Finding a good confessor / spiritual director

[CreatioNova]

I’m feeling that I’m at a stage in my journey that I would like to develop a relationship with a confessor/spiritual director.

Should you have a regular confessor or is it down to personal choice?

Should your confessor be the same person as your spiritual director?

How do you go about finding one?

As I dont have what could be called ‘‘strong’’ links with my local church, should I just pick up the phone and make a cold call to a priest and discuss with them what I’m looking for?

I dont even know how it works - do you meet your director regularly or is it very much on an ad hoc basis?

I’d love to hear your (name removed by moderator)ut and experiences.

 

[FickleFreckled]

If you want regular on-going spiritual direction, sometimes parish priests just don’t have the time. A wonderful place to look would be a monastery, if there is one within a reasonable distance from where you live. If not, there might be a retreat center staffed by religious. Your parish priest or diocesan offices can help you find someone. There are also trained lay directors, but i’ve never been to one so can’t comment. I used to visit a Trappist monastery monthly for direction when I lived about 30 miles from one. When I moved out of that area, I regularly visited with a Cistercian. I’ve also had spiritual direction from nuns, one in a cloistered convent. That was in the '80’s and '90’s. The area I live in now doesn’t offer very many of those opportunities so it’s hard to get spiritual direction from a religious unless it’s part of a group retreat. I miss it. It helped enormously.

 

[littleone]

I’m feeling that I’m at a stage in my journey that I would like to develop a relationship with a confessor/spiritual director.
Should you have a regular confessor or is it down to personal choice?
Should your confessor be the same person as your spiritual director?
How do you go about finding one?
As I dont have what could be called ‘‘strong’’ links with my local church, should I just pick up the phone and make a cold call to a priest and discuss with them what I’m looking for?
I dont even know how it works - do you meet your director regularly or is it very much on an ad hoc basis?
I’d love to hear your (name removed by moderator)ut and experiences.

Well after many of you telling of having a spiritual director I took one of our Carmelite priests out to practice golf. Alter that I asked him if it was possible for me to have a spiritual director, he agreed and tllme he would be very happy to be mine. So, thank you all for the information and help.

Godbless

 

[BarbaraTherese]

Well after many of you telling of having a spiritual director I took one of our Carmelite priests out to practice golf. Alter that I asked him if it was possible for me to have a spiritual director, he agreed and tllme he would be very happy to be mine. So, thank you all for the information and help.

Godbless

Wow! A Carmelite priest for a director and if he’s a good director…Man oh Man! have you struck gold!

 

[BarbaraTherese]

If you want regular on-going spiritual direction, sometimes parish priests just don’t have the time. A wonderful place to look would be a monastery, if there is one within a reasonable distance from where you live. If not, there might be a retreat center staffed by religious. Your parish priest or diocesan offices can help you find someone. There are also trained lay directors, but i’ve never been to one so can’t comment. I used to visit a Trappist monastery monthly for direction when I lived about 30 miles from one. When I moved out of that area, I regularly visited with a Cistercian. I’ve also had spiritual direction from nuns, one in a cloistered convent. That was in the '80’s and '90’s. The area I live in now doesn’t offer very many of those opportunities so it’s hard to get spiritual direction from a religious unless it’s part of a group retreat. I miss it. It helped enormously.

A wonderful place to look would be a monastery, if there is one within a reasonable distance from where you live. If not, there might be a retreat center staffed by religious. Your parish priest or diocesan offices can help you find someone. There are also trained lay directors, but i’ve never been to one so can’t comment
nuns, one in a cloistered convent

.

I’m an Australian … our diocesan offices have the rather intimidating office called “The Spirituality Office” …but its not as intimidating as it sounds. One simply rings and asks for a list of spiritual directors, and they send the list out with phone numbers and one can pick at random. If the one picked does not suit, one simply tries another on the list. I hope other diocesan offices have similar.

But I thought FF’s (smiled at the User Name! tongue twister!) post was very good and covered it all.
PS I hope “tongue twister” is understood across cultural divides! Had a bit of trouble recently with an Aussie term apparently misunderstood in the interpreting and we Aussie’s are very fond of our ‘slang’ as we call it - or colloquialisms. “Tongue twister” means very difficult to say accurately.

 

[FickleFreckled]

To CreatioNova,
Other reasons to go to someone other than your parish priest - you may at some point be reluctant to be completely honest because he sees you regularly at Mass and perhaps confession and that’s counterproductive to spiritual direction. Also, if you find that he isn’t very good at spiritual direction, you may feel obligated to continue the relationship past it’s helpfulness.

