Feeling Hopeless

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My mother calls me useless. My father is an alcoholic, he swears a lot at me primarily. He also uses force to get his way. My siblings are the pride of joy of my parents. My parents tell them to keep away from me, because I’ll be a failure in the near future and drag them down with me. I’ve done horrible in school all my life, I’m definitely not incapable, it’s just so hard to concentrate on life when you’re in a constant state of melancholy. Not to mention my parents have prevented me from doing school work many times. They’d rather have me mop the floors. Honest to God, I have no idea what I did to have them hate me so much. I’m not a bad daughter, I don’t go out with friends a lot, I don’t drink or smoke, I don’t hang out with bad company, I mean all my friends are scholars, I go to church with my parents every Sunday, I don’t ask for too much and I try my best to be a good person. All I want in life is to, as much as I hate to admit, please my parents. They don’t treat me very well and I don’t want to hate them, I owe everything to them, but it’s just getting very hard now. I’ve become so mentally unstable, my parents are aware of it. I have wanted to take the easy way out many times, but I’ve managed to always talk myself out of it because I know, life is precious.

I’ve never been extremely close with God, and I feel selfish calling for him only when I’m in need. But I know I can’t overcome these rough times by myself. What can I do? Where do I start in order to build a relationship with him? I want to start over and I need help.

I’m sorry if I seem naive by this, I really need some advice.
 
Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry. As I was reading your post do you know what I thought.
“This girl is a real-life Cinderella.”

You don’t deserve any of this. I know it’s hard and you want to please your parents. The more they hurt you , the more you probably want their approval. That’s usually how it is with abuse.

You need to tell yourself you are an amazing person and you are better than how your parents portray you as. And you won’t be under there roof forever, so this isn’t permanent. Look forward to the future and imagine yourself someday married with amazing children, or a career, or whatever it is you dream of. Focus on that and accept that you won’t be able to please everyone. Some people will never be pleased and will keep expecting more and more. Forget them. Try to make yourself the person you want to be. Of course be respectful of your parents by I would try to distance myself a bit from the abuse. Join some clubs, confide in some friends, talk to your priest. And always pray to God. He will strengthen and help you through this. Remember, people’s emotions and feeling can change on a daily basis, but God’s love your you is permanent and unconditional. So even when it feels like your parents don’t care, God does. Trust Him, He has a plan for you. Ask for His help.

Also, you sound very depressed. I think you need to talk to your school counselor and/or a priest immediately. They can help you through this. You don’t have to go through this alone. Please don’t hurt yourself.

God Bless you!

Please, never give up.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”
Matthew 7:7
 
Rationalists said:
My mother calls me useless. My father is an alcoholic, he swears a lot at me primarily. He also uses force to get his way. My siblings are the pride of joy of my parents. My parents tell them to keep away from me, because I’ll be a failure in the near future and drag them down with me. I’ve done horrible in school all my life, I’m definitely not incapable, it’s just so hard to concentrate on life when you’re in a constant state of melancholy. Not to mention my parents have prevented me from doing school work many times. They’d rather have me mop the floors. Honest to God, I have no idea what I did to have them hate me so much. I’m not a bad daughter, I don’t go out with friends a lot, I don’t drink or smoke, I don’t hang out with bad company, I mean all my friends are scholars, I go to church with my parents every Sunday, I don’t ask for too much and I try my best to be a good person. All I want in life is to, as much as I hate to admit, please my parents. They don’t treat me very well and I don’t want to hate them, I owe everything to them, but it’s just getting very hard now. I’ve become so mentally unstable, my parents are aware of it. I have wanted to take the easy way out many times, but I’ve managed to always talk myself out of it because I know, life is precious.

I’ve never been extremely close with God, and I feel selfish calling for him only when I’m in need. But I know I can’t overcome these rough times by myself. What can I do? Where do I start in order to build a relationship with him? I want to start over and I need help.

I’m sorry if I seem naive by this, I really need some advice.
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How old are you? Your siblings? your parents (roughly speakng)? Since your father is an alcoholic I will asume your are living in a disfuctional family. I did when I was young. You can look up disfunctional faimiles, alcoholic familes, and the various ‘roles’ that different people in the famly ‘play’ (it’s unconscious). I was the family scapegoat and it sounds like you are too. Being always blamed for the wrongs of others or havng anger focused on you when others are feeling bad.

