feeling stuck

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kittyplant

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hi everyone.
i am still in the same dilemma from months ago. i am 6 months pregnant, i am not married. the baby’s father is a sweet person, but he does not believe in God and has some various problems.
  1. i do not want to give my baby up for adoption, so please no posts about that
  2. i have already been to catholic community services etc they are not involved, i couldnt find help with them, so no posts about that
what i do want advice on is this: i have feelings for baby’s father. i am pretty sure marriage is not the answer, so i know i should be operating with that in mind. even if we are not getting married, i care about him and want to keep him in my prayers.

i am now living thousands of miles away from my family. the only person who helps me is baby’s father. the only way for me to cut off the relationship with him, get away from temptation and move forward with God is if I move back to my family NOW before baby is born.

What I need from you guys is encouragement because I am afraid of moving. afraid I wont find the doctors I need ( i will have to reapply for medicaid in my home state). i feel it is what i have to do but i am sad and worried.
 
Have you discussed the matter with a Priest? Perhaps marrying the baby’s father is the right thing to do. He is, after all, the father of your child. You said he is a sweet person and is helpful to you. Perhaps he will convert with time. I think in general it’s good for families to stay together. You have started a family with this man. Why must you necessarily part ways? Would be interesting to discuss this with a Priest, and just see what their advice is. Also, spend time with the Blessed Sacrament! Go to Eucharistic Adoration. Pray, pray, pray. If this man is caring and wants to be in your life and is willing to be a responsible provider, I would give him a chance. He may convert with time. Families belong together. As long as this man is not abusive, I personally think marrying and giving your child a father is important. Kids need dads. I would do everything possible to raise your child with a dad…not some other man, but the child’s actual dad. Tell this man how important it is that your child be raised with a father. With Jesus Christ’s help, healing, cooperation, and progress are all possible!
 
onegirlinchrist said:
Have you discussed the matter with a Priest? Perhaps marrying the baby’s father is the right thing to do. He is, after all, the father of your child. You said he is a sweet person and is helpful to you. Perhaps he will convert with time. I think in general it’s good for families to stay together. You have started a family with this man. Why must you necessarily part ways? Would be interesting to discuss this with a Priest, and just see what their advice is. Also, spend time with the Blessed Sacrament! Go to Eucharistic Adoration. Pray, pray, pray. If this man is caring and wants to be in your life and is willing to be a responsible provider, I would give him a chance. He may convert with time. Families belong together. As long as this man is not abusive, I personally think marrying and giving your child a father is important. Kids need dads. I would do everything possible to raise your child with a dad…not some other man, but the child’s actual dad. Tell this man how important it is that your child be raised with a father. With Jesus Christ’s help, healing, cooperation, and progress are all possible!
Click to expand...
😃 👍
Adoration, Adoration, Adoration
 
kittyplant said:
hi everyone.
i am still in the same dilemma from months ago. i am 6 months pregnant, i am not married. the baby’s father is a sweet person, but he does not believe in God and has some various problems.
  1. i do not want to give my baby up for adoption, so please no posts about that
  2. i have already been to catholic community services etc they are not involved, i couldnt find help with them, so no posts about that
what i do want advice on is this: i have feelings for baby’s father. i am pretty sure marriage is not the answer, so i know i should be operating with that in mind. even if we are not getting married, i care about him and want to keep him in my prayers.

i am now living thousands of miles away from my family. the only person who helps me is baby’s father. the only way for me to cut off the relationship with him, get away from temptation and move forward with God is if I move back to my family NOW before baby is born.

What I need from you guys is encouragement because I am afraid of moving. afraid I wont find the doctors I need ( i will have to reapply for medicaid in my home state). i feel it is what i have to do but i am sad and worried.
Click to expand...
Perhaps you should move in with your parents. Then maybe the child could have a stable home. Perhaps if he is a good man, the man would follow to be a dad.

Oh, the tangled webs we weave…

I hope for the best.
 
Why move at all? If you can be simply friends with the baby’s father that is a good thing. If he is bent on marriage you will have to make it clear that you are not going that direction. It seems that maybe going home is kind of a panic response, rather than a response of sticking to it. It would be understandable, but not really advisable unless the baby’s father is presenting you with some safety concerns.