To BarbaraTheresa’s comment (hope it’s not too off-topic…)
I picked FickleFreckled because somebody else had already taken DappledThings. If you like those kinds of words, they come from Gerard Manley Hopkins’ poetry (Victorian Jesuit, amazing poet.)

 

[CreatioNova]

To CreatioNova,
Other reasons to go to someone other than your parish priest - you may at some point be reluctant to be completely honest because he sees you regularly at Mass and perhaps confession and that’s counterproductive to spiritual direction. …

If I’m reading that right then the feeling is the person who is your spiritual director shouldnt be your confessor also??

I’ve emailed a Benedictine Monastery regarding my quest - It’s quite a long way from me but heck, some great roads to ride to get there and it’s in the middle of nowhere, so would make a great place for a retreat if nothing else

 

[FickleFreckled]

If your spiritual director is a priest, then by all means, he should be your confessor as well. However, you may still end up going to your parish priest from time to time for confession, especially if your director is not conveniently located. Or your spiritual director may not be a priest. If you go to a monastery, chances are that at least some of the people giving spiritual direction will be monks who are brothers, not priests. At the monastery, I was assigned a priest, but a friend of mine had a brother.

Not to confuse you further, but once you’re working with a director, do pay attention to your comfort level with the person and evaluate after about 6 months. A big mistake I made was to continue seeing a person for two counterproductive years because I was shy about asking for someone else. He was arrogant, militaristic, could quote law with the best of them but he had no patience or sympathy for doubts. I gave up on being completely open with him and eventually the relationship dwindled to friendly small talk. That’s not how the spiritual direction relationship should work. A good spiritual director will call you out if necessary and redirect you when you’re headed the wrong way but above all will be merciful. If we had all the anwers and no issues, we wouldn’t be seeking spiritual direction in the first place. I think he was probably one-of-a-kind, though, and hopefully you’ll never run into anyone like him.

 

[FickleFreckled]

(I apologize if this posts twice; I had to re-log in;it may have submitted twice.)

If your spiritual director is a priest, he should be your confessor as well. However, you may still end up going to your parish priest from time to time for confession, especially if your director is not conveniently located. Or your spiritual director may not be a priest. If you go to a monastery, chances are that at least some of the people giving spiritual direction will be monks who are brothers, not priests. At the monastery, I was assigned a priest, but a friend of mine had a brother.

Not to confuse you further, but once you’re working with a director, do pay attention to your comfort level with the person and evaluate after about 6 months. A big mistake I made was to continue seeing a person for two counterproductive years because I was shy about asking for someone else. He was arrogant, militaristic, could quote law with the best of them but he had no patience or sympathy for doubts. I gave up on being completely open with him and eventually the relationship dwindled to friendly small talk. That’s not how the spiritual direction relationship should work. A good spiritual director will call you out if necessary and redirect you when you’re headed the wrong way but above all will be merciful. If we had all the anwers and no issues, we wouldn’t be seeking spiritual direction in the first place. I think he was probably one-of-a-kind, though, and hopefully you’ll never run into anyone like him.

 

[BarbaraTherese]

To CreatioNova,
Other reasons to go to someone other than your parish priest - you may at some point be reluctant to be completely honest because he sees you regularly at Mass and perhaps confession and that’s counterproductive to spiritual direction. Also, if you find that he isn’t very good at spiritual direction, you may feel obligated to continue the relationship past it’s helpfulness.

To BarbaraTheresa’s comment (hope it’s not too off-topic…)
I picked FickleFreckled because somebody else had already taken DappledThings. If you like those kinds of words, they come from Gerard Manley Hopkins’ poetry (Victorian Jesuit, amazing poet.)

Hi FF…I hope you dont think I was being in any way critical of your User Name, which I really liked, I just found it difficult to say and this could be purely my own personal experience…especially having had all my bottom teeth broken off at the gums (bar one) due to chewing lollies as I gave up cigarettes, this can make many words very difficult for me to say - and useless knowledge!!! Certainly “dappled things” rings bells and I have read some of Hopkins’ poetry I know, although I most never can connect a poem up with its author. For some reason, the only line of poetry I can from memory connect to its author is Milton’s “when I consider how my life is spent”…and more useless info …
…I am a master of “The Useless Information” …in fact a priest once told me I was a library of useless information!!!