I suggest you do a little reading on that topic to give yourself a little insight and perspective.

I use prayer as my primary means of being close to God. I ask him to remove all the negaive things from me and replace them with positive things Jesus would have be in me. I try to remember to pray whenever I’m having bad thoughts, even passing thoughts, or struggles of any kind. I also try to remember to pray in thanks when bad thoughs/feelings are liftend though prayer.

Do you attend Church? Confession and reconsiliation? Even if your sins are tiny this can be helpful. I also think it’s very important for you to find at least 1 adult who you can trust. You don’t need to share everything with them, but having a stable, calm, understandng adult in one’s life when they are growing up in a disfunctional family can be and is extremely valuable. I had this and lost it when I was 12. That, and every day since, was much worse than the abuse I suffered. Not having that person (or any calm, stable, rational, caring adult figure in my life) was far worse than the abuse I suffered. I went into a shell and went in deeper and deeper over the years.

I have since learned it is critical for someone growing up in a disfunctional family to have a caring adult in their life they can spend time with on a regular basis. It doesn’t even have to be centered around you discussing your problmes at all. Just the presense of a caring and trusting and loving adult to have contact with regularly is very valuable. I can’t stress this enough. Maybe a family member? A neighbor friends mother?

You could choose to go to a guidance counselor at school but they may take action on your family and I don’t know if you want this or not, how old you are, and how this might work out for the good or bad.

Build that relationsip with God. He is there for us 24/7, anxious to help us and listen to us, we only need to turn to him and ask for help. I used to pray for like 3 hours a day (broken up thorugh the day) and found it extremely helpful. I need to pray more, your post is reminding me of that.

This is my advice. Good Luck.

God Bless,
Bill
 
Marie1234 said:
Also, you sound very depressed. I think you need to talk to your school counselor and/or a priest immediately. They can help you through this. You don’t have to go through this alone. Please don’t hurt yourself.
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Depression is a serious thing. I have PTSD and Depression and I take 5 different medications, all to help me get by in the world as an adult due to what happened ot me as a kid. My situation was extreme, not to diminish yours, just saying I don’t think you would ever need this level of treatment.

But there are medications that alter a person’s mood who is depressed to take away negative thoughts and feelings. Considering seeing a couselor or telling your doctor of your situation and if you feel depressed (if you tried to hurt yourself or have had thoughts of doing so these are classic signs). I still have passing suicidal thoughts even though I never attempted it and don’t think I ever will, it just comes with my illness, when I have bad days sometimes. I’m glad I take the medications I take but medications are not for everyone and an individual choice. But I don’t think it would hurt to talk to your doctor about you trying to hurt yourself in the past or thinking about it and having him evaluate you for depression. A simple pill can change a person’s life for the better quite a bit. I was against taking pills until I read a book with stories of people on an anti-depressant and their lives were better than mine could ever hope to me. So that made me choose to agree to take medications. The first time a couselor mentioned meds to me I stopped seeing him and didn’t go back to see anyone for 2 years, until after I read this book. It is NOT a moral issue. Anyomre than someone with diabetes taking insulin for diabetes.

But building a suport network will help you. There are also groups on this site you can join where people have similar issues and post about their good and bad experiences…it’s more focused with people who have common issues. Maybe checking them out might help.

Good luck and God Bless,
Bill
 
Bill_7154 said:
How old are you? Your siblings? your parents (roughly speakng)? Since your father is an alcoholic I will asume your are living in a disfuctional family. I did when I was young. You can look up disfunctional faimiles, alcoholic familes, and the various ‘roles’ that different people in the famly ‘play’ (it’s unconscious). I was the family scapegoat and it sounds like you are too. Being always blamed for the wrongs of others or havng anger focused on you when others are feeling bad.

I suggest you do a little reading on that topic to give yourself a little insight and perspective.

