Feeling guilt without obvious sin

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CutlerB

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Hello there everyone,

I have a question about confession and the examination of one’s conscience. Last week, I went to confession, so I could receive Communion this Sunday (I can’t go to confession on Saturdays). I am trying to make it a habit to examine my conscience every night, so I can confess everything I might find.

I really struggle with a lot of temptation, of particular kinds. Saturday night, I examined my conscience, and while I found venial sins and lots of temptation, I couldn’t really say “That was mortal sin”. Many of the things I termed “temptation” could have turned into mortal sin, but when I examined my conscience, I concluded that I didn’t really will to commit sin X. Since the will’s engagement is relevant to mortal sin, I found those not to be mortal sin but temptations.

I prayed about it and asked Our Lord and the Holy Spirit to help me with examining my conscience. In fact, I asked Them to let me know somehow if I was unworthy of receiving Holy Communion multiple times: Saturday night and at Mass on Sunday.

At Mass, I went to receive Communion, but somehow I have a nagging feeling now that I shouldn’t have. It goes so far as that I may have committed mortal sin when I received Communion in a potentially unworthy state.

I couldn’t name anything of which I could clearly say “That was mortal sin”, only lots of temptations. Now, I feel unsure of receiving Communion, but I couldn’t go to confession either since I wouldn’t know what to confess.

Can anyone help with this? What should I do? Has anyone ever felt the same?
 
If you don’t even know what to confess then you are not in mortal sin. It must be DELIBERATE. Temptations are not something to even confess unless your confessor is your spiritual director and you are discussing things like that with him. You might be experiencing scrupulosity or attacks from the devil.
 
God bless you and help you to know how much God loves you.
Perhaps say often,
Jesus I trust in You.
 
It’s like I feel there is something I haven’t confessed (adequately). A nagging that says “Don’t take Communion, you’ll sin.” Thinking I’ve given in to some temptation but don’t realise it. Being presumtuous and arrogant in thinking I hadn’t sinned. 🤷

I’m making it a habit to say a Hail Mary and Our Father when tempted, but I often realise too late.
 
If you are not in an obvious state of mortal sin and the Lord Jesus is calling you to receive Holy Communion, receive and be filled with His blessings.

Your post suggest you’re treading on scrupulosity, which this forum seems to feed. It might even be best for many people who struggle with scrupulosity, to stay away from this forum.

Don’t mock Jesus death and resurrection by seeing yourself as unworthy to receive Him in the Holy Eucharist. We are made worthy through Him.

He went through what He went through, for our sins and His immense love and mercy for us is the reason He did it.

Jesus wants us to be filled with joy not despair and focused on our unworthiness. People who focus on their unworthiness, will usually see others as even less worthy. God loves us, irrespective of our self-perceived worth.

God does not make junk, and we are not junk, but worth the price He paid in becoming man in Jesus Christ.

Jim
 
Hi Cutler,

What helps me when I go to confession is to use an “Examination of Conscience” guide booklet or leaflet. Many parishes provide them in the church at the time of confession, or you can buy one at a Catholic bookstore.

This guide helps to determine what constitutes a sin. I find it helpful because it helps you to remember something that you might otherwise forget to confess, before you go to confession–something that might have slipped your mind.

As for temptations, I had a pastor explain them to me where it is normal for us to be tempted, and that temptations are not sins. It is when we act out on temptations that they become sins.

If you are troubled by how you are feeling, I would talk to your pastor.
 
Are you using the written Examination of Conscience to go by? Or, are you just thinking through this yourself?
 
The best way to examine one’s conscience, is to use the two commandments Jesus gave us, and examine yourself against them.

Love the Lord God with all your heart, all your strength and all your soul and love your neighbor as yourself.

If you examine yourself against these two, you’ll know how God see’s your soul.

Jim
 
CutlerB said:
It’s like I feel there is something I haven’t confessed (adequately). A nagging that says “Don’t take Communion, you’ll sin.” Thinking I’ve given in to some temptation but don’t realise it. Being presumtuous and arrogant in thinking I hadn’t sinned. 🤷

I’m making it a habit to say a Hail Mary and Our Father when tempted, but I often realise too late.
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I can’t say for certain but this sounds like scrupulosity. Receiving Jesus in Holy Communion leads us away from sin, not toward it. Unless you can say with 100 percent certainty that you have sinned mortally, then do receive holy Communion, no matter how you feel. A fear that you will sin after receiving Jesus is not a good reason to not receive Him. He loves you as you are, despite all your sins. The more you are tempted, the more reason to receive Jesus in Holy Communion. I have gone through scruples, where I would go months at a time without receiving Jesus in holy communion, because I feared that I was in mortal sin, when I really wasn’t. This was such a mistake and I missed so many graces. Don’t make that same mistake.
I suggest you make an appointment to talk with a priest and ask him about it, and trust what he says.

