Feeling snubbed

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Mer

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I was volunteering at our church this summer. The records room had not been touched in years. There were 35 years worth of utility bills, school payroll records, etc. just piled is boxes in no particular order. I spent almost 200 hours sorting through dusty boxes creating files for the items that need to be kept, shredding some things and trashing others, I was about half way finished this project when we received a new Parochial Administrator. I came into work on the boxes and found everything I was currently working on were moved to another room including some of the personal items I had purchased to do the job. The new Administrator said he needed time to settle in and asked if the front desk had my number. It has been six weeks and I have heard nothing. I just feel hurt. I was giving 12 hours a week to this project and it meant something to me and he just dismissed this like it meant nothing. Am I just being too sensitive?
 
Yes, absolutely.

There may be many things that are going on that are just more important than organizing old records. There may be new volunteer supervision requirements coming into play, too.

Given that this is also attached to a school, I’m guessing there are probably far more pressing admin issues at play. Schools are complicated and even one broken part can cause endless hours of headaches.

Things in school tend to quiet down after the holidays. You probably won’t hear much until then, not because it’s your fault, but because current issues take precedence over what to do about old records.

If you need your personal things back, just ask.
 
Dear Mer, the administrator may have had no clear idea of the time and effort you put in, nor of the fullness of your aims.
As new administrator he would be feeling the stresses of finding his way and the priorities of his tasks, of trying to do everything well.

We often don’t see into how much is required in others’lives and responsibilities, the people they need to liaise with, how to juggle requirements responsibly.

I understand your hurt, especially after such a major investment of your generosity and time. I doubt that he has any idea of the extent.
It feels like a massive face-slap, but you can be sure he’s oblivious and means no offence.

Sometimes in life we’re left with a pile of ashes for our efforts.
But the Lord knows you were trying to help. You did achieve some cleanup.
Ask the lord to help you let go, and to help you to understand without any potential bitterness or hurt.

Ask for you possession as Xanthippe recommends, and let the Lord lighten your heart and free you from the burden of disappointment and hurt. Your good intentions and efforts remain as a blessing before God, even if the rest of your self-set task was sabotaged.

God’s loving blessings!
 
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I guess my management style is just different from his. I always met with my people, found out what they were doing, and then if needed made changes with them. I felt dismissed and it hurt but I will pray that I come to accept what has happened.
 
Mer, with all due respect, I think you are not giving him enough credit. He could very well want to meet with all volunteers but this is only a few weeks into a new school year that he had to jump into with no prep. Given the staff of even my small local Catholic school that’s K-8, that’s a dozen primary teachers, specialty teachers, custodial staff, administrative staff, etc. Perhaps around 30, I’d say. All who are working 40+ hour weeks. He’s only been there 6 weeks. If he’s given all of his full-timers a mere 20 minutes that’s nearly 600 minutes…or 10 hours…more than a full week devoted to talking to people one on one. And that’s not even counting speaking to students and parents.

So, yeah, in 6 weeks of stepping into a brand new role it’s understandable that he has not worked his ways down to speaking with volunteers who aren’t essential. Give him time.

He stated that he’s interested in speaking with you. But I think you are taking personally his what very much sounds like overwhelmed state.
 
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Not harsh, reality. The guy has had to step into a new school at the beginning of the year…when most people prep for that for over 2 months. He job is to ensure those jobs are dependant on the smooth running of the parish get attention first. Good managers set priorities, wouldn’t you agree? I’ve stepped into a management situation. My first prerogative was not for the special needs students who used the store as a “life” classroom but to my subordinates-- a full-time supervisor, my part-time regulars, and my seasonals. Once I had them squared away I then could address those who were non-essential. And our store was held up as a paragon of the “life” classroom and a business working together later that year.

If they got bent out of shape because it took me a month to sit down with them, I would not have made the strides I did to listen and include them.

Your work was important to you but you are not as important as a full-time teacher, or even as a (paying) parent or student who is there full time. Schools don’t magically hire people at the start of classes unless there is a serious crisis.

Recognising your unimportance may be a needed step in humility.
 
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Here’s the thing. New people don’t know everybody.
And someone working off to themselves, on a project that probably no one has thanked you for, or even knows that you are doing…
it’s not unlikely that he has no clue who you are or what you are doing or why.
WHen he asked to see you, just go! He might have something else for you to do that would be much more beneficial.
Perhaps someone is coming from the Chancery to handle it. They do that here.
Just go in and TALK to him for pete’s sake.
And remember, you may not be doing this, but many people hoard their ministries.
I have a woman who is organizing the Parish LIbrary. For 2 years now, and it’s still a horrible mess. I love her, so I’m not making a fuss, but I would love to go in there and chunk stuff that no one will ever read that is outdated and NOT classic Catholic literature or documents. The parish is where old junk goes to die: broken wheelchairs (someone can fix them! not) old broken umbrellas (someone needs one! no, no they don’t) old stinky office chairs (the Church needs more chairs! (no, not ones that are stained, ugly, and heavy as all get out.)