If the father of your baby really cares about his child he will provide you with the needed support. If he starts to waiver on that you will know soon enough. I would keep making use of available assistance from the Church, other charities and stay put. But that is me. Not knowing the father of the child makes it hard for a person to suggest what you might do.

Remember this what ever you decide: Put the baby first. You are no longer in charge of your life, the baby is, and what the baby needs comes first, over your own desires and wishes. Do what keeps your child healthy, safe and happy. Even the father is second in line, but never the baby.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
Perhaps you should move in with your parents. Then maybe the child could have a stable home. Perhaps if he is a good man, the man would follow to be a dad.

Oh, the tangled webs we weave…

I hope for the best.
Click to expand...
yes, i would be planning to move in with my mother and grandparents who love God.
 
onegirlinchrist said:
Have you discussed the matter with a Priest? Perhaps marrying the baby’s father is the right thing to do. He is, after all, the father of your child. You said he is a sweet person and is helpful to you. Perhaps he will convert with time. I think in general it’s good for families to stay together. You have started a family with this man. Why must you necessarily part ways? Would be interesting to discuss this with a Priest, and just see what their advice is. Also, spend time with the Blessed Sacrament! Go to Eucharistic Adoration. Pray, pray, pray. If this man is caring and wants to be in your life and is willing to be a responsible provider, I would give him a chance. He may convert with time. Families belong together. As long as this man is not abusive, I personally think marrying and giving your child a father is important. Kids need dads. I would do everything possible to raise your child with a dad…not some other man, but the child’s actual dad. Tell this man how important it is that your child be raised with a father. With Jesus Christ’s help, healing, cooperation, and progress are all possible!
Click to expand...
yes, i have been speaking to priests this whole time. i have tried telling baby’s father what would be important to me in a marriage - it would not work. i am not planning on cutting him out of our lives, just putting God first in my life.
 
kittyplant said:
What I need from you guys is encouragement because I am afraid of moving. afraid I wont find the doctors I need ( i will have to reapply for medicaid in my home state). i feel it is what i have to do but i am sad and worried.
Click to expand...
Dear sister,
I left my abusive ex-husband when I was six months pregnant, took my 2 year old and went out on my own. I know how scary it can be. It was the right thing to do, and actually it was a relief, but it was hard. I had no family but a few good friends.
If you can get support from your family, it would be good to live near them. It’s hard taking care of a baby all on your own. You need baby sitters occasionally, for doctor appointments and so on. And you will need support eventually when you want to get a job or go to school. So it sounds like being close to family would be helpful.
If you don’t plan to marry the baby’s father, it may be best to look for support elsewhere. You both need to move on with your lives. He can offer financial support as much as possible, but if marriage is not in your plans, best to not rely on him for emotional support.
Just keep in mind that step fathers are much more likely to abuse their children than biofathers.
Raising a child on your own is not easy, but it can be done. And it’s much easier with grandparents helping you.
God bless.
 
Hey there, … Okay, First you CANNOT marry because your pregnant! Well you could and it may work out but A it would be a first and I’ve seen many; and B a very wise priest told me that getting married because of children is horrible. It is an affront to the sacrament, it puts children a head of you, ahead of your partner, your marriage and ahead of The Lord.

Realize that God has a plan and will never abandon you. Have faith, God takes care of the animals, plants and everything else, how much more important to him are you? (That’s a paraphrased quote thing just don’t know who or exactly what but it works). Anyway, have faith pray, oh and when my wife and I married I was Protestant and she was catholic, now I’ve done a full 180. Not saying it will happen for you but I’ll pray for you. Good luck, your not alone, have faith…
kittyplant said:
hi everyone.
i am still in the same dilemma from months ago. i am 6 months pregnant, i am not married. the baby’s father is a sweet person, but he does not believe in God and has some various problems.
  1. i do not want to give my baby up for adoption, so please no posts about that
  2. i have already been to catholic community services etc they are not involved, i couldnt find help with them, so no posts about that
what i do want advice on is this: i have feelings for baby’s father. i am pretty sure marriage is not the answer, so i know i should be operating with that in mind. even if we are not getting married, i care about him and want to keep him in my prayers.

i am now living thousands of miles away from my family. the only person who helps me is baby’s father. the only way for me to cut off the relationship with him, get away from temptation and move forward with God is if I move back to my family NOW before baby is born.

