"Feeling" the Real Presence?

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Cari

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Hey y’all-

I have a question that’s been weighing heavy on my soul for a while, and wonder if anyone could help out.

I know that love for Our Lord doesn’t necessarily mean “feeling” something anymore than love for my husband does.

What I mean is this: I can look at my sleeping husband, the man I’ve known and loved since I was 13, and not panic because I don’t “feel” love for him. The love I have for him is deeper than an emotion- it doesn’t have to manifest itself in a swooning of the heart or a rush of adreneline for me to know it’s real. The absence of a “feeling” doesn’t ever make me doubt my love for him (I hope this makes sense). In fact, it assures me that our love is deeper than the hormonally based, euphoric giddiness of “new love”, that it is something that has stood the test of time, and matured into something enduring.

However, when I receive the Eucharist, or when I spend some time in Adoration, I don’t feel anything either. But instead of instilling me with the same confidence in my relationship with Our Lord, it fills me with panic. I know that I shouldn’t depend on a feeling to “prove” to me that the Real Presence is real, but with my husband, I’ve had that initial giddiness. With Our Lord, I haven’t. With Our Lord, I sometimes wonder if the absence of a feeling is a comment on me. That I can’t feel it because I’ve failed to do something right. I wonder if the experience seems spiritually empty because I’M spiritually empty…?

Now, in the interest of full disclosure, most of the time I’m at Mass or Adoration I have at least one child under the age of 5 with me, and being 8 months pregnant means that I’m often distracted by physical discomfort- but is that it? I’m not one to judge the efficacy of worship by an abundance of emotion, in fact, religious worship that is marked by routine, excessive displays of emotion often leaves me wondering about the motivation of the congregation, but to feel nothing…? To sense nothing…?

Has anyone else gone through this? Does anyone have any advice for me? I don’t have the great spiritual “giftedness” of the saints, I know that I will never be the sort to experience Visitations, I’m not looking for that- what I am looking for is a way for me to help my physical nature connect with the spiritual nature of the Real Presence.

Thank you so much,
Cari

p.s. Re-reading this post, I am so frustrated by my inablility to express what I’m trying to say more clearly. I am usually very proud of the fact that I’m verbally gifted enough to convey the heart of my meaning through words, but this time, no matter how hard I try to edit, it’s not coming through. I hope that you’re able to understand my meaning, despite the ineffectiveness of my words.
 
Cari,

I’m sure some others will weigh in with great thoughts. Let me say from my own limited experience that when I was farthest from God, all of a sudden one day I “felt” the Real Presence. It continued quite strongly until (and a short time after) I had come back to the Chruch. These days I don’t always feel so much when I’m at Adoration or Communion.

So it can come and go.

Not to say this is the norm, or that anyone should be away from the Church in order to feel the presence of Christ! But I think God used that Adoration chapel to get my attention when I needed it most.
 
Have you prayed and asked God that you may feel his presence? He will show you.🙂 in his own time… and when he does you will know…I will pray for you:signofcross:
 
Cari said:
. . . when I receive the Eucharist, or when I spend some time in Adoration, I don’t feel anything either. But instead of instilling me with the same confidence in my relationship with Our Lord, it fills me with panic. I know that I shouldn’t depend on a feeling to “prove” to me that the Real Presence is real, but with my husband, I’ve had that initial giddiness. With Our Lord, I haven’t. With Our Lord, I sometimes wonder if the absence of a feeling is a comment on me. That I can’t feel it because I’ve failed to do something right. I wonder if the experience seems spiritually empty because I’M spiritually empty…?

. . . .

. . . to feel nothing…? To sense nothing…?

Has anyone else gone through this? Does anyone have any advice for me? I don’t have the great spiritual “giftedness” of the saints, I know that I will never be the sort to experience Visitations, I’m not looking for that- what I am looking for is a way for me to help my physical nature connect with the spiritual nature of the Real Presence.
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Cari,

I’m reviving this post because of a similar frustration. Now, a tremendous disclosure myself: I’m not yet a Catholic nor do I even attend Mass. But I’m strongly inclined to enter the Church in the near future. I’ve been watching The Journey Home, as well as participating on the forums. What I see often, especially on TJH, is a steady stream of individuals who as they were seeking to enter the Church, got to the point that they were desperately and almost maniacally craving the Eucharist. I don’t say this in any way to disparage them, but honestly, to my ears, the way some of these individuals speak about receiving the Eucharist is similar to the way you hear drug addicts describing the feeling they get when they need a “fix.” I suppose my attitude reveals what frustrates me, namely that although I fully believe in and accept that Jesus is mysteriously present in the Eucharist, I just cannot comprehend this zeal. I look forward to entering the Church, I desire to receive the graces that the Lord bestows in the Eucharist and other sacraments, but for the life of me, I can’t imagine getting all lathered up in emotion over it.