You might be amazed to take this guy out to lunch and see what is on his plate.

Befriend him. You’ll be very glad you did.
 
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And this

And
It is a unique responsibility of a person stepping into a new role to meet with everyone, get to know their talents and skills and make them feel valued and discuss their role.
 
Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
Recognising your unimportance may be a needed step in humility
Click to expand...
Wow, again with the attack. I asked a simple question. You have called me non-essential and told me to recognize my unimportance. I am sorry but all of God’s children are important in some way.
 
Mer said:
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Xanthippe_Voorhees:
Recognising your unimportance may be a needed step in humility
Click to expand...
Wow, again with the attack. I asked a simple question. You have called me non-essential and told me to recognize my unimportance. I am sorry but all of God’s children are important in some way.
Click to expand...
You’re a volunteer. You are not as vital as the people whose very livelihood or education are dependant on decisions he makes. He needs to tend to them first. The guy still wants to talk to you, he’s asked for time. This is not a matter of being snubbed. He has more important people to attend to. You’re letting your emotions get the better of you.

Your importance to God remains unchanged. Your importance in this situation needs to take a back seat.
 
With all due respect, did you read the replies? No one said you were not important as a person. The task you are doing might not be high on the staff to-do list though, that’s all.
Ask if there is something else you can do. They are ALWAYS looking for reliable volunteers, which sounds like you are. In other words, flexible.
Peace.
 
The Business Manager who assigned the project to me told him in detail what I was doing. I have volunteered for a few different schools/churches/scouts to balance bank accounts, keep books on sales, and organize paperwork. I love to organize things. I quess because I like to finish what I start it was frustrating that I could not do that. I really had little contact (other than lunch) with the previous pastor. I had the list of things that needed to be kept and I just went through the boxes and did what needed to be done. The Business Manager was also frustrated that he stopped my work. She said she doesn’t know why he has not brought me back in to finish the project. Since most of what I was doing was just dirty/grunt work that did not require any supervision I did not understand why he would stop it.
 
Mer,

I would think he is very concerned how it got to this mess in the first place, and that you were kind enough to volunteer to fix it.
Itshould have never gotten to that point. I don’t think he’s thinking about dismissing you, just that there needs a new strategy to prevent this.Perhaps when it is place he will reach out for your help in maintaining it, or you can reach out to him next month.
 
Xanthippe has a direct way with words but means well, I assure you.

I understand your disappointment over your unfinished task. Keep on thinking about the good of the parish. God Bless.
 
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Hi Mer,

I’m sorry that you’re feeling bad about what happened regarding the volunteer work that you did.

Sometimes I think that it’s possible that people are unaware of what’s happening, especially when they come in in the midst of a situation themselves.

If you have personal items there, I would simply ask if I could come in and get them, and I would just mention that your help would be available again if needed, if that is what you want to do.

Every volunteer is essential to a parish, to help the parish run smoothly and efficiently.

Most parishes run on a limited amount of staff, so the volunteer help is also really important, too.

I volunteered for more than one parish during my time of parish volunteering, over the years.

I’m sure that your presence was noted, and was really appreciated. 🙂

Editing to add: I would also pray for him like Clare suggested. I would always pray for the parish that I was attending, praying that all would be well with it and the parishioners. 🙂
 
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Yes to what OGM says. It’s imperative for people to pray for their parish, it’s staff and the Pastor and Deacons.
Its always about “what my parish does” but how many pray for that same parish to be faithful, to thrive, and to have peace and good work???

My pastor asks the parishioners at the conclusions of every.simgle.Mass. to pray for each other. It works!

The very best thing??? It takes the focus off of ourselves. Always a more productive thing.
 
Mer said:
I was volunteering at our church this summer. The records room had not been touched in years. There were 35 years worth of utility bills, school payroll records, etc. just piled is boxes in no particular order. I spent almost 200 hours sorting through dusty boxes creating files for the items that need to be kept, shredding some things and trashing others, I was about half way finished this project when we received a new Parochial Administrator. I came into work on the boxes and found everything I was currently working on were moved to another room including some of the personal items I had purchased to do the job. The new Administrator said he needed time to settle in and asked if the front desk had my number. It has been six weeks and I have heard nothing. I just feel hurt. I was giving 12 hours a week to this project and it meant something to me and he just dismissed this like it meant nothing. Am I just being too sensitive?
Click to expand...
I am sure you mean well, but it makes me nervous a volunteer is shredding and trashing. Is someone giving you permission to trash anything or shred anything?
I would just be patient or go in and speak with the new administrator yourself.
 
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