What I need from you guys is encouragement because I am afraid of moving. afraid I wont find the doctors I need ( i will have to reapply for medicaid in my home state). i feel it is what i have to do but i am sad and worried.
Click to expand...
 
kittyplant said:
hi everyone.
i am still in the same dilemma from months ago. i am 6 months pregnant, i am not married. the baby’s father is a sweet person, but he does not believe in God and has some various problems.
  1. i do not want to give my baby up for adoption, so please no posts about that
  2. i have already been to catholic community services etc they are not involved, i couldnt find help with them, so no posts about that
what i do want advice on is this: i have feelings for baby’s father. i am pretty sure marriage is not the answer, so i know i should be operating with that in mind. even if we are not getting married, i care about him and want to keep him in my prayers.

i am now living thousands of miles away from my family. the only person who helps me is baby’s father. the only way for me to cut off the relationship with him, get away from temptation and move forward with God is if I move back to my family NOW before baby is born.

What I need from you guys is encouragement because I am afraid of moving. afraid I wont find the doctors I need ( i will have to reapply for medicaid in my home state). i feel it is what i have to do but i am sad and worried.
Click to expand...
Praying to Our Lady of Guadalupe for the intentions of you & your baby.
 
kittyplant said:
yes, i have been speaking to priests this whole time. i have tried telling baby’s father what would be important to me in a marriage - it would not work. i am not planning on cutting him out of our lives, just putting God first in my life.
Click to expand...
Though I know it may seem unbelievably hard sometimes. You seem to be making the best choices you can now. Which is good. And everything will be ok when you have that baby in your arms and are in a safe loving environment. All the other stuff can be dealt with as it comes. Enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can and then enjoy that baby!
 
kittyplant said:
hi everyone.
i am still in the same dilemma from months ago. i am 6 months pregnant, i am not married. the baby’s father is a sweet person, but he does not believe in God and has some various problems.
  1. i do not want to give my baby up for adoption, so please no posts about that
  2. i have already been to catholic community services etc they are not involved, i couldnt find help with them, so no posts about that
what i do want advice on is this: i have feelings for baby’s father. i am pretty sure marriage is not the answer, so i know i should be operating with that in mind. even if we are not getting married, i care about him and want to keep him in my prayers.

i am now living thousands of miles away from my family. the only person who helps me is baby’s father. the only way for me to cut off the relationship with him, get away from temptation and move forward with God is if I move back to my family NOW before baby is born.

What I need from you guys is encouragement because I am afraid of moving. afraid I wont find the doctors I need ( i will have to reapply for medicaid in my home state). i feel it is what i have to do but i am sad and worried.
Click to expand...
You are doing the best thing for the baby and yourself and will feel much better after you are back home (a girl needs her Mom at times like this!) and are in familiar surroundings. Before you go, check out, online, all the doctors and hospitals who take Medicaid and make a list of the ones who sound good to you. When you get back, you can ask around and see if any of them stand out. Keep the dad advised of your progress and pray for him. These things have a way of working out in the end, the sooner you move, the better! :console:
 
Catholic1954 said:
You are doing the best thing for the baby and yourself and will feel much better after you are back home (a girl needs her Mom at times like this!) and are in familiar surroundings. Before you go, check out, online, all the doctors and hospitals who take Medicaid and make a list of the ones who sound good to you. When you get back, you can ask around and see if any of them stand out. Keep the dad advised of your progress and pray for him. These things have a way of working out in the end, the sooner you move, the better! :console:
Click to expand...
thank you
 
kittyplant said:
yes, i have been speaking to priests this whole time. i have tried telling baby’s father what would be important to me in a marriage - it would not work. i am not planning on cutting him out of our lives, just putting God first in my life.
Click to expand...
Good that you’ve been getting a second opinion and some guidance from a priest. God bless you as you move forward. Putting God first is always the right answer!👍
 
Move home. Leave the atheist. Marry a nice Catholic man.

Having some family around to lean on is a big help, especially if you’re a single mom. They can also give you support and advice and help you get your life together.

Don’t marry an atheist, particularly one you don’t even want to marry, just because he’s your baby daddy. These kind of marriages usually fail. Yes, it’s better if your kids have a father in their home, but I’m not so sure they are if he’s an atheist. They’d be much better off having a dad who is a good Catholic man.
 
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