Feeling lost and lonely

  • Thread starter Thread starter bpcatholic
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
B

bpcatholic

Guest
Hello. I didn’t know where to put this, but I hope this is the right forum. A little over two months ago I moved to a new town. New people and everything. Family and friends are far away. Since living here I have had a hard time finding people to connect with. I even tried the local Catholic parish, unfortunately it is not as vibrant as my previous parish. At work the people are much older than me. I sit in the park many hours seeing people walking with other friends and companions. I don’t know what to do. I like living here, it’s a nice town. But it’s very lonely. I could use some advice, prayers and encouragement, anything really, during this time. I should also mention that my relationship with God isn’t what it used to be. I have a hard time trusting in Him. 😦
 
I can understand where you are coming from. I moved from the West to the East Coast three years ago and then now I moved to the South. I know what it is like to have to start all over again with no friends or family in your area.

If you are single maybe try joining a young singles group (many singles groups have age ranges). You can start taking a dance class, a yoga class, a pedaling class, or whatever. You can find classes at community centers, dance studios, or gyms in your area. It helps to have something in common with when making friends. You have to really put yourself out there and talk to people if you join some class or club and talk to people.

I know it is hard adjusting to a new place with a different culture. It is doable though! Plenty of people have done it before and you can too. Good luck and God bless.
 
DA1973 said:
Maybe God sent you there to help make that parish vibrant.
Click to expand...
I wouldn’t know how to do that. The people are pretty stubbourn. And not open…at all.
TrixieMcGee said:
I can understand where you are coming from. I moved from the West to the East Coast three years ago and then now I moved to the South. I know what it is like to have to start all over again with no friends or family in your area.

If you are single maybe try joining a young singles group (many singles groups have age ranges). You can start taking a dance class, a yoga class, a pedaling class, or whatever. You can find classes at community centers, dance studios, or gyms in your area. It helps to have something in common with when making friends. You have to really put yourself out there and talk to people if you join some class or club and talk to people.

I know it is hard adjusting to a new place with a different culture. It is doable though! Plenty of people have done it before and you can too. Good luck and God bless.
Click to expand...
I looked those things up as well. The problem is that there aren’t that many groups here, it’s a small town. The groups that I do find interesting conflict with my work schedule.
 
I don’t know what to tell you then. It seems like you are a little depressed at the moment and seeing things through a negative light and making excuses. I moved to a little town and it was hard, but I managed to make friends. What is the problem with having friends that aren’t your age? I have had friends of all different ages. I am in my mid-twenties and I have had friends ranging from 18 to in their 60s in my new areas. I know it is hard and a little depressing, but keep your mood up and keep looking and trying. You aren’t going to make any more friends by shooting down other people’s ideas. You came here looking for other people’s ideas and opinions and it seems like you really don’t want them.
 
bpcatholic said:
Hello. I didn’t know where to put this, but I hope this is the right forum. A little over two months ago I moved to a new town. New people and everything. Family and friends are far away. Since living here I have had a hard time finding people to connect with. I even tried the local Catholic parish, unfortunately it is not as vibrant as my previous parish. At work the people are much older than me. I sit in the park many hours seeing people walking with other friends and companions. I don’t know what to do. I like living here, it’s a nice town. But it’s very lonely. I could use some advice, prayers and encouragement, anything really, during this time. I should also mention that my relationship with God isn’t what it used to be. I have a hard time trusting in Him. 😦
Click to expand...
When one door closes another door opens… God put you there for a reason. You need to bloom like a flower my dear friend in Christ! Pray pray and pray. As I will be doing for you.
 
TrixieMcGee said:
I don’t know what to tell you then. It seems like you are a little depressed at the moment and seeing things through a negative light and making excuses. I moved to a little town and it was hard, but I managed to make friends. What is the problem with having friends that aren’t your age? I have had friends of all different ages. I am in my mid-twenties and I have had friends ranging from 18 to in their 60s in my new areas. I know it is hard and a little depressing, but keep your mood up and keep looking and trying. You aren’t going to make any more friends by shooting down other people’s ideas. You came here looking for other people’s ideas and opinions and it seems like you really don’t want them.
Click to expand...
I have no problem with making friends with people who are older than me (I am also in my twenties). I still have friends who are in their fifties and sixties as well. It’s not that I don’t want to “hang out” with the older people here, it’s that they don’t want to. Unfortutantely people keep to their age groups here. Which I find silly. I am really quite open, and maybe that’s why I feel this way, because the people here are not.
 