I don’t suppose this provided you any advice as to how to experience a closer connection to the Eucharist, but I do hope it provides you with a pleasant reminder that others are in your shoes and struggle just as much with the notion. I believe that ultimately, it is a personality issue more than an issue of one’s piety or devotion to the Lord. Your analogy to your husband is a particularly appropriate one. You love him, and occasionally you might experience a wave of emotion for no particular reason, but the fact that you don’t experience frequent emotional waves of desire for or attraction to your husband does not mean that you don’t love him.
 
I totally can agree. When I hear about people speak with such emotional furvor for the Eucharist I’m always a bit wistful.
 
“I do believe, help my unbelief!” - Mark 9:24

This is a desert that many of us get stuck in, more often than you imagine. A dead person could theoretically be given the Holy Eucharist, but it will not revive him or her. You have to be alive or open to the Holy Spirit to indeed feel anything at all. I admit, it is very difficult to be open to much of anything when you are constantly accompanied by a child. There were many days that I wished I came to Mass myself because I was not able to open myself to the presence of the Lord.

The way that I best connect to the Lord is by understanding His suffering. Have you seen The Passion of the Christ? There is a scene in which the Mother of our Lord wiped up His blood. Every part of Him was precious to her as is every part of your child to you. It is that love for Christ that we are called to have. How do you grow closer to the Real Presence? Through prayer and longing. Attend adoration as often as you can, and while there do not simply stare at the Eucharist reserved in the Monstrance. Get down on both knees, close your eyes, pray. If it helps you, bring a prayer book with you and just remain in His presence for awhile. If you truly hunger for Jesus, you will grow closer to the Eucharist. After receiving communion, return to your pew and kneel, close your eyes and thank Him for coming to you and pray, “I do believe, Help my unbelief.”
 
kell0618 said:
The way that I best connect to the Lord is by understanding His suffering. Have you seen The Passion of the Christ? There is a scene in which the Mother of our Lord wiped up His blood. Every part of Him was precious to her as is every part of your child to you. It is that love for Christ that we are called to have. How do you grow closer to the Real Presence?
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Something even better than The Passion of the Christ is a CD by Father Larry Richards entitled “What More Could He Do For You?” Devote two hours to listening to it and your life will be changed forever – you will look at sin, the mass, the Eucharist and confession in a completely different light.
 
Cari said:
Hey y’all-

I have a question that’s been weighing heavy on my soul for a while, and wonder if anyone could help out.

I know that love for Our Lord doesn’t necessarily mean “feeling” something anymore than love for my husband does.

What I mean is this: I can look at my sleeping husband, the man I’ve known and loved since I was 13, and not panic because I don’t “feel” love for him. The love I have for him is deeper than an emotion- it doesn’t have to manifest itself in a swooning of the heart or a rush of adreneline for me to know it’s real. The absence of a “feeling” doesn’t ever make me doubt my love for him (I hope this makes sense). In fact, it assures me that our love is deeper than the hormonally based, euphoric giddiness of “new love”, that it is something that has stood the test of time, and matured into something enduring.

However, when I receive the Eucharist, or when I spend some time in Adoration, I don’t feel anything either. But instead of instilling me with the same confidence in my relationship with Our Lord, it fills me with panic. I know that I shouldn’t depend on a feeling to “prove” to me that the Real Presence is real, but with my husband, I’ve had that initial giddiness. With Our Lord, I haven’t. With Our Lord, I sometimes wonder if the absence of a feeling is a comment on me. That I can’t feel it because I’ve failed to do something right. I wonder if the experience seems spiritually empty because I’M spiritually empty…?

Now, in the interest of full disclosure, most of the time I’m at Mass or Adoration I have at least one child under the age of 5 with me, and being 8 months pregnant means that I’m often distracted by physical discomfort- but is that it? I’m not one to judge the efficacy of worship by an abundance of emotion, in fact, religious worship that is marked by routine, excessive displays of emotion often leaves me wondering about the motivation of the congregation, but to feel nothing…? To sense nothing…?

