Fighting negative thoughts

[Student09]

I could use some help/advice. Recently I have been struggling with very negative thoughts about myself. This is not a new problem for me but it’s particularly bad right now and by far the worst it’s been since becoming Catholic.

One difficulty I am having is that it is hard for me to tell when I am actually “giving in to” the thoughts. For instance, sometimes I am strong enough to reject them in Jesus’ name and I know I am rejecting them. At other times, it’s like I am being bombarded and the thoughts may go on for a while before I pull it together, so afterward I don’t know if I was causing/accepting the thoughts or not. Or I may fight them but not very effectively or resolutely. I just can’t tell.

Another problem is that when I pull myself together and start to reject them, the thoughts suddenly switch from, “You are worthless, etc” to “You have sinned mortally by having these thoughts, God hates you, etc.”

Maybe someone could tell me if it can be a mortal sin to have thoughts like this, and also give some help with how to tell if I am thinking them on purpose or not.

 

[DBT]

Student09 - my thoughts and prayers are with you!

Perhaps others will speak to the issue of sin/scruples etc. I will limit myself to this, the only thing useful I can think of to provide

If we decide to wage war against compulsive thoughts like these in full-scale frontal attack we will surely loose! Or at least exhaust ourselves in the effort. The best thing we can do is gently and lovingly take our mind off these “first movements” of our soul (that just seem to bubble up from nowhere) and return our gaze back to God. Over and over and over. Do your best to pay no heed to these intrusions by indulging or considering the merits of these thoughts . . . that’s how the devil robs us of our peace: by trying to give our minds some tasty little morsle to chew on. Just do your best to let it go . . . laugh at it if you can. Peace, above all, is what you need to maintain. And that doesn’t come through forcing things.

At some times, though, intrusive thoughts can be so overwhelming that we are completely swamped by them and what I describe above will be to no avail. At these times we simply surrender to it . . . our “desire” for God being the only prayer we can make. God will eventually “calm the sea” . . . either by removing the trial; or by giving us the grace to endure it a bit longer. Trust, abandonment, detachment . . . these are the key.

My best to you,
Dave

 

[BouncingBall]

For me, offering God praise works tremendously. It reminds us that it’s all about Him. Jesus-centered life, not a negative-thought centered one

Matter of fact, I need to take my own advice today. Probably just hormones, but still.

 

[Student09]

Dave, while I appreciate your advice, I don’t think these are the kind of thoughts that one can safely just “surrender” to when they are too much to ignore. I am judging from past experience. Also, my confessor, who knows more of the details than I have said here, told me to actively reject them. Thank you, though.

I would still like someone to answer my question on how to discern when one is sinning and how serious the sin is - given these circumstances.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Dave, while I appreciate your advice, I don’t think these are the kind of thoughts that one can safely just “surrender” to when they are too much to ignore. I am judging from past experience. Also, my confessor, who knows more of the details than I have said here, told me to actively reject them. Thank you, though.

I would still like someone to answer my question on how to discern when one is sinning and how serious the sin is - given these circumstances.

First, is your confessor also a spiritual director? He may actually not be familiar with how to guide someone on the spiritual journey. I think I know about some intrusive thoughts; I was severely psychotic for over 10 years, and by golly there were some doozies. If you fight them, they will fight back. The language of God is silence. He who has ears, let him hear. If you don’t want advice on this matter, then why did you ask?

Second, nobody here knows whether you are thinking them on purpose. You are right, that in order for them to be a mortal sin you must be doing them with full knowledge and consent.

Alan

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Dave’s advice is sound, at least for anybody I know. I am an expert at intrusive thoughts that are absolutely horrible; I was severely psychotic for 10 years. If you think you are going to fight them back as with a verbal sword, then consider trying using the language of God: silence. :yup:

Remember when Jesus was being accused of many things what He said: nothing. :sad_yes:

As far as your confessor, is he also a spiritual director? If he is not that or a trained counselor, then remember his expertise is in delivering the sacrament of confession, which in itself does not presuppose infallible or even expert advice. If you are happy with fighting your thoughts, then go for it.

As far as thinking these thoughts on purpose, I can’t imagine why you would but you are right that whether you do it with full knowledge and consent – assuming they are grave matter – then your confessor and you are the only ones who can untangle that, especially with the amount of information you have given. I’m not asking for more information. I just think that an internet forum is more likely to help you with getting rid of the thoughts and the confessor with determining whether there is a sin to forgive.

Alan

 

[Student09]

If you are happy with fighting your thoughts, then go for it.

You don’t have to be sarcastic. I’m sorry I started this thread. Just forget it and leave me alone. I don’t know why I come to these useless forums for help anyway.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

You don’t have to be sarcastic. I’m sorry I started this thread. Just forget it and leave me alone. I don’t know why I come to these useless forums for help anyway.

I wasn’t being sarcastic, at least not intentionally. I cannot tell you how much healing I have had, and how bad off I was. I had a spiritual director and that made all the difference. I said those things for your benefit but if you find them caustic, I am sorry.

If you thought I was out of line, I’m sorry it’s too late for me to delete the post but report it because the moderator can delete it. If you’re really sorry about the thread, you can also request the thread be locked or deleted.

Alan

 

[Big_Dummy]

meditate on the postive aspects in scripture, shift the focus away from yourself.

 

[Kea]

Hi Student09

Apart from going to Adoration of Blessed Sacrament and going for confession regularly, I also find this book is really helpful:
“Change your thinking”. By Sarah Edelman.

God bless.

 

[Forkfoot]

The harder you fight your mind, the louder it will get. The less you try to manipulate and control it one way or the other, the quieter it’ll get. All you need is a little space for God to get a word in edgewise. Release all other concerns and turn your gaze there.