I use prayer as my primary means of being close to God. I ask him to remove all the negaive things from me and replace them with positive things Jesus would have be in me. I try to remember to pray whenever I’m having bad thoughts, even passing thoughts, or struggles of any kind. I also try to remember to pray in thanks when bad thoughs/feelings are liftend though prayer.

Do you attend Church? Confession and reconsiliation? Even if your sins are tiny this can be helpful. I also think it’s very important for you to find at least 1 adult who you can trust. You don’t need to share everything with them, but having a stable, calm, understandng adult in one’s life when they are growing up in a disfunctional family can be and is extremely valuable. I had this and lost it when I was 12. That, and every day since, was much worse than the abuse I suffered. Not having that person (or any calm, stable, rational, caring adult figure in my life) was far worse than the abuse I suffered. I went into a shell and went in deeper and deeper over the years.

I have since learned it is critical for someone growing up in a disfunctional family to have a caring adult in their life they can spend time with on a regular basis. It doesn’t even have to be centered around you discussing your problmes at all. Just the presense of a caring and trusting and loving adult to have contact with regularly is very valuable. I can’t stress this enough. Maybe a family member? A neighbor friends mother?

You could choose to go to a guidance counselor at school but they may take action on your family and I don’t know if you want this or not, how old you are, and how this might work out for the good or bad.

Build that relationsip with God. He is there for us 24/7, anxious to help us and listen to us, we only need to turn to him and ask for help. I used to pray for like 3 hours a day (broken up thorugh the day) and found it extremely helpful. I need to pray more, your post is reminding me of that.

This is my advice. Good Luck.

God Bless,
Bill
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I’m 18, my brother is 20 and my sister is 10. My parents are in their late 40’s. You mentioned being a scapegoat, that I am. I do get blamed for everything, even if it’s not my fault. My family is very dysfunctional, sometimes on and off. I don’t know of any adults that I can look to. It’s hard for me to trust anyone really.

I’m sorry you went through what you experienced, especially at such a young age. I am really going to pray hard for those who’ve gone through/ go through this, including myself, I’ve had enough you know? The only full trust I have right now is in God.

I have been told by my doctor that I most likely have depression, but my parents won’t stand for it because of the stigma, they think I’m just lazy. I’m very ambitious despite this depression, however not as ambitious as I could be. I’m trying to overcome it on my own. I won’t be able to get help without my parents being furious.

Confession is my first step towards being closer to God. Thank you so much for your reply, I feel a bit better knowing people out there take the time to read what I’m feeling and help me out. Thank you Bill.
 
Marie1234 said:
Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry. As I was reading your post do you know what I thought.
“This girl is a real-life Cinderella.”

You don’t deserve any of this. I know it’s hard and you want to please your parents. The more they hurt you , the more you probably want their approval. That’s usually how it is with abuse.

You need to tell yourself you are an amazing person and you are better than how your parents portray you as. And you won’t be under there roof forever, so this isn’t permanent. Look forward to the future and imagine yourself someday married with amazing children, or a career, or whatever it is you dream of. Focus on that and accept that you won’t be able to please everyone. Some people will never be pleased and will keep expecting more and more. Forget them. Try to make yourself the person you want to be. Of course be respectful of your parents by I would try to distance myself a bit from the abuse. Join some clubs, confide in some friends, talk to your priest. And always pray to God. He will strengthen and help you through this. Remember, people’s emotions and feeling can change on a daily basis, but God’s love your you is permanent and unconditional. So even when it feels like your parents don’t care, God does. Trust Him, He has a plan for you. Ask for His help.

Also, you sound very depressed. I think you need to talk to your school counselor and/or a priest immediately. They can help you through this. You don’t have to go through this alone. Please don’t hurt yourself.

God Bless you!

Please, never give up.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”
Matthew 7:7
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Thank you so much for the kind words. Being compared to a princess is the last thing I’d expect from anyone! I’m going to keep myself occupied with school, clubs like you said. I hope to make it out on my own one day. With Gods help. Thank you! I will indeed pray. I need the strength to carry on.
 
Rationalists said:
I’ve never been extremely close with God, and I feel selfish calling for him only when I’m in need. But I know I can’t overcome these rough times by myself. What can I do? Where do I start in order to build a relationship with him? I want to start over and I need help.
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You may not feel close to God, but God is close to you. He is close to those who suffer. He is with you in your suffering. He was with me in mine – I was a scapegoat daughter too.