Has anyone else gone through this? Does anyone have any advice for me? I don’t have the great spiritual “giftedness” of the saints, I know that I will never be the sort to experience Visitations, I’m not looking for that- what I am looking for is a way for me to help my physical nature connect with the spiritual nature of the Real Presence.

Thank you so much,
Cari

p.s. Re-reading this post, I am so frustrated by my inablility to express what I’m trying to say more clearly. I am usually very proud of the fact that I’m verbally gifted enough to convey the heart of my meaning through words, but this time, no matter how hard I try to edit, it’s not coming through. I hope that you’re able to understand my meaning, despite the ineffectiveness of my words.
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:eek: Is your middle name Yuna? Just curious. (look it up grasshopper)
 
Hello Cari! 🙂

For me the Eucharist became more meaningful and more spiritual when, of all things, I started a process of defending my faith. I was being challenged on many occasions by people questioning why Catholics and/or why I, believed in certain things. There were many good questions, and I began some self-analysis that still continues, though not in the same manner…

As I read books, prayed, looked things up on the internet, discussed with co-workers, began to read the Bible and joined some Bible studies, and much more, I found that instead of convincing anyone else of anything, the Lord was using these occasions to strengthen my faith; to call me into a deeper relationship, if you will. I began to go to Mass more often and consequently received Christ in the Eucharist more often as well. In some settings, these Masses were early week-day mornings with very limited attendance. I will tell you that in those times, I was sometimes very moved…

Subsequently, I became an Extra-ordinary Minister of the Eucharist and generally became more involved in my church as well as other churches in the area. I sincerely believe that the Holy Spirit has been very directive in my life. 🙂

So how does this help you? I’m not really sure, but let me try to give you a little solace and maybe some small suggestions that worked for me.

I read your post with much sympathy, for I read in it genuine concern, mixed with a dash of fear, perhaps (?), or at least a plea for some guidance. God hears it, too.

Knowing that God listens to us, and wants to help us is a good place to start, though I suspect you’re already aware of this. Still, to “speak” this to God in prayer is important. (Make sure you find a time and place where you can give yourself some alone-time with God.) Share with Him your heart, for God loves to hear that we desire him. Also, perhaps at another opportunity, I would read John 6 again, then try to fathom what this gift of Christ coming to us with such humility on His part, in such simple elements as bread and wine, dwelling in a tabernacle, entering into our lives (and our bodies), providing us the means for our salvation ("…unless you eat my flesh, you will have no life within you…"), etc. I’m sure you can contemplate something meaningful on your own. Please do so!

If you have a church where the tabernacle is approacahble, I would spend some time there as well. Just be in His presence. It doesn’t need to be long, but give Him your attention. Speak to Him in whatever words/thoughts are comfortable. If you receive the Lord in your hands at commuion, look at Him before you place Him on your tongue. I often find I say something like, “this is you Lord, this is you!”, or even “thank you Jesus”. The times at Mass during the consecration prayer have often taken a deeper meaning. “At supper, Jesus took bread into His hands…” - as I hear this I find myself sometimes looking at Jesus on the cross saying something like, “you did this for me, knowing my unworthiness, yet you did it for me!?”.

Somehow, through all of these grace directed recognitions, the Eucharist has taken a deeper significance in my life. And I know God wants this to be the case for you, too.

I hope some of this helps you too, Cari. I can only imagine how distracting it must be for you as you’ve described…

When you look at your children, when they’re sleeping, looking like innocent angels, do you ever stop and say a brief prayer for them? Do you give them a quick kiss or put your hand on their head and give them a blessing? Do you hope for their success and for goodness in their lives? Well, certainly God does this for us and more - much, much more. And in one aspect, He enters into our presence with such simpleness, that it’s hard to see His “God-ness”, yet there He is! How awesome is our God!?!

How awesome indeed!