Blessings and my regards…Barb

 

[FickleFreckled]

Reply to Barb,
Good heavens, no - I didn’t take your comments negatively at all. I also collect useless info, which amazes and dazzles absolutely no one but me, so I can relate. The poem is “Pied Beauty”.
How long did you smoke and how long ago did you quit? Did it take you forever? (Wish I could say I don’t, but I still do.) Good for you!

 

[BarbaraTherese]

Quoting FickledFreckle…woops! FickleFreckle

Reply to Barb,
Good heavens, no - I didn’t take your comments negatively at all.

Thank goodness for that it is a complete absolution of guilt for me!

I also collect useless info, which amazes and dazzles absolutely no one but me, so I can relate.

Dont burst my bubbles please! My useless information is as dazzling to all as it is to me

The poem is “Pied Beauty”.

Yes, Now I remember…but only that the poem is called “Pied Beauty” and thank you and because it all happened under (to me) such funny circumstances, I probably will never forget that “Pied Beauty” was written by Hopkins who was a Jesuit poet…and being me will probably state “but I am sure that a pickled freckled is mentioned in it…I really am!”
…more uselessinfo on the way: St. Teresa of Avila in instructing her nuns on the rules for their recreation period states that there are to be no games…as The Lord will send into the community sisters who will keep them amused. I burst out laughing and then began to seriously consider that perhaps I could have a vocation to Carmel after all

How long did you smoke and how long ago did you quit? Did it take you forever? (Wish I could say I don’t, but I still do.) Good for you!

MATHS …I began smoking probably really around 17 or 18 - may have had a puff or two I didn’t like at all prior to that. I am now 63yrs old and gave up some 21months ago. Not for health reasons, rather for pocket reasons. I was a dreadful chain smoker often lighting another before I had fully smoked the previous…and that I have given up is a testimony that miracles can and do happen. I used a nicotine replacement lozenge to do it and now and then still may have one. Long experience at it tells me that perfection in anything is totally and truly beyond me in all things. Not only this the damage to my teeth from using lollies too to give up, has meant that my entrenched personal vanity has had to get lost too The Lord indeed moves in strange ways. Two things I always thought were beyond me - giving up smoking and loss of personal vanity. Huh? said The Lord! …a hard taskmaster to the deserving too - when the teeth went, so did the makeup
I had a couple of attempts to give up the smokes and have been told by these non smoking counsellors that most ex smokers do make a couple of real attempts before actually giving up. And I mean real attempts, not my frequent “I’m going to give them up” and then 10 minutes later “I just can’t do it” and lighting up

Blessings, FF, and my regards…making a note to thank and praise God for you and to ask that He grant you too the miracle of giving up the fags!..Barb

If only these squeaky clean and often quite offensive non smokers ever in their lives ever … realized just how hard it is to give up nicotine addiction and I hear easier to abandon heroin. But "all things are possible to God’…I still like to sit with smokers and breathe in all that lovely passive nicotine…

Re how long it took to abandon smoking. At first I used the lozenges to cut down on the smokes and when I did smoke I punished myself…I gave up in winter and if I had a smoke I made myself smoke it sitting on the edge of the bath in my freezing cold bathroom - and I hate the cold. Probably to when I had my last cigarette it took about a month…but one really does need to work out what will work for oneself and follow that. The non smoking counsellors were shocked that I was using lozenges and still smoking. I stopped ringing them!

 

[BarbaraTherese]

I had to add this and I know you anyway will take it as meant to amuse and not a declaratrion of mystical theology …when I lost my best friend (my smokes) and then my teeth and then my vanity and then my makeup…the thought that came to me was “these passive purgations can be sheer hell!” …they can come in very strange garments indeed.

 

[FickleFreckled]

Hi, “Lolly”,
You’re very funny - I bet the Carmelites would take you in a New York minute! You’ve probably seen the quote from Pope Benedict that said ‘humor is an essential element in the mirth of creation.’ What a great thought for the sillies. Back in the old days, SPIRITUAL DIRECTORS weren’t in favor of much mirth (notice how I cleverly worked that in so we wouldn’t be too off-topic?) and in fact were sometimes pretty morose. Glad that’s changed. If God can’t take a joke, we’re in deep trouble.
My heart goes out to you about your teeth and the pain that went along with it. Hard way to quit smoking or lose vanity.
Hope your day (or night, depending on where you are…) is a very happy one.
“Pickled Freckle”

 

[BarbaraTherese]

Hi, “Lolly”,
You’re very funny - I bet the Carmelites would take you in a New York minute!