It’s not selfish to call on Him in your need. He wants you to turn to him.

Your realizing that you cannot overcome this on your own is very good! This is an excellent place to start.

Do you have a Bible? Or could you read the Bible online? God is there in His Word – He looks at you and you look at Him. Read His Word and talk to Him about what you read and about your life.

Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta says that this is how God speaks to us in the Scriptures, He says, “You are precious to me. I love you.” She says to discover in the Scriptures that you are cherished.

Many of the psalms were written by people who were suffering and calling out to God in their need – people like you. The psalmists remember over and over God’s steadfast love for His people. God loves you too.

Psalm 62:9 – “Trust God at all times, my people! Pour out your hearts to God our refuge!”

God is your refuge too. Don’t be afraid to pour your heart out to Him. He will always listen.
 
Bill_7154 said:
Depression is a serious thing. I have PTSD and Depression and I take 5 different medications, all to help me get by in the world as an adult due to what happened ot me as a kid. My situation was extreme, not to diminish yours, just saying I don’t think you would ever need this level of treatment.

But there are medications that alter a person’s mood who is depressed to take away negative thoughts and feelings. Considering seeing a couselor or telling your doctor of your situation and if you feel depressed (if you tried to hurt yourself or have had thoughts of doing so these are classic signs). I still have passing suicidal thoughts even though I never attempted it and don’t think I ever will, it just comes with my illness, when I have bad days sometimes. I’m glad I take the medications I take but medications are not for everyone and an individual choice. But I don’t think it would hurt to talk to your doctor about you trying to hurt yourself in the past or thinking about it and having him evaluate you for depression. A simple pill can change a person’s life for the better quite a bit. I was against taking pills until I read a book with stories of people on an anti-depressant and their lives were better than mine could ever hope to me. So that made me choose to agree to take medications. The first time a couselor mentioned meds to me I stopped seeing him and didn’t go back to see anyone for 2 years, until after I read this book. It is NOT a moral issue. Anyomre than someone with diabetes taking insulin for diabetes.

But building a suport network will help you. There are also groups on this site you can join where people have similar issues and post about their good and bad experiences…it’s more focused with people who have common issues. Maybe checking them out might help.

Good luck and God Bless,
Bill
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Be careful though while you may need those meds there are alot of people who think they need them and it makes their situation worse because the doctors are very willing to write a prescription for anything the DEA won’t crack down on.

Jesus did not come here to bring peace but a sword. He came to set you against your parents. Continue to honor them and you are right for not wanting to hate them! But understand the problems and learn how wrong they are so you do not end up the same. Do not worry about pleasing anyone but the Lord. He is the only one who judges you! Do not try to please your parents but do definitely honor them and love them. As you get older though don’t worry so much about their judgment. The lord sees everything that happens and knows how you feel and what you think before you feel or think it yourself. His judgment is perfect and real. Your parents judgment is flawed and holds no real weight. It just makes your life harder for now. Remember that the Lord sees what your going through.

The devil will try to make you feel guilty for not having a good enough relationship with God btw. Remember the Parable of the Lost Sheep. It talks about that specifically. To paraphrase a shepard has 100 sheep 1 goes missing he leaves the 99 to find the 1 and rejoices more over the one he found than the 99 that never went astray(My paraphrasing make sure to read God’s actual word it holds actual power). And make sure the first thing you read is the Parable of the Sewn Seeds…two very important parables people tend to not mention enough.
 
Rationalists said:
I’m 18…

I have been told by my doctor that I most likely have depression, but my parents won’t stand for it because of the stigma, they think I’m just lazy. I’m very ambitious despite this depression, however not as ambitious as I could be. I’m trying to overcome it on my own. I won’t be able to get help without my parents being furious…
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Thankfully, you’re 18 so you don’t need your parent’s consent to visit a doctor. Is there any possible way you could find the financial means to pay for medication for depression?

