Feeling little peace

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EmeraldOne

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Hello folks,

I hope this is an acceptable place to put this. I’m having an issue with finding peace in my life due to this tremendous weight of guilt of sin. I go to confession a few times a month, and receive the Eucharist as often as possible, yet I feel little peace in life as though the weight of all I’ve done and left undone threatens to crush me, if not mine then I’m anxious for someone else’s. It’s like being at war every waking moment of every day. Tired and beat down is my new normal and I just feel exhausted. So my question is how do I find more peace and joy? I know it’s out there.
It’s not all bad though, when I do find it, it is profoundly deep and seems to wipe away all the anxiety and guilt away instantly. It all springs from something good as well, in that I want to fight and truly be perfect and the harder I try the more, however slight, imperfections I see. Lastly, it is what I deserve in the grand scheme of things.

So thoughts ladies and gentlemen?
 
I go to confession a few times a month, and receive the Eucharist as often as possible
If you have made a good and humble confession and if the priest has given you the absolution then it means that God has taken away your sins. You have to trust this and have faith that this has happened. Once He takes your sins it is not your job to pull them back onto yourself again.
Yet I feel little peace in life as though the weight of all I’ve done and left undone threatens to crush me, if not mine then I’m anxious for someone else’s. It’s like being at war every waking moment of every day. Tired and beat down is my new normal and I just feel exhausted.
Sometimes it can seem like this when we forget just how much God loves us. He does not treat us according to what we have done.

It can also be an easy trap we fall into that gives us an excuse to constantly reject God’s graces. The times you feel good are those times when a little bit of this grace manages to slip past without you knowing. He really wants you to feel like this all the time but you have to trust Him to give you that grace. Just think how much good you are doing others (and yourself) by being exhausted and worrying all the time. Wouldn’t you be better off doing just what you can and feeling happy (or at least normal).

By the way have you ruled out any medical condition that could cause this.
 
If you have made a good and humble confession and if the priest has given you the absolution then it means that God has taken away your sins. You have to trust this and have faith that this has happened. Once He takes your sins it is not your job to pull them back onto yourself again.

Sometimes it can seem like this when we forget just how much God loves us. He does not treat us according to what we have done.

It can also be an easy trap we fall into that gives us an excuse to constantly reject God’s graces. The times you feel good are those times when a little bit of this grace manages to slip past without you knowing. He really wants you to feel like this all the time but you have to trust Him to give you that grace. Just think how much good you are doing others (and yourself) by being exhausted and worrying all the time. Wouldn’t you be better off doing just what you can and feeling happy (or at least normal).

By the way have you ruled out any medical condition that could cause this.
This is very good advice. You may not have a medical issue at all, but this certainly sounds like some scrupulosity.

Trust in God’s mercy, and pray to His Mother too, that she will show you the sacrifice her son has made, and how much she wants you to reach out and accept his forgiveness. Look what he did for you! You Have to trust that once you’ve confessed those sins, they’re gone and they’re not coming back. The sacrament of reconciliation is like a hospital with a 100% cure rate, if you make a good confession and confess all the sins you remember.

You are in the state of grace after a good confession. Sometimes Jesus can seem far away; like the time when the Apostles were on the lake in the storm, and Jesus seemed to be walking past. But he’s never far away and will also answer the call. He wants you to depend on him and reach out to him.

Maybe look into the lives of the Saints a little. Both Mother Teresa and Therese of Lisieux ( I think) when through periods of dryness.
It’s easy to think we’re alone, and that’s how the devil wants it; but we’re really not.
 
Thank you all very much for your prayers and your advice, I do think I have a personality that likes to dwell on the negative in an attempt to stare it down and claim victory over it. Clearly it hasn’t served me very well. I really need to and will make an effort to actively accept God’s love and grace, because CatholicGuy31 is very right in saying I could do much more if I was feeling more up to it. I have a suspicion it is the fell powers that seek to keep me down by all this, and I should give them no quarter by accepting and remembering the fact that unlike them I’m forgiven.
 
Hey emerald!
It sounds like a bit of Cognative behavior therapy may be helpful, but I was wondering, in the past, what happened or what were the circumstances of when you did feel that deep peace.
Thanks!
 
I should give them no quarter by accepting and remembering the fact that unlike them I’m forgiven.
Absolutely right! I will pray that you find the courage to continue on this journey of faith. Let the feeling of peace be your guide. The first steps will be the hardest but always remember that you are not alone. God’s grace is with you but trusting in that grace is something that is acquired over time and rarely happens overnight.

You will find yourself starting to grow when you close the door to those things that troubled you in the past. Below are some suggestions that might help:
Making some time for daily or weekly prayer.
Spending some time each week in front of the Blessed Sacrament.
Going on a quiet retreat for a few days (if that’s possible).

I think it is impossible for us to see in ourselves exactly how much God loves us but we can at least try.

May God give you many special blessings to make up for ones you might have missed.
 
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