Hello there FF…Nah Carmelites won’t have me…too old and too crazy (I suffer Bipolar). Our Carmelites here in Austrlia have big problems…community members are getting on in life, many quite frail and elderly and no new blood coming in. Although I get replies that state “if only”. A carmelite prioress is my very best pal and that is truly a great gift that The Lord has granted me…when we first met she wasn’t prioress and our friendship and shared confidences have now spanned near on 30 years, or perhaps more. Our Carmelite monastery here probably will die out completely and not too far ahead…the few remaining and elderly and very frail will probably transfer to another Carmel somewhere in Australia I think.

You’ve probably seen the quote from Pope Benedict that said ‘humor is an essential element in the mirth of creation.’

No, actually I had never sighted the quote, but I like it - and thank you for passing it on. I think every single thing we have material, spiritual…all things human…are pure gift of God and for good stewardship, and of course, a sense of the funny, crazy and ludicrous in life, is one of these gifts for good stewardship. I dont think one needs to be all that long trying to live a spiritual life, when the option appears to either laugh and at oneself too, or become neurotic, or worse…and go round the twit. I know!

What a great thought for the sillies. Back in the old days, SPIRITUAL DIRECTORS weren’t in favor of much mirth (notice how I cleverly worked that in so we wouldn’t be too off-topic?) and in fact were sometimes pretty morose. Glad that’s changed. If God can’t take a joke, we’re in deep trouble.

Thanks for the gentle nudge about staying on topic…I am a great offender and a consistent hijacker. Having been educted by nuns all my life and pre V2 too, I took myself and all far too seriously and with Hell and damnation threatening if I did not. I think there is probably something heroically virtuous about somehow (Grace) staying Catholic through those times Being Catholic and a committed one was a dreadful strain, or at least I found it so, and though I tried very hard and with priestly direction, I got into such a tangle of confusions and in many ways. I had a persistent dread of Hell and was driven totally by fear of God though there was a longing in me I never could identify…love just had no room to grow. The longing I think was to love. I think probably I had to suffer a mental illness to bring it all into complete crisis so that I had hit rock bottom and only one way left to go. Becoming mentally ill too was what developed my sense of humour…actually sufferers of MI in the main have a great sense of the funny and about themselves.

SPIRITUAL DIRECTION is very important if one desires to live a committed spiritual life - and to find a director for oneself that is the ‘right fit’. Although St. Teresa of Avila did write that if one could not find one, then to quite confidently and trustfully place oneelf in The Lord’s hands and one would be quite safe. I went 20 years unable to find one after my great pal, and priest director/confessor of some 15years died. No one wanted to direct a crazy person I think was at the basis of it.

My heart goes out to you about your teeth and the pain that went along with it. Hard way to quit smoking or lose vanity.

Nah, wasn’t as bad as I painted it - just hoping to create some laughs…in fact I am delighted to loose both cigarettes and the concern about appearance - they both were a dreadful burden…even if in the process my teeth suffered. It really doesn’t worry me…and I am the person who visited the bathroom immediately on getting up and combed and brushed my hair and put on a bit of makeup. It was an obsession and a compulsion and there is no price too great to pay to just no longer worry about appearance and not pay out tons of money for cigarettes. My concerns about appearance really got to the neurotic stage, I think, because psychiatristes do tend to assess where their patient is at by considering their appearance and whether they are looking after themselves. And there wasn’t much I wouldn’t do to keep my doc happy…no hospitalizations and no additional medication.

Hope your day (or night, depending on where you are…) is a very happy one.
“Pickled Freckle”

God’s Blessings and His Peace to you and yours…regards…Lolly in South Australia
I know we have a rule about staying on topic…I feel a bit sorry for The Holy Spirit though who indeed leads where He may. C’est la vie. I’ve never been good with rules and regulations while I believe in them as necessary and even helpful…some of them.

 

[FickleFreckled]

Hi, Barb,
I don’t know how to cut and paste from someone’s post yet - sorry!

You’re so furtunate to have had a 15 year spiritual direction relationship and then to have a Carmelite prioress for a best friend. What a gift!

Re “no one wanted to direct a crazy person,”, it does seem that if a person doesn’t fit into the neat “average” category, nobody quite knows what to do with them, doesn’t it?

Has there been a thread at some point on Bipolar Disorder? You’re so open about it - and I, for one, would love to ask some questions. New thread, maybe?

 

[BarbaraTherese]

Hi, Barb,
I don’t know how to cut and paste from someone’s post yet - sorry!