If not, you could try to boost your serotonin levels through other means to counteract your depression, like get more exercise, get an adequate amount of sleep (at least 8 hours), try to cut down on sugar and caffeine, take fish oil supplements (sounds gross but it can help) and other vitamins, eat more protein, and think positive thoughts. 😃
 
You know that you have a couple of things going for you that I wished I had when I was 18. You seem to have your self-esteem pretty much intact, you seem to believe in yourself despite the putdowns. I grew up with an alcoholic father as well, he was a dry well as far as security, confirmation, affirmation, approval, genuine interest in anything beside himself, he was also a tyrant and a bully and prone to anger and rage, all the while being (and considering himself) a reputable, upstanding Catholic. Add adhd, maturity issues, shame issues, crippling sense of inferiority, an absolute fear and dread of the future, shyness and i was a walking mental wreck back then. You do have friends and that’s good too. I hate to admit it because I was put through hell because of it, but my father probably did the best he could (he had a messed up childhood himself). I’ll let God deal with him. I’m not saying you do, but absolutely refuse to harbor any kind of hate, resentment, bitterness, that will weigh heavily on your soul, not on theirs. This is coming from someone who wished his father would die from a fairly young age. I don’t like to stir up all these things as it makes me sad but wanted to give you my insight and hopefully a little ray of hope. God is in the business of helping people (among other things), don’t be ashamed to ask for his help which I’m sure he’ll gladly offer. If you saw me now compared to the fall of 1997 you wouldn’t think we’re the same person. I don’t think I could have contained more hate, rage and bitterness. Believe in yourself and trust in God.
 
First and foremost, PLEASE don’t hurt yourself!!! Second of all, i understand what it’s like to feel as if there’s no point in going on. I understand that hopeless feeling, more so than i care to admit. I’ve been there, some things that happened in my life definitely had something to do with it. Even as horribly as the people responsible for those things that happened treated me, i wanted their approval, and i wanted them to like me. Abusers are like that, they know what makes a person tick and they use it against them. It’s shameful and despicable how some people can treat others so badly, least of all little children.

Lastly, i also hope you’re able to recognize and set aside the baggage that came from your mom and dad, and not let it stay with you as yours. If you want someone to talk to, i’m never more than a PM away. 🙂
 
I am an 18 year old.I have a comfortable living situation, as my family is very nice and loves me a lot. My grades are okay, and I am in community college. I tried overdosing once this year on pills, drinking myself to death, and I thought about cutting myself, drinking paint, hanging myself, running in front of a car, and I even ran from my college to a close Forrest preserve to kill myself nine days ago. I have survived all of this. I don’t have popularity. I have never had a girlfriend. I have anti gay thoughts because Leviticus claims it as wrong. If their love is against God’s will, why should a regular straight guy like me be lonely forever? I am personally okay with gays. This society also pisses me off when instead of killing Jerry Sandusky, outlawing abortion, respecting the poor, and respecting decent Americans like me, we go backwards. This country loves marijuana more than Jesus. Next thing you know these hippies can smoke it indoors. Whatever happened to cigarettes. Those are good and legal. They would still outlaw it before weed. Well I vented. God Bless You and Your’s!
 
I want the love of a woman. There was a sweet girl in my English class. I thought Christ made her so beautiful that she was His daughter. Everyone else treated me poorly, but she liked me. She thought I was smart, interesting, and nice. She was a lesbian, but I still loved her. To this day I wish we were soulmates. I know God loves her deeply, and inside her heart she is a sweet, Christian girl. I would give my life for her if she was sick and dying. I always hoped she was straight, not to offend anyone. In college, I wish for death and to make up my shortcomings later, as I want to leave Earth for Heaven. I don’t know if any girl loves me, and I can barely talk to other guys. Please pray for my immediate and merciful intervention before I try something or die lonely.
 
Pornography is evil. I need to stop, but I don’t see a point when U’m so alone.
 
Breezy if your serious please understand that your situation is not hopeless. I lost one friend, the best I ever had, to murder, another drowned, and another committed suicide. This is all in the last few years. I can tell you with certainty I am only really worried about one soul on that list and that is the suicide.

