Feels so empty here!

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April

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My first thread on this site, so little nervous. Please be kind. 🙂 I am beyond frustrated with parish. Myself and my two boys just came into full communion at this Easter Vigil and I feel I can turn my prayers to this subject now. Before I felt this way but going thru the Lent season and Scrutinies and lessons was just to overwhelming to think on this. I live in an area where less than 1% is Catholic. I am of Mexican heritage and grew up around Houston, Texas, USA. My family had many traditions and events thru, with, around and from the Catholic faith. Yet coming into the church here is soooooo sad, dry, … Just empty. I try to tell my boys and husband about the beauty and strength of the Faith but here there is just nothing! This Lent they had Stations of the Cross but not every Friday! I showed up to a locked church. They were having a fundraising fish fry and no one crosssed parking lot to have Stations??? I was shocked. I attend one parish on Sunday for mass and another during week. They only have Mass on Wednesday night. Confession only goes for about 15 min before Mass and you have to HOPE to make it in. The priest is new and young and I pray for him a lot. I send text messages but he doesn’t respond until weeks later. There are no classes, no outreach, nothing. They have nothing for kids except for one hour after Mass. It is just so dry! I try to bring up different things for out reach, and parish dinners, classes, … So many things. I even offered to help in office FREE of payment just to help out… I get nothing but Silence.
 
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Congratulations April. Welcome home. Is there a bigger church that holds more , near you?
My rural church opens once a fortnight for Mass. For anything else we go to the Cathedral at the regional centre.
 
No, I am disabled and have no vehicle. The Deacon from the Sunday parish drives over the the mountain to get me and my kids. I walk over 2 miles each way to get to the Wednesday night Mass here, but sometimes I get a ride home.
 
Well, first of all April, welcome to the Church!

It does sound frustrating what you’re experiencing. Do you have EWTN on your television?

That is a great way to experience the beauty of the Faith, even though you are somewhat isolated.
 
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I don’t have television service. No room in budget for TV. I use phone data and after it is used up it runs VERY slow, lol. I try to read on EWTN site plus here on this site and any thing I can borrow off the shelves from church. It just seems there is a rich buffet of the Faith but here I get peanuts. So frustrated. When I do something that is off tradition or spiritually moving, they look at me like I am from the planet Mars!
 
It is very sad that there isn’t much Catholic culture in your area to uplift and inspire your faith life. I would encourage you to take part in what the Church does offer when possible and to otherwise enrich your little domestic church at home as best you can.

You can follow the liturgical calendar to see the particular feast day or solemnity that is being celebrated on any given date and gather your family to say a special prayer to them that day. If it’s a saint that holds special meaning for your family, you may want to prepare a meal or even just a dessert in honor of that saint for that day and tell their story at the dinner table. A small prayer table somewhere in your home or even just the center of your kitchen table can be a focal point to put holy reminders of the day or season. A small cross, holy cards, your holy water bottle you fill for your home, a statue of Mary, Jesus or a saint, a rosary etc can be placed there. Maybe a candle is lit if your family gathers there daily for simple prayers or if it’s on your dinner table, it can be lit to signify the importance of family meal time. Perhaps a few wild flowers in a vase for Our Lady on her feast days.

One simple thing my family does is have a “carpet picnic” on St. Joseph’s feast day. We lay down some quilts and have a picnic on the living room floor to remember how Joseph and Mary often ate on the run during their journeys to Bethlehem, Egypt, Jerusalem and Nazareth. Have an Advent wreath and prayers during that season and pray the stations as a family on Fridays during Lent.

Sometimes there’s not much we can do to influence the wider culture (although we should try), but there is always something we can do about the culture in our own homes with our family and including others when they visit.

Here is a link to the Catholic Culture website’s Liturgical Year calendar. Every day it will tell you about the feasts and seasons the worldwide Church is celebrating (even if locally you don’t see much) so you can join in as much or as little as your like.

www.catholicculture.org

Easter Monday - April 02, 2018 - Liturgical Calendar

The Lord has risen from the dead, as he foretold. Let there be happiness and rejoicing for he is our King forever, alleluia. According to Moses and the prophets Christ was to suffer all
www.catholicculture.org www.catholicculture.org

Here is a nice family blog that has many ideas to explore for enriching the culture in your home from Catholic books to read, to family prayers and celebrations, to cleaning, cooking and parenting tips. Just tons on information.

likemotherlikedaughter.org

Like Mother, Like Daughter

because it's important to maintain the collective memory.
likemotherlikedaughter.org likemotherlikedaughter.org
 
