Financial question regarding large purchases

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F_Marturana

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How large of a purchase should one spouse make without the (name removed by moderator)ut of the other?

I think small items like clothing and toiletries and kids things are fine. Small appliances like toasters etc, mixers or tools are fine to purchase without the other’s (name removed by moderator)ut.

What about larger purchases, like appliances or computers? How does everyone handle it?
 
F_Marturana said:
How large of a purchase should one spouse make without the (name removed by moderator)ut of the other?
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I don’t think there is any hard and fast rule. Entirely depends on the circumstances. For example, if a family was living paycheck-to-paycheck and the purchase of a toaster could throw off the monthly budget, that should be a joint decision. On the other hand, if both spouses have very well-paying professional jobs, it might not be a big deal if one of them came rolling in with a new car.

Bottom line: it just depends.
 
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Depends on the household income.

We have very low income. Anything outside of normal groceries over $25 is a discussion and planning. Back when we had a healthy income, it was $100.
 
I would be happy buying lunch or coffee or going to McDonalds, buying petrol for the car etc. without saying it to my wife.

I’d say it depends on your income and budget as well. For us I’d say that any purchases over €30 should be discussed. Other than essential items.
 
F_Marturana said:
How large of a purchase should one spouse make without the (name removed by moderator)ut of the other?
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That is a prudential matter that is unique to each couple.
F_Marturana said:
How does everyone handle it?
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We discuss most purchases. We typically replace big items because they are broken and not repairable. Not because we want new stuff. Our refrigerator is 12 years old and it died right before Christmas. My husband got parts off eBay and fixed it himself. If he couldn’t have fixed it we would have had to buy a new one. But he did so we didn’t.
 
We don’t have a lot of extra spending money in our household, so any unexpected purchase over $30 or so has to be discussed between us so we can figure out how to pay for it.
 
It is also something that depends on life circumstances, not just financial. When my husband was deployed I had to make these types of decisions without much consult with him, but if he is home, we discuss.
 
If it fits into the normal budget, we don’t need to discuss it.

We do regular savings for medical, car repair and household maintenance and have separate “virtual savings” for those categories, rather than attempting to pay for those things out of monthly income.

We also do regular monthly savings for Christmas expenses, summer kid fun, and travel to family. It also usually takes 2-3 months to budget for kid birthdays.
 
We have an agreed upon amount that we should ask eachother before spending. It pretty much never has needed to happen as neither of us spend much on ourselves anymore.

I would think the degree to which it affects both of you could warrant discussion. If it is something you will both use and there are a wide variety of them available, you both deserve (name removed by moderator)ut.

Then again, sometimes life feels so crazy we can both just be grateful one of us got it done.
 
When husband or I was planning to make a large purchase like a car or a new computer, one of us would say to the other one, “I think it’s going to be time for a new car next year.” Or, “My laptop fell on the floor and broke so I had to buy a new one. Expect to see a charge of about 300 dollars on the next bill.”

Usually these speeches would come from Husband to me because I was the one who did the bills, and if I saw a big charge I didn’t recognize, I would be calling him up to make sure it was okay because we have had a few incidents where somebody got hold of a credit card and started putting fraudulent charges on it.

Since we were both working and generally planned on paying for our own stuff out of our own salaries, we didn’t need to sit around discussing this a lot. It might have required more discussion if we were on a budget.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
When husband or I was planning to make a large purchase like a car or a new computer, one of us would say to the other one, “I think it’s going to be time for a new car next year.” Or, “My laptop fell on the floor and broke so I had to buy a new one. Expect to see a charge of about 300 dollars on the next bill.”
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Yeah. This is kinda how it works for us too. We plan in advance the really big purchases. For example we know that this January we’ll have to buy a new car and move to a different rental. Right now we’re saving for that. For smaller things like a broken computer or car repairs, we have a few hundred for a “rainy day” fund.
 
Depends on the couple and the budget. I’d never purchase something like a computer without discussing it with my husband first.

Actually we talk about smaller items too- like if we need a new toaster I’ll say “The toaster broke and I’m going to order another one, ok?” Not really for (name removed by moderator)ut, but just to keep him informed.
 
We have a monthly budget meeting, laying out most of what we plan to spend. So, in that way, we discuss most purchases in advance.

We use YNAB so each can see what is left in any budget category. Typically anything under $100, so long as the budget is in the green, we won’t discuss further. If we would have to reallocate from another category under $50 (sporadically) would be acceptable but it would have to be a need to happen before a discussion.
 
In theory, my wife and I do a budget at the beginning of every month, and we check with each other if we are going to spend anything that was not planned on the budget.

In practice, we are a bit more lax than that. We usually don’t get around to planning our budget until the month has already started. In the meantime, we spend what we need to spend on essentials like groceries and gasoline. Once the budget is planned for the month, we don’t check with each other for anything that is a planned expense that we already agreed to on our budget. Even if some essential or important expense comes up that is not on the budget, we will generally go ahead and spend the money if it is less than $100, and then try to make adjustments on the budget after the fact, if possible. But for anything unexpected that is over $100, we try to check with each other before spending.

However, our budget is a little bit flexible, and my wife and I each have our own small “personal money” budget allocation, that we can spend on anything we want.

To answer your specific examples of something like an appliance or a computer, my wife or I would never make a large purchase like that without agreeing on it first. If possible, it would be planned in our budget from the beginning of the month. Or for a very big expense, we might save up for many months in advance. The exception would be an emergency. For example, if our very old refrigerator stopped working, and we found out it would cost hundreds of dollars to fix it, then we would probably buy a new refrigerator immediately, using our emergency savings, even if we weren’t able to fit it into our monthly budget. But that is a decision we would always make together.
 
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In my house we discuss most things. No one really vetoes we just need to know the bank account situation and if we should move money around. If I want a new gun or my wife wants a new outfit we discuss first if we can do it. For instance my wife is having lasik eye surgery on friday but wanted to know if that would be too expensive.
 
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