I believe sometimes God allows us to go through rough spots to teach us something or to prepare us for the future. See if you can find something God may be trying to show you. Such as to grow in faith or trust or love.

I also sometimes have a hard time trusting. But i think about it that if you love someone you have to Trust them otherwise thats not a very strong love. Faith is the ultimate Trust and thus is very hard. Just start by loving the Lord and Trust will come.

Peace in Christ,
Matthew
 
vjnycguy said:
When one door closes another door opens… God put you there for a reason. You need to bloom like a flower my dear friend in Christ! Pray pray and pray. As I will be doing for you.
Click to expand...
Thank you.
Matthewmatt said:
I believe sometimes God allows us to go through rough spots to teach us something or to prepare us for the future. See if you can find something God may be trying to show you. Such as to grow in faith or trust or love.

I also sometimes have a hard time trusting. But i think about it that if you love someone you have to Trust them otherwise thats not a very strong love. Faith is the ultimate Trust and thus is very hard. Just start by loving the Lord and Trust will come.

Peace in Christ,
Matthew
Click to expand...
I am trying. Even though I have a hard time in trusting God, I find myself frequently in Church just sitting there. Praying, complaining, talking to myself, sitting in silence.
 
I have an idea.

Is there something that really interests you beyond all other things…not necessarily something you can DO (like play an instrument or paint or roller blade) but something that really interests you that maybe, just maybe, you have never had the time or the energy to learn about?

I don’t know - maybe, something like dog training, or scuba diving, or restoring old kitchen appliances, or genealogy or old movies or fashion or gardening or cat herding, or bread baking…

Anything? Anything at all?🤷
 
LSK said:
I have an idea.

Is there something that really interests you beyond all other things…not necessarily something you can DO (like play an instrument or paint or roller blade) but something that really interests you that maybe, just maybe, you have never had the time or the energy to learn about?

I don’t know - maybe, something like dog training, or scuba diving, or restoring old kitchen appliances, or genealogy or old movies or fashion or gardening or cat herding, or bread baking…

Anything? Anything at all?🤷
Click to expand...
I like languages…hmmm. I should see what they offer. Good idea.
 
Remember that it usually takes a whole year to feel settled in to a new place. You are there for a reason, even if you don’t know what it is yet. Try to look at it as an exciting chance to have a “do over” in life/living quarters, etc.

Prayers for you on your exciting adventure!
 
Have patience, trust in the will of the Lord, and pray.

There is an answer, you must just listen to what God is telling you.

I know that is far easier said than done, since I am going through the same sort of thing after a divorce. Life can be quite lonely.

I will keep you in my prayers.

God Bless you!
 
bpcatholic said:
I like languages…hmmm. I should see what they offer. Good idea.
Click to expand...
YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK!!! Maybe there is a language club at a local college or a Theology on Tap group or something…and you start getting out of yourself a little bit AND you get to meet some people that have the same interests.

You aren’t interested in cat herding, huh? Too bad…it can really make the time fly by…:rolleyes:
 
Interesting

I just got back from a vacation last week at a resort area of Wisconsin - Door County.

It is kind of a rustic - farming area - along with beaches. But i was staying at a house we rented with another family. Sitting on the bookshelf was a book, i ended up becoming fascinated by:

“The Door County Letters of Anna and Anders Petterson, 1884-1889”

It was written by the granddaughter of this couple that came from well-off families in Germany and the Netherlands - when Door county was still undeveloped.

The letters to back home were mostly from Anna, but also Anders - a young couple - who were religious - but used to a relatively easy life (for the 1800s anyway).

But when they got here, everything was so hard. And it was so hard to make any friends.

At first, Anna, is a bit condescending to the locals - who weren’t as high-brow as she was. But as she stayed there, her attitude came to love the locals.

I recommend that you check out this book on amazon or in your library.

When i moved out of college it took a good year or so before i felt like i really belonged.

I wish you well.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top