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Ohhhhhh, beautiful! Thank you for links. Yes, we have a home alter and do crafts for the seasons. We use the liturgical colors in the home and play “Who’s that Saint” game. As a family we say the Rosary, chaplets, novenas, and Litanies. Our Saints are Rita, Andrew, and Francis. We folded palms, and have those up. Plus the boys like to try to guess the color of my veil for Mass. I keep them guessing until I come out of bedroom with it in my hand. Lol
 
It sounds like you are already well on your way to bringing the beauty of the faith into your home. Your children will remember these things most of all because it involves them in such a personal and special way. Like I said, even though your Church doesn’t offer much, try to participate when you can. Sometimes these devotions and activities can fall by the wayside when there doesn’t seem like there is much interest from parishioners. You can do your part to help support the little they do by showing up whenever it’s possible and thanking your priest for having them. It may help him open his eyes to the hunger people have for these community devotions when he gets so much appreciation for the ones he does offer.

Welcome home!

PS- I’m going to change your post to the Spirituality forum. You will get more traffic there and perhaps more advice than in the Casual discussion thread.
 
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I will include your parish in my prayers. It is good that you bring this up because it shows your concern with the lack of ‘life’ in this church. You can be the light that shines in the darkness around you. Perhaps you can start with this church and see what you can do.

God bless.
 
April:
It sounds like you are looking for spiritual outlets. Some suggestions:
  1. Download on your phone the app Relevant Radio. It is a Catholic station with many great speakers, such as Patrick Madrid and Fr Simon.
  2. Download the phone app EWTN. They have mass every day on there and you can join in.
  3. I suggest putting a message in the church bulletin. Something like, meet every day at 8am to pray the rosary and read the days church reading. This might fail depending on how many are in your area with that kind of time. Perhaps try for just Saturday, and if many show up ask if they would be interested to meet daily.
 
Love it! I will get them. Suggestion 3 , hmmmmm I have no car and would need to walk 2 miles to church. It would take me at least an hour to get there so 8 time frame would not work. I could try the Saturday time frame, but I don’t know if that would work either because of church schedule. I get the idea though, find a time that is workable and try to start it up.
 
Hi April:

Welcome into the Faith!

First, what is going on is really bad management of Catholic Church resources. Sadly, this is not surprising. Recently, a priest wrote an article railing against parishes that have Confession times in their bulletins as “by appointment only”.

Second, there’s no excuse for this kind of behavior. You’re likely to hear about how priests are overworked or how people don’t have time…yada yada. Well guess what? The devil has all the time in the world.

I am glad you are continuing to reach out. I would suggest speaking with some senior members of the parish about taking up these concerns to the bishops.

Because this nonsense and these excuses is how we lose people.
 
April, I strongly suggest getting a bike. Most of your complaints really seem to have to do with the commute and a bike would solve them. Especially since you only live 2 miles away.
 
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I’m glad you said you that. I have been praying about taking it to the Bishop or not. I tried to reason that since I was “new” to the Faith I was being over zealous, like newly weds saying how they are sooooooo in love and being all cuddly duddly and those married for years and years are more comfortable in their lives. I said to myself how the Priest is stretched thin and he is only human and how we should support him. Well, all that is true but there are times we need to speak out. At Mass right before elevation of Host he used a purificator to pop a fly off the alter. I nearly fainted! He used it like you would wind up a towel to pop/snap someone. Then another Mass he fell asleep in chair during reading and nearly fell out but jerked awake moments before he toppled. Lots of other things and moments that just add up to real big OH NO! He is so lovable and kind, but just… maybe inexperienced? The same board members have been in their positions for over 5 years because they all vote for each other. With me being new I am trying to learn when to speak up and when to hush and pray.
 
April said:
I attend one parish on Sunday for mass and another during week. They only have Mass on Wednesday night. Confession only goes for about 15 min before Mass and you have to HOPE to make it in. The priest is new and young and I pray for him a lot. I send text messages but he doesn’t respond until weeks later. There are no classes, no outreach, nothing. They have nothing for kids except for one hour after Mass. It is just so dry! I try to bring up different things for out reach, and parish dinners, classes, … So many things. I even offered to help in office FREE of payment just to help out… I get nothing but Silence.
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Welcome to the Church. I see your frustration, but let’s try to look at this from a realistic perspective.

The priest is new and young, and it sounds like he is probably not only inexperienced but overworked.
If the priest is being stretched to the limit of his time and abilities, that’s just how it is, and you’re going to have to be patient and find ways to work with him.

I presume based on your post that the things you are texting him about are ideas that you have for stuff you would like to see done or do for outreach. Let’s think of this in the same terms as you pitching an idea to your boss at work. First of all, some people are not very responsive to texts, or they get so many that they have to pick and choose what they answer. If he doesn’t respond to texts for weeks, it would probably be better to find another way to communicate with him.

