Feeling Guilty

[Latinitas]

Hi everyone,

I’m having a little bit of a guilt problem right now.

As some of you know, I posted about having these extremely strong temptations of passion come out of the blue last week and which have not fully died (thankfully, they are weaker than they were), and, despite having done my best to fight the thoughts off (the temptations were all thought too - which is worse, because doing nothing doesn’t help), I can’t help but feel terribly guilty that I’ve sinned, and that I’ve displeased God, disrespected women etc.,

And if that’s not bad enough, I’m also feeling guilty of not doing enough to convert the rest of my family to Catholicism (I’m a convert, as many of you know). I pray for their conversion frequently, but I’m worried sick about their souls sometimes, and then I think it’s my fault, and that I have to undertake these severe penances for their conversion.

Anyway, while I know this probably scrupulosity, I’m totally sure.

Any thoughts?

Keep me in your prayers, please,
Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas

 

[Dorothy]

Pray the Holy Rosary for yourself and for your family. God’s grace will help…in His way and in His time.

Graces will be offered to you and your family. All is up to the Lord, and He is very generous!

Do not feel guilty for what is not happening as it should. Keep trusting the Lord and He will take care of it in His time.

I say this from experience…the many years of prayers for my husband were not in vain…prayers are never in vain. He had a very happy death, reconciled to the Lord. Meanwhile all the prayers were helping me as well!

God bless you…I will remember you in my prayers.

 

[RPRPsych]

Hi everyone,

I’m having a little bit of a guilt problem right now.

As some of you know, I posted about having these extremely strong temptations of passion come out of the blue last week and which have not fully died (thankfully, they are weaker than they were), and, despite having done my best to fight the thoughts off (the temptations were all thought too - which is worse, because doing nothing doesn’t help), I can’t help but feel terribly guilty that I’ve sinned, and that I’ve displeased God, disrespected women etc.,

And if that’s not bad enough, I’m also feeling guilty of not doing enough to convert the rest of my family to Catholicism (I’m a convert, as many of you know). I pray for their conversion frequently, but I’m worried sick about their souls sometimes, and then I think it’s my fault, and that I have to undertake these severe penances for their conversion.

Anyway, while I know this probably scrupulosity, I’m totally sure.

Any thoughts?

Keep me in your prayers, please,
Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas

No thoughts, but plenty of prayers. :hug1:

Keep up the good fight.

 

[tawny]

Hi everyone,

I’m having a little bit of a guilt problem right now.

As some of you know, I posted about having these extremely strong temptations of passion come out of the blue last week and which have not fully died (thankfully, they are weaker than they were), and, despite having done my best to fight the thoughts off (the temptations were all thought too - which is worse, because doing nothing doesn’t help), I can’t help but feel terribly guilty that I’ve sinned, and that I’ve displeased God, disrespected women etc.,

And if that’s not bad enough, I’m also feeling guilty of not doing enough to convert the rest of my family to Catholicism (I’m a convert, as many of you know). I pray for their conversion frequently, but I’m worried sick about their souls sometimes, and then I think it’s my fault, and that I have to undertake these severe penances for their conversion.

Anyway, while I know this probably scrupulosity, I’m totally sure.

Any thoughts?

Keep me in your prayers, please,
Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas

Keep praying for them. I’m praying for you & your family.

 

[fred_conty]

Hi everyone,

I’m having a little bit of a guilt problem right now.

As some of you know, I posted about having these extremely strong temptations of passion come out of the blue last week and which have not fully died (thankfully, they are weaker than they were), and, despite having done my best to fight the thoughts off (the temptations were all thought too - which is worse, because doing nothing doesn’t help), I can’t help but feel terribly guilty that I’ve sinned, and that I’ve displeased God, disrespected women etc.,

And if that’s not bad enough, I’m also feeling guilty of not doing enough to convert the rest of my family to Catholicism (I’m a convert, as many of you know). I pray for their conversion frequently, but I’m worried sick about their souls sometimes, and then I think it’s my fault, and that I have to undertake these severe penances for their conversion.

Anyway, while I know this probably scrupulosity, I’m totally sure.

Any thoughts?