You’re so furtunate to have had a 15 year spiritual direction relationship and then to have a Carmelite prioress for a best friend. What a gift!

Re “no one wanted to direct a crazy person,”, it does seem that if a person doesn’t fit into the neat “average” category, nobody quite knows what to do with them, doesn’t it?

Has there been a thread at some point on Bipolar Disorder? You’re so open about it - and I, for one, would love to ask some questions. New thread, maybe?

A big hi there, FF:wave: …

Re cutting and pasting…sounds like you are where I was when I was first on Catholic Answers…I am still a learner on the computer, and a lot I learnt from asking on CA how to do something or other.
To cut and past…

1. 
   *]with your browser put it on the last letter you want to cut and paste, left click once
   *]and then drag the browser over what you want to cut and paste. This is called “highlighting”.
   *]Then go up to your toolbar (close to top left on the window) where it says “Edit” click onto that and then click onto “Copy”.
   *]Then simply put your browser where you want your cut and paste to go. Go up to “Edit” on the toolbar again and click paste. BINGO!
   Also on the bottom right of the post you are reading you will see an icon “Quote” if you click onto that a new window will come up in which you can reply to the post you are reading, with the post you were reading quoted out for you in the reply facility.
   
   If you wish, you can PM me about procedures and I will do my best. Altho I am somewhat fearful it will be a case of the blind leading the blind …I too am still a learner. If I can’t help go to the “Clubhouse Forum” and they are very very helpful indeed. I currently have a thread in there asking how to watch videos on my computer.
   

   You’re so furtunate to have had a 15 year spiritual direction relationship and then to have a Carmelite prioress for a best friend. What a gift!

   Oh boy and do I know how blest I have been and mainly in the above…but in many other ways too denied to others. “To whom is given much, then much will be expected”.
   

   Re “no one wanted to direct a crazy person,”, it does seem that if a person doesn’t fit into the neat “average” category, nobody quite knows what to do with them, doesn’t it?

   Bingo! You got it! Society in unwritten terms and law stipulates what they will hold as normal, acceptable and correct. This forms a paddock we call “the herd” around which there is a boundary…be outside that boundary that imaginary boundary and one becomes abnormal, annaceptable and incorrect. Society has created psychology and also psychiatray to bring those who step or who are outside the boundaries back inside the boundaries so the status quo is not disturbed by the unruly and non acceptable, non understandable. And of course what comes under those terms is the unknown to them, and what is unknown we usually fear. Fight or flight principal applies. In creating psychology and psychiatry “fight” is engaged. Have you noticed how psychiatry keeps on creating new names for behaviour outside the norm…or new illnesses they are observing - people not behaving as they should . If you ask me society is mutating, and they just can’t see it. Have you every read “Future Shock” by Alvine Toffler…the theory is that if we dont limit the knowledge coming into our heads - the stimulation to our brains…mass schizophrenia!!! …in a nutshell
   
   That’s it in the proverbial nutshell…but people will get ridiculous over that explanation. Interestingly in about 1974 headlines on an articel in Time Magazine “In an insane society, the sane will be considered insane”…and to my mind society has gone mad. But then to society, I am mad. Force of numbers wins…strength over weakness. We really are creatures of nature a little higher than animals in that we know that we know.
   However, animals kill only to survive…the human being can and sometimes does do it for pure amusement and pleasure and other questionable reasons. I mean what is more insane than war…to fight and kill for abstractions…or for territory. To my mind, if you wanna be a politician - if there are bad arguments between peoples, then put the polly’s in a room with weapons, who walks out, wins i.e. killing two birds with one stone…settles the differences and less politicians If you think that is ridiculous, it is.
   

   Has there been a thread at some point on Bipolar Disorder? You’re so open about it - and I, for one, would love to ask some questions. New thread, maybe?

   Heaps of us crazies here on CA, FF…and most all of us right out the closet and prepared to talk about it. There was a recent thread that had a lot of activity but died out, I think early last month or so. You can either post into this and bring it to life again…but I really think a new thread may be more productive…something like “Journeying with Mental Illness”
   …and then in your OP, Opening Post, say that you would like to understand more about mental illness and what it means to have one and live in soceity with one etc.
   Your call as we say here…or it is up to you which way you go. I will return and post a link for you to that thread that died out sometime last month…in case you choose to bring it to life again, simply by putting a post into it. You may like to have a read too.
   
