Fertilty treatment?

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BlestOne

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OK, This just occurred to me. Is it moral and acceptable for a woman to seek medical treatment to aid her in getting pregnant? Here are the specifics; I am 43 and I have had 4 children with my ex. He left, we were divorced and I was granted a decree of Nullity sp? and have since remarried. My new hubby has only one child and desires more as do I.

We have been married for a yr and a half and we have had 3 conceptions but all failed to implant. Up until this point I have not had the luxury of medical insurance (ex ran up a bill and I couldn’t pay so they wouldn’t let me see a doctor) so I have not visited a doctor to see if there is something that can be done. My employer and I are working out a solution so that I can get medical insurance so until now I have not even thought about this. When I have coverage again, would it be ok for me to ask for medical advice or treatment that would allow or assist implantation since conception is not the problem?

What would be ok and what wouldn’t? Obviously we do not need anything like artificial insemination which I wouldn’t do anyway. But seriously, would assistance with implantation be ok?
 
I believe that if you take a drug or something to help you then you are okay because you are helping your natural process BUT you can’t go with intro-vitro or anything that would cause you are your husband to sin (ie masturbation to gain the sprem or fertilizing eggs outside the womb)
 
All three of my children were conceived using fertility treatment (drugs only), and my understanding is that anything which helps to correct a problem, such as drugs to correct a hormone imbalance or surgery to repair a physical problem, is fine. Anything which involves conception in any way other than as a result of the"normal" process would be problematic. It would be worth seeing a doctor though, because then you can find out what your choices are, and only then can you decide what is morally acceptable.
 
The problem with fertility drugs is that you can sometimes get multiple births…and I think you need to really think about what a toll that would take on you physically and emotionally.

And how would you care for the children you both already have if you were bedridden for many months?

Right now you have 5 children between you, since pregnancy is a strain on us as we get older, would you consider adopting a baby?
 
newf said:
The problem with fertility drugs is that you can sometimes get multiple births…and I think you need to really think about what a toll that would take on you physically and emotionally.

And how would you care for the children you both already have if you were bedridden for many months?

Right now you have 5 children between you, since pregnancy is a strain on us as we get older, would you consider adopting a baby?
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:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Multiples don’t scare me…been there done that(naturally, no drugs)! As far as being bedridden… youngest of mine is 15 and his is 11… they can manage cooking and washing their own clothes etc… Oldest doesn’t live with us as he is almost 20 and works and goes to college. One child is with our Lord and youngest is only with us every other weekend. 😦 so we pretty much have 2 kids full time… ages 15 and 17. I am thankfully pretty healthy, which is why I have been able to go 5 yrs without medical insurance.
 
Ahhh, thanks for clarifying…basically you have 2 teenagers to deal with…that’s much different than 5 smaller ones.

Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best.
 
Anything that fixes something that isn’t working, like taking hormone supplements, etc, is ok. But doing something to create life without the marital act, such as IVF, artificial insemination, etc are not ok. Check out www.popepaulvi.com for more info, this is a faithful Catholic doctor highly trained in reproductive issues. I went to a practitioner trained by him, and got pg after 10 yrs of infertility. Good luck!
 
Teakafrog said:
Anything that fixes something that isn’t working, like taking hormone supplements, etc, is ok. But doing something to create life without the marital act, such as IVF, artificial insemination, etc are not ok. Check out www.popepaulvi.com for more info, this is a faithful Catholic doctor highly trained in reproductive issues. I went to a practitioner trained by him, and got pg after 10 yrs of infertility. Good luck!
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Thanks, This is what I thought. I am really looking forward to being able to go to a doctor for the first time in like 8 yrs. I know my dr is Catholic and very pro-life. But I am thinking he is going to have to refer me to a specialist since he is a family dr. It is so hard waiting for all the paperwork and stuff to go through so I can finally just make the appointment.
 
doing something to create life without the marital act, such as IVF, artificial insemination, etc are not ok.
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For many years, I had no poblems with the above. One has to accept the teachings of the Church. It is black and white.

Then I discovered that I am KS mosaic male. That means when I was fertile, I had a very low sperm count. The likelihood of a woman falling pregnant by natural means were very low.

The proof of that was in the pudding, we used to make love at any time of her month and she never fell pregnant.

She wanted me to do a sperm donation so that it could be selected so that a high concentration of matter could be injected into her womb by artificial means. She was not catholic and really wanted a baby.

I really wanted a baby but went along with the Church’s teachings. Eventually, she gave up on me and ‘my church’ dictating about her fertility. She went with another man and ‘hey presto’ conceived.

We now have a beautiful daughter and five lovely grandchildren.

Reflecting on my life, I now have bitter regrets. I wish I had not been so dogmatic about my faith dictating our life. I am so remorseful that I allowed myself to be dictated to by Mother Church. I am catholic through and through, but am so resentful.

