M
mrajax
Guest
In the past few years I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching and I found out just how immature I am when compared to my friends. One of them has already worked on a video game, many of them are really fit, have a job, doing well in school, gone through life experiences and met many people etc… whilst I’ve been mostly locked out of the loop so to speak.
If one read my previous threads you’d know all my problems; lack of friends, social awkwardness, having an emotionally abusive mother, a sexually abusive past, etc… when I look at myself I become confused and sad at how I brought myself so low and I agree with people, why would anyone want to be my friend?
I’m trying to remedy this by getting a job in the summer and doing some other long term pet projects and also fixing some of my social awkwardness but I just don’t see anything of worth inside me right now. I used to think I was ‘weird’ in a good way, that my passion for writing and storytelling and fiction were unique to me and a healthy pursuit but now, after realizing my own inexperience, my own innefficiency and the way people look at me. But right now I just don’t know what to do. I’m practically venting here but honestly, what’s my next move? What should I do?
If one read my previous threads you’d know all my problems; lack of friends, social awkwardness, having an emotionally abusive mother, a sexually abusive past, etc… when I look at myself I become confused and sad at how I brought myself so low and I agree with people, why would anyone want to be my friend?
I’m trying to remedy this by getting a job in the summer and doing some other long term pet projects and also fixing some of my social awkwardness but I just don’t see anything of worth inside me right now. I used to think I was ‘weird’ in a good way, that my passion for writing and storytelling and fiction were unique to me and a healthy pursuit but now, after realizing my own inexperience, my own innefficiency and the way people look at me. But right now I just don’t know what to do. I’m practically venting here but honestly, what’s my next move? What should I do?