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speedy5
Guest
or john the baptist uses the force to raise Jesus from the water after his baptism.
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speedy5
Guest
oh oh oh i have one. young Jesus runs into the workshop and says “yes father?” and joseph says “oh i wasn’t calling you, i just hit my thumb”
maybe that was too far?
maybe that was too far?
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RyanL
Guest
Hands down the best of God’s humor was divinely revealed to us through His messenger Bill Cosby and his treatment of Noah and the Ark. If anyone has heard Cosby’s comedy track on this, they know what I’m talking about. If not…
mainstreetmusic.com/cgi-bin/msmusic/LA0000652880.html
It’s about as much fun as you’re going to have for a buck and a quarter!
RyanL
mainstreetmusic.com/cgi-bin/msmusic/LA0000652880.html
It’s about as much fun as you’re going to have for a buck and a quarter!
RyanL
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NotWorthy
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BwaaaaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaaaa!
Subtle… but Brilliant!!!
NotWorthy
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NotWorthy
Guest
You mean,
Noah: “You want me to build an Ark?”
Yahweh: “Yes”
Noah: “Here? In the Desert?”
Yahweh: “Yes”
Noah: “… Rigggghhhhtttt… Who’s playing a trick on me?”
You’re right. Cosby was hilarious! That’s one of my all time favorite skits of his. Of course, now I’m dating myself.
NotWorthy
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MattG
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A friend, a priest, now deceased, thought this from the Gospel according to John was very funny, especially when read in Greek. The NAB is used here:
4:7 A woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.”
4:8 His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.
4:9 * The Samaritan woman said to him, “How can you, a Jew, ask me, a Samaritan woman, for a drink?” (For Jews use nothing in common with Samaritans.)
4:10 * Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God and who is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”
4:11 (The woman) said to him, “Sir, * you do not even have a bucket and the cistern is deep; where then can you get this living water?
4:12 Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us this cistern and drank from it himself with his children and his flocks?”
4:13 Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again;
4:14 but whoever drinks the water I shall give will never thirst; the water I shall give will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
4:15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I may not be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water.”
4:16 Jesus said to her, “Go call your husband and come back.”
4:17 The woman answered and said to him, “I do not have a husband.” Jesus answered her, “You are right in saying, ‘I do not have a husband.’
4:18 For you have had five husbands, and the one you have now is not your husband. What you have said is true.”
As an example of one of Jesus’ zingers this is one, but my favorite was spoken to more than one is another well-known verse from John:
8:1 while Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.*
8:2 But early in the morning he arrived again in the temple area, and all the people started coming to him, and he sat down and taught them.
8:3 Then the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery and made her stand in the middle.
8:4 They said to him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery.
8:5 Now in the law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. * So what do you say?”
8:6 They said this to test him, so that they could have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and began to write on the ground with his finger.*
8:7 * But when they continued asking him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”
8:8 Again he bent down and wrote on the ground.
And some say thay Jesus didn’t write anything in the Bible!!
It is my hope that no one will reply with the wornout conclusion that references Jesus’ Mother.
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NotWorthy
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Yes, Mary would have ruined that lesson big time, eh?
Note, Scott Hahn had an interesting take on this. I’ve often heard this passage as a testament to not passing judgement on others. But Scott disagrees. It seems the Pharisees, as a group, felt they were separated from impurity and defilement. Pharisee means “separated one” in
Hebrew. That’s why they prided themselves on their superiority of the rabble.
So when He said, “Let he who is without sin…”, Jesus was telling the Pharisees (who felt they were above sin), to either reaffirm to the crowd their “Separated State”, stone the woman, and face the wrath of the Romans (like they wanted Jesus to do); or they could admit their sinful state and walk away in shame.
So, like the spineless group they turned out to be, the Pharisees just walked away!
Scott had an interesting interpretation on the woman at the well, too, but maybe another thread.
NotWorthy
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nianka
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Magicsilence said:
Brilliant.
The funniest thing i can think of:
Jesus asks one of the apostles to follow him, say Peter
Peter whips out a lightsaber saying “Yes, My Master”.
A LIGHTSABER.
Sigh, that was damn funny when i was thinking about it.
“Luke, I am my father!”
Come on, tell me you get it!
nianka
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nianka
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Isn’t that against canon law?
muhwahahahaha
nianka
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