they can see how happy you are.

I found myself frequently forgetting to say grace when in public. Then one day I heard a couple next to us saying grace. My son and I imediately blessed ourselves and began to say grace.

 

[TraditionalCath]

Does everyone here say thanks to God when they are about to eat a meal in public?

yup! i do all the time!! everytime we eat in public we say grace! absolutely giving thanks to the heavenly Father for what He provides for us! absolutely! iam not afraid to make the sign of the cross anywhere! as for the op, i think you suffer scrupulosity. i think you need to worry less and just go play your guitar. does it matter if it is on a holy day of obligation? no. i don’t think so. i think you need to put away your worries and go and play your guitar and make yourself and others who hear it happy. as long as you go to Mass, then why worry about what others think? go play your wonderful music, make yourself happy, and others. your not breaking any law by playing your guitar in public or not on a holy day of obligation. just make sure you can get to Mass…

 

[BlestOne]

Does everyone here say thanks to God when they are about to eat a meal in public?

Yes… whether it is McDonalds or a 5 star restaurant… (well if I could afford to go to one of those)

 

[dessert]

So tongiht when I get home I want to mention the Holy Day to my parents. ** **

I hope my little not-all-the-truth wasn’t too bad of a sin.
No sin that I see

Any (name removed by moderator)ut?

Kathrin

Love in Christ
D.

 

[Kathrin]

Wow, once again, you guys are such an inspiration!
You lift up my heart. Yes, I WANT to be a good witness, and show my love for God! I actually had several opportunities today. When I played some of my songs for the people at the care home, I included songs that praise God. And then on the way back, on the bus, I talked to some older men who were coming back from some walking/hiking tour, and as it came up during our conversation (after we had sung songs on the bus!!) I told them that according to the church calendar it was a holiday today, and so it was a holiday for me.
And after I got home I did make sure I mentioned it to my parents, when they asked me if it hadn’t been cold out there.
But, you know, in a happy way: Not like, I am not allowed to work today, but more like: It is a holiday for me, I didn’t have to go out and make money, I could take a break…

Why can’t you play your guitar in the street for money on a Holy Day of Obligation?

I thought Holy days of Obligation were like Sundays. And I like to keep them special by not including them in my money-making days. Exceptions allowed sometimes, if it has to be.

But I am glad I spent the day the way I did!

Kathrin It sounds like you suffer from timidity and need to work on strenghtening the virtue (good habit) of Courage

You know, it really depends. I can go out there and play and sing in front of people. I don’t mind doing some things that other people would call “crazy” if I think it is good. On the other hand, if I feel strongly about something, yes, then I get really timid about it!! I have often wondered why. Not only about showing my faith openly, but about other things too. I’ve had this since I was a child, as far as I can remember.

Live your life for Christ, others may want to be like you. They may decide to follow your path when they can see how happy you are.

Yeah!! That is what I want to do!!
That is also why I don’t want to do things that will give other people an impression of a scrupulous faith.
But as I said - do it the happy way. Show happiness. That is THE way to witness, I think. That inner peace you can feel that coems from faith.

Almost 6.15 pm here in Europe now. Mass is at 7.30.

Kathrin

 

[MH84]

I have to admit Im not sure at when we should say a prayer for food besides meal times. Should we say a prayer or make the sign of the cross each time we drink or have a snack?

 

[andzy]

I have to admit Im not sure at when we should say a prayer for food besides meal times. Should we say a prayer or make the sign of the cross each time we drink or have a snack?

I’d say whenever a family would gather together, sit down and have a meal. Of course, not everybody has a family or can have every meal together, but that’s the guideline I’ve used. Whenever I’m in a situation where if I had/was with my family and we were to have a meal, I say a prayer (sometimes it’s said out loud, sometimes just to myself).
Just my personal :twocents:

 

[Kathrin]

I often say a little prayer even before a snack.

 

[LilyM]

I have to admit Im not sure at when we should say a prayer for food besides meal times. Should we say a prayer or make the sign of the cross each time we drink or have a snack?

I’m a bit more general about it - I certainly begin each day by thanking God for all his blessings, including the food I eat, but don’t tend to specifically say grace before each meal or snack or whatever (although if the food is especially good there’s a big ‘thankyou’ to Him afterwards for sure!)

 

[MSParrott]

I suffer from this myself, unfortunately. If I am in public, I hardly ever do anything so as not to be “noticed” - I do make the sign of the Cross when I pass a Church, but honestly sometimes try to mask it from others. I hate myself that I do that, because in my heart (and mind) I am reminded that Jesus said if we deny Him, He will deny us. This is something I really, REALLY need to work on. But when I am in Church or home, or even on this site, I am totally at ease.

I’m sorry I don’t have anything to offer, as the other wonderful posters seemed to have said it all. But please know that you are not alone and also know that you are in my prayers that this can be overcome.

 

[Kathrin]

MS Parrott,
I will pray for you too!


Kathrin

 

[TMC]

I rarely cross myself in public. When I pray and happen to be in a public space I do so quietly and without any outward sign. I do (usually) say a little pray at meals and so forth, sometimes I neglect to. But like MSParrott, I don’t like to call attention to myself. I don’t think this is a bad or sinful attitude. To cross myself in public feels to me like announcing “Hey! Look, I’m praying now!” So I don’t.

I don’t think this is a denial of Jesus or my faith, although I can see how others may feel that way. Probably everyone I know and work with knows that I am Catholic and a religous person. I don’t preach or proselytize at work in any way, but people do occasionally approach me about religion and then I’m happy to discuss at length.

I like the way St. Francis put - preach the Gospel always, if necessary use words.

 

[djrakowski]

Does everyone here say thanks to God when they are about to eat a meal in public?

:yup: Every time we eat out. And if I forget, my daughters remind me

 

[MH84]

I rarely cross myself in public. When I pray and happen to be in a public space I do so quietly and without any outward sign. I do (usually) say a little pray at meals and so forth, sometimes I neglect to. But like MSParrott, I don’t like to call attention to myself. I don’t think this is a bad or sinful attitude. To cross myself in public feels to me like announcing “Hey! Look, I’m praying now!” So I don’t.

I don’t think this is a denial of Jesus or my faith, although I can see how others may feel that way. Probably everyone I know and work with knows that I am Catholic and a religous person. I don’t preach or proselytize at work in any way, but people do occasionally approach me about religion and then I’m happy to discuss at length.

I like the way St. Francis put - preach the Gospel always, if necessary use words.

Yes I think you are doing fine. But others may refreain from ‘public prayer’ because they are embarrassed or are too self conscious. I pray before eating in public, but I admit sometimes I feel a bit uncomfortable doing so, especially to make a sign of the cross. When I’m out and about and I can’t recall others (besides family and priests) who pray while in a public place. I think its normal to feel like this, but the key is to pray anyway.

I hope I’m not hijacking the thread here, but out of curiosity, do you have any troublr praying while youre with a group of non-believers or non Catholics or whoever besides family?