Finally! The Truth Behind Peter, "The Rock"!

[FuzzyBunny116]

My favorite story is the opening to Lazarus. I can picture it so well:

Jesus talking all dramatically- “My dear friends, our beloved Lazarus has fallen asleep, I fear.”

“But Lord, sleep is a good thing!”

“No, Lazarus has fallen ASLEEP.”

“Then lets let him rest!” innocent smiles

The bible then reads “Jesus said plainly: Lazarus is dead.” I can pciture him taking a deep breathe, and completely leaving the mystical aura he always keeps around him he just kind says, rather annoyed, “Hes dead.”

The way I picture it, at least, is always funny.

 

[Roman_Army]

NotWorthy:

OK, I’ve read so many threads on what Jesus meant by telling Peter, “You are Rock…”, and I’ve come to the conclusion you are all wrong!

Have you ever considered that Jesus had a sense of humor, and he was referring to Peter’s ability (or lack thereof) of walking on water? “You are Rock…”

I’m sorry, I just thought a little levity might remind us that we need to lighten up sometimes.

Maybe my sense of humor is also,

NotWorthy

NotWorthy:

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**I hope you’re not really serious.:bigyikes: You can’t be serious. To seriously say that Jesus was just telling a joke when he said that, surely points out your rejection of the undeniable truth. The Bible is completely infallible and inspired by God. To say that such a saying was just a joke is saying that the entire bible is a Joke. Sure, Jesus may have had a sense of humor, but when it comes to matters of faith and morals there is no joke! **

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I suggest you read all the Catholic Answers tracts on it all over again:

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catholic.com/library/church_papacy.asp

I also seriously advise you, to stop playing these games with the truth.

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[Roman_Army]

**I understand there was a manuscript of chapter 2 of Acts in St. Luke’s handwriting found which has Peter saying at the end of his sermon at the first Pentecost, “… if you smellllllllllllllllllllllll, what THE ROCK, isssssssssssssssssssss cookin!” :ehh: ← (St. Peter giving the crowd the people’s eyebrow.) **

**Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. **

SwissGuard!

**LOL!! You should be a Catholic Commedian! Who said you can’t do a commedy act while doing apologetics? **

 

[NotWorthy]

NotWorthy:

**I hope you’re not really serious.:bigyikes: You can’t be serious. To seriously say that Jesus was just telling a joke when he said that, surely points out your rejection of the undeniable truth. The Bible is completely infallible and inspired by God. To say that such a saying was just a joke is saying that the entire bible is a Joke. Sure, Jesus may have had a sense of humor, but when it comes to matters of faith and morals there is no joke! **

I suggest you read all the Catholic Answers tracts on it all over again:

catholic.com/library/church_papacy.asp

I also seriously advise you, to stop playing these games with the truth.

OK, please tell me you’re joking, now. I mean, you don’t honestly think I was serious when I posted this?

Maybe my subtlety is NotWorthy?

 

[AlanFromWichita]

NotWorthy:

OK, please tell me you’re joking, now. I mean, you don’t honestly think I was serious when I posted this?

Maybe my subtlety is NotWorthy?

This is a tough call. I think my bull detectors are NotWorthy.

Alan

 

[Grace_and_Glory]

I always think Matthew 16:5-12 is funny. The disciples forget to bring bread. Jesus tells them to beware of the yest of the Pharisees and Saducees, and the disciples conclude that Jesus says this because they forgot the bread. Jesus reminds them that, on the evidence of His previous multiplication of loaves, He really didn’t need them to bring bread. The disciples finally figure it out. I just find this funny because I can see Jesus being amazed at how imperceptive His disciples were.

Another passage I think is funny is Acts 12:13-14. Peter had been imprisoned and released by an angel. He returned to the house where many people were praying. “When he knocked at the outer gate, a maid named Rhoda came to answer. On recognizing Peter’s voice, she was so overjoyed that, instead of opening the gate, she ran in and announced that Peter was standing at the gate.” Of course, no one believed her.

 

[NotWorthy]

Grace and Glory:

I always think Matthew 16:5-12 is funny. The disciples forget to bring bread. Jesus tells them to beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and Saducees, and the disciples conclude that Jesus says this because they forgot the bread.

If you consider this is the same group of Apostles who were quarreling over who was the most important, I can see this exchange:

Simon: (whispering) You know, Master, James forgot the bread.

James: I brought the bread last time. It was John who forgot the bread!!!

John: (mumbling) I thought you said fish. * I brought anchovies, instead.*

I’m sorry, it was funnier in my head, than it is on this post.

NotWorthy

 

[misterX]

AlanFromWichita:

I’ve always heard,

He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.

I like the version
“he who laughs last, thinks slowest.”

 

[LuigiColetta]

I know this thread died, but I just read it.

One…isn’t it possible that Jesus meant both Camel and Big Rope? Wouldn’t this be more like Him. Both translations are true…

Second…it isn’t something funny about an event that Jesus was directly involved, but indirectly…I always laughed at the verse in the bible that talks about the Blind Man since birth that Jesus cured. The Sadducces (I think it was them, not the Pharisees) tell this blind man, now cured, that this Jesus is a sinner. The blind man just responds: If He is a sinner I do not know. I know that I was blind and now I can see!!!

