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xAlisonx
Guest
i feel that we become holy through prayer, sacrifice, suffering and devoting ourselves completely to God. since you want to pray more, that definitely will lead you further along the path to holiness. as for sacrifice, the more we offer our daily lives up to God for His glory, i feel that the more He can use us, and the more He will purify us and bring us closer to Himself. the fact that God has given you many crosses shows that He is working in your life, and that He is working to purify you of your sin and sanctify your soul. God knows what He is doing with you—He loves you so much, and won’t let you perish! if you feel that there is something within you keeping you from holiness, i would suggest praying to God to reveal it, and then for His help to remove it. prayer is so incredibly powerful, and please remember that nothing is impossible with God. i feel that God turns sinners to Saints purely through the miracle of His Love and grace, just as He saved me from brokenness, darkness and mortal sin and brought me to light, love and life. i absolutely love the quote in **John Russell Jr’s **signature: Saints are just sinners who keep trying. i think that’s so true. maybe you might want to read this article on Catholic Online that talks about advancing in holiness through following Mary’s example: catholic.org/featured/headline.php?ID=142. overall, you have to remember that just as the Saints didn’t become holy overnight, neither will we. it’s a long, painful process that will take time, but in the end it will be worth it.
i completely trust that God is working in your life to bring you to sanctity, so my advice to you is that while you do devote yourself completely to God and grow closer to Him through prayer, etc., you also lay aside your worries and anxiety and just throw yourself into His Loving arms, trusting that He will take care of you and bring you to Himself. 
monica, you most likely feel too weak to resist sin when you focus on yourself instead of on Christ within you. we are all definitely too weak in ourselves to resist sin, but when we focus on Jesus’ life and love within us, we find the strength to overcome our weaknesses and become all that He wants and calls us to be. that’s great that you’re having thoughts of having a religious vocation—sometimes the thought occurs to me as well, though at this point it’s rather fleeting. please don’t feel that you’re unworthy when you are so deeply loved and cherished by God, and when you have so much beauty and life within you. especially, please don’t feel unworthy because of your past—we have all done horrible things, some of us even while we were Christians, but we know that we have God’s forgiveness and love to restore us and sustain us, and keep us from falling again. monica, before i converted back to Christianity on november 22, 2007, i did horrible things to myself and to others. from the ages of twelve to fifteen, i struggled with a variety of mental disorders as well as homosexuality, cut myself, starved myself and hurt everyone around me who tried to help me. i turned completely away from God and fell into darkness and mortal sin, my darkest point being my suicide attempt on march 28, 2007, that only didn’t kill me because God literally intervened with a miracle to preserve my life. i am slowly but surely learning how to move on from all that i’ve done, and not only to accept God’s forgiveness that i know i’ve received through Confession, but to forgive myself. i hope and pray, monica, that you will find the strength to do the same.
if you have confessed all of these sins, then know that you are completely forgiven—and did you know that God doesn’t only love us before we sin and after we sin, but while we are doing it? did you know that even when He is driven from a soul by mortal sin, He keeps our guardian angel very close to us? you have never been alone, abandoned or forgotten, even in the depths of your sins, and you are far from alone now. i don’t think of you as a hopeless sinner, but as a very beautiful, compassionate person who simply has some weaknesses and failures, just like the rest of us. but God will help you and bring you closer to Himself, if you only ask Him for His help. please don’t let your past or your present sins hold you back—Satan wants you to feel unworthy. Jesus tells you that He loves you and forgives you and wants to set you free so that you can live the abundant life He died to bring to you.
I feel the same way as you!
