Fighting against nature?

[WH1988]

Okay. So I’ve been discerning a vocation to priesthood. About one month ago, I became somewhat convinced that I’m called to priesthood, based on all I know and all I get from prayer, and thus had to start telling close friends, family and SD.

About 2 months ago, I had to end my long-term relationship with a Catholic girl in order to discern better.

I honestly think I’m going nuts, or pehaps this is just a bad day (sick of so much heterodoxy), but here it goes:

Don’t you people, who are in seminaries or discerning to priesthood, feel you are really fighting against nature? Since I became convinced of my priestly vocation, I became so muuuuuuuuuuuch more attentive to women passing on the streets, I look to them a lot more, I in fact starting acting like a radar, it’s impressive.

I think I learned to appreciate femaly beauty a lot more, perhaps my heart is more pure now, or… I don’t know.

Can you explain this?

Please pray for me!

 

[Spirithound]

I really can’t explain it, but remind yourself that each of those women is a daughter of God Himself. Say a prayer to our Blessed Mother for strength.
God bless you in your vocation.
Peace

 

[Bebekoualy]

I think it’s normal to be so attracted by women especially when we think about religious life/priesthood. If you didn’t feel anything, there’d be a big problem! It means that you’re normal, and balanced.
You’ve got to pray. It’s a passage, I think you’re just thinking **“I might miss that” **and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I frequent lots of priests, and some don’t hesitate to stroke my cheek when we say goodbye, or tender actions. Even if I’m a girl! They know I’m very fervent, I pray a lot, and I wouldn’t interpret it badly. Of course, we are human beings! There is tenderness even in Religious Life! There is a nun I know very well who hugs me every time she sees me! She knows I do need affection.

I think God can give you what you do not have in a priest life. There are offsets.

 

[LtPaint]

I wouldn’t see a problem with appreciating the beauty of women. There is a difference, though, between appreciating beauty, which is natural, and to lust after a woman because of her beauty and to objectify her, which is unnatural.

 

[Poor_Clare_tobe]

I wouldn’t see a problem with appreciating the beauty of women. There is a difference, though, between appreciating beauty, which is natural, and to lust after a woman because of her beauty and to objectify her, which is unnatural.

Well said Ltpaint. You point out quite well the distintinction between appreciating ones beauty and lust …

I would only add to the thread??? to …WH1988… you said above that you have a spiritual director??? One assumes that your director confirmed you in your journey?? In other words they felt that this was indeed the path you were being called to??? If so … do keep in contact with them… share with them your journey… your temptations your joys… and blessings and prayers on your journey

 

[strugglingalong]

Okay. So I’ve been discerning a vocation to priesthood. About one month ago, I became somewhat convinced that I’m called to priesthood, based on all I know and all I get from prayer, and thus had to start telling close friends, family and SD.

About 2 months ago, I had to end my long-term relationship with a Catholic girl in order to discern better.

I honestly think I’m going nuts, or pehaps this is just a bad day (sick of so much heterodoxy), but here it goes:

Don’t you people, who are in seminaries or discerning to priesthood, feel you are really fighting against nature? Since I became convinced of my priestly vocation, I became so muuuuuuuuuuuch more attentive to women passing on the streets, I look to them a lot more, I in fact starting acting like a radar, it’s impressive.

I think I learned to appreciate femaly beauty a lot more, perhaps my heart is more pure now, or… I don’t know.

Can you explain this?

Please pray for me!

I want to say that I understand and here is my take on it. Once someone is seriously considering, and starting to move in the direction of, celibacy, then there is a battle going on in the heart (depending on how far one has to go yet in purity of heart). Now, you’re starting to emphasize celibacy and not being with a woman but you remain a human being. So I think in your mind you are more aware that you’re going to give women up in that way and so you’re more aware of them because of it. It may also be a way that satan comes to tempt us, or that God allows us to be tried, so that we can grow in the virtue of chastity and possibly celibacy.

It’s normal. You’re a human being. It’s okay to acknowledge an attractive woman so long as you don’t focus on that aspect of them, objectivize them or desire them in your heart. You can say, “Yes she is attractive” and then say a prayer for her salvation.

