Feeling so depressed - help

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phil8888

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hey guys,

I feel depressed or something. I would like to ask up front that if anyone has any scathing comments or “tough love”, I’d prefer to receive it some other time. a lot of times people’s words affect me… 😦

anyway, I lost my job a long time ago. I’ve been looking around for a new one, but to be honest, I really dread having to go back into the workforce. it just seems like such a bad place to be. I always have a really hard time at my job. I get extremely bored and just want to leave…

my government benefits are running out in 6 weeks. I can’t move back with my parents, but I have to pay for this apartment. I don’t want it to get to that.

I feel like I have no motivation…

on top of that, it feels like I have no friends. I know another guy who could be considered my friend who is also unemployed, but it seems like I invite myself over there sometimes. he’s been unemployed for several months too, and I’ve been over there to play a game we rented a couple of times. but besies those couple of times, he doesn’t really invite me over.

when I’m online, I really want to chat with someone, but no one is ever online, and if they are, they don’t respond to me, or they just say they have to leave right away.

I’m trying to save money by not turning on the heat or buying any new groceries. so I am sitting here with a lot of clothes on and my boots.

I just feel really down and depressed 😦

there’s probably stuff I’ve missed…

and also I do sometimes visit my parents but to be honest, I feel uncomfortable around most people. I just feel judged. I avoid people I know in public, especially relatives.
 
Phil, you have my prayers.

You might try using some of the extra time you have to volunteer - maybe help with St. Vincent de Paul, sign up to pray for 40 Days for Life (going on right now, probably in a city near you), or finding some other way to serve. Getting your focus off yourself and on helping others may help you get out of the funk you’re in.

God bless.
 
My first responses, since I don’t know more about you, is to suggest you might look for temporary and/or part-time work so you’ll have an income. Also I thought you might make an appointment to speak with a priest you like for guidance, as well as pray for guidance. I don’t know your parental relationship, but most parents are on their children’s side whatever their differences may be.

God bless you
 
Phil,
I can relate on the job thing. I gave up my job going on 4 years ago to care for my Dear Wife who has Alzheimer’s. I know that when this is over I am going to have to go back to work. When I think about it I get some of the same feelings as you…Dread…I know I don’t want to go back to the same work I was doing because frankly I don’t want the pressure. I sometimes think I just want to work at home depot and stock shelves…

Also, because of the disease we don’t have a lot of contacts. Some with family but most of them are not close, and friends seem uncomfortable around DW. I could use more interaction but it just don’t happen.

I can get downright depressing fur-shure…

Mostly I get on here, and a couple of other sites and post on forums. I don’t chat that much cause, like you say folks come and go…I’ve just never been that comfortable with internet “chat”.

I also try to talk to God, say my prayers, and keep trusting that things will work out for His Glory.

Sorry that I don’t really have much to offer other than to say hang in there. The days are getting longer, and spring should be here soon…This time of year can sure be a bummer especially given that you are sitting around cold and maybe hungry…

One of the things I decided to do this lent is to get out and walk a bit in the morning before getting DW up. A bit of excersize, a chance to talk things over with God the Father. Perhaps something like this could help you too…

May God bless and keep you, and may you quickly find a job.

Peace
James
 
I second beckymarie’s suggestion of volunteering. I think helping and serving others will be a great help.

Also, make a daily routine, like that everyday you wake up at a certain time and do certain things at a certain time. It will help bring order to your day, otherwise it feels like the day is just being wasted away and there’s no direction. That makes depression worse.

Get professional help and keep praying. Offer these sufferings up, but ask our Lord to give you strength and heal you. I know it is very difficult.
 
yeah getting out in the morning is probably a good idea. sometimes though, actually most of the time, I end up going to bed like 4 or 5am then getting up like 12 or 1, sometimes even later. that’s probably not good either.

I have a big issue with porn. I decided to stop doing that stuff for Lent. obviously I want to stop it altogether, but my goal is Lent right now. I also wonder if it could have something to do with that. although I only stopped like tuesday night, and it’s only thursday night now. maybe before I wuold be quicker to watch porn?

anyway, nuff about that.

