Feeling pulled back to Catholicism

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Alexandra

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Perhaps you all can help me. Maybe this isn’t the right place to post this but I really couldn’t find a better place. I’m a cradle Catholic. We were not devout. Didn’t even go to church at Christmas or Easter. Only went on a regular basis when we were being prepared for Communion and Confirmation. And I made first communion at about age 12 because my parents just never got around to it. Once I was confirmed my mother said that she had did her duty and that was the end of going to church.
I became very faithful in my latter teen years, but eventually fell away and let the world guide me. I met and married my husband - we dated two months before we married and just celebrated 20 years of marriage - we were married in a “Church of God” as since I wasn’t attending mass I didn’t want to put my unchurched husband to be on the spot with the priest. On our second anniversary we discovered that we could never have (birth) children. I remember calling out to God and “hearing”, “What have you done for ME?”
Through a series of events we found the “Plain” churches - Amish, Mennonite and Brethren. When I say Plain, I mean those that have a prescribed manner of dress and life. We started attending this Brethren church on a regular basis and finally asked to become members. We even moved across the country to be in a congregation. That was thirteen years ago.
We have been a very close group and help each other when it is needed. Indeed they got me through the deaths of both my mother and father in a period of 14 months. They’ve put a roof on our house for us, and helped us drywall a house we were remodeling. They’ve been there for us when we’ve needed them.
My problem is that lately I am getting a pull back to the church. Not really from a theological standpoint but just a “pull” to come back. I know how my church family will think if I do. They will react as if I have left them to join a cult. I can’t imagine facing them and telling them that I am leaving to revert to Catholicism. I am in no way prepared to debate with them the different theological points of the faith. When I left I never bad mouthed the church and in fact defended different practices to those that questioned things the church did. I found however that I was very uninformed and could not “stand up to” their questioning.
Are there any reverts who have been in a similar situation who can give me some advice?
 
I can’t say I was in an exact similar situation, as my involvement with non-Catholic churches was not as involved as yours is. When I was in graduate school, I attended a non-denominational, evangelical Christian church (some spoke in tongues, for example). They were very kindly people, but did tell me I had never been baptized, since Catholic baptism “didn’t count” because babies couldn’t take Jesus into their hearts. They wanted me to be baptized in their church, which I did not want to do. After I met my husband, we began pre-Cana classes in the Catholic church and I was able to study the catechism and understand it more deeply than I had as a cradle Catholic.

It was easier to leave that church because I was moving anyway; I just drifted away, really. I know they were disappointed because they had wanted us to be married at their church, not in the Catholic church.

More recently, our whole family converted to the Orthodox church, and we actually live right next to the church. After a year in the church we realized it was not God’s will for us to be there; our children were being threatened and sometimes mistreated, so we simply stopped attending and found a Byzantine Catholic church that we are very happy with.

I got a few emails from people at the Orthodox church. My response to them was simply that this was the decision that was best for our family; that they had certainly not done anything to offend us but events at the parish made it clear to us we could not stay. I didn’t get specific; that would have been gossip. The priest knew why we had left.

It will be harder for you; you have been with this church for a long time and it sounds as though they are very kind people who have certainly helped you out a lot!

My only suggestions are: obtain a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, and read it thoroughly so that you understand everything as well as you can. Not so you can neccessarily talk to others about it, but for yourself. And like you said, it helps if you are questioned about the faith.

Also, I would simply start small, by maybe attending a weekday Mass or even a Saturday evening Mass if that is possible. See if the Holy Spirit continues to tug at your heart. Is your husband supportive?
 
Hi Alexandra,

Samcarter’s comment
“My response to them was simply that this was the decision that was best for our family.”

My husband always tells me not to give reasons as they can only be argued around. He advises me just to respectfully state the facts if anyone is likely to object to our decisions. That is difficult when you are dealing with concerned family and friends. They sometimes wish to save you from the decisions…but you do have the right to your own choices. Others’ charity is a choice freely made to live Christ’s message. It unites you with others, but it shouldn’t become bondage.

Samcarter’s advice to familiarise yourself with the Catholic faith and continue to pray and discern is also wise.

I will keep you in my prayers and daily Masses.

God grant you and your family peace and happiness.

After the above wise post I can only assure you of my prayers.
Warm regards…Trishie
 
Thank you for your prayers, much appreciated! I know that is also what I need to be doing - praying. And you all are right about it shouldn’t be bondage. My husband has been in and out of our church repeatedly over the past few years. He had not been raised in any church at all so he has nowhere else to go if he leaves fully. I think that he would support me in whatever I decide, and if I chose to return I think he would probably join as well. At least I hope he would 😉
 
I believe you are feeling the graces of your Baptism and Confirmation pulling you Home…I did…it took a long time, but I am back and have never been happier. You are in my prayers!
 
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