God Bless you,
Steve
 
Cari: I think having a five yr old and being pregnant has a great deal to do with you not feeling the presence of God in the Eucharist. I know that when my children distract me I really struggle dont feel anything. But maybe if you went to a Mass without your five year old… and maybe just sit at church when its quiet and have a silent prayer. Ask God to help you know and feel his presence…

Many times though I didn’t “feel” anything not for long time so I changed what I was doing… I starting going to bible study, my family and I picked a parish we love, and we go to a mass that we enjoy… I read the bible durning the week if I can…and I pray… in the car… in the house… in the yard…anywhere… I would light a candle in my house and when I would look at the candle I would ask for Gods help or blessing… whatever was on my mind at the time… he knows your heart maybe try to make some small changes and he will be there for you…:hug1:
 
I heard a priest say that we shouldn’t put too much stock on good feelings, or “consolations.”

I read the very beginning of Dark Night of the Soul, but I didn’t finish it. I wasn’t ready for it, and I’m still nowhere near ready for it. But I remember that St. John of the Cross said that God sometimes deliberately takes away all spiritual consolations as a way of bringing us closer to perfection. I’ve also heard that Blessed Mother Theresa didn’t feel the presence of God for much of her life.

C.S Lewis in the Screwtape letters said that the devil is never more defeated when a Christian feels that God has completely abandoned him, but obeys God anyway.

So, maybe the lack of consolations could be a good thing. If nothing else, both St. John of the Cross and Blessed Mother Theresa would know what you were talking about, so you’re in good company.
 
I believe that the Lord is blessing us when He asks us to makes acts of faith with out will, and commit ourselves to Him with love in spite of not feeling His Presence or His sweetness.

Keep making acts of faith as you go through this, and He will bless you! It is easy to feel devoted and to pray when we feel His sweetness, but there comes a time when he wants us to reach for more and to become mature in the faith. He will give you His deeper peace if you remain with Him by continually making acts of faith in His Presence in spite of lack of emotion.

And, once you are aware of His deeper peace you will not want to let it go, but will want to be submissive to His Will in all things.

Blessings to you in your new pregnancy!

Peace,

Dorothy
 
In the first sentence of my previous message I meant to type “our will” NOT “out will”.
 
Let’s say you were going to get intimate with your husband. Would you be able to do this with your five year-old with you? Are you able to do it in the last months of pregnancy? (Some are, but certain positions are out of the question.)

My point is, yes, having children makes it difficult to “feel” close to Christ. When I was a Protestant, I attended a women’s seminar and the speaker talked about “seasons” of your life. She said that often, women try to escape from their current season and do something that really should wait until another season. For example, when a woman has small children and is still having babies, this is NOT the season to have a two-hour Bible study and prayer time every day! That season will come after the children are in school, or even grown-up and gone.

She said that when a woman has babies and little children, it is the season for small doses of God’s Word and prayer. A few minutes, that’s all.

Several other posters have mentioned the important of “faith” over “feelings.” Definitely. If you continue to serve God even when you don’t feel Him, THAT’s faith.

I have a suggestion, but it’s dangerous. Go to a Protestant “praise service,” perhaps at your local Assemblies of God church. See if you “feel” anything there. Maybe you won’t, but chances are good, you will if you like contemporary Christian music.

What IS that feeling? Is is really God? Or is it just emotion over good music, enthusiastic singing, and ecstatic utterings?

You see, feelings don’t mean much. Committment does.
 
I disagree that having young children and babies to take care of eliminates the possibility of a deep prayer life for a mother.

Of course, the time apportioned to prayer and study will be different than a person who is retired and can plan out, somewhat, their day.

The Holy Spirit has a way of showing you when times are available - it could be 20 minutes early in the morning, fifteen minutes in the afternoon, a certain amount of time (maybe ten minutes?) before bedtime, etc. This seemingly short times can help the young mother to focus and be in the Lord’s Presence while she goes about her daily tasks.

The Lord seeks out our company no matter what our state of life is. He wants to bless us and use us during our occupations.

Peace,

Dorothy
 
I will see if I can find the Saint, but there was a saint who NEVER, ever “felt” anything when receiving the Eucharist. Never.

But he continued on because he had faith.

Some people may be as this saint above. God wishes them to walk completely on faith without any reassurances. Other times, God withholds the “feelings” in order for us to draw closer to Him and seek His face with all our Heart and Soul.

I found once when I was a dark time of the soul, I kept praying that God would reassure me. But one day, I stopped to think about it. Mass is not about what I get out of it, but about worshipping God. About me giving my worship to God. So I went to Mass without kids. I was determined to give my whole self to God, worshipping Him and seeking nothing in return. I did not pray for any kind of reassurance but simply prayed for concentration to be able to worship Him fully.

