Fighting My Personal Battle!

[mrsjennymulhall]

Good Morning!

I had a minor triumph recently and wanted to share it with you all, since I’ve been fighting this personal battle for years and years. This is the power of the confessional and prayer!

I have been caring for my husband’s parents and aunt for about five years now. I love my work; and seeing a positive difference in my guy’s health makes my heart sing! That said, I have struggled with PMT since my twenties and find my duties next to impossible at this time.

At first I tried the medical route; then the holistic route; no to avail. Then I became a carer and, in one house where people are ill; my irritability, impatience and tendency to become over-emotional one week in four became a MONSTER.

It was wretched. I never voiced my irritability but my eyes, face and body all but screamed my impatience. Worse still; my guys were sweet and understanding, which scalded my soul. I had no idea what I could do.

I took it to the confessional and of course was embarrassed to discuss cycle matters with my priest. He told me to ‘guard my eyes’ in relation to body language, to imagine myself watching Christ from the crowd as he ministered to the sick and to pray to Mary for help.

I prayed hard - so hard - and felt like I was confessing the same sins to the same priest every month! I prayed for the grace of a moment - just one moment - between needing to display my irritability and actually doing so. I cried hot scalding tears of frustration and laid it all at Mother Mary’s door as I felt unequal to my burden.

Well; this time my bother has come and gone smoothly. Yes; I felt wretched, put upon and tired. Yes; my irritability bloomed big and ugly as ever and just for spice, my darling MIL was feeling especially tender and more in need of TLC than ever. This time; however, my prayer was granted and I was granted the grace of that moment and into my mind popped a picture of Christ smiling at the unclean woman which was so vivid that I could almost smell the sweat of the crowd and the dust in the air!

I will probably fight this personal battle until age puts an end to my trouble but truly; the confessional and prayer have become my armour. I feel so blessed and happy that I know that ANYTHING is possible in God. Know it in my bones; not just in an abstract way. Hurrah!!

Sorry if this was TMI for a Saturday morning but please, do share your stories of personal battles fought, won or still in the waging. If my prayers can help, they are offered gladly.

 

[LongingSoul]

I took it to the confessional and of course was embarrassed to discuss cycle matters with my priest. He told me to ‘guard my eyes’ in relation to body language, to imagine myself watching Christ from the crowd as he ministered to the sick and to pray to Mary for help.

mrsjennymulhall, thankyou for posting this account for us. It is really inspirational and I love your priest as well.

It is a technique I’ve been using for quite a while also. When my husband or one of my children is really pushing my limits, I think, what if this is God here testing me? It makes a real difference to my reaction.

God bless you and the wonderful work you do.

 

[anonymous_in_fl]

What does PMT stand for? I am not familiar with that acronym. Thanks.

 

[jaimeleglise]

Probably Premensrual Tension. (British for PMS) Premenstrual Syndrome.
God bless you all.

 

[mrsjennymulhall]

What does PMT stand for? I am not familiar with that acronym. Thanks.

Yes, that’s right! It’s Pre Menstrual Tension. I have the severe type; PMDD. It’s horrible.

I’m an easy-going, smiley sort of person mostly but at that time, I have pain and crazy mood swings. Believe me; over the past 18 years, I’ve tried everything from prescribed hormones to hypnotherapy! Nothing worked… Except prayer and truly trying to carry this cross as far and as well as I could.

I hope this isn’t too ‘blushy’ a topic of conversation but I’m sure I’m not the only CAF lady who has trouble with this. Take it to Our Lady. After all, she’s a woman, too!

 

[mrsjennymulhall]

mrsjennymulhall, thankyou for posting this account for us. It is really inspirational and I love your priest as well.

It is a technique I’ve been using for quite a while also. When my husband or one of my children is really pushing my limits, I think, what if this is God here testing me? It makes a real difference to my reaction.

God bless you and the wonderful work you do.

Thank you so much! Its hard at that time and difficult for our husbands to understand. I’ll pray for your peace; right when you need it. x

 

[chefmomster2]

I was unable to attend Church for over 6 years due to PTSD and its anxiety, panic attacks, etc. This was due in large part to my abuse by a Catholic sister. It has taken a very long time, lots of prayer, contacting the Order and receiving their apology and promise of eternal prayers, therapy, and religious study, but I will soon celebrate one full year back in the pews!

