Feeling like a terrible mom

Status
Not open for further replies.
From my point of view as a 19 year old non-parent (Yup. I’m just that credible), I think the capacity to forgive of a 6 year old is so much higher than that of an adult. You should feel blessed that a kid asks for very little in return for his forgiveness! Take this gift and go the extra mile to prove that you meant it even though he didn’t ask you to!

Believe it or not, I remember when my mom occasionally apologized to me when I was a kid. I though it was so amazing, because I was usually the one to apologize. I was typically so in awe of the fact that my mom, such an amazing person who seemingly knew everything, would apologize to me. I felt honored and forgave her instantly. Interestingly, I remember my mom apologizing, but not what she did… there’s a message here.
 
Last edited:
My goodness. You sound like a wonderful mother. The fact you are able to reflect on your own behaviour, apologise and explain your reaction is unfortunately better than most people do.

Assuming this is not a common reaction from you I would completely let it go. Children learn how to recover from mistakes by watching their parents conflict resolution.

Peace
 
I’ve been in the same place you are. My son is 12 now 👶 → 👨‍🎓 I agree, children can be VERY forgiving.

Sounds like you’re doing fine.
 
Oh, we’ve all been there. My 7 year old is in speach therapy and so when I don’t understand him and he and I are frustrated this type of thing happens. He is so loving and forgiving. The important thing is that you take that feeling and use it to change and be a better parent. that is what we all should do.
 
I’ve lost my temper many times with my children.

You’re a good mother. You know why? You’re sensitive to you’re son’s emotional needs.

My mom used to yell at me. All the time. She never said she was sorry.

I’ve yelled and lost my temper. At least I can apologize when I do it.
 
In your mom’s defense, there was a time when child psychologists and other experts taught that you should never apologize to your child because it makes you appear weak and that undermines your authority. I imagine most parents have always just done their best to be the best parents they can be.

ETA: I do not agree with those experts. I think apologizing is important
 
Last edited:
My mom never studied child psychology. 😉
My dad would apologize. In fact there was an incident where I was punished sternly for something I was innocent of. My cousin was the guilty party. He apologized.
 
At least you did not beat him with a belt . I remember when I was around ten my mother was in one of her moods and we went out to see my cousins. She wanted me to just sit and not play with my Catholic cousins well after a while she said we were leaving and that I was going to get it when I got home. She said I am going beat ya and beat ya well when we got to home she beat me with a leather belt and did not stop until the belt broke. The leather part broke in half I was raised in the pentecostal church of god and even when I became an adult my mother wanted to control everything I did she did apologize later on that night but after that I was never close to her. My mother was always trying to show off that she was a parent that disciplined me and that she made sure that I obeyed her and did her best to make sure that I was not influenced by my Catholic cousins. The thing is that we were just playing tag while my mom dad aunt and uncle were sitting in the back yard and weren’t even in the way. My cousins Catholic mother even suggested they all go inside if it was bothering my mom so much but she wanted me to come inside also when I complained that is when she cut the visit short. My skin where I got the belt beating was black and did not go away for over a year. My mother is passed but I really don’t miss her. I saw my aunt recently and she said that my mother had control issues and that there were times that she just needed to let me be myself.
 
Last edited:
Sorry if I offended you but it sounds like you are really doing a good job as a mommy.
 
Thank you for your kind words. I’m not offended, but this thread is more than a month old, the incident I posted about is passed, and I really don’t want it to turn into a discussion about beating children with belts. I wish the parenting topics closed after two weeks just like all the others. I’m so sorry your mother treated you this way when you were a child. It is in no way justifiable, and I pray God gives you the healing you need. God bless.
 
Last edited:
Thank you. Hey you should go to you tube and type in painting Barbie blue as a mommy you will laugh at the little girls explanation and also see how well her daddy handles it. There was once a saying that children should be seen and not heard. That is totally wrong. Children should be seen and they definitely should be heard.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top