So, I would advise anyone in a similar position to think very carefully. Even when you have made the choice, do not think that years later you will still be able to accept the decisions you made earlier. It gets harder as time go on
 
BlestOne said:
OK, This just occurred to me. Is it moral and acceptable for a woman to seek medical treatment to aid her in getting pregnant? Here are the specifics; I am 43 and I have had 4 children with my ex. He left, we were divorced and I was granted a decree of Nullity sp? and have since remarried. My new hubby has only one child and desires more as do I.

We have been married for a yr and a half and we have had 3 conceptions but all failed to implant. Up until this point I have not had the luxury of medical insurance (ex ran up a bill and I couldn’t pay so they wouldn’t let me see a doctor) so I have not visited a doctor to see if there is something that can be done. My employer and I are working out a solution so that I can get medical insurance so until now I have not even thought about this. When I have coverage again, would it be ok for me to ask for medical advice or treatment that would allow or assist implantation since conception is not the problem?

What would be ok and what wouldn’t? Obviously we do not need anything like artificial insemination which I wouldn’t do anyway. But seriously, would assistance with implantation be ok?
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Something bothers me about the whole scenerio. You have 5 children between the 2 of you and NO insurance and you want more children? How will you pay the hospital bill for childbirth, if and when that occurs ?- you may be considered higher risk considering your age. What do you do when your children get sick? What if your newborn is sick or you have a multiple birth and have to stay home and can’t work? Can you go on your husband’s insurance…if he doesn’t have insurance either he should find a job that offers insurance or take out a policy! I know insurance is costly but so is raising children!
 
Celeste88 said:
Something bothers me about the whole scenerio. You have 5 children between the 2 of you and NO insurance and you want more children? How will you pay the hospital bill for childbirth, if and when that occurs ?- you may be considered higher risk considering your age. What do you do when your children get sick? What if your newborn is sick or you have a multiple birth and have to stay home and can’t work? Can you go on your husband’s insurance…if he doesn’t have insurance either he should find a job that offers insurance or take out a policy! I know insurance is costly but so is raising children!
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Celeste - the OP said “Up until this point I have not had medical insurance” (bolding mine). I would assume that she has medical insurance now.

To the OP - I strongly recommend checking out Christopher West’s Good News about Sex and Marriage. It answers a lot of the questions you’re asking. Good luck!

Sixtus - if I’m reading your post correctly, your wife committed adultery in order to conceive a child and you’re okay with that? :confused: Please tell me I misinterpreted your post.
 
Sixtus said:
I really wanted a baby but went along with the Church’s teachings. Eventually, she gave up on me and ‘my church’ dictating about her fertility. She went with another man and ‘hey presto’ conceived.

We now have a beautiful daughter and five lovely grandchildren.

Reflecting on my life, I now have bitter regrets. I wish I had not been so dogmatic about my faith dictating our life. I am so remorseful that I allowed myself to be dictated to by Mother Church. I am catholic through and through, but am so resentful.
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Hypothetical: Suppose you are taking a really hard college course with a friend. Your friend tells you to cheat on the final. You say no. Your friend cheats and gets an A. You don’t cheat and you get a C. Now you have regrets because you could have gotten an A if you didn’t let morality dictate your choice. You are moral through and through, but so resentful.

Is my analogy on target. If so, then you are torn between God and the world. You did right and God knows it. Your wife commited adultery. She hurt you. You were marginalized in your own marriage. That’s why you are resentful. Pray for her and try to forgive her. I will pray for you. God bless you.
 
wanner47 said:
Celeste - the OP said “Up until this point I have not had medical insurance” (bolding mine). I would assume that she has medical insurance now.

To the OP - I strongly recommend checking out Christopher West’s Good News about Sex and Marriage. It answers a lot of the questions you’re asking. Good luck!
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Wanner47…You are correct, I am working on a deal where my boss will help me pay off my debt so that I can get health insurance again. We are just waiting on paperwork then I will be covered.

Thanks for the suggestion about Christopher West. I wanted an excuse to order it…

Celeste88…Thanks for the concern but I wouldn’t be so irresponsible, I only have 2 full time teens in my home and one part-time preteen. When my kids get sick they stay home from school by themselves unless I am needed…they are 15 and 17 and I work 6 blocks from home. If I were to have problems after giving birth or my child were to… I am salaried and can basically work any hours I want so as to spend time where I am needed. I can also do much of my work from home. My employer is very much a family man and has given me time off anytime I want to go to mass or visit my children’s schools, etc. He paid me while I was on my honeymoon even though I only worked for him about 3 months when I married. Actually on Holy Days, almost the entire office goes to mass and lunch together. It is really quite interesting working for a devout Catholic in a predominant Catholic workplace. Actually only 1 person is non Catholic so she covers mass time when we all go together. We even have Good Friday off and we all go to Stations of the Cross at noon that day! He may not pay well but the benefits are definitely right down my alley!
 
I forgot to mention…my kids DO have medical insurance, I get refused when I try to make an appointment because of the bill my ex ran up. They say I can’t make an appointment until the debt is paid.
 
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