Female Impotence Questions

[Nate13]

No.
I specifically said the husband was “not knowing for sure if he will be able to or won’t”.
They can hope, each time, that the equipment might work.

Are you willingly to see your husband disappointed all those times? True intent, will mean true remorse when it does not happen. Could you stand the guilt that might cause?

 

[Nate13]

Oh, I think he’d regret more the not-trying.
Also, I think he’d be very happy to still have some unitive sex rather than none at all!

How can you truly appreciate sexual pleasure that is only achieved for one person, when the sexual pleasure has been created to be experienced by both male and female together?

Its usually women who are in this position and can’t achieve orgasm. This does not bode well for relationships usually, and I can’t imagine purposefully putting myself in a situation like that where I knew it was just not going to happen. This reeks of having a strong tendency to end up having one or the other partner end up feeling like they are being used.

 

[thistle]

So then older people shouldn’t get married?

Why would you say that?
If older people are not impotent then why should they not get married?

 

[thistle]

Also….if a wife never has orgasms, that doesn’t constitute “not completing the act”, according to the definition you posted earlier, right?

So nothing stops anyway.
If the wife can never, ever “achieve orgasms”, the couple still continues to have sex and the husband continues having orgasms, I think?

But that would make the wife feel used, I think you are saying.

So…if this was your situation, would you then agree to live chastely with her for the rest of your lives so that she would not feel used?

NO! The sexual act is completed by the husband climaxing inside his wife.

 

[TrueLight]

The vast majority of “older women” would much prefer a hug, cuddle, and a kiss to anything more! The sex drive is largely decreased by then.

By when? 65? 70? 75? Not from the conversations I overhear.

 

[Catholic90]

By when? 65? 70? 75? Not from the conversations I overhear.

Then we run in far different circles. Cuz it sure does from the conversations I overhear, those I have with people, and TMI from my friends!

 

[Nate13]

But that’s what I’m saying.
Correct me if I’m wrong:

If the husband can never, for sure, have orgasms, the act is incomplete.
Therefore, they must stop having sex forever.
And the husband is not allowed to give his wife orgasms on her own, not even for unity’s sake.

Sexual pleasure is not there to be pursued just for the sake of itself.

If the wife can never have orgasms, the act is still complete.
So they can keep on having sex.
And he keeps on having orgasms.
But she does not.

Correct?

Yes, the male orgasm and female orgasm have different inherent purposes. If the women is repeatedly unable to achieve orgasm though, I would hope that is not the fault of the male in not putting forward the effort to do so. An act where one of the two people repeatedly gets more out of it than the another person, is going to have an inherent inequality that will work to try and drive the two apart. The man is responsible for making the act as unitive as possible, while still upholding the procreative purpose. Procreative sex that is not unitive is wrong as well.

But Nate was talking about feelings, earlier.
And commenting on my example that if a husband could not have orgasms for twenty years but the wife could, it would leave a man feeling used if they continued to try having sex…that it would “not bode well for the relationship” and it is better for them to stop.

I was asking you questions to make you think. Everything seems really simple until you are there in that situation. People don’t always act like you think they should, or come to the same “reasonable” conclusions you do.

But if we switch the situation and the husband is having orgasms and the wife is not, the wife would feel “used” too, right?
So does it not make sense that they stop having sex in that case, too?

(I don’t think I’ve ever written the word “orgasm” so many times in my life. Thank goodness I’m incognito)

Yes, thus why the unitive meaning of sex is right up there in importance with the procreative meaning. The same diligence that is used to make sure sex is ordered towards procreation should be used to make sure sex is unitive. You can’t cast aside the purpose of procreation though in order to fulfill the unitive purpose, just as you cannot do the opposite either.

 

[Bookcat]

Climax on the part of the wife is not “necessary” for the intercourse (not saying such is not “an important part” I am speaking canonically in terms of the question). Her inability to have it in that way does not effect the validity of the marriage. Such does not constitute impotence.

 

[Bookcat]

Yep, we know all that. Already covered.

This “sub-topic” is regarding emotional “feelings” and “unity”, rather than validity. And how important those are, for both partners.

um…ok.

They are important

(though depending on various circumstances …may not be cooperative…which of course does not change the reality of marriage )

Next thread …hee hee.

 

[Nate13]

um…ok.

They are important

(though depending on various circumstances …may not be cooperative…which of course does not change the reality of marriage )

Next thread …hee hee.

What Bookcat said.

 

[Geaux_LSU]

Holy Scripture demands husbands to “love your wives, as Christ loved the Church.”

If a husband is neglecting his wife’s needs (not just during sex, but everyday life) it is wrong because he is being selfish. Christ’s love for His church is abundant, overflowing, and totally self-giving.

Canon law or not, it’s about love.

 

[Elle_C]

I had to cut off your post because the post was too long.

1. A woman who is “frigid” may have a medical or psychological condition – such as a hormonal imbalance, vaginismus (painful intercourse), of any number of conditions. Speaking with a medical doctor would be warranted. Also, depending on age, menopause can cause a lack of interest (decreased hormones) in sex and painful intercourse. There are bio-identical treatments that are safe. A doctor can help with that, one who work with bio-identicals if it’s a post-menopausal or hormonal problem.
2. I didn’t read the article but I know this old debate.

