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mitchashby16
Guest
lately I have been overwhelmed with some rules of catholicism, I just feel overwhelmed and sometimes I just want to go out and be “normal” again what would you suggest I do?
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teachccd
Guest
What is it about what the Church teaches that doesn’t make you feel “normal”?
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mitchashby16
Guest
sorry, didnt want to offend anyone, but by “normal” I guess I mean how I used to be, how most of my friends are, how most college students are they all seem so happy and I just feel extremely OCD over here trying to figure out if my sins are mortal or not
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teachccd
Guest
So your dilemma is whether or not your actions are moral and if not then are you committing mortal sin? I would say that you need the counsel of a priest because you should be happy. Living a good moral life is not a sad life and if you slip up God forgives all of the time. Mortal sin not only involves grave matter but it also includes full consent. If you are not aware that a sin is mortal then most of the time you did not sin mortally since you would definitely know. Mortal sin is a deliberate rejection of God. It is where you know that an act is serious in nature and you give full consent to commit that act regardless of how God sees it. There are many mitigating circumstances whereby your culpability is diminished if there is anything that impedes your giving full consent. You really need to consult a priest, talk about your struggles and be happy again. I think you are putting more on yourself than you should. That is my two cents and I hope it helps. God bless you.
teachccd
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mitchashby16
Guest
Everyone says that mortal sin is deliberately rejecting God and His love, and I know the technical criteria for it, however, I would never reject God’s love even when I end up doing things such as getting drunk, or even masturbation I still love God and acknowledge His existence. I am not intentionally denying Him so how is this mortal?
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teachccd
Guest
This is EXACTLY why I said that you need to talk with someone and give the specifics of your struggles. Masturbation is objectively a mortal sin but the Catechism of the Catholic Church says that there are circumstances where the culpability is diminished. Getting drunk is never ok because you loose your faculties and your judgement is impaired. That goes for secular objectives as well as religious. Loving God involves discipline and an understanding of His will. I can say that I love my wife ( and indeed I do) but at the same time say that my lusting after another woman really doesn’t matter since I know how much I love my wife. Well, it does matter. It is the same with God. We need to always put Him first and not love things in His place.
So, If you say that getting drunk or masturbating is better than obeying God’s will then that COULD be moving into mortal sin. If, though, temptation allows your weakness to step forth and you fall then you have to consider the circumstances, the occasion of sin and your amount of consent. That is why I cannot stress the importance of spiritual direction that is tailored to your specific struggles. You deserve to be happy and satan would not want anything more than for you to fall into despair and think that you are always separated from God. You need to stop worrying and know God’s love. I still struggle with that but I have come a long way. I was just like you always thinking that everything I did was a mortal sin. I am 53 years old so maybe that was how I was raised. Mortal sin does exist and one can commit that kind of sin but only you and God will know with the discernment of a spiritual director. God bless you and may you find His peace.
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Qoeleth
Guest
Well, being young is certainly not a sin, and therefore doing the kind of things young people do is also not a sin. Remember, Jesus Himself went to parties, and people accused Him of being a drunkard. A little drinking, a joint or two, some ‘intimacy’ with women (stopping short of actual fornication)- these things in themselves are not sins.
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St_Francis
Guest
Sorry, this is completely illogical.
Sorry, this is terrible advice! First of all, some parties are ok to go to, others not so much! Drinking a little is fine, if you are not breaking the law; smoking pot–ahhhh, sinful.
And “intimacy” as you put it, even if it stops short of the final act, is a near occasion of sin, which putting yourself deliberately in can be sinful, and certainly can easily to sin(as well as other serious life problems).
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twoangels
Guest
If you’re caring about whether or not your sins are mortal or not, you’re relying too much on yourself and not enough on Christ. They’re good categories to know abstractly. But its easy to get hung up on it and to feel like we’re walking a tight rope. Trust God. If you’re intention is to follow Him, He will guide you. Have that faith. Your conscience is supposed to help you know right from wrong, grave from not. So confess according to your conscience while you develop your conscience. Don’t be afraid of your conscience being in error. You’re not responsible for that portion. Do you’re best. Trust God. Stop fearing God’s wrath. Trust in His mercy.
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thistle
Guest
What???
Any sexual contact/act outside marriage is a sin of grave matter.
Your profile says you are Catholic but you don’t seem to know what the Church teaches!
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Qoeleth
Guest
Well, if you say ANY sexual contact- does that mean kissing, hugging, etc., are all sinful?
Technically, yes, all lust is a sinful tendency, but if you believe is marraige is OK, presumably it is necessary to have a relationship with the person before you get married. Even kissing a person to whom one is attracted is a highly (and intrinsically) sexual activity.
Yes, believe me, I know precisely what the Church teaches, and its nuances and appropriate applications. But one can only maturely appropriate these teachings after a certain amount of experience. One cannot say not something until one knows what it is to which one is saying no.
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thistle
Guest
Its very simple. Rule of thumb is that whatever you would not do in front of your parents is almost certainly sinful!!
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waitingforHim
Guest
please expand, otherwise don’t say ambigious stuff like that
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waitingforHim
Guest
alot of young saints chose death over sin; has the standard for sainthood dropped now?
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englishredrose
Guest
Do you have a priest whom you can feel you can have a real talk with?