I also just feel bad when I go to my family’s house or see people I know and the first thing they ask is if I have a job yet. I know they’re only trying to help but I just don’t like people feeling pity toward me in my family. like my dad said a few days ago that I’ve been unemployed for a long time and I must be waiting until the benefits run out. I just feel self conscious about it…
 
phil8888 said:
yeah getting out in the morning is probably a good idea. sometimes though, actually most of the time, I end up going to bed like 4 or 5am then getting up like 12 or 1, sometimes even later. that’s probably not good either.
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Have you ever noticed how you feel like you accomplish more when you wake up earlier and well rested? Even though you might get the same amount of sleep, if you wake up earlier, it just feels plain better. Keep the same number of hours, but start going to bed at an earlier hour, and waking up earlier. When you’re in a rut and realize it, sometimes you’ve gotta kick yourself out of it…sort of like going to church when you dont really feel any connection with God, or listen to a friend’s problems even though you’d rather do something else. Sometimes forming habits and going through the motions will be the jump start you needed, and will make sure that the good feelings eventually do return
 
Phil,

Remember that Jesus forgives all sins. His mercy is limitless. You gave something up for Lent, knowing it is not of God. Remember to ask His forgiveness, take it to confession. Depression sucks and fighting in can feel like running in waist-deep water. I’ve been bored at work most of my life and often asked for another place to be. I am learning that God has redeemed the ordinary, boring moments of life. I think that’s why there is nearly nothing recorded about His years before public ministry. He lived an ordinary life, just like you and me and used that time to study and learn. So that’s what I try to do with my free time now.

I’ve often had people tell me to take the focus off of me when I’m really depressed. Volunteer, do something for someone else. Well, I can barely do for me, how am I supposed to do for someone else?

Remember,God loves you and He wants you even more than you want Him. Nothing you’ve done can change that. I heard a line recently–Jesus saying “I can take even your greatest mistake and turn it into something beautiful”

Spend Lent trying to let Jesus do just that. We’re all broken vessels and it’s where God makes the repairs that he puts the gold and jewels.

I’ll say a prayer for you, brother
 
phil8888 said:
hey guys,

I feel depressed or something. I would like to ask up front that if anyone has any scathing comments or “tough love”, I’d prefer to receive it some other time. a lot of times people’s words affect me… 😦

anyway, I lost my job a long time ago. I’ve been looking around for a new one, but to be honest, I really dread having to go back into the workforce. it just seems like such a bad place to be. I always have a really hard time at my job. I get extremely bored and just want to leave…

my government benefits are running out in 6 weeks. I can’t move back with my parents, but I have to pay for this apartment. I don’t want it to get to that.

I feel like I have no motivation…

on top of that, it feels like I have no friends. I know another guy who could be considered my friend who is also unemployed, but it seems like I invite myself over there sometimes. he’s been unemployed for several months too, and I’ve been over there to play a game we rented a couple of times. but besies those couple of times, he doesn’t really invite me over.

when I’m online, I really want to chat with someone, but no one is ever online, and if they are, they don’t respond to me, or they just say they have to leave right away.

I’m trying to save money by not turning on the heat or buying any new groceries. so I am sitting here with a lot of clothes on and my boots.

I just feel really down and depressed 😦

there’s probably stuff I’ve missed…

and also I do sometimes visit my parents but to be honest, I feel uncomfortable around most people. I just feel judged. I avoid people I know in public, especially relatives.
Click to expand...
Hail Mary Conceived without sin.
Pray for us who have recourse to thee

Hail Mary Conceived without sin.
Pray for us who have recourse to thee

Hail Mary Conceived without sin.
Pray for us who have recourse to thee
 
Sweetie, in among those benefits that are due to run out soon, do you have medical insurance? It might do you a lot of good to be evaluated for clinical depression and get treatment started while you have some coverage if you do. Getting on the right treatment (and often it’s a simple, inexpensive medication you could buy with or without insurance once you get started) can make a huge difference.

God bless you.
 
I was an electrical engineer by profession for 20 years, when 10 years ago I lost my job due to a mental illness (severe bipolar disorder) from a large telecommunications company that was going downhill. (I was in the Bell Labs division of Lucent.)

One of the best bits of advice I got from a friend years ago, was “do not think that your value as a person depends on your ability to generate an income stream.”

It sounded both obvious and un-doable. I had a wife and six children and two mortgages to support when everything got kicked out from under me. Well, I ended up filing bankruptcy but there’s a story there, too.