It is not arrogant and/or presumptuous to acknowledge that everything you do isn’t a sin. It is possible to have not sinned since your last confession. And remember that even if you have sinned venially, you should still receive Jesus in Holy Communion. The only time you shouldn’t is if you can say with 100 percent certainty that you did commit a mortal sin that hasn’t been confessed.
You can’t sin accidentally. If you did sin, then you’ll know. You won’t not realize it. And again, it has to be a mortal sin for there to be a good reason to not receive. If it’s just a feeling that you have done something wrong, but you don’t know what, then this feeling is irrational, and you should not heed it. The feeling may stick around, but giving in to the compulsion to not receive holy communion and/or confess this “sin”, will only make the feelings come back more frequently.
When it comes to confession, don’t confess doubtful “sins”. Only confess things that you can say with 100 percent certainty are sins.
I know it can feel wrong not to confess things we think are sins, but trust me, it’s not wrong.
If you are suffering form scruples as I did then you should get counseling from Catholic priest and or therapist or psychologist or someone else who knows how to help with this. Scruples are usually a manifestation of OCD, and sometimes medication can help. It helps me, although what helped me more, (and I don’t know if this will be the case for you) was learning to not give in the compulsions, learning how to cope with them, eventually made them much less frequent and much less severe.
 
oldgraymare2 said:
Hi Cutler,

What helps me when I go to confession is to use an “Examination of Conscience” guide booklet or leaflet. Many parishes provide them in the church at the time of confession, or you can buy one at a Catholic bookstore.

This guide helps to determine what constitutes a sin. I find it helpful because it helps you to remember something that you might otherwise forget to confess, before you go to confession–something that might have slipped your mind.

As for temptations, I had a pastor explain them to me where it is normal for us to be tempted, and that temptations are not sins. It is when we act out on temptations that they become sins.

If you are troubled by how you are feeling, I would talk to your pastor.
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My parish doesn’t have any such booklet. I think I am almost alone in going to confession there! I am probably wrong, but, to me, Germany seems like desert-land when it comes to Confession. I’ve never heard anyone preach on it, not even the Bishops.

I did, however, find an examination of conscience through Father Z’s blog. He emphasises Confession. 🙂
acadiANNA said:
Are you using the written Examination of Conscience to go by? Or, are you just thinking through this yourself?
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I use an app that has an examination of conscience in it. No, it is not an app that purports to absolve. It merely includes a long list of sins grouped by commandment that I use as a basis. If there is one that is not in the list, I add it. But so far, it’s always the same mortal sins I commit.
 
It sounds to me as if you are confused between sin and temptation. If you are tempted to steal my wallet and you end up stealing my wallet, it’s a sin. If you don’t steal my wallet, no sin. Of course there are other gray areas, but just remember even Jesus was tempted. Consider yourself lucky you have temptations because they help us grow stronger.

Jesus does not want to see you so torn. It does sound to me like scrupulosity you suffer from or attacks from the devil. The more and more we focus on our own sinfulness the less we focus on Jesus. Trust in His Mercy. It all comes down to TRUST. I could probably sit and examine my conscience for the next 2 weeks and I could still come up with more and more things to feel guilty about. Does Jesus want that? No!!! Of course He wants us to confess sins, but when we do, trust that they are forgiven and keep trusting, over and over. Ask Jesus to love like He loves.

Pray also for the gift of gentleness toward yourself. Whenever you feel a thought attacking yourself coming on, whisper Jesus’ name and ask the Blessed Mother for the ability to be gentle with yourself. May God bless you.
 
I’ll have to re-pose the question.

I am conscious of tons of very strong temptations, and venial sins, but now I am confused as to the border to mortal sin. I understand that mortal sin must engage the will, but what exactly does that mean?

If one had, say, impure thoughts occur often, what would turn them into mortal sin in reference to the will? The other day of Catholic Answers Live (the latest Open Forum with Jimmy Akin) I heard him say something about mortal sin that seemed to suggest one must will to mortally sin against God, like “I know this is mortal sin, but who cares, I’ll do it anyway!”. That’s one way one could understand the “wilful” aspect of mortal sin, but I can think of another way. I’ll put them side by side.


  1. *]“I know this is mortal sin, in this very moment I am aware of it, but I’ll go ahead anyway.”
    *]I know this is sinful, that is, I was taught so once, but at the moment of temptation I am not consciously saying “Who cares?”

    I will admit that I struggle with impure thoughts and temptation often, and that I am trying to make it a habit to pray at the moment they pop up. Sometimes my mind wanders, and I then realise it’s going where it shouldn’t and stop, other times it’s of a more conscious (aware) nature, but I couldn’t exactly say the thoughts were wilfully provoked. That’s what makes it so difficult.