As you have already witnessed here, there is confusion in the advice and whether it is church teaching or not. This isn’t helpful for you right now though I do hope it will help you to grasp why yourself may be confused when others out there are also equally confused. You are not alone that is definate.
But if you can find a priest to have a real chat to whether he is your campus priest or your home priest, it doesn’t matter. Or any priest you can reach even but stick to what they say as you sought it out in your head.
It sounds like it is simply a growing up issue for you though it not that simple. You are observing that others are seemingly having fun and don’t have the same hang ups as you do. They may well be looking at you in return thinking you have it all sussed and they wish they could be more like you and having fun… You will never find that out because we never share our real feelings but someone there be thinking you have it right and having fun too just by looking at you. We cannot tell what another person is thinking or feeling. Sometimes the loudness and the ‘cool’ stuff are equally a cover up when they are struggling too but with different parts of their morals. You are trying to work out what your morals are.
Venile and mortal sins is something I don’t do because I am Anglican and I don’t know if other Anglicans worry about venile or mortal but I personally don’t. I do bother with confession but categorise my sins as for me personally, a sin, is a sin regardless of venile or mortal and if I end up feeling ‘bad’ enough for it then I go to confession.
But I would encourage you to have a talk, an open talk with a priest you can feel as though you can talk with and share your concerns with him. Whether you choose to do this in confession I think is up to you but when booking, let the priest know you’re wanting to talk it through. They can be excellent at putting us back on track again when we are feeling overwhelmed with churchy stuff. On here people may mean well but cannot say it like a good priest does and also the value of face to face conversation will help too. I really do recommend you finding a priest whom you can trust and have a talk with as in time that will gain you more understanding where you are at etc. You might come away from the chat feeling dissillusioned but give yourself time for the chat to sink home.
Go and arrange to meet a priest and have a real chat with them and I hope your mind be soon put at peace and that you’ll find what you are experiencing is in fact perfectly normal part of life.
peace
xxx
As you have already witnessed here, there is confusion in the advice and whether it is church teaching or not. This isn’t helpful for you right now though I do hope it will help you to grasp why yourself may be confused when others out there are also equally confused. You are not alone that is definate.
But if you can find a priest to have a real chat to whether he is your campus priest or your home priest, it doesn’t matter. Or any priest you can reach even but stick to what they say as you sought it out in your head.
It sounds like it is simply a growing up issue for you though it not that simple. You are observing that others are seemingly having fun and don’t have the same hang ups as you do. They may well be looking at you in return thinking you have it all sussed and they wish they could be more like you and having fun… You will never find that out because we never share our real feelings but someone there be thinking you have it right and having fun too just by looking at you. We cannot tell what another person is thinking or feeling. Sometimes the loudness and the ‘cool’ stuff are equally a cover up when they are struggling too but with different parts of their morals. You are trying to work out what your morals are.
Venile and mortal sins is something I don’t do because I am Anglican and I don’t know if other Anglicans worry about venile or mortal but I personally don’t. I do bother with confession but categorise my sins as for me personally, a sin, is a sin regardless of venile or mortal and if I end up feeling ‘bad’ enough for it then I go to confession.
But I would encourage you to have a talk, an open talk with a priest you can feel as though you can talk with and share your concerns with him. Whether you choose to do this in confession I think is up to you but when booking, let the priest know you’re wanting to talk it through. They can be excellent at putting us back on track again when we are feeling overwhelmed with churchy stuff. On here people may mean well but cannot say it like a good priest does and also the value of face to face conversation will help too. I really do recommend you finding a priest whom you can trust and have a talk with as in time that will gain you more understanding where you are at etc. You might come away from the chat feeling dissillusioned but give yourself time for the chat to sink home.
Go and arrange to meet a priest and have a real chat with them and I hope your mind be soon put at peace and that you’ll find what you are experiencing is in fact perfectly normal part of life.
peace
xxx
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Qoeleth
Guest
To take such an approach will reduce a maturing young adult to dangerous repression. I would not go to the toilet in front of my parents, or kiss a girl, or smoke a common cigarette- how does that make it sin?? You are reducing God to a kind of weird parent-substitute, and linking morality to the narrowest kind of social restraint. Part of psychological development is to cast aside parental contraints- and to adopt an adult identity.
Youth is a gift from God. As Scripture says: “You who are young, be happy while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth.” (Qo 11)
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Qoeleth
Guest
The Law of God is clear and simple- don’t commit fornication. The Law of God (and the Church) is not, and should not be, a ‘Manual for Permissibile Making Out’.
Let young people figure out boundaries for themselves- as long as the law of God and respect for the dignity of the person if preserved. Things have to be a bit ambiguous. Life, and love, is ambiguous…
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thistle
Guest
I repeat. All sexual contact/acts outside marriage are sins of grave matter. That includes touching of private parts. It’s not just sexual intercourse that’s sinful.
Kissing and cuddling/hugging can be but need not be sinful.
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Qoeleth
Guest
I agree with you in principle, but think it is not good for the Church to prescribe what are permissible and impermissible acts in detail, since the potential complexities of situations are endless. Obviously, if people realise thay are ‘having sex without having sex’, things have gone too far. But it is up to individual consciences, as long as the Divine Law against fornication is upheld.
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thistle
Guest
It is NOT restricted to fornication. ALL sex acts outside marriage are gravely sinful. There is no wiggle room.
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