The clitoris is the only organ that has no purpose other than sexual, unlike the male organ. I disagree with the debate over the quality of the vaginal orgasm as opposed to the clitoral orgasm, otherwise why would women have a clitoris at all?

Freud is to blame for this. Kinsey criticised Freud’s assumption that a clitoral orgasm was “adolescent” (causing a lot of women to feel inadequate), whereas Kinsey’s research believed that the clitoris was the main stage for orgasm. He also claimed that this led to a male construct of the female orgasm. Masters and Johnson agreed, as did the Mayo clinic and others. However, the purpose of penetration is that it gives the woman of feeling of fullness or being complete – and close to her partner, but the distinction between a clitoral and a vaginal orgasm is false because the vaginal walls have few nerve endings. Now, some are saying the so-called G-spot is a myth too.

The Clinical Psychology Review lists 26 definitions of orgasms. I think this debate has caused much concern and has done a disservice to women, making women think something is not right or absent when it may not be the case at all. Women were supposed to assume that they had to graduate from an adolescent into an adult orgasm. I think this is sad – that women should be made to feel inadequate because of a 1905 “study” that lives on today.

1. Clitoral orgasms are not immoral or sinful if attained during the act of the martial union. I contend that women are not designed for vaginal orgasms. Since there are 26 definitions of orgasm, the vaginal response may be one physiological response – one of many. I would agree with the moral theologians about stimulation and it does not violate natural law because I don’t believe women are designed for vaginal orgasms only, if at all. Again, why would woman have a clitoris which is the only organ that has a sole sexual purpose and no other?
2. Kegel exercise would not be a sin. It’s purpose is to strengthen the pelvic floor. It also prevents incontinence or bladder prolapse, a problem for some woman who have had children and for women who are post-menopause. These are legitimate medical conditions and to treat them or prevent them with exercise is not sinful.

I agree. Most women do not have vaginal orgasms since their partners shape and size also contribute to a vaginal orgasm. Clitoral orgasms are the norm for most women. Sexual pleasure of ANY kind, with your spouse, is good, and not sinful. Marriage and relations are meant to bring a couple closer. Don’t let thinking take over where it doesn’t belong. If you enjoy your husband, you are honoring God.

The vagus nerve, is located in the neck, so it has nothing to do with orgasms, or a woman’s sexual function.

 

[thistle]

Okay you guys…just one last try, and I promise I won’t ask again…but really want just *one *person to answer the specific question–pretty please!

I *really *need to know the answer to this! :

1. Nate and a few others pointed out, as per the OP’s question, that for intercourse between a married couple to be “valid” according to the Catholic church, the man must be able “finish” (have an orgasm) inside his wife.
2. Then we all discussed…well, what if there is a married couple and at a certain point, the man could not “do it” anymore, for whatever reason. Nate (or someone else…1Ike?) said if that was the case, then their having sex would no longer be “valid” because the husband was not able to complete the act.
   And that they cannot have sex anymore.
3. I said…well, what about the wife? Could he not at least still “take care of” his wife, in other ways? For unity purposes?
   No, according to the Church, said someone. Because if we know for SURE that the husband could not complete the act, then to take care of the wife would be a sin.
   So the couple’s only recourse would be to stay chaste for the rest of their lives.
4. I said…well, what if they kept “trying”…with the “intent” to complete the act…and the wife can be “satisfied” in the process. So that they can still be close physically in that way, at least for the unity of it.

Then Nate pointed out that it would be difficult for the feelings of the husband in that scenario…to go, say, twenty years where the wife is always being “satisfied” but the husband is not.
It would cause bad feelings between the couple.
It would affect the couple’s feelings of “unity”. It would not, not be good for them.

So again, the only good option is for both to stay chaste.

Which leads me to the final question, again:

1. IIf situation 4 was reversed…and the wife could not be “satisfied” but the husband could…should they:

a)… both choose to be chaste, like number 4, to prevent “bad feelings” and prevent harm to the couple’s unity? As we said should be done if the husband could not have a Big O?

Or,

b)… continue having sex for twenty years with the husband being able to have orgasms, and the wife not?

But if you choose b)…what about the “bad feeling” problem in Number 4?
And why would it be okay for the wife to go twenty years without being satisfied, but not the husband?

As per earlier posts, we’re not talking validity here.

I’m wondering about the feelings of each spouse and what matters in that realm.

Thank you!

Listen. It has been made abundantly clear to you that known permanent impotence (that is known prior to marriage) on the part of both or either the man or woman does not allow the two to get married.
After marriage if the couple or one of them turns out to be impotent and they cannot consummate the marriage then the marriage can be dissolved (not annulled) at the request of both or even one of the spouses if the other is unwilling.
If the marriage is valid (that is ratified and consummated) but later on one or both parties become impotent then all sexual activity has to cease. Any sexual activity has to end with the husband climaxing inside his wife. If that is impossible then the couple have to live a life of continence (that means abstaining from sex).
You are trying to muddy the waters talking about feelings. There is a clear choice. The couple either have to put God first and stop sinning or put each other first and continue sinning (and dying unrepentant would go to Hell).

 

[jameshill003]

Hi,
Female impotence, or female sexual dysfunction, can be described as complexity in having sexual desire, enjoying sex, being sufficiently aroused or having an orgasm. A woman may experience this which decreased sexual desire for a number of reasons which also include stress and exhaustion.