    I examined my conscience yesterday night and before Mass today, concluding I had lots of strong temptations and venial sins, but I couldn’t say for certain I had committed mortal sin. I chose to go to Holy Communion. Now, I’m worried again. I can’t go to confession for the next few weeks, since my work schedule doesn’t allow. It may sound a bit extreme, but it’s still a valid point: What if I were to have an accident and die during this time, unsure of my conscience? That thought scares me.
 
You falling into scrupulosity.

As Jimmy Akins said, for a sin to be mortal, it must be committed willfully with full conscience that you are offending God, and you do it anyway.

Thoughts are not sins, even immoral ones, because they come from outside the will. What makes them sinful is if you dwell on the thoughts and allow yourself to be willing to act on them if you could.

You need some spiritual direction from a priest or competent religious person and do what they tell you.

You should also avoid Catholic web forums once you begin, because they can be a source for scrupulosity.

Jim
 
Oh dear, that last part is really difficult. I like CAF! 🙂 Thanks for your helpful reply.
 
CutlerB said:
I’ll have to re-pose the question.

I am conscious of tons of very strong temptations, and venial sins, but now I am confused as to the border to mortal sin. I understand that mortal sin must engage the will, but what exactly does that mean?

If one had, say, impure thoughts occur often, what would turn them into mortal sin in reference to the will? The other day of Catholic Answers Live (the latest Open Forum with Jimmy Akin) I heard him say something about mortal sin that seemed to suggest one must will to mortally sin against God, like “I know this is mortal sin, but who cares, I’ll do it anyway!”. That’s one way one could understand the “wilful” aspect of mortal sin, but I can think of another way. I’ll put them side by side.


  1. *]“I know this is mortal sin, in this very moment I am aware of it, but I’ll go ahead anyway.”
    *]I know this is sinful, that is, I was taught so once, but at the moment of temptation I am not consciously saying “Who cares?”

    I will admit that I struggle with impure thoughts and temptation often, and that I am trying to make it a habit to pray at the moment they pop up. Sometimes my mind wanders, and I then realise it’s going where it shouldn’t and stop, other times it’s of a more conscious (aware) nature, but I couldn’t exactly say the thoughts were wilfully provoked. That’s what makes it so difficult.

    I examined my conscience yesterday night and before Mass today, concluding I had lots of strong temptations and venial sins, but I couldn’t say for certain I had committed mortal sin. I chose to go to Holy Communion. Now, I’m worried again. I can’t go to confession for the next few weeks, since my work schedule doesn’t allow. It may sound a bit extreme, but it’s still a valid point: What if I were to have an accident and die during this time, unsure of my conscience? That thought scares me.
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  1. Perhaps this will only confuse the matter, but I hope it clarifies it, instead.

    I’ll throw one more issue into your discussion: Paragraph 1735 of the Catechism.

    1735 Imputability and responsibility for an action can be diminished or even nullified by ignorance, inadvertence, duress, fear, habit, inordinate attachments, and other psychological or social factors.

    So…everything that the Church teaches is “grave matter” isn’t necessarily a mortal sin, for the reasons stated. And, that paragraph is in the section talking about “free will.” Therefore, when you talk about the “border” to mortal sin, you have to consider these things, in 1735, which are a part of the Deposit of Faith. You must believe in 1735 as much as anything else.

    One thing about this is, if you consider an action that you do out of habit or fear, etc. like 1735 says, then you are not acting with total free will. SO…it is not a mortal sin, and you don’t even have to confess it. There would be no point in printing this paragraph in the Catechism, if you are just going to confess it anyway. You may actually commit the action that you were tempted to do, and it STILL is not a mortal sin, under those conditions.

    There are even examples of this in the Bible. In the Old Testament, there is an example of a slave woman who is forced into adultery. Since she did not act out of free will, she does not have the guilt for this adultery. On the cross, Jesus prayed, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do – in other words, ignorance.

    You must not ignore the teaching of the Church of the deposit of faith. If you reject this teaching, you may even be committing heresy. And, the issue involved here, is the teaching of the Church about the mercy of God.

    I’m surprised no one has said it yet, but I always understood that if you forgot to confess a sin, it was still absolved in that confession, if you were not deliberately withholding some sin. So, may I suggest that you keep looking ahead, and do not dwell excessively on the past.

    you will see that 1735 is rather vague and broad. “OTHER” psychological and social factors. Like what? It doesn’t say. What did the Bishops and Popes of the Church expect us to take away from reading 1735? I can’t get priests to explain 1735, either. But, I’ll tell you, it must be important, as it is IN the catechism. So, you have a first-class case for ignorance, simply because the catechism doesn’t explain this. It’s up to you to see when this applies and have faith that it does apply.

    God bless.
 
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