In the end, I was given so much more than I gave:love:

For me, with kids, the intense concentration I had is not available often. And I know that God may not give me the same feelings He gave me at that Mass, but I do know that whenever I get into a dark place, if I just focus on Christ as fully as possible, focus on worshipping Him and giving to Him, instead of what I want/need/miss, and I always end up in a better place:)

I always think of the story of Christ at the well when He asked the woman for a drink. He said if you knew who I was, you would be asking me for a drink. But Christ asked for a drink. He wants our worship, just as we want to “drink” from Him.
 
I am overwhelmed, humbled more than a little (hormonally-influenced) teary at the generosity of your responses to me. Thank you all- there are a lot of great tips, advice, and encouragement for me in these posts. God bless.

My husband and I attended Mass at a small little parish in the Smoky Mountains this weekend (both children were with Grandma and Grandpa back home), and something about the change of scenery, the chance to attend Mass without a 5 and 2 year old climbing over me, and a choir that wasn’t a literal distraction made a difference. It was a very meaningful Mass, and I felt that I was able to participate in it to an extent I haven’t been in a while.

In particular, I want to thank Cat for this:
Cat said:
Let’s say you were going to get intimate with your husband. Would you be able to do this with your five year-old with you? Are you able to do it in the last months of pregnancy? (Some are, but certain positions are out of the question.)
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Thank not only made my day and gave me a laugh, but it also made a lot of sense. Thank you.
 
Hi Cari, the other posters have already said so much, but here’s my 2 cents worth.

Some background:
  1. Remember that love is a choice, NOT something that “just happens to you.” We choose to love our spouses, children, etc. but most of all we choose to love God. If God forced us to love him, it wouldn’t be love because we need to choose it, not be driven by it somehow. This is God’s gift of free will.
  2. Blessed are those who have not seen but have believed.
I have this theory - or maybe I read it someplace - that if God were to give us an overwhelming vision / feeling / etc, that it would essentially take away our free will. For example, if during every consecration, the host suddenly started emitting a bright light that nobody could explain, that would be such an overwhelming proof of God in the Eucharist that it would be de-facto undeniable. There would be no choice, we WOULD believe it. Even the most avowed atheists would have to believe it. Ditto with “If God gave everybody a feeling…”

We only have free will (and therefore true love) if there is some uncertainty about what it is we are choosing. Or believing.

Just keep choosing to believe. Our primary reward is in the next life, not in this one. And the reward is for having faith in the midst of uncertainty.

At least, that’s how I think about it 🙂
 
ricmat said:
Hi Cari, the other posters have already said so much, but here’s my 2 cents worth.

Some background:
  1. Remember that love is a choice, NOT something that “just happens to you.” We choose to love our spouses, children, etc. but most of all we choose to love God. If God forced us to love him, it wouldn’t be love because we need to choose it, not be driven by it somehow. This is God’s gift of free will.
  2. Blessed are those who have not seen but have believed.
I have this theory - or maybe I read it someplace - that if God were to give us an overwhelming vision / feeling / etc, that it would essentially take away our free will. For example, if during every consecration, the host suddenly started emitting a bright light that nobody could explain, that would be such an overwhelming proof of God in the Eucharist that it would be de-facto undeniable. There would be no choice, we WOULD believe it. Even the most avowed atheists would have to believe it. Ditto with “If God gave everybody a feeling…”

We only have free will (and therefore true love) if there is some uncertainty about what it is we are choosing. Or believing.

Just keep choosing to believe. Our primary reward is in the next life, not in this one. And the reward is for having faith in the midst of uncertainty.

At least, that’s how I think about it 🙂
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I can only agree.

From experience, the Lord has been good enough to give me feelings of comfort, or “giddiness” as the OP put it. However, he doesn’t do it all the time. He withholds it often so that I will love him with my will and not only when I feel like it.

I would like to think that’s what the Lord also intends in the OP’s case. Just let your love of the Eucharist be an act of the will, and not based on feelings, just like any other true love.
 
I may not always be able to feel His presence, but I sure EDIT can feel when it’s not there. Kinda like a holy geothermal heat pump.

But 3 minutes of somebody picking strings on a wooden box and singing can change my feelings, so I don’t but too much stock in what they (feelings) have to say about anything.
 
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