Thank God!

 

[CB_Catholic]

Not related to PMT, but I knew a woman once who told me she had a terrible time with anger and disgust whenever she looked at her alcoholic husband and she could not control it.

Then one day she came home and found him asleep on the couch, drunk as usual, but instead of his face, she literally saw the face of Christ on him. That turned everything around for her, and she was helped through the trying times by recalling that image. That was a grace and a tool God gave her to help with her uncontrollable anger, similar to what you received, I believe.

 

[NFPWife]

Yes, that’s right! It’s Pre Menstrual Tension. I have the severe type; PMDD. It’s horrible.

I’m an easy-going, smiley sort of person mostly but at that time, I have pain and crazy mood swings. Believe me; over the past 18 years, I’ve tried everything from prescribed hormones to hypnotherapy! Nothing worked… Except prayer and truly trying to carry this cross as far and as well as I could.

I hope this isn’t too ‘blushy’ a topic of conversation but I’m sure I’m not the only CAF lady who has trouble with this. Take it to Our Lady. After all, she’s a woman, too!

Have you looked into any support for it that isn’t hormonal contraceptives? I have a blood disorder that make HCs dangerous, so my docs are forced to make other recommendations - besides “Here, take the pill.” Ones that have actually been useful, in no particular order - fish oil supplements and calcium, St. John’s wort, bio-identical progesterone (My fave option - love this! I use days 16 - onset,) and SSRIs. I didn’t like the SSRIs, they worked for the PMDD, but the side effects were intolerable.

 

[mrsjennymulhall]

I was unable to attend Church for over 6 years due to PTSD and its anxiety, panic attacks, etc. This was due in large part to my abuse by a Catholic sister. It has taken a very long time, lots of prayer, contacting the Order and receiving their apology and promise of eternal prayers, therapy, and religious study, but I will soon celebrate one full year back in the pews!

Thank God!

I am so happy that you found healing at the same Order where you received hurt. It must have taken such a lot of courage to contact them, having lost all trust. God grant me your trust and humility! Bless you.

 

[NFPWife]

I hit reply too soon. I also meant to give you a HUGE congratulations on winning your battle. (I so wanted to help reduce your discomfort that I jumped the gun.)

I agree 100% that prayer is so effective, taking perspective, taking a breath, etc. You’re doing awesome!

 

[mrsjennymulhall]

Have you looked into any support for it that isn’t hormonal contraceptives? I have a blood disorder that make HCs dangerous, so my docs are forced to make other recommendations - besides “Here, take the pill.” Ones that have actually been useful, in no particular order - fish oil supplements and calcium, St. John’s wort, bio-identical progesterone (My fave option - love this! I use days 16 - onset,) and SSRIs. I didn’t like the SSRIs, they worked for the PMDD, but the side effects were intolerable.

After many years of being told that cycles were normal, ‘you’ll get used to it’, ‘stop over-reacting’ etc, I found a lady doctor who, seeing I had a child young, prescribed Depo. She kept me on this for ten years (!!) and that fixed my problem (no cycle, no PMDD!) but I developed sore joints and subsequently found out I had no business continuing Depo for so long. After that; I abandoned conventional medicine and tried Agnus Castus (not bad) reiki (ridiculous) and hypnotherapy (expensive).

I can’t explain how ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ this PMDD makes a person. I’m a reserved, non argumentative and patient person but for that one awful week every month. I promise you; prayer was my last resort because I just hated how I felt and acted at this time. However, for me; it worked! That scant moment between feeling that awful pent-up anxious eruption coming and acting it out is all I needed to stop; breathe a prayer and try to remain calm. That moment was non existent until I prayed for it and meditated on Christ healing the sick; how wretched they felt, how gentle were his smile, eyes and hands as he blessed them. I can literally feel the horrid fizzing anger leave the top of my head! My husband didn’t even know that ‘Aunt Rosy’ had been and gone and usually he’s tippy-toes at this time.

I’m not out of the woods yet; I’ll have to keep trying and praying but this is the first month since my early twenties that I haven’t hated myself for my feelings. And I’m almost 39!!