Keep me in your prayers, please,
Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas

… but feel terribly guilty that I’ve sinned, and that I’ve displeased God…

If it is any consolation to you, there have been many saints who were plagued with that type of temptation. It isn’t the temptation that makes you good or bad, it is whether there is refusal or acceptance. It is the will or choice, and not the feelings. We must live but our faith and if necessary to force ourselves to accept the truth of faith and enforce it, for that is what God expects of us. All we are materially is a bag of chemicals, just as this big earth is a bag of chemicals. Chemicals are not what makes God pleased or displeased, but what goes on in the heart.
And our actions and choices reflect what is going on in there, not our emotions.

The other idea about this is that God allows us temptations of this nature to bring us closer to him. He allows us to go thru temptations so we may demonstrate our love for him and grow in our love and grace. It is easy to say “I love you” when it doesn’t cost. But to resist is what all the martyrs did.

And one more point, is that these temptations if offered up to Jesus out of love and with willingness, can and do bring grace, and it can be applied for your relatives if you so desire. So these temptations may be what will be the fulcrum point of God turning his love towards your relatives.

May God our Father give you grace and peace.

 

[Beryllos]

No thoughts, but prayers…
Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

 

[InNomineDomini]

Whilst this could be scrupulosity, it could also be many other things. You should consult a spiritual director, as this is very personal and deals with your inner heart.

In terms of converting our families, this task is often the most difficult of all insofar as evenalisation is concerned. After all, our families have known us from a very young age, and know all our faults and weaknesses, and generally tend to be more happy for us that we’ve “found something” than they would take our apologetic advances seriously.

Moreover, conversion is always the work of the Holy Spirit, and it’s improper to feel guilt when someone to whom we speak resists or inwardly blocks grace or even simply hasn’t received all the grace they need.

Whilst God gives all men sufficient grace to come to Him, He is not necessarily giving every man and woman sufficient grace at each and every moment of their lives. We shouldn’t mistake that for the quality of own meager presentation of the faith.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

A good friend of mine is a revert to Catholicism.

He became very much in your face religion with his relatives, and the result is, not one returned to the Church, but even his own mother has told him to back off and to not talk about religion in her or the family’s presence.

The best way to bring people to Jesus, is to live a good life that they see as holy and what they desire.

The best way to drive them away is to preach to them.

Jim

 

[suko]

The best way to bring people to Jesus, is to live a good life that they see as holy and what they desire.

The best way to drive them away is to preach to them.

As St. Pio is often quoted: “Pray, hope & don’t worry.” ~ so trust in the Lord that he’ll hear your prayers for them.

 

[Kathrin]

I’ve had a long battle with scrupulosity.
I have learned a lot, feel much much freer now, but thoughts still come back sometimes.
If you have scrupulosity, also be careful with forums.
For me, well-meant advice has sometimes triggered more scruples (e.g. if somebody suggested I do a certain thing or say a certain prayer, I would feel guilty if I didn’t take the advice but felt it was better for me to do it a different way.
In such cases it is often really better to talk to a priest.

Not saying it cannot help to get support from a forum. Just knwo that not everybody understands scrupulosity.
If that is what you have, and it DOES sound a little bit like it to me (but of course I can’t know)… you know, that tendency to almost SEEK OUT things you can feel guilty about? Feeling guilty about things you don’t do on purpose? etc

God bless you!!!

Kathrin

 

[fin]

Hi again Latinitas

Regarding praying for your family’s conversion… I also pray for my family members, and one of the things I’ve done is place the Green Scapular among their belongings (without their knowledge) and reciting the daily prayer for them. catholictradition.org/Mary/green-scapular4.htm

I continue to pray for their conversion especially at daily Mass. Sometimes I feel skeptical and tired (like right now), thinking if this would ever happen, I don’t see any improvements, and so on. But I already started it, I might as well finish it, and just have to keep on hoping, even though I feel the exact opposite.

And if that’s not bad enough, I’m also feeling guilty of not doing enough to convert the rest of my family to Catholicism (I’m a convert, as many of you know). I pray for their conversion frequently, but I’m worried sick about their souls sometimes, and then I think it’s my fault, and that I have to undertake these severe penances for their conversion.

Latinitas

 

[ready]

Please continue to pray and do penance for your family, and be a good example. Worry is useless and will only make you sick, so pray and do penance to draw graces down upon your family members.