snowman10:
I went to Mass tonite and I realized how tired I am and how hopeless I feel. I grew up Methodist but I fell away from that and was atheist. Then I found Catholicism and thought that it was the greatest, and I still feel it is. I just feel tired now though. I have been exploring the Church for a year and a half, and the knowledge I have of the Faith now is pretty much what I had 6 months into it. I know its the true church and I know Jesus is our Savior. But I am stuck now. I either have to go through with RCIA and do what God wants me to, and upset my family. Or I appease my family and remain a member of the Methodist church until I am no longer a dependent or till they die. I just feel like God wants me home, but on the other side is my family pulling and with secular society. I was even disappointed with Mass tonite.** I am one of those people who needs the visuals,** i.e crucifix, Mary, and other aids, but we had Mass in my college’s chapel…which is Presbyterian. Maybe I just need to go all out and get my butt in RCIA.
Any helps or comments?
DU
Don’t give up! This is a potentially grace-filled time for you.
Quick question, first: when you say that the knowledge you have of the faith is pretty much what you had 6 months into it, do you mean that you want to learn more but have stalled out in the learning process, or do you mean that you don’t know what else there is to learn, or perhaps don’t know *where *else to learn more?
Your profile says that you are a 19 year old college student. Praise God for calling you to Him at 19! But also, recognize that the idea of adding yet another class (for RCIA) to your busy schedule might be part of what’s making you feel tired. Try not to think of RCIA as such…think of it instead as a mini-retreat for yourself each week (or however frequently they meet.)
As for “needing the visuals”…let me share this with you: During my return home to the Church, I was looking for a parish to join that had a good contemporary choir. I thought I needed that in order to “get” the most out of Mass. Somehow I ended up at a super-traditional church: gothic appearance, huge organ, and one cantor. I don’t know why I kept going back; it wasn’t the kind of Mass I was looking for, right? After a few months, I realized that it was
because there was no choir that I was focusing more on the words of the liturgy. The simplicity & purity of the liturgy helped me fall in love even more with the Mass.
I share that with you just in case you might ask yourself if you really “need” the visuals, or if this might be a time to focus your attention elsewhere, and give your eyes a rest? Just a thought.
Temptation is real. All kinds of ways “out” will likely present themselves to you. Why should the enemy make it easy for another soul to come into the fullness of the faith? Read through the book of Psalms for inspiration when you feel tired and hopeless…and be revived! I’ll pray for you tonite. Tell us how else we can help you. Bless you!
You’re in my prayers. Thanks and God Bless.
Now you got it! The way home is actually a short journey. “From the head to the heart.” 