J
john78
Guest
I had started a thread awhile back titled the Rosary Works,
and this is a follow up for those who may remember , or are still fighting this battle.
My Spiritual Director shared this with me and after reflecting on it, I agree with him that it is a bad habit, and bad habits take time to break.
And it is also a form of sin, a form of emptiness , a type of demon.
Recognition is a key to destroying this, I am personally learning things about myself on a daily basis and journaling as well, with the intent to have my S.D read it maybe a week or so before my next visit, so he can get a better grasp of who i am to help me in my discernment…
Things in my life have happened recently that has led me to turning back to pornography, and i even doubled up on praying the Rosary today before tonight, and i still fell.
Not giving up is the first key, comparing myself from years of this habit/demon, i have succeeded by leaps and bounds and usually when you have an enemy on the ropes or fleeing they get desperate and usually put up a few good final fights, so i am realizing i am nearing the end.
Second I am noticing that being alone physically alone was part of this fall, being in an empty house was not helpful for me, and what I should have done when i had these temptations to view pornography was to get out of the house, and go to adoration, a public place, with people, in the presence of our Lord.
Self recognition is also again something to consider, know yourself, have you had healthy relationships with women, if not how bad did they get and why ? take everything into consideration from childhood, teen years, to where ever you are at now, and reflect to see where the connections are . I have had to play detective with myself to connect the dots and some might find this helpful as well.
and don’t beat yourself up over it, it happens we are human, once you recognize the problem you can start changing it.
So The Blessed Mary did not fail me nor praying her Rosary, I failed to recognize what was happening, why it happened, and in turn i gave into being led to pornography, had i just been a little mentally quicker, i would have high tailed it outa the house and to adoration which is literally 5 minutes from my house.
i know there are links on fighting pornography i saw one today, and understood why my mother had put at one point religious items on the computer desk, and this is another step i have taken just now. It is a great reminder of the path i want to be on and to keep fighting my demon. If anyone finds any more links on fighting pornography feel free to drop them here, and feel free to share anything you have found that helps in this battle as i might not have thought of it either and could benefit from it.
I call pornography a demon because for me that is what it is in my life, and of course demons come in all shapes n sizes for different people.
This one though,
It starts with a little bit of lust and the thought is psh no big deal, and it grows from there.
I look forward to the day when this lust and pornography is out of my life completely; i have a goal and i wont let these final battles destroy me and I hope others facing the problem I have been facing for years can find something useful here.
and this is a follow up for those who may remember , or are still fighting this battle.
My Spiritual Director shared this with me and after reflecting on it, I agree with him that it is a bad habit, and bad habits take time to break.
And it is also a form of sin, a form of emptiness , a type of demon.
Recognition is a key to destroying this, I am personally learning things about myself on a daily basis and journaling as well, with the intent to have my S.D read it maybe a week or so before my next visit, so he can get a better grasp of who i am to help me in my discernment…
Things in my life have happened recently that has led me to turning back to pornography, and i even doubled up on praying the Rosary today before tonight, and i still fell.
Not giving up is the first key, comparing myself from years of this habit/demon, i have succeeded by leaps and bounds and usually when you have an enemy on the ropes or fleeing they get desperate and usually put up a few good final fights, so i am realizing i am nearing the end.
Second I am noticing that being alone physically alone was part of this fall, being in an empty house was not helpful for me, and what I should have done when i had these temptations to view pornography was to get out of the house, and go to adoration, a public place, with people, in the presence of our Lord.
Self recognition is also again something to consider, know yourself, have you had healthy relationships with women, if not how bad did they get and why ? take everything into consideration from childhood, teen years, to where ever you are at now, and reflect to see where the connections are . I have had to play detective with myself to connect the dots and some might find this helpful as well.
and don’t beat yourself up over it, it happens we are human, once you recognize the problem you can start changing it.
So The Blessed Mary did not fail me nor praying her Rosary, I failed to recognize what was happening, why it happened, and in turn i gave into being led to pornography, had i just been a little mentally quicker, i would have high tailed it outa the house and to adoration which is literally 5 minutes from my house.
i know there are links on fighting pornography i saw one today, and understood why my mother had put at one point religious items on the computer desk, and this is another step i have taken just now. It is a great reminder of the path i want to be on and to keep fighting my demon. If anyone finds any more links on fighting pornography feel free to drop them here, and feel free to share anything you have found that helps in this battle as i might not have thought of it either and could benefit from it.
I call pornography a demon because for me that is what it is in my life, and of course demons come in all shapes n sizes for different people.
This one though,
It starts with a little bit of lust and the thought is psh no big deal, and it grows from there.
I look forward to the day when this lust and pornography is out of my life completely; i have a goal and i wont let these final battles destroy me and I hope others facing the problem I have been facing for years can find something useful here.
Pray the rosary constantly