Feeling like I'm losing my faith, when it should be gaining

[ellam25]

So for lent I decided to only read catholic books on the faith. I started with true devotion to Mary and let me tell you it has been somewhat of a struggle. When I got to the part where it says if you want heaven you must hate your own life (which is also in the Bible I know) it just reminded me how completely useless our lives are. It also made me think back on the bible verse stating that good works are like rags in the Lord’s eyes. Both of these things have sent my mind into a pessimistic journey where I am wondering what the point is for trying so hard for salvation when we are lower than animals no matter what we do (something stated in true devotion). Like why should I waste my time doing anything good if God doesn’t care?

 

[Tablefor9]

Be encouraged. God is not about condemning people who are trying to please Him. We don’t and things out of context like that and build destruction around them. When Jesus tells us we must “hate our own life”, it doesn’t contradict “loving your neighbor as yourself” (which means you must have a healthy self-love). It means that we must love God so much that love for ourself looks like hate. We must esteem His will as so much better than ours.

Likewise, when we are told that our “own righteousness is as filthy rags”, what is meant is that we must have the grace and Spirit to help us do righteous works for right reasons; we are not initially saved by our own works, but by God’s grace through faith. Grace and Spirit then help us to do works God has prepared for us as our worshipful living that honors Him, and brings about our sanctification (Saint-making–this is how Jesus is formed in us).

It’s a noble thing to read only spiritual works for Lent. I would encourage you to read some lighter, but still spiritual, fare along with the harder to understand or more nuanced classics. Scott Hahn, Brant Pitre, Matthew Kelly. Also, get a Catholic Bible with commentary–Ignatius or Navarre, if you don’t already have one. This can help clear up those seemingly contradictory areas.

 

[Joe_5859]

So for lent I decided to only read catholic books on the faith. I started with true devotion to Mary and let me tell you it has been somewhat of a struggle. When I got to the part where it says if you want heaven you must hate your own life (which is also in the Bible I know) it just reminded me how completely useless our lives are. It also made me think back on the bible verse stating that good works are like rags in the Lord’s eyes. Both of these things have sent my mind into a pessimistic journey where I am wondering what the point is for trying so hard for salvation when we are lower than animals no matter what we do (something stated in true devotion). Like why should I waste my time doing anything good if God doesn’t care?

St. Louis DeMontfort isn’t for everyone. Indeed, the way that he writes can strike our modern sensibilities quite strangely.

Our good deeds being as “filthy rags” or “polluted garments” doesn’t mean our good deeds are useless. The adjective is important there. It’s a commentary on the fact that we seldom do even good deeds with an absolutely pure motive (i.e. for love of God alone). But that doesn’t make them pointless and it doesn’t mean that God doesn’t care.

If reading “True Devotion” is leading you down this pessimistic path, I would suggest reading something else for your spiritual Lenten reading. Try Fr. Michael Gaitley’s “33 Days to Morning Glory.” It’s like True Devotion to Mary, but written in a way that more easily resonates with most of us today.

 

[tawny]

Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength, fortitude & wisdom in your time of need.

 

[ellam25]

St. Louis DeMontfort isn’t for everyone. Indeed, the way that he writes can strike our modern sensibilities quite strangely.

Our good deeds being as “filthy rags” or “polluted garments” doesn’t mean our good deeds are useless. The adjective is important there. It’s a commentary on the fact that we seldom do even good deeds with an absolutely pure motive (i.e. for love of God alone). But that doesn’t make them pointless and it doesn’t mean that God doesn’t care.

If reading “True Devotion” is leading you down this pessimistic path, I would suggest reading something else for your spiritual Lenten reading. Try Fr. Michael Gaitley’s “33 Days to Morning Glory.” It’s like True Devotion to Mary, but written in a way that more easily resonates with most of us today.

Thank you for the suggestions. I don’t like thinking I don’t have a backbone, but I have had issues in the past with anxiety over feeling like I am doing everything wrong as far as salvation goes so reading true devotions just seemed to open it up again. But yeah I think you’re right, some of the stuff is pretty tough, like military Sargent tough. Sometimes I just feel like I am too frail for it unfortunately though I wish I wasn’t.

 

[nuntym]

+JMJ+

Yep, St. Louis de Montfort’s writings are quite hard to understand. You should probably start with Self-Esteem Without Selfishness: Increasing Our Capacity for Love by Fr. Michel Esparza.

This is probably the most life changing book I have ever read, because it teaches you how to love God as you are now.

As the author quoted from another work, this is what God wants to tell us:

I know your wretchedness, the struggles and tribulations of your soul and the weakness of your sickly body; I know your cowardice, your sins, your dejection, and yet I tell you “Give me your heart, love me just as you are!” If you wait to be an angel before abandoning yourself and giving yourself to Love, you’ll never love me.

