Finally meeting my spiritual director!

[CarmeliteGirl25]

I called my spiritual director/priest up tonight and set up an appointment with him. I have Attention Deficit Disorder and even when I write things down (like I did with this) I forget them sometimes. But, fortunately, I called him tonight and he answered his cell phone and we are meeting next Thursday! Yay! I’m so excited!

 

[Trishie]

I’m pleased for you…and thanks to God!
May the Holy Spirit always guide you both.
I ask Him to help you remember anything and everything that He desires you to remember and reveal or discuss!

 

[Under_Cover_Nun]

Congrats!

Don’t worry about the ADD… just keep going forward with a positive attitude. I have ADHD and have learned to use my skills rather than get hung up on what other people say are the negatives… and life is grand!

I hope all goes well with your spiritual direction. That is a wonderful means of deepening one’s relationship with the Lord. Remember though, if this person doesn’t work out, keep looking for the one meant for you.

Have a blessed day!

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

Congrats!

Don’t worry about the ADD… just keep going forward with a positive attitude. I have ADHD and have learned to use my skills rather than get hung up on what other people say are the negatives… and life is grand!

I hope all goes well with your spiritual direction. That is a wonderful means of deepening one’s relationship with the Lord. Remember though, if this person doesn’t work out, keep looking for the one meant for you.

Have a blessed day!

Thank you for your encouragement! I saw him today and I am confident that I will learn MUCH from him! I got an assignment from him which was to go to the Parish mission next week and then we are meeting the week after. He wanted me to write about my experience there, and also at the Carmelite Monastery that I am attending this weekend.

 

[Bebekoualy]

But how to know that the Spiritual Director is the good one?

Can we have a woman? A lay?

I left my SD a month ago (after one year together), and now I’ve got no one and I’m afraid of calling the new one given to me by the diocese… I’m afraid it might not be the good one, and I wouldn’t change all the time… is it normal?

 

[Under_Cover_Nun]

To the question about having a Spiritual Director who is a woman - yes! Trained spiritual directors come in all “flavors.” Religious Priests, Diocesan Priests, Religious Women, and lay women and men. The key to finding one is to make sure that they have been officially trained as spiritual directors.

As far as finding one which is a fit for you. You can always arrange a meeting to simply chat with a person, as long as you let them know before you meet that you are undecided and will discern if you want to continue the meetings. Another way would be to ask friends who have directors of their own…

There is a web site which lists Spiritual Directors in the United States. Perhaps there are other such sites on-line which service other countries. Browse the Net and see.

I hope this helps a little. Be patient and persevere.

Blessings!

 

[withwind]

But how to know that the Spiritual Director is the good one?

Can we have a woman? A lay?

I left my SD a month ago (after one year together), and now I’ve got no one and I’m afraid of calling the new one given to me by the diocese… I’m afraid it might not be the good one, and I wouldn’t change all the time… is it normal?

Pray hard for a good SD, and let God lead you.

 

[Inity]

I’ve had a SD when I was orthodox - he was a good priest, but always very busy, and we only were meeting at confessions. And orthodox confessions almost always are done in a hurry (too many people wanting to confess - priests just have no time for long talking with you).
He most likely lost the track of me, and may be he thinks that I left the faith at all. I still have his number and know which parish he is in, and I wonder if I should someday call him and say that I’m a catholic now. But may be it will make him even more sad!
~~
I have a new friend, who is byzantine catholic priest - I “hired” him for catechization lessons for my handicapped friends - and may be I’ll ask him about spiritual direction. At least I will ask him for advice

 

[Bebekoualy]

Thanks for all your advice. I’m quite relieved. I will pray a lot. I might have an appointment with this lay, but I dunno if I might go on with her. We’ll see…

Inity, it’s a shame that your SD didn’t have enough time for you. but I don’t see why he be sad if you tell him you converted to the Catholic Church. The Orthodox Church is very close to the Catholic one. There are much similarities, and I think he might agree with your choice. God made us free.
He might think you have lost faith, maybe. It might relieve him more than giving him grief.
If you feel like calling him… do so!

