M
mellowcheddar
Guest
Good morning all,
Since returning to Church 5 years ago, I’ve had a deepening desire for my husband, an Agnostic, to join me in the faith. He was raised Baha’i, which is a faith far from mainstream Christianity, but which also recognizes the divinity of Christ and respects His followers.
When I started going back, I was a Baha’i and was slowly recanting that faith. We had joked about me going back to Church for years, but when it actually started to happen he was a little scared. He was afraid I would turn into the stereotypical Catholic, with a million kids and Crucifixes on every wall. (Funny that we do have one in almost every room of the house. But anyhow…)
He has come to see that not all nuns are like The Penguin in “The Blues Brothers,” and not all priests are pedophiliacs. He knows many of the parishoners, the priest and the deacon by name. He knows he is welcome all the time- he also knows I am not the only one praying for his conversion.
But on All Saint’s Day, a fight broke out. (We don’t fight very often, but when we do, we mean it!) It was over some family BS that I discussed in a different thread. But when I turned around during the Sign of Peace, who was all the way in the back of the Church? Husband.
Just like this Spring, the last time we had a fight, and lo and behold, I find him teary-eyed in the back pews. This time, however, was after Mass and during a parish function. The Church was empty. He was upset, so to calm him, I showed him around the Church and told him what certain things were and what they meant- the rosary mysteries in our stained-glass windows, the stations of the cross, etc.
I told him during Mass on All Souls that this is God’s house, and all fights end at the steps. There’s no fighting here and anyone who enters respectfully is always welcome. On the walk home I asked him,
“Why do you come to Church when we are fighting?”
“Because it is a peaceful place and I find peace there.” he replied, almost bashfully.
“Well good, that’s why it’s there,” I replied.
I have told him he’s always welcome at Mass. He shrugs it off. I’ve asked him to come walk home with me after Church (it is right around the corner). Sometimes he remembers and other times he doesn’t. He helps out at functions and enjoys the parishoner’s company.
A big sticking point is Transubstantiation. I have told him this is a difficult thing for many to grasp, but that sometimes it’s OK to just let a mystery be a mystery.
I have FINALLY gotten him to agree to read a book on why we believe some of the “weird” things that we believe, but now I have to find the book. “Catholicism for Dummies” is a bit too big, I wouldn’t expect him to read that. So now I have just this tiniest shred of commitment. A very tiny answer to an intercession I make more than once a week.
Being alone in my faith makes me sad sometimes, and I only wish my husband could enjoy the 45 minutes of relaxation that Jesus so kindly dishes out every weekend.
So my ponderances are these: What book to I get, and what do I do to encourage him farther? I want him to see the truth inherent in our faith- I don’t want him to convert, as it seems many husbands do, just to shut me up.
As I always say to the officants while chitchatting on the topic before Mass, “Small steps.”
Any suggestions on the book?
St. Monica and Mama Mary, now’s the time!
Since returning to Church 5 years ago, I’ve had a deepening desire for my husband, an Agnostic, to join me in the faith. He was raised Baha’i, which is a faith far from mainstream Christianity, but which also recognizes the divinity of Christ and respects His followers.
When I started going back, I was a Baha’i and was slowly recanting that faith. We had joked about me going back to Church for years, but when it actually started to happen he was a little scared. He was afraid I would turn into the stereotypical Catholic, with a million kids and Crucifixes on every wall. (Funny that we do have one in almost every room of the house. But anyhow…)
He has come to see that not all nuns are like The Penguin in “The Blues Brothers,” and not all priests are pedophiliacs. He knows many of the parishoners, the priest and the deacon by name. He knows he is welcome all the time- he also knows I am not the only one praying for his conversion.
But on All Saint’s Day, a fight broke out. (We don’t fight very often, but when we do, we mean it!) It was over some family BS that I discussed in a different thread. But when I turned around during the Sign of Peace, who was all the way in the back of the Church? Husband.
Just like this Spring, the last time we had a fight, and lo and behold, I find him teary-eyed in the back pews. This time, however, was after Mass and during a parish function. The Church was empty. He was upset, so to calm him, I showed him around the Church and told him what certain things were and what they meant- the rosary mysteries in our stained-glass windows, the stations of the cross, etc.
I told him during Mass on All Souls that this is God’s house, and all fights end at the steps. There’s no fighting here and anyone who enters respectfully is always welcome. On the walk home I asked him,
“Why do you come to Church when we are fighting?”
“Because it is a peaceful place and I find peace there.” he replied, almost bashfully.
“Well good, that’s why it’s there,” I replied.
I have told him he’s always welcome at Mass. He shrugs it off. I’ve asked him to come walk home with me after Church (it is right around the corner). Sometimes he remembers and other times he doesn’t. He helps out at functions and enjoys the parishoner’s company.
A big sticking point is Transubstantiation. I have told him this is a difficult thing for many to grasp, but that sometimes it’s OK to just let a mystery be a mystery.
I have FINALLY gotten him to agree to read a book on why we believe some of the “weird” things that we believe, but now I have to find the book. “Catholicism for Dummies” is a bit too big, I wouldn’t expect him to read that. So now I have just this tiniest shred of commitment. A very tiny answer to an intercession I make more than once a week.
Being alone in my faith makes me sad sometimes, and I only wish my husband could enjoy the 45 minutes of relaxation that Jesus so kindly dishes out every weekend.
So my ponderances are these: What book to I get, and what do I do to encourage him farther? I want him to see the truth inherent in our faith- I don’t want him to convert, as it seems many husbands do, just to shut me up.
As I always say to the officants while chitchatting on the topic before Mass, “Small steps.”
Any suggestions on the book?
St. Monica and Mama Mary, now’s the time!
I have told him he can come in quietly and wait by the back wall- other people do that- but I guess he’s not there yet. But I’ll keep plugging at it and hopefully it’ll stick.