 

[Pythagoras]

So for lent I decided to only read catholic books on the faith. I started with true devotion to Mary and let me tell you it has been somewhat of a struggle. When I got to the part where it says if you want heaven you must hate your own life (which is also in the Bible I know) it just reminded me how completely useless our lives are. It also made me think back on the bible verse stating that good works are like rags in the Lord’s eyes. Both of these things have sent my mind into a pessimistic journey where I am wondering what the point is for trying so hard for salvation when we are lower than animals no matter what we do (something stated in true devotion). Like why should I waste my time doing anything good if God doesn’t care?

Don’t you think you are daily attack by the devil so as not to go on with your Total Consecration? St. Louis de Montfort said that the readers of his book will be under attack from the devil himself…

 

[Joe_5859]

Thank you for the suggestions. I don’t like thinking I don’t have a backbone, but I have had issues in the past with anxiety over feeling like I am doing everything wrong as far as salvation goes so reading true devotions just seemed to open it up again. But yeah I think you’re right, some of the stuff is pretty tough, like military Sargent tough. Sometimes I just feel like I am too frail for it unfortunately though I wish I wasn’t.

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. If St. Paul felt that way, I imagine the rest of us shouldn’t be too surprised to experience that, too.

The devil likes to discourage us so that we toss up our hands, say, “Why bother?,” and then give up. It’s not always easy to keep persevering in prayer, but we do our best to keep plugging away. Hang in there.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

We need to be aware that the writers of the past like St. Louis de Montfort, wrote from the context they lived in, and it isn’t necessarily correct for us today.

The 17th Church taught people that they were to suffer to be able to make it into heaven and few do so.

They lived lives of despair more than of hope and wrote in this vain.

The 20th Century we got the message from Jesus on his Divine Mercy, and this message contradicts the messages of other private revelations from the past.

Our past two Pope’s along with Pope Francis, teach about God’s love and mercy for us all.

This is the context we’re living in today, because its how God has been revealing himself to us today.

Don’t get caught up in self-hatred, which is of the evil one.

God loves you, as he loves all of his children.

We should in turn, love all that God loves.

Jim

 

[Techno2000]

Thank you for the suggestions. I don’t like thinking I don’t have a backbone, but I have had issues in the past with anxiety over feeling like I am doing everything wrong as far as salvation goes so reading true devotions just seemed to open it up again. But yeah I think you’re right, some of the stuff is pretty tough, like military Sargent tough. Sometimes I just feel like I am too frail for it unfortunately though I wish I wasn’t.

You can never go wrong if you say the Rosary…

Our Lady has 117 titles. She selected this title at Fatima:
“I am the Lady of the Rosary”.

St. Francis de Sales said the greatest method of praying
IS - Pray the Rosary.

St. Thomas Aquinas preached 40 straight days in Rome,
Italy on just the Hail Mary.

St. John Vianney, patron of priests, was seldom seen without a rosary in his hand.

“The rosary is the scourge of the devil” - Pope Adrian VI.

“The rosary is a treasure of graces” - Pope Paul V.

Padre Pio the stigmatic priest said: “The rosary is THE WEAPON”

Pope Leo XIII wrote 9 encyclicals on the rosary.

Pope John XXIII spoke 38 times about our Lady and the Rosary. He prayed 15 decades daily.

St. Louis Marie Grignion de Montfort wrote:
“The rosary is the most powerful weapon to touch the
Heart of Jesus, Our Redeemer, who so loves His Mother.”

brizek.com/prayer/pieta.htm#rosaryscapular

 

[littlestsouls2]

Like why should I waste my time doing anything good if God doesn’t care?

‘True Devotion to Mary’ is a difficult read at first - at least, for many. It needs to be read and re-read. It is one of my favourite books, even though I found it very difficult and even confusing at first.

Our acts are imperfect, but imperfections do not displease God, unless we love them. That is what Our Lord told Sr. Benigna Consolata. Also, Our Lord commanded Sr. Consolata Betrone not to dwell on her involuntary imperfections. Rev. Garrigou-Lagrange would certainly agree. The same rule applies to us.

Moving beyond imperfections, it is important to know that venial sins do not separate us from God; He still looks at us with infinite love, as members of His Mystical Body, as His beloved children, bathed in the Precious Blood of His Divine Son. Every good act we perform is far more pleasing to God than our sins are displeasing because our good acts are the fruit of the Passion and the shedding of the Precious Blood. Ven. Mother Mary Potter reminds us that "*God views our good actions as the fruit of the Passion of His Beloved Son; and thus it is that a good action is more pleasing, necessarily so, to Him than a bad action is displeasing.” *

God is extremely pleased with the good we do. If you doubt this, read St. Gertrude and ‘The Way of Divine Love.’

“My dove, I supply all the defects of thy love by My love, its littleness by the love of the Heart of Jesus, its weakness by My all–powerful goodness; in short, the Heart of Jesus and thine, Benigne, are united.”
– Jesus to Servant of God Sister Jeanne Benigne Gojos

Pax!