 

[Inity]

Orthodox people are different… many of them don’t like Catholic Church. I’m lurking at large russian orthodox forums, and every day there are posts popping up, blaming the Catholic Church for “heresies” etc. I don’t participate in the discussions, but I always feel for a bunch of brave catholics who are posting on these forums, being always polite and friendly - towards many orthodox “warriors”, most frequently neophytes, who know about Catholic Church from anti-catholic pamphlets, written in back in XIXth century
But there are friendly orthodox people around, too!
My uncle, who is devoted orthodox, said to me that I would burn in hell for betraying the Orthodoxy. Well, I still love him a lot 8)

My orthodox SD didn’t have anti-catholic attitude back in 90’s. (I don’t know if he changed his mind…)
Once I asked him for a blessing to start studying the Catholic Church, mostly its history and tradition - I needed it for the historical novel I was writing, and because of my general interest. And he gave me it… So, I may say that I worked according to the blessing I received… 8)

Yes, I tend to think that he may like the fact that I haven’t lost the faith…
I made a web-search and found many pages mentioning him. He is 50 years old now; and I remember him to be one of the youngest (and cutest )) priests in the parish! =)

 

[rememberme]

I’m sorry, but can someone tell me what exactly a Spiritual Director does? And how do you “pick one” per say? In the context of do you see someone who is in your…I don’t want to say sect of religion but I can’t think of any other word at the moment…or would you see someone in a religious area you felt called to? (for example someone who is a roman catholic being called to a eastern religious community)

Wow I did a really bad job of explaining that…

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

I’m sorry, but can someone tell me what exactly a Spiritual Director does? And how do you “pick one” per say? In the context of do you see someone who is in your…I don’t want to say sect of religion but I can’t think of any other word at the moment…or would you see someone in a religious area you felt called to? (for example someone who is a roman catholic being called to a eastern religious community)

Wow I did a really bad job of explaining that…

No, you didn’t. A spiritual director can be either a priest,Deacon, Sister, Brother, or lay person who is trained, and they work with you to figure out where you are called, and also help you sort through the confusion and doubt in your discernment. The best thing about having a priest do it is that you can also ask him to be your regular Confessor, as well. You can pick whoever you want to do it and ask them, but be aware that it may take a while to find someone who will say yes. It took me 7 months of active searching and re-asking a priest to be mine. He had referred me to a Sister who was a Social Ministries Coordinator, but she was reassigned and became VERY busy that I never heard from her. I asked him what to do and if he knew anyone else, and that was when he volunteered.

If you feel called to a specific community, it may help you to find a spiritual director within that community. The best way to go about finding one is asking the Vocation Director of your diocese or a religious community. More often than not, they can give you a contact list of persons available.

Here’s a few very useful websites that I used in my search for an SD:

beliefnet.com/Faiths/Christianity/Catholic/2002/11/What-To-Look-For-In-A-Catholic-Spiritual-Director.aspx

ehow.com/how_2264461_catholic-spiritual-director.html

sdiworld.org/find_a_spiritual_director.html

What I would try first (and what I did), is go to your regular Church and ask a priest or someone in the Parish Office if someone is available for spiritual direction. While you’re looking, use the Sacrament of Reconciliation for small matters in spiritual direction. It may help you find the person that is right for you. I know it helped me. Keep praying that you’ll find the one God wants you to have! Hope this helps! God bless you!

 

[rememberme]

Thank You so much so explaining it. I’m so conflicted about what I want to do and how I feel that finding someone to talk to would be a great start. It’s pretty much why I joined this site

My prayers go with you, may God walk with you and guide your steps.

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

Thank You so much so explaining it. I’m so conflicted about what I want to do and how I feel that finding someone to talk to would be a great start. It’s pretty much why I joined this site

My prayers go with you, may God walk with you and guide your steps.

You are most welcome. God bless you as you search for your calling in life.

 

[Bebekoualy]

**Inity, **your spiritual journey really fascinate me! I don’t think you would burn in the furnace because you converted to the Catholic Church. I’m glad you aren’t too much hurt by such thoughts around you.
I intend to visit an Orthodox Monastery as soon as I’m confirmed (in the Roman Catholic Church), not until then because I’m not steady enough.
I don’t know why but I feel attracted to the Orthodox Church but I can’t take the Communion of course, and neither convert to Orthodoxy.
But I think it’s an important step in my spiritual journey,I don’t know why but I’ve got this desire for more than a year.
(I might be called to a Catholic Bizantine community, who knows?) I want to know more about Orthodoxy without being automatically converted.