The war between satan and our Lord is real and it is happening around you and in you right now. The enemy, satan, has a goal. It is to make you kill yourself if at all possible. This is the one thing that will pain your true father the most. If pain is what you want your father to feel that is your free will. Be clear though, HE DOES NOT WANT YOU TO FEEL THE PAIN YOU FEEL. Things are more complex than people allow you to believe.

The reason evil is allowed to continue in the world is because our Lord and our Father are trying to preserve as much good as possible. To uproot the evil would be to uproot the good along with it. Our Lord told us in a parable. You should read the gospel it will explain everything. Make sure to understand it or you give the same one who brought you to the brink of suicide a victory and that is satan (God told us this not me).

You are lost. God’s word is that if we are lost he will rejoice more when we are found than if we had never gone astray at all.

He sees your struggles.

If you continue to fight this is your future:
Your Lord, the Son of God, will save you and really deliver you from evil.
I know this because he loves you and he saved me when the devil was on my back.
You will have eternal life with him and you will never suffer again after you are brought to life after death.
To obtain this you HAVE to get to know the Son of God. You have time left. Eternal life in Heaven is waiting. All you have to do is accept the help.

If you do not continue to fight and allow the enemy of God and the enemy of the Son of God to have this particular victory … best case is your inheritance is in real jeopardy. Worst case is eternal seperation from God and eternal suffering. It is written that you will do anything just for 1 drop of water where you could end up. Do you have water?
 
Rationalists said:
I’m 18, my brother is 20 and my sister is 10. My parents are in their late 40’s. You mentioned being a scapegoat, that I am. I do get blamed for everything, even if it’s not my fault. My family is very dysfunctional, sometimes on and off. I don’t know of any adults that I can look to. It’s hard for me to trust anyone really.

I’m sorry you went through what you experienced, especially at such a young age. I am really going to pray hard for those who’ve gone through/ go through this, including myself, I’ve had enough you know? The only full trust I have right now is in God.

I have been told by my doctor that I most likely have depression, but my parents won’t stand for it because of the stigma, they think I’m just lazy. I’m very ambitious despite this depression, however not as ambitious as I could be. I’m trying to overcome it on my own. I won’t be able to get help without my parents being furious.

Confession is my first step towards being closer to God. Thank you so much for your reply, I feel a bit better knowing people out there take the time to read what I’m feeling and help me out. Thank you Bill.
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Rationalists,
We all have our crosses to bear. I’ve mostly dealt with mind so find pleasure and value in trying to help tohers with theirs. It’s one of the ways I rationalize/make sense out of my childhood… it provided me with a unique insight into very disfunctional families and the suffering of those who grow up in them. So in a way I consider it a blessing, even though I still have more than my share of struggles.

And I totally understand about not trusting anyone, I was the exact same way. It took time. And more time.

Your 18, so your a legal adult. What do you mean they ‘won’t stand for’ you being depressed? If you had a brokent leg would they ‘not stand for it’? (meant to be a retorical question). I assume you live at home and are on your parents health insurance so they know everything that goes on with your medical care? Is there a way for you to see a doctor as a legal adult and tell him/her you don’t consent to have your parents informed about your treatment? If you have a health insurnance card I think it’s legistically possible, but maybe not practically possible due to you living with them and having control over you as a result. But it might be worth thinking about and possibly talking to your doctor or a nurse about. Just a thought.

Continue to pray. And pray that your parents open their hearts and minds to how their behavior is impacting you and that they undergo a change to make your life less difficult. And pray for yourself.

Again, keep in mind, and maybe pray that God will put an adult in your life you can trust and respect. It doesnt have to be a ‘theraputic’ relationship, just one where the person is calm and stable and caring and listens to you and provides you with respect.

I will pray for you. Do you have any plans to move out of their house anytime within the next few years? Is this a possibility? Living in a disfunctional family as a scapegoat is a nightmare. I don’t want to see you put yourself at risk, but if moving and going off to college or sharing and apartment with a few friends at some point down the road is a potential option this might be something you want to start thinking about as well.

God is always there for you, always listening as you pray to him. I encourage you to pray often, at least it helped me.