I’ve experienced the same thing. It’s difficult - and may be more difficult for some of us who have struggle with certain things int this area.

Pax Christi tecum.

 

[grandfather]

Okay. So I’ve been discerning a vocation to priesthood. About one month ago, I became somewhat convinced that I’m called to priesthood, based on all I know and all I get from prayer, and thus had to start telling close friends, family and SD.

About 2 months ago, I had to end my long-term relationship with a Catholic girl in order to discern better.

I honestly think I’m going nuts, or pehaps this is just a bad day (sick of so much heterodoxy), but here it goes:

Don’t you people, who are in seminaries or discerning to priesthood, feel you are really fighting against nature? Since I became convinced of my priestly vocation, I became so muuuuuuuuuuuch more attentive to women passing on the streets, I look to them a lot more, I in fact starting acting like a radar, it’s impressive.

I think I learned to appreciate femaly beauty a lot more, perhaps my heart is more pure now, or… I don’t know.

Can you explain this?

Please pray for me!

If you are “somewhat convinced” you are still discerning. You did not say how old you are. There is a practice called custody of the eyes that you might need to learn. But then even with eyes closed we need to also learn custody of the heart. Jesus says before people commit the sins of lust it is already in their hearts. It seems that you will either get through this stage and learn to turn off the radar or maybe you do not have a priestly vocation. You would not want to spend the rest of your life as a priest zeroing in on every pretty woman that walks by.

 

[WH1988]

If you are “somewhat convinced” you are still discerning. You did not say how old you are. There is a practice called custody of the eyes that you might need to learn. But then even with eyes closed we need to also learn custody of the heart. Jesus says before people commit the sins of lust it is already in their hearts. It seems that you will either get through this stage and learn to turn off the radar or maybe you do not have a priestly vocation. You would not want to spend the rest of your life as a priest zeroing in on every pretty woman that walks by.

True. I’m 20 btw.

 

[grandfather]

True. I’m 20 btw.

Not having lived life as a celibate person I can not know what that entails on a day to day basis or over a lifetime, especially for someone who is young and healthy.

I think I can say though that celibacy is unnatural. It is supernatural and it is a gift. If one has this gift then it is possible to live celibately. If one does not, it can not be faked, or lived out in practice.

I do not have a religious vocation so my experience may not be helpful, but it seems reasonable to ask of God that He would give us, in whatever calling we have, the things necessary to be faithful to it. If you are going to be a priest it seems reasonable to ask God for help in this area, to give you the gift, or to help you get through this. If God is calling you to celibacy He has to give you the means or grace to achieve it.

I don’t think you are going to the beach to ogle the girls in bikinis, deliberately putting yourself in temptation. But the world is full of beautiful women and if the natural magnetism is raging rather than belng turned down or off, this has to be unacceptable. God has to help you or show you how to deal with this, give you the gift to do so if He wants you to be a faithful priest.

I am assuming given the fact that you think you have a vocation that the relationship you recently ended with your long term girlfriend was chaste. If it was, how did you manage to remain pure? Use that ability in your present state. If it was not, then you should probably take some time to try to live chastely before you decide you have a vocation. I am associated with a society of religious who are attracting male and female vocations. They do a lot of work with college students. They ask men who think they are called to the priesthood to live with them for a year in the environment to see if they can deal with the temptations of being around beautiful young women. It seems reasonable that you would want to find this out for yourself before you go further.

God bless you on your journey.

 

[puzzleannie]

Can you explain this?

Please pray for me!

MAYBE 2 mos. is not enough time to discern a priestly vocation?

 

[SarahR]

There is a practice called custody of the eyes that you might need to learn.

Wonderful point. One of our priests here has amazing custody of his eyes (from what I have seen). It was actually quite striking, the first time I met him and had a conversation with him. It goes far beyond not being distracted by a woman’s physical attributes…it goes deeper and gives the other person your complete attention. Realizing that this person has tremendous dignity in their complete personhood (word??), and also has a soul that will be somewhere for eternity.

Anyway, custody of the eyes, especially when it is a quite developed practice, is beautiful and helps the other person to have an increased awareness of their own value and dignity.