Second, pitching new ideas is best done face to face (unless your target is on another continent or something - even then a lot of people would use a video chat). That way you can see right away how your idea is being received, like instant feedback, and you can answer questions that the other person might have, etc. If you want to talk to the priest about something like a new idea you have or a way to improve something, I would suggest you try to approach him after Mass or, if that’s too hectic a time, you telephone him and talk. Don’t just send him a text and wait for him to get back to you on that. It will likely go in the “unimportant” file while he responds to the more urgent needs people have for sacraments, etc. And don’t be surprised if he or the staff perhaps refer your call to someone else.

Third, you are new to this church and you already seem to have 25 ideas how to do things better. While it’s great that you are enthusiastic, anyone who is new to an organization or a team and comes in with all these ideas, plans, complaints is probably not going to be well received. I would suggest that you pick one or two ideas you think are the most important, and concentrate on trying to get those established and see if you can also enlist the support of people who have been there a long time, so it’s not just coming from you as a “newbie”.

(continued next post due to character limits)
 
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(continued from previous post)

Fourth, you offering to help out in the office for free may not be seen as a helpful gesture. Having an extra person in an office is a complication even if they aren’t being paid; someone still needs to supervise the volunteer and give them tasks, or make sure they work on the right tasks, and make sure they don’t disrupt the existing office processes. If the extra person is giving the impression they want to come in and change a lot of stuff or put a bunch of new processes in place, then the existing office staff are probably going to say “thanks but no thanks”. Adding people to the office may also be seen as a case of too many cooks spoiling the broth. If you want to volunteer, it’s better to pick some opportunity that the Church has advertised as needing volunteers, e.g. “we need people to help out with the X event on night Y” rather than trying to inject yourself into an area where they haven’t specifically asked for help.

Also, you mention that you’re having transportation issues and that for Sunday you have to get a ride with the Deacon and for Wednesday you have to walk 2 miles each way. I would suggest that if you want to get more active with helping out in either of these two churches, you solve the transportation issue first - perhaps by getting a bike as someone else suggested.

I think all the things you’re doing with your family are awesome. To be honest, these personal things you do with your kids are likely to make more impression on them than if the church was running some program. Many of us are very strongly influenced in our faith by our memories of beloved parents “living their faith” and doing devotions at home. I remember when I was a very young child, having, with the help of my mom, a “birthday party” for the Blessed Mother on her feast day, with all of my dolls as party guests and the Blessed Mother statue as the guest of honor, and milk and cookies. This was likely the beginning of Marian devotion for me, and made a much stronger impression than most of the stuff we did at church or Catholic school.
 
About him being young and etc. yes, I thought that too. I made another post mentioning that.
About texting and approaching face to face. I have approached him face to face and he says to text him about it, so, lol, I do.
About being new. I meant that I was new to being Catholic in full communion. I have been part of this church and attending since 2015. So I have been around since the previous priest was here too.
I offered to help at office ONLY because the lady who works there mentioned how over worked she was and her time was stretched thin. I have office experience and thought it would help. I understand your point about training and totally agree. Maybe that is why they have not got anyone to help. However, if she is going to tell people how stretched, tired, and over worked, then refuse help, leaves me wondering why?
 
April said:
I meant that I was new to being Catholic in full communion. I have been part of this church and attending since 2015. So I have been around since the previous priest was here too.
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With all due respect, you’re still “new”. 3 years is not a very long time to be part of a parish where many people have been there longer. And you’re “new to the faith”. Catholics tend to look a little bit askance at people who have just become full communicants and want to make a lot of changes. Although most won’t say so out loud, they may very well feel that you should be concentrating on your spiritual life and not trying to change everything right now.

if the priest has specifically asked that you text him, and still isn’t responding, then my guess is he didn’t want to put you off entirely, but he still doesn’t have time. See if there’s someone else like a church secretary you can deal with. Often the administrative people handle most everything and very little gets filtered to the priest. However, the priest is never going to tell someone “I’m too busy to talk, call the secretary” because then they get mad and leave the Church. His slow response however is suggesting to me that he really is too busy.

As for the overworked lady…she just wanted to complain/ vent and have people sympathize. She didn’t really want someone jumping in offering to help with her job. I see this all the time. If it’s a paid job for her, she might also worry about an unpaid volunteer disrupting her job security or even trying to take her own job.
 
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The overworked lady IS the secretary! Lol. Plus I am not wanting to “change everything” . I am wanting to begin different functions of worship, prayer, and community. I have concentrated on my spiritual and prayer life which is the reason I see things missing.
 
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