God Bless,
Bill
 
Dear Rationalists and Breezy,
First of all :console:
Hang in there my young friends! I’ve been in that dark place where you are, but with the amazing love of God and help from some good people, I pulled through.
Code: 
 It's good for you to reach out to people, even if it's on the internet. Depression and mistreatment can make you feel so alone, and reaching out to others can help you remember that you really aren't alone, and that there are good people out there who care about you.

It's important, though, to be able to talk to someone in person: a therapist, a doctor, a priest/pastor, a youth minister, a caring teacher or coach, etc. They can help you in a more direct way than we can. If you're feeling really down or having thoughts of harming yourself, don't hesitate to seek help right away. Even if that means calling a crisis hotline or even going to the Emergency Room at a hospital, don't face it alone.

Please pray as much as you can. Jesus knows what it is like to be a scapegoat and to be rejected; he experienced them during His passion and death. He can provide the peace the world cannot give. And he can provide it here on Earth!
As much as you can, spend time with positive, encouraging people, whether through church, volunteering, clubs, etc.
 
 Also, in my really dark times, I had little phrases I repeated to myself, like "This, too, shall pass" and "suicide is a *permanent* solution to a *temporary* problem." They'd help get me through the really tough moments.
Finally, know that you are wonderful in God’s eyes, and nothing anyone says or does can take away your worth. You’ll be in my prayers! :hug1:
 
Also I know what it feels like to be depressed, carrying a cloak of heaviness, feeling like a chilly, windy, dreary, overcast November day. To lift the heaviness, you have friends’ warmth and comfort, prayer, sacraments, and last but not least humor. You may start here youtube.com/watch?v=CumIj-NH5RA
 
Rationalists said:
I’m 18, my brother is 20 and my sister is 10. My parents are in their late 40’s. You mentioned being a scapegoat, that I am. I do get blamed for everything, even if it’s not my fault. My family is very dysfunctional, sometimes on and off. I don’t know of any adults that I can look to. It’s hard for me to trust anyone really.

I’m sorry you went through what you experienced, especially at such a young age. I am really going to pray hard for those who’ve gone through/ go through this, including myself, I’ve had enough you know? The only full trust I have right now is in God.

I have been told by my doctor that I most likely have depression, but my parents won’t stand for it because of the stigma, they think I’m just lazy. I’m very ambitious despite this depression, however not as ambitious as I could be. I’m trying to overcome it on my own. I won’t be able to get help without my parents being furious.

Confession is my first step towards being closer to God. Thank you so much for your reply, I feel a bit better knowing people out there take the time to read what I’m feeling and help me out. Thank you Bill.
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Get to an Al-Anon meeting. Your father’s alcoholism has affected everyone in your family. You will find support and understanding in Al-Anon. Try a few groups, they each have a somewhat different character, but all are based on the 12 steps and all will give you the same love and support. And since you are just 18, you might try Alateen since that is for younger people, but warning that there aren’t as many Alateen meetings as there are Al-Anon meetings, so bear that in mind.

Al-Anon/Alateen

You might find that once you realize that your father’s problems are not your problems (you didn’t cause it, you can’t change it and you can’t cure it) your depression will lift a bit.

Just try it.
 
I can remember living since I was at least three. (Still, you know what they say when you think you can remember being a few weeks old.) Those are funny stories to tell. Anyway, my life started off normally. I enjoyed watching The Puzzle Place, Arthur, Dragon Tales, The Berenstain Bears, Winnie the Pooh, Spongebob, The Fairly Oddparents, The Angry Beavers, Jimmy Neutron, Invader Zim, CatDog, Rocket Power, and all the cartoons from the 1990s, and some maybe before. I always saw my grandparents when my mom would drop me off at their house, because she was working. I became so close to both of them, especially my grandpa. We caught our first fish together when I was six, and at his cottage in peaceful Wisconsin, I enjoyed some of my best memories. I was especially close to my cousin, too. Now, she is almost 19, about five months older than me. Our relationship has gone, but I have gotten closer to the rest of my family, like my dad and little brother. Preschool was usually enjoyable, and it is there that I have ever had a non-family member that is a girl that I can say I was friends with. Kindergarten was bad, but I forgot that, except that I bit a girl twice. In Special Education class in first grade, I made enough friends, usually to see on my birthday. Life was good, until I hit fourth grade.
 
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