Feeling uncertain. Encouragement welcome

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JoyToTheWhirled

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So I nearly made it. And then at Christmas, life came crashing in with my brother’s cancer and my husband’s opposition, and I never made it over the Tiber. I thought the Orthodox might be an alternative, but they aren’t.

The life issues have mostly been resolved, and I know that I will have to start RCIA all over again. But I am afraid i have fluffed up by getting halfway and backing out. I don’t know if I will be welcome to start again and to be honest, I feel very foolish.

I went back to Mass today and my husband said he was glad I did because he knows it makes me happy. It felt like home, but I know it isn’t yet because I am not Catholic, even though my heart burns at the thought that Christ is truly present there.

I feel silly even typing this, but does anyone have encouragement for a daft woman who doesn’t quite know what to do?
 
I said a prayer to the Blessed Mother for you; that you can find some calm and peace, and that everything works out for you. Take care.
 
JoyToTheWhirled said:
I feel silly even typing this, but does anyone have encouragement for a daft woman who doesn’t quite know what to do?
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Just hang in there. We all make mistakes, and we all do things,* or don’t do things*, we later regret. Believe me I’ve made more than my fair share.

Tomorrow’s another day - you’ll still be there, the church will still be there - the problem you face isn’t availability - it’s your psychological mood.

Start again, and in the meantime learn more about the faith you’re getting into so that next time you’re better prepared, and will have less hesitation about making the jump. It wasn’t your husband’s opposition that stopped you - it was those still nagging doubts in your own mind.

As I said at the start, just hang in there, and start again.
 
JoyToTheWhirled said:
So I nearly made it. And then at Christmas, life came crashing in with my brother’s cancer and my husband’s opposition, and I never made it over the Tiber. I thought the Orthodox might be an alternative, but they aren’t.

The life issues have mostly been resolved, and I know that I will have to start RCIA all over again. But I am afraid i have fluffed up by getting halfway and backing out. I don’t know if I will be welcome to start again and to be honest, I feel very foolish.

I went back to Mass today and my husband said he was glad I did because he knows it makes me happy. It felt like home, but I know it isn’t yet because I am not Catholic, even though my heart burns at the thought that Christ is truly present there.

I feel silly even typing this, but does anyone have encouragement for a daft woman who doesn’t quite know what to do?
Click to expand...
You’ve got a lot on your plate right now and are not “daft”!

You are always welcome back. I was raised Catholic, fell away time and again, got into astrology, tarot, a cult and worse, and I’ve come back. So, it goes to show one can come back at any time (before death!).

You’re doing the right thing by going back to mass.

I’ve noticed the times I’ve gotten into most trouble has ALWAYS been when I’m away from the Church. Have you noticed that yet?

What’s most important is what you do, now.

Praying for you and yours.
 
I think that you are being much too hard on yourself. It is not uncommon for a journey home to the Church to take years. Having personal issues and distractions is nothing to be ashamed of. Talk to your pastor and/or RCIA director. Depending on your situation, your pastor might receive you into the Church in less than another full year.
 
Writing your post shows you’ve already started back but you’re not starting from nought because you’ve gained real-life experiences you didn’t have before. We admire people not because they’ve overcome their problems but because they’ve achieved their goal in spite of them.

You may have heard the phrase, “Offer it up.” Well, we would prefer to give only good things to God so why would we want to offer our “bad”? This makes sense to you and me however, it is what God offers in His Mercy. So, I’ll propose a slight change in wording that has helped me: “Yield it up to God.”

What will it take for us to let go? Humility is always a good first step. “Yield it up.”

Looking forward to your return.
 
I had a very Holy priest once tell me about a saint’s words on ‘changing the past’. I wish I could remember which saint it was, but this is what is important, “He said he wouldn’t change a thing, not even the sins he committed in the event that it would have possibly altered the course of his salvation.”

Now, not quite making it over the Tiber isn’t necessarily a sin, or the end of your chance to become Catholic and be welcomed Home. But, you feel bad about it, or maybe overly disappointed.

Now, just think of that. Maybe you are going to rejoice that much more when you finally get your First Communion! Maybe it is unfolding right now just as it should. Like other stated, one food in front of the other! You will make it!

God bless you, you are in my prayers.
 
So many people go back and forth for years: and this is *good, *because it shows they understand the depth of the commitment they are considering, and their integrity that they want to make it wholeheartedly. So don’t beat yourself up! You’re in good company 🙂

And even Catholics have their times when they go back and forth…

This is also an interesting time in which you can gain Catholic habits and develop your yearning for Christ. Not being able to have something can make our desire for it greater, and this period of waiting can be very good.
 
Of course you will be welcomed back! Praying things work out for you this time through!
 
Don’t feel foolish. Your situation isn’t common, but it isn’t unique, and I’m sure that you’re still welcome. 🙂
 
Thank you everyone, just what I really needed to read in my confusion and doubt 🙂 You have helped me get some perspective. Don’t know why that is so hard to hold on to but sometimes circumstances overwhelm.
 
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