 

[NotWorthy]

LuigiColetta:

I always laughed at the verse in the bible that talks about the Blind Man since birth that Jesus cured. The Sadducces (I think it was them, not the Pharisees) tell this blind man, now cured, that this Jesus is a sinner. The blind man just responds: If He is a sinner I do not know. I know that I was blind and now I can see!!!

I agree. I have the biggest smile on my face during this Gospel reading, because I can picture the Sadduccees just beating their heads against the wall.
Sadduccees: “Tell us He’s a sinner!!!”
Blind Man: “Look guys, all I know is that, until I met Him, I couldn’t see and now I can. Um, can I go home, now?”

NotWorthy

 

[cathlicnlovinit]

Not to make light of Our Lord…but Jesus is DA MAN!!!

 

[Roman_Army]

NotWorthy:

OK, please tell me you’re joking, now. I mean, you don’t honestly think I was serious when I posted this?

Maybe my subtlety is NotWorthy?

NotWorthy:

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**You were Joking? **

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Yes, I did think you were serious. It sounded and looked serious. You should’ve posted within it that it wasn’t serious, lol. You’d be surprised how many people seriously come up with such silly conclusions, lol. You fooled me there. Sorry.

May God bless you.

 

[marcadam]

cathlicnlovinit:

Not to make light of Our Lord…but Jesus is DA MAN!!!

My sister-in-law lived in Queens, and on the way to her apartment we saw there a church (not Catholic I don’t think) with large lettering on the side:

Jesuchristo Es
El SEÑOR

I got a smile out of that.

 

[NotWorthy]

Roman_Army:

**You were Joking? **

**Yes, I did think you were serious. It sounded and looked serious. You should’ve posted within it that it wasn’t serious, lol. **

May God bless you.

Of course I was joking. You didn’t see me smiling to myself as I was typing that post?!!?!?

And yes, my friend, God has blessed me… with a site like this where I can share both my Love for Christ and my poor sense of humor.

Thanks,

NotWorthy

 

[gusano]

Greg72:

Thanks for sharing that, Jayson. The more that we learn of the original languages, the more we can truly appreciate the text. It must be very difficult for the translators to retain as much of the original meaning as they managed to.** It’s too bad that God didn’t speak English **

Reading your post reminded me of a passage dealing with the same word -

“In Aramaic (the language allegedly spoken by Jesus) the word camel and the word rope are spelled exactly the same, “gamla.” I wasn’t there, so I can’t say for sure, but I’ll bet in Matthew 19:24 Jesus says, “It’s easier for a rope (not camel) to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.” Duh!” - “The Chicken Qabalah of Rabbi Lamed Ben Clifford” by Lon Mulo Duquette

The translators of the King James Version made at least one very interesting change in addition to the more innocent mistranslations. I’ve started another thread called “Unicorns in the King James Version” if anyone’s interested.

• Greg

Maybe if God had spoken english…he would have cleaned it up… and we would not see as many goofey mistakes as we do.
for example;
"Without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness"… (Heb. 9;22) in english.

makes Christ’s blood seem as useless as dandruff, old hair, withered leaves, and other un-needed things we “shed”.

but in Latin; “Derramar”= Ramify…like sap in a tree…
or blood is pumped and distributed inside a human or other animal.
in Greek; " Haima thechusia" …effusion of blood…similar to how sunlight is refracted through a prism into a rainbow of colors…
or “fusion” as in arc welding, or how atomic energy is made through “fusion.”

So, I am GLAD there are other languages available.
Especially the language of The Spirit.

gusano

 

[speedy5]

i’m sure Jesus had a sense of humor. he’s a part ot the holy trinity, and god did create the duck billed platypus… lol

 

[Nan_S]

speedy5:

i’m sure Jesus had a sense of humor. he’s a part ot the holy trinity, and god did create the duck billed platypus… lol

God created humans. Now that DID require a sense of humor.

 

[BobCatholic]

I have infallible proof that God has a sense of humor.

He created me

Wait, don’t sit there, I put a whoopie cushion there

 

[Magicsilence]

NotWorthy:

If you consider this is the same group of Apostles who were quarreling over who was the most important, I can see this exchange:

Simon: (whispering) You know, Master, James forgot the bread.

James: I brought the bread last time. It was John who forgot the bread!!!

John: (mumbling) I thought you said fish. * I brought anchovies, instead.*

I’m sorry, it was funnier in my head, than it is on this post.

NotWorthy

Brilliant.

The funniest thing i can think of:

Jesus asks one of the apostles to follow him, say Peter

Peter whips out a lightsaber saying “Yes, My Master”.

A LIGHTSABER.

Sigh, that was damn funny when i was thinking about it.

 

[NotWorthy]

Brilliant.

The funniest thing i can think of:

Jesus asks one of the apostles to follow him, say Peter

Peter whips out a lightsaber saying “Yes, My Master”.

A LIGHTSABER.

Sigh, that was damn funny when i was thinking about it.

Thank Goodness George Lucas doesn’t produce a Made for TV movie on the Bible. (Can you see where I’m going with this…)

Jesus comes up from the water, the Spirit descends upon Him in the form of a Dove, then the Clouds part and a deep voice…

“Jesus, I am your Faaaaather!”

or

“Luke, I am His Faaaaather!”

NotWorthy