Of those last 10 years, I had severe depression for a couple years in a row, so bad that all I wanted every day was for the whole thing to end – to the point I thought about “checking out.” Although I never actually thought I would do that, it was tempting to wish for it. I could not hardly get out of bed. Five years ago our house burned halfway down. Blah blah blah.

I have more stories but let’s put it this way; I was living in a hell that was, as I later found out, 99% in my own mind, and 1% due to my worldly circumstances.

Here’s why it was 99% in my own mind. I have since been healed of this hell and now am living, afa I can tell, in the “kingdom” where there does not have to be misery just because of uncontrollable worldly circumstances.

You’ve heard of unconditional love? Well, I call this unconditional peace and joy. I’m at peace and even as I struggle to find ways of improving circumstances, I can live each moment of each day without the attendant anxiety that I used to think was automatic and unavoidable.

The first step is to believe there is such a place to be, and yes we experience it while we’re here on earth. Christ gave us His peace; it is stronger if we learn to let it be, than the forces of the world that try to get me down.

Since we were infants we were taught by the world of adults trying to “form” us for society, that our behavior controlled the feelings of others. (e.g. “I’m angry because of what you’ve done,” or “I’m not very happy with you right now.”) Soon after we were taught that our own feelings, at least those on the surface, should comply with others’ expectations of how we should feel! (e.g. “why are you smiling? you should be ashamed,” or, “I don’t like your attitude”) How codependent is that?

Anyway my point is that we have to lose all of our bad worldly training and believe Jesus that we can live in peace and joy, regardless of the efforts of the world around us. In short, our feelings and our emotional health in general CANNOT be arbitrarily manipulated by circumstances, contrary to the way we’ve all been trained.

To take it one step further, I have even challenged myself while thinking of things to do for Lent, to “let go” of my personal need to believe I am right on any given issue. I could talk more about that, but this post is getting too long so I’ll defer that until later.

IMO, it’s all about first believing that it is possible to walk daily through this “valley of death” without fear, intimidation, self-deprecation, feelings of unfairness, etc. and with an abundance of joy and peace. If you don’t believe it’s possible from anything you can imagine doing for yourself, then use faith to believe that with God it is possible.

Once you believe that a “kingdom” of peace and joy is attainable – at least within your own mind and heart – and that the world cannot steal it, then it’s simply an issue of finding out what works for you to get you from here to there. Maybe easier said than done, but honestly once you believe it’s possible it gets easier to find a way.

A few quotes from the book of John to cap it off:

John 14:27 – “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.”

John 15:18-19 – “If the world hates you, realize that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, the world would love its own; but because you do not belong to the world, and I have chosen you out of the world, the world hates you.”

John 16:33 – “I have told you this so that you might have peace in me. In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world.”

See what I mean about unconditional peace? Don’t let anybody tell you that you should be offended, or angry, or whatever, about anything. As a person who suffered from severe bipolar disorder, I’m kind of an expert on runaway emotions – both good and bad. I’m telling you that in my experience, it does not depend on genetics or some scary “chemical imbalance” or whatever, or even on whether my medications are magically working at any given time. It depends 99% on my progress along the spiritual journey I have chosen to take.

Alan
 
baltobetsy said:
Sweetie, in among those benefits that are due to run out soon, do you have medical insurance? It might do you a lot of good to be evaluated for clinical depression and get treatment started while you have some coverage if you do. Getting on the right treatment (and often it’s a simple, inexpensive medication you could buy with or without insurance once you get started) can make a huge difference.

God bless you.
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I’m glad you wrote this, as I want to clarify something in a lengthy post I just sent before I saw yours.

Do not hesitate to seek professional help for depression, if that turns out to be appropriate.

While I am convinced my healing has come from within and through spiritual direction and seeking Jesus and all that, I also was being treated for symptoms by psychiatrists at the same time.

Just remember that the psychiatrists only know of one or two aspects of a complete human being – which have mental, spiritual, physical, sexual, social, and emotional components. It makes sense to have psychiatrists helping with the mental, even as you seek improvement with the spiritual, emotional, and other facets.

