To me, the whole “he doesn’t get drunk often but when he does…” scenario is itself a red flag. Are you willing to risk him getting drunk again, and if he does, what might be the next jerky thing that happens? He could say something “jerky” to the wrong person who has a .45 and you could be a widow. Or, he could decide to get in the car with you or one or more of the chidlren and an accident could occur. I know you might think I’m sounding an irrational alarm, but there was a thread on here recently about a wife whose husband wanted them all to go out in dangerous weather conditions to a bar (and take the small child with) after midnight and after they had been drinking.
Interesting point.
AlmostMarried, if you yourself are a virgin, perhaps you should reconsider whether you want to give 100% to a man who is not giving the same 100% back to you. Don’t sell yourself short - you’ve EARNED it!!! Don’t be afraid to insist on what you have earned. (I know some may be offended by this and consider it unforgiving, but maybe using this as leverage will send a chill down his spine and serve as a wake-up call, and if he does lose you to a male virgin it could drill into his head that it “pays to obey the rules” and that may be the wake-up call he needs for the sake of the next woman he meets).
JimG and Norseman…
I can’t adequately explain how distasteful I find your posts.
Not only does it seem you find virginity the sole and most important thing in a person. Let me remind you though that chastity and virginity are not the same. The first is a crown you have earned through hard work… the second is a free gift from God.
Have any of you ever been in a very serious relationship as adults where the one you were with tempted you? If not, then you are really cheap in saying what you do. How easy it is for you!
Last year I had a really deep relationship with a man and over a long time where we really could not avoid the near occasion of sin we fell. That has caused me a depression you cannot even imagine. Going on
catholic.com I received so much comfort… one thing the people here reminded me was : “We have ALL sinned and fallen short…” and “Jesus is our sole righteousness”. They also agreed that a man who would not be interested in me now because of the fall in my past I should not care about because I would not want a man who had no compassion and humility. Since then I met a christian guy who was older than me and still a virgin. he said that he could not dream of finding me impure or unfit since Jesus Christ Himself is dwelling within me and has cleansed me from all my sin… then who was he to have reservations, knowing well that he too could have fallen very easily if he had really been tried at a certain time. Selv-knowlege is a precious pearl. Peter did not have it… you do not have it. Your trial will surely come.
Yes… by your fleshy standards you have a “right” to a lot of things… you holy men… but in the eyes of God you deserve hell like all the rest of us. Don’t you forget that. And in case you dont believe in the CLEANSING power of Confession, that the OP believes in for certain, then you should keep your disbelief to your selves. Did you ever read: “I abandon their sin and remember them no more”. those are words of God in the Old Testament… as an example to follow. How can you in your right mind call a fellow sister into petty and unforgiving thoughts towards a man that she loves??? I doubt you have ever experienced a love that makes all things new… Shame on you for wanting to put venom in a young woman’s heart!
Have any of you ever stolen, gotten drunk, lied, masturbated, been proud, had lustful thoughts? Then do you think you deserve a pious lady? - will not you in all your hope for mercy, hope that you find a woman who will see you instead of your numerous sins? I will remind you lastly that pride is on the top list of death sins… sins of the flesh are at the bottom…
Learn humility.
We are not the sum of our failures… we are the sum of The Fathers love for us. (Pope JPII)
To the OP: Go and love your boyfriend… believe me…its so much harder to be the sinner than to be the righteous.
