Feelings about marriage

[phil8888]

Hi guys, what’s a normal range of emotion when contemplating proposing to a girlfriend and marriage? I am planning on proposing to my gf, and I was thinking that we would be so happy together and do a lot of fun things. We love each other a lot. Is it normal to also have fears? Let me know your feelings.

 

[Chiltepin]

That depends on what sort of fears.

Normal Fears might include:
-Will she say yes?
-Will the ring fit?
-What will her/my parents think?
-Is this each of our vocations?

Abnormal fears might include:
-shark attacks on dry land
-the Mayan Doomsday prophesy interfering with your plans

So… what types of fears are we talking about? (You are by no means restricted to my list )

What types of “fun things” did you have in mind and does she have similar expectations? Many of your fears may be able to be relieved by up front conversations with her about each of your expectations.

Congratulations! What an exciting time in your life!

 

[Theresa_Duyen]

You are going to the most important turning point in your lifetime. Your life will be changed forever. Yes, your fear is normal.

 

[bnbkaine]

I, myself, was worried about shark attacks on dry land, but I said “yes” to my husband any way and 12 years later, we have been free of sharks. Thanks be to God!!!

I highly recommend full disclosure between spouses or those thinking of becoming spouses. Your gf may also have fears, but facing them together is a good start to a long life of commitment. Good luck!!!

 

[srlucado]

It would be foolish not to have fears.

This isn’t a big step–it’s a *huge *step. There’s no turning back. Proceed carefully and prayerfully.

 

[sheilathebard]

I’d think something was wrong if you weren’t scared! This is a big decision after all!

 

[phil8888]

Thanks guys. I believe marriage is permanent. I think a lot of people may not be as scared of marriage these days because they just believe well if anything really bad happens, divorce is an option. but I don’t believe that.

 

[Chiltepin]

Thanks guys. I believe marriage is permanent. I think a lot of people may not be as scared of marriage these days because they just believe well if anything really bad happens, divorce is an option. but I don’t believe that.

I would think that causes people to be more scared, you never know if your spouse is going to up and leave you. If your wife-to-be feels the same way you do about divorce, that should be comforting rather than scary. If you differ on this issue, I can see why you would be scared.

 

[phil8888]

We don’t differ. We are both totally opposed to divorce. I can see your point. I saw a show one time and he said he wants to take his wife for granted. that sounds really bad. but his point was that he didn’t want to always be thinking that maybe she’ll leave me and be worried about it, just like if you were dating or something.

but I can also see how people might go into marriage with a contingency plan thinking, if this gets bad I can bail. and somehow I think that would be more than the other fear.