Feminine little boy

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BenRosa

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Greetings:

Need advice on how to steer a little boy (age 3) back to the manly side of the toy chest. Cute, happy little guy but he likes to wear dresses and watch shows aimed at little girls. I’m told children pretty much set their personalities by age seven. I know my friend (really) is quietly going nuts over this situation.

Any and all guidance is appreciated.

May His peace be with you…
 
My daughter recieved the Cinderella viedo (when it came out for the first time in the late 80’s/early 90’s) my son was 4 at the time, was obessed with it. Plus he loved to play with his sisters old toys. My husband was also concerned. Don’t worry he will find his way to the “man side” of the toybox. He did soon after he started school he was playing all boy games. My son is now grown man. Very manly, but is very gentle and kind with his niece and nephew.
 
Does this little guy have older sisters? If so then that would go a long way into explaining why he likes these things - he sees his sisters playing with these things and watching these shows and he sees them having fun so he joins in 🙂

This btw does not mean he is or will be “gay”. Just wait, he will probably say one day “Eeeew, that’s girls stuff!!!” My guess is not too far in the future either.

Does he have some boy cousins he could play with? Or go to a playgroup with boys in it?

Also, does he play with cars and trucks and things like that as well?

Just some thoughts on the subject.

Brenda V.
 
Hi-

Is his father present and involved? That is so important for boys, especially when young. They need to identify and bond with their father as toddlers on up. If there’s no father involvement, maybe Big Brothers (the organization) could help or maybe there are uncles, cousins, etc?
I wouldn’t worry too much though - it could also be that your son is a sensitive caring person who will make a wonderful father and husband. 👍
 
I’ve been watching the same situation in a family at our church - however it is in reverse. A little girl that has always dressed, acted, and played like a boy since she was 6 or so. Now she is a full blown tomboy following in the footsteps of her older tomboy sister. The problem is that it has gone beyond tomboy. I considered (consider) myself a tomboy growing up, but these girls - especially the older one have an obvious sexual identity crisis. I don’t know what the parents have or haven’t done about it. The older one looks so much like a boy you can hardley tell she is a she. She is really a nice girl though, and I really like her.
 
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BenRosa:
Greetings:

Need advice on how to steer a little boy (age 3) back to the manly side of the toy chest. Cute, happy little guy but he likes to wear dresses and watch shows aimed at little girls. I’m told children pretty much set their personalities by age seven. I know my friend (really) is quietly going nuts over this situation.

Any and all guidance is appreciated.

May His peace be with you…
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I suggest the book A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality by Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, head of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH).
 
First, relax it is probablly a phase. Second, get some “Bob the Builder” toys and vidoes. Both my children, one of each gender, loved these at the age of 3. Also see about some good old fashion nature walks with dirt, lots of it! Worms are facinating at this age too. And I do not know any child who does not love dinosaurs!

Actually my daughter is cute the way she loves her “pretty dresses”, but does not think twice about rolling cars in the dirt. She will even do it with fake pearls on 😃 !

Mostly, do not make it a big deal or it will become a big deal! My son use to like pink, but after seeing me dress his sister in it all the time, he refused to wear a pair of socks because it had a pink stripe on the underside. I never made a big deal about him liking pink, he just decided it on his own.
 
Brenda V.:
Does this little guy have older sisters?
Also, does he play with cars and trucks and things like that as well?
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Brenda…

No, his only sibling is his older brother (10), whose quite the “boy”. When he was over visiting, I tried to get him to play with my son’s transformer truck; didn’t even want to hold it. Also, they have both parents at home.

Their father, I can tell, doesn’t quite like this situation. I want to tell him something but I’m not sure what, or even how to approach it. His mother appears ambivelent about it. It was kind of cute at first…but now, well…it’s time to snap out of it.

Thanks all, for the great advice and encouragement.

May His hand be over us all…
 
This is not a problem. Do you honestly think we all need to go back to the '50’s?:eek:
 
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Ghostgirl:
This is not a problem. Do you honestly think we all need to go back to the '50’s?:eek:
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Why are you dismissing a parent’s concern for a child with an appeal to chronological snobbery (i.e., we know “better” than previous generations because we’re allegedly so much more “advanced”)? This particular parent is worried for the child’s well-being. From this fellow feminist’s perspective, that is reason enough for this parent to seek help for him. After all, many doctors have learned through numerous case studies to give great credence to the “intuition” of parents (particularly mothers) that something is wrong with their children.
 
Our son did this at 3, we just ignored it, and it lasted about a month. He is now a big growly football player and very much 100% all American boy.
 
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kage_ar:
Our son did this at 3, we just ignored it, and it lasted about a month.
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Kage…that is great.

Unfortunetly, this little guy has been like this for about nine months…and it appears to be getting more pronounced with each time we see him. I can’t believe it’s from the nurturiing of this good Catholic family…seems like it’s “in the genes” which leads to the great debate on the origins of homosexuality…
 
I am a preschool teacher and I have one suggestion that hasn’t been voiced yet. Get a box of boy dress up clothes and he will gravitate to them I would bet. Put in an old suit jacket of dad’s, cowboy boots, hats and caps of all sorts, uniforms from teams, fireman hat and coat and boots, etc. Boys love to play dress up just as much as girls and sometimes the only reason they try on the girl things is that there is not enough selection of more traditional boy items in the stash. Mind you, I think girls will like some of those items too, but if you are worried about the dress up with girls clothes, then they could disappear.

Like many have said, this is not necessarily a concern at this early of an age.
 
I don’t understand…if his only siblilng is a brother, where are these dresses you said he likes to wear coming from? Or these girl toys? Who thought it was “cute at first,” and may have reinforced the whole thing?
 
Our daughter was very tomboyish from about age 3 to age 4 3/4. About three months before her fifth birthday I asked her if she wanted to watch Bob the Builder (who was a favorite of hers) and she very politely informed me that Bob the Builder is “for boys”. She is quite happy now with dressing up as a princess.

She still likes to play with her armor and swords, but I tell her to pretend she is St. Joan of Arc. She does have a fascination with pirates that I sometimes find disturbing, but at five I’m willing to give her a little latitude.
 
I think people are reading to much into this. Little boys and girls pretend play. A girl who pretends she’s “Batman” more then likely not become a lesbian, just as a little boy pretending to be “Dora the explorer” will not become gay. Children are sweet and innocent at this age. It’s just play.
 
Why does he have access to dresses? Put him in a sandbox with trucks and I guarantee he will have a blast, then get him some “construction gear” show him how fun sports can be. If he has sisters and doesn’t get to go out and have energetic fun, he is probably just trying to fit in at any cost. My poor brother (between 3 sistersJ) did this but he isn’t gay, he is very understanding of women.

He just needs to go out and have some fun at the playground and dig in teh sandbox.
 
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Flounder:
I don’t understand…if his only siblilng is a brother, where are these dresses you said he likes to wear coming from? Or these girl toys? Who thought it was “cute at first,” and may have reinforced the whole thing?
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I agree, I assumed the kid had sisters, If they don’t want him to wear dresses get rid of them, but they should never make him feel bad, just shift gears to start enjoying “boy” activities (which girls should also be allowed to participate in)
 
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