Feeling Pressured by DH to work (VENT)

  • Thread starter Thread starter PatienceAndLove
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rayne, you always think I’m rude. The discussion progressed in that direction. Discussions often progress. I did respond to the original topic.

Sometimes things are about something totally different than what we think they are about. I raised that possibility, OP responded, I responded, she responded, and we ended up where we ended up. It’s called a conversation. Why is it in these boards when conversations progress into other related areas, people have such a problem with it? “You’re not commenting on the original topic!” So what. I am contributing to the discussion that has evolved. 🤷
 
PatienceAndLove,

Glad to hear you and DH are in a better place. It is always better to talk about things when cooled off. I know my DH and I both have said some pretty nasty things when heated, too.

About being fair…be fair to DH, but make sure you are fair to DD and her needs first. If she is already in pre-school, then you working part-time may not really change anything for her. Good luck.

Peace, out.
 
I think Duskyjewel had good (name removed by moderator)ut. If divorce, remarrying and a child from another father is part of the equation here, those issues need to be brought to the surface and dealt with as much as other issues.
 
hasikelee said:
I think Duskyjewel had good (name removed by moderator)ut. If divorce, remarrying and a child from another father is part of the equation here, those issues need to be brought to the surface and dealt with as much as other issues.
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I agree. It is interesting to be a newlywed, a college student and a mommy to a 3 year old who is getting used to “Papa”. Things get out of hand sometimes.
 
To the OP:

Before you get a MA in Theology, please know that you’ll be thousands of dollars in debt and only be able to get low paying jobs.My husband has a MA in Theology from Franciscan (albeit he actually went there and didn’t do the distance program so perhaps that costs more)

He looked into working with his degree after graduated but everywhere we looked paid under $35,000 and we just couldn’t live off of that.
 
maria29 said:
To the OP:

Before you get a MA in Theology, please know that you’ll be thousands of dollars in debt and only be able to get low paying jobs.My husband has a MA in Theology from Franciscan (albeit he actually went there and didn’t do the distance program so perhaps that costs more)

He looked into working with his degree after graduated but everywhere we looked paid under $35,000 and we just couldn’t live off of that.
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Danke!
 
rayne89 said:
Dusky you are going totally off topic. The OP didn’t come for your opinion about step families or about about physical and/ or sexual abuse of children. She asked about being pressured to work by her hubby. And in my opinion you are being rude.
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I think your definition of “off topic” is extremely narrow. (I would define “off topic” as bringing up a discussion about Purgatory or what I’m making for dinner tonight on this thread, not what dusky wrote).

When Patience posted that her daughter was 3 1/2 (and knowing she’d been married under a year) I had the same thought as dusky regarding the possibility that the issue surrounding SAHM might be related to the fact that her daughter is not his daughter.

It’s a point worth bringing up, which subsequent discussion can hash out.

I don’t think dusky was being rude. We all see things through our own lenses, colored by our own experiences. Having grown up with step-parents myself (and may I add several iterations of step parents) I totally see where dusky is coming from as I have experienced being treated differently than bio-kids.
 
Please refrain from chastising one another and jumping to each other’s defense on this thread. It merely distracts from the original purpose. Report any posts you feel are inappropriate and allow moderators to determine any necessary action. Please also realize that you may be unaware of what action is taken, since private counseling and warnings or infractions are not visible.

Thanks for your cooperation.
 
Ahhh… now I have a better grasp of things. I’ll dial back some of my initial comments. First of all, thank your dh for his service. I completely understand Marines. It took a lot of strength and endurance and overcoming frustration to recover from his injuries, whatever their nature. He’s used to being in a take-charge control mode over his environment. He’s been plunged headfirst into the most undependable unpredictable area of operations imagineable (a family with a kid) with very little training for the present mission. Gotcha. 👍

First of all, kudos for him being willing to step up to the plate and be a daddy to your little girl. Even men with newborns who are their own take a while to be “domesticated.” This guy is having to adjust to a whole lot of stuff in the first year. Is your local VA any help with job hunting or other issues? There is always a network of former marines who look out for each other and your husband has a skill set that may be transferable to areas other than school teaching.

I sympathize with all the readjustments you are making. Is there a way you can find a job working from home… telecommuting? That way you can deal with your child and earn some money to help out. Does the VA have education benefits he can take advantage of?

If he knows how hard your job is, and he makes comments like that when he’s annoyed, maybe you all need to find a different way to discuss hot topics. Memos or powerpoints in bullet format?

Good luck. He sounds like a good guy who is struggling to readjust to too much all at once. And yes, you changed the playing field out of the blue. Some people don’t adjust well to sudden change. Marines have to be adaptable out on the battlefield. Use that outlook in your family life.
 
My soon to be wife also wants to be a SAHM. At first I didnt like the Idea. I was going to get out of the Navy, so I was unsure about what kind of job I was going to have, or what kind of money we were going to have for a family. We talked about it for about 4 months, and when the smoke cleared 😉 I finally realized that what being a SAHM entailed, I gladly agreed. I decided to switch to another branch of service instead of getting out, and now I know what kind of job (military) and what kind of money (E6 pay with benefits) we will have for our family.

So I guess what Im trying to say is, it may seem like battle that may last a while, but just give it time, things always seem to work out for the best 😃
 
Liberanosamalo said:
If he knows how hard your job is, and he makes comments like that when he’s annoyed, maybe you all need to find a different way to discuss hot topics. Memos or powerpoints in bullet format?

Good luck. He sounds like a good guy who is struggling to readjust to too much all at once. And yes, you changed the playing field out of the blue. Some people don’t adjust well to sudden change. Marines have to be adaptable out on the battlefield. Use that outlook in your family life.
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Thank you for you words. They make a lot of sense.
And I like the memos/powerpoints idea, it’s entirely too funny!
 
One thing that I have learned… plans change. Lift throws curveballs. In the economy and businss world today, we cannot have a sure no fail job anywhere at anytime. The best families adapt to the changes life brings - stay focused on the ultimate goal (to be happy with God in heaven and guiding our children there). The rest is just stuff.
 
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