Feeling like a failure to my kids

  • Thread starter Thread starter julikat73
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
J

julikat73

Guest
I am in need of prayers.I feel like a failure as a mother.I have been very sick this past year and due to have more surgeries soon.My kids have been here all along helping me far beyond what any kids should have to.I have been unable to work due to this and we are struggling I do not know where where the rent is coming from next month and to make matters worse Christmas is in a few days and I have nothing to give my children They are teens noone wants to help teens.I am so depressed.They have been through so much with me this year and without their help I would not have made it it thru and would not have wanted to.They are my heart, my spirit and my strength. It breaks my heart that after everything that I cannot give them the Christmas they so much need and deserve.I feel so depressed and sad as they get excited about Christmas because I know that I can do nothing.I need prayers so badly because this is killing me inside because they deserve better than this especially after all the sacrifices they have had to pass on this year due to my health and lack to me being able to drive and no money ect.I feel I have let them down in such a huge way. julikat73@yahoo.com
 
It was good for your children to help you so much during your trying time. Do not feel guilty for not having any money. Your gratitude and love for them is your gift to them. Be at peace, and they will be at peace. They are old enough to understand that if there is not enough money there will not be certain “things” to have.

God bless you and your family!
 
Dear Julikat,

You are new here and I wish to welcome you. My heart goes out to you. I know how you feel. It is natural for moms to feel this kind of pain because we want so much for our children that when we cannot provide it turns into guilt. Please, do not allow yourself to feel guilty. If there is one lesson I learned it is that your children only want to see you happy and healthy. We always think that the more we give them the more they will be happier; this is true only when it concerns love. Surely, they would love to have the latest trendy stuff but when they see their mom suffering the only thing that they can hope for is health. Give them your laughter and love; find things to do that don’t cost much or anything at all like strolling through the park and sight seeing or renting a movie. Go to your local parish and tell them that you are in dire need. I know that my church helped alot of families with teenage children. We provided groceries and gifts for the teenagers and young children. Someone is bound to help. Do you have any family members that can be of help?

Hope this helps for now. May God Bless you.
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Well, I disagree about your needing to feel like a failure. And I know that serious illness can change personality. My Mom, rest her soul, suffered from debilitating illnesses most of her life.

It need not be a bad thing. It just is.

I think it’s safe to say, that we learn virtues by “working” them into our lives. Virtues may be “theological” but we don’t understand them unless we physically handle them and place then into our lives.

Illness in a family can be a wonderful way to teach virtue. Children learn to be servants, (not little princes and princesses). They will work for and achieve instead of being handed to and given.

Your children will learn early to be capable adults, how to sacrifice for the common good of the family, how to cook, clean, do laundry, how to work together on projects, how to appreciate one another’s inner gifts, how to share love and faith in God.

Commercial “gifts” break, rust, and eventually fail to satisfy.

Are you receiving state & federal unemployment, food stamps, etc. Can your parish provide you with emergency funds? Have you made those contacts?
 
Christmas comes from the heart, not from the store. Although we tend to think at first that it’s not Christmas unless we can go shopping, the truth is, that’s not true! Give your children a gift from your heart. Write them each a letter, rolled up and tied with a ribbon or wrapped in a box. In the letter, let them know how much you love them. Write about some moments through their growing up years, such as funny anectdotes, or times when they accomplished something that meant something to them, or family traditions, or tender memories, that you have of each one. Tell each one that you love them and are proud of them. Thank them for all they are doing for you during this difficult time. And reassure them that faith in God and love of family gives us strength to deal with our difficulties. And give them a big hug. And a kiss.
 
Praying that you and your children will have a blessed Christmas together at the Holy Mass and around the dinner table. Maybe this year you could all pray a rosary together after you eat your meal together or whenever you normally would exchange gifts. May your children understand that Christmas is all about Jesus and sharing in his birth together as a family. Amen.
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
**julikat:

I completely understand how you feel. I, too, have been sick for years and have two children. One 18 the other 21. They truly are my lifeline. Somehow, the kids have learned to cope with the illnesses. It hasn’t been easy. Some days they can’t cope. But **I know that Our Lord has them in his hands. Some things are just beyond human control. As for Christmas presents: I’d say that your being alive and with the kids is a huge gift to them! Hang in there and I will keep praying for you.

Blessings,
Judi
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Hail Mary, full of grace.
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
Thank you so much for your prayers. One problem I do have is I moved here literally weeks before I became so bad off that I became unable to drive leave my house ect so I do not have a church, no friends, no family, no support system ect. I tried reaching out and a local church did at first bring some food by and I have tried to contact them for help but they have not returned any of my calls for help. I even spoke directly to the woman that was the person that came to my house before to please bring my needs to the church but she has not gotton back to me as well except via one text saying shes busy. I feel that my illness was just too much and due to the fact I’ve ben so sick and never was able to come to the church that they gave up on me although I tried hard to be in contact ect and keep them in involved. She I thought was my friend my only friend that I had made but then she too was gone. I feel so so alone and sick and depressed…and so so alone in all of this
 
julikat73 said:
Thank you so much for your prayers. One problem I do have is I moved here literally weeks before I became so bad off that I became unable to drive leave my house ect so I do not have a church, no friends, no family, no support system ect. I tried reaching out and a local church did at first bring some food by and I have tried to contact them for help but they have not returned any of my calls for help. I even spoke directly to the woman that was the person that came to my house before to please bring my needs to the church but she has not gotton back to me as well except via one text saying shes busy. I feel that my illness was just too much and due to the fact I’ve ben so sick and never was able to come to the church that they gave up on me although I tried hard to be in contact ect and keep them in involved. She I thought was my friend my only friend that I had made but then she too was gone. I feel so so alone and sick and depressed…and so so alone in all of this
Click to expand...
I am so sorry to hear that you appear to be unsupported.Has the priest visited you at home and brought you Holy Communion or given you the sacrament pf Reconciliation? If not give your priest a ring and ask him to visit you to do these things.Afterwards you can tell him about your predicament and hopefully there will be ministries within the parish that can help you on a regular basis.In our parish St.Vincent de Paul is very active giving lifts to people to attend Mass and taking them shopping etc.There may be a fund of money that could be availbale to assist you or help you get the benefits you are entitiled to receive. In any case you remain in our prayers and please keep us updated.May God bless you and guide you
 
I will pray that your situation gets better soon, trust in the Lord for all good things come from him.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen. :signofcross:
 
Praying my heart out for you and your kids. They are fortunate to have such a loving mother as you. Christmas is much more than gifts. Your love for them, I’m sure means very much to them. Will keep praying for you and your children and pray for your health to improve greatly and for you to find good friends.
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
PATER NOSTER,
qui es in caelis,
sanctificetur nomen tuum.
Adveniat regnum tuum.
Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra.
Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie,
et dimitte nobis debita nostra
sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris.
Et ne nos inducas in tentationem,
sed libera nos a malo. Amen.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top