Alan
 
I think Alan’s post really hit the nail on the head, so there is only thing I want to add to it. Have you ever done a novena to St. Jude? He is the patron saint of hopeless cases. You can pray to him about the depression, the job situation and the porn addiction. I can say this with complete honesty- every single solitary time I prayed to him in situations that were truly desperate, he always helped me. With actual, palpable help. You have nothing to lose, so why not try? Just find a St. Jude website or go to the social group here and post a prayer and say it every day for nine days. I’ll be praying for you:)
 
Two things I pray for you.
  1. Deep peace of the Lord.
  2. The fire of the Holy Spirit in your Heart.
these two together are the horizon of ecstasy.
 
phil8888 said:
hey guys,

I feel depressed or something. I would like to ask up front that if anyone has any scathing comments or “tough love”, I’d prefer to receive it some other time. a lot of times people’s words affect me… 😦

anyway, I lost my job a long time ago. I’ve been looking around for a new one, but to be honest, I really dread having to go back into the workforce. it just seems like such a bad place to be. I always have a really hard time at my job. I get extremely bored and just want to leave…

my government benefits are running out in 6 weeks. I can’t move back with my parents, but I have to pay for this apartment. I don’t want it to get to that.

I feel like I have no motivation…

on top of that, it feels like I have no friends. I know another guy who could be considered my friend who is also unemployed, but it seems like I invite myself over there sometimes. he’s been unemployed for several months too, and I’ve been over there to play a game we rented a couple of times. but besies those couple of times, he doesn’t really invite me over.

when I’m online, I really want to chat with someone, but no one is ever online, and if they are, they don’t respond to me, or they just say they have to leave right away.

I’m trying to save money by not turning on the heat or buying any new groceries. so I am sitting here with a lot of clothes on and my boots.

I just feel really down and depressed 😦

there’s probably stuff I’ve missed…

and also I do sometimes visit my parents but to be honest, I feel uncomfortable around most people. I just feel judged. I avoid people I know in public, especially relatives.
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Get up and get on your feet already! I´m telling you the longer you sit around the house feeling bad about yourself the longer you´re going to stay depressed. Everyone finds obstacles in their lives now guess what they´re there for? And guess how gratifying it feels to overcome them. There´re things in life that we don´t have no control over, like that girl who´s been married for 20 some years and just found out that her husband´s been cheating on her. In your case the only obstacle is see tho is you.
If you´re sitting around the house hoping for somebody else to fix it for ya, it ain´t never going to happen. Yes, the Lord can fix it, but he can only fix it through you. Ain´t nothing going to happen if you sit around the house and pray “God please help me!” but God ain´t going to do a thing until you get out of the house and do something for yourself!
You need motivation to look for a job? Let me tell you something that could motivate you. You are able to work you´re healthy. Be grateful for that. Find other things you´re grateful for. Get out of the darn house and look around. If you don´t find nuthing that makes you happy I promise you that you will at least find things that make you smile. Get up tomorrow morning, have a shower and get out of the darn house! You´ve got so many chances out there just waiting for ya. Don´t miss out on them, brother!
 
Hail Mary Conceived without sin.
Pray for us who have recourse to thee

Hail Mary Conceived without sin.
Pray for us who have recourse to thee

Hail Mary Conceived without sin.
Pray for us who have recourse to thee
 
HI I just wanted to say my heart goes out to you.I have been where you are.I went through a period of my life suffering panic attacks/anxiety disorder.I became agoraphobic also.I couldn’t work for a while.I started to a routine of drinking plenty of water throughout the day (3litres),( I previously lived on coffee)getting up the same time each morning (say 8am) and going to bed same time each night.At first I found it hard to sleep so I started reading ( I love James Patterson!) this helped me to get tired & sleep well.Then I started getting more regular exercise walking, then swimming.I went to my doctors who prescribed some medication which helped me to keep calmer.I also had some counselling.Before I knew it I was feeling very energetic & was eager to get back to work.That was over 10 yrs ago now. I gave up working 3yrs ago & became a full time carer for 2 sisters with disabilities and my mother moved in to live with us after suffering a stroke,needing a lot of care.My life has changed completely.It is rewarding caring for my family members but I get depressed at times as I have no time to socialise (except on internet).I am exhausted a lot of the time mentally & physically.I know God helps me through.I don’t know if any of this will help but God bless you
 
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