CarmeliteGirl25, it is good to read good advice from you. I don’t know why but I can’t help feeling GUILTY when I look for a spiritual director. The fact is that, automatically it evokes Religious Life, or Dicernment, Vocation… and most people say I’m definitely too young for that :
19 and half, jobless, still studying, living at my parents, with no working permit blablabla… in brief, it’s not for me at all…
But I need one, I want one… I can’t help writing a diary about my religious pull, and no one read it yet because I’m too afraid of showing it, it’s so personal… .

Shall I wait a few years until I find a SD? Is it normal to feel so guilty? What to do? :hypno:

 

[Inity]

**Inity, **your spiritual journey really fascinate me! I don’t think you would burn in the furnace because you converted to the Catholic Church. I’m glad you aren’t too much hurt by such thoughts around you.

I believe that in the depths of their hearts Orthodox people don’t believe that catholics are heretics destined for hell - even if they say so. They believe in God’s mercy, after all. So when I meet anti-catholic posts at Orthodox forums, I don’t rush into flame wars

I don’t know why but I feel attracted to the Orthodox Church but I can’t take the Communion of course, and neither convert to Orthodoxy.
But I think it’s an important step in my spiritual journey,I don’t know why but I’ve got this desire for more than a year.
(I might be called to a Catholic Bizantine community, who knows?) I want to know more about Orthodoxy without being automatically converted.

The orthodox tradition is beautiful, the music, the icons, the Liturgy… it’s definitely worth studying.

Shall I wait a few years until I find a SD? Is it normal to feel so guilty? What to do? :hypno:

I asked that priest to become my SD when I was around 16. Still in school, and living with my parents… I didn’t think about a vocation this time. I’ve been writing a diary too… and I just thought that every orthodox christian should have a SD
Later, when I already started writing about vocation in the diary, my father found it and became angry like hell he usually had anti-christian attitude and the idea of me joining the monastery was crazy for him. He said that I must abandon these thoughts forever.
But I haven’t. And I still feel guilty that I didn’t start seriously discerning earlier, but was stuck with dating and engagement that didn’t work.

 

[Bebekoualy]

I see… I’ll be very cautious. No one would understand the content of my diary. It’s so implicit.

I hope one day somebody will read it. Somebody I do really trust in.

Anyway, I’m still lonely and I have to pray until I find the appropriate SD.

 

[Rachaellupin]

CarmeliteGirl25, it is good to read good advice from you. I don’t know why but I can’t help feeling GUILTY when I look for a spiritual director. The fact is that, automatically it evokes Religious Life, or Dicernment, Vocation… and most people say I’m definitely too young for that :
19 and half, jobless, still studying, living at my parents, with no working permit blablabla… in brief, it’s not for me at all…
But I need one, I want one… I can’t help writing a diary about my religious pull, and no one read it yet because I’m too afraid of showing it, it’s so personal… .

Shall I wait a few years until I find a SD? Is it normal to feel so guilty? What to do? :hypno:

Firstly, you don’t need to feel guilty about finding a spiritual director, but it’s not wrong to do so either. Yes, spiritual direction usually involves discussing a vocation, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the religious life. Having a vocation can refer to feeling called to marriage or even the single life as well. Everybody has a vocation, so you don’t necessarily need to talk about a religous vocation if you don’t feel you have one. However, it sounds like you ARE feeling a religious pull, in which case you’re certainly not too young to start thinking about it seriously. I got my first spiritual director when I was fifteen, before I was even discerning.

As far as the diary goes, I wouldn’t necessarily be looking for someone to read it. If you’re going to find someone you can trust that much, it will happen over time, and you’ll know you can trust them when that time comes. For now, though, finding someone you can trust enought to talk to is the first step. Good luck.

 

[Bebekoualy]

Ok, thanks!

I asked someone to help me, but is a one-to-one mentor the same as a SD?
We had one during a “come and see” time last summer; and the sister accepted to continue to be my one-to-one until the next “come and see” in a few months.

I’m still praying though.

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

Ok, thanks!

I asked someone to help me, but is a one-to-one mentor the same as a SD?
We had one during a “come and see” time last summer; and the sister accepted to continue to be my one-to-one until the next “come and see” in a few months.

I’m still praying though.

If it’s a Sister, then I definitely would consider this an SD if you are talking about spiritual and vocational stuff. Praying for you!