   Blessings and with regards…barb
   Here is that thread on Mental Illness…note that it has two pages…
   forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=223713&highlight=mental+illness

 

[BarbaraTherese]

Howdy again FF…You are only a new member, so it is I who am at fault and I am I recognized today a consistent “thread hijacker”…or I take a thread off its topic and subject - and this is not in accord with CAF = Catholic Answers Forums, rules. So if we want to continue our discussion, it needs to be in a new thread…but it is all entirely my fault. I really should know better. I will return and post via Edit a link to CAF Rules, and best to read them and really try to stay within their limits (herd and boundaries!). A psychiatrist once said to me “Barb, be as crazy as you like on the inside…just learn to behave yourself on the outside!” I learnt - the hard way and the docs made sure that I did - that way they hoped the lesson would sink home. It did.
Blessings and regards…Barb - sometimes I take my signature off a Post, simply because I feel that I have taken up enough space in a thread.
Forum Rules: forums.catholic-questions.org/forumdisplay.php?f=91
Also, sometimes at the beginning of a forum are “Sticky’s” dont ask me on earth what that actually means, I think of “it sticks and stays”…good to read them to as sometimes they are rules applying to that Forum. Happy travelling on CAF! Chin up and be good!

 

[littleone]

Wow! A Carmelite priest for a director and if he’s a good director…Man oh Man! have you struck gold!

Barb since i was given the right to put together a OCD group I have had nothing but ultra bad thoughts people on at me about life in generals, and my family and work mate speaking against my life. BUT …but i know that this must be something good happening since I have so much opposition since I have started the prayers morning and night.

Yes the priest has very good vision for me and words of wisdom. i saw him to day and some things I have had problems with he showed me, through biblical wording how to let go. Although it is not easy to let go I have and am now to right down what happened today and a few notes per day at his direction to be checked at the end of the week. I also see him monthly.
Good eh!

Godbless

 

[BarbaraTherese]

Barb since i was given the right to put together a OCD group I have had nothing but ultra bad thoughts people on at me about life in generals, and my family and work mate speaking against my life. BUT …but i know that this must be something good happening since I have so much opposition since I have started the prayers morning and night.

Yes the priest has very good vision for me and words of wisdom. i saw him to day and some things I have had problems with he showed me, through biblical wording how to let go. Although it is not easy to let go I have and am now to right down what happened today and a few notes per day at his direction to be checked at the end of the week. I also see him monthly.
Good eh!

Godbless

Hi again LO!..OCD - Apologies, LO…what do these initial stand for? and what is the group? I am not too sure if you mean OCD = Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and the group is a support group, or whether you mean a Lay Carmlite Group, which I think from memory though is OCDS = Order of Carmel Discalced Secular? …and it is a Lay Carmelite group.

Either way, it does not matter - for both are very worthy and good groups.

I have never forgotten what a nun in College said to me: “If the devil sights one half inch only in this world of good that is going to be done, it will shift the whole of Heaven and earth if it could to prevent it”. Also Jesus told us “they have persecuted me and they will persecute you” and other things too (New Testament letters i think) like “Satan is like a roaring lion going about seeking whom it may devour. Stand up to it strong in Faith”.

There is no need whatsoever to fear Satan for The Lord is far stronger than it…but The Lord and Scripture warns us that we can expect the jolly thing to be problematic in our lives. We stand for God…and it and its servants stand against God, therefore us too. And Satan and its angels, and its servants, and we too are all citizens of this world…but this world is our exile and our home is Heaven. Satan and those other creeps are destined for an eternity in Hell. And then, as Revelations tell us, with the return of Christ in Glory, there shall be “a new Heaven and a new earth”…what this means we really cannot imagaine, only that it is true - and we must wait and see and see we shall one day. Then, there shall be no more tears, for “every tear shall be wiped away” and by The Lord. “It is The Lord!”

So opposition and criticism which does bring suffering to us is the cross and a blessing; however, this does not mean that we are not hurt and do suffer, because if we did not, then it is not a cross, huh? In our human self we really do suffer while Faith tells us it is the cross and a blessing. As I said in that other Post elsewhere, one day in Heaven we will find out who we truly are and as Scripture tells us about Heaven “every tear shall be wiped away”. Another thought is in the Hail Holy Queen we pray “to thee do we cry pour banished children of Eve, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears”. As long as we live the cross in some form great or small will be somewhere in our lives…this is the usual - and of course there is also the unusual and the cross is nothing but sweetness- for “God can do all things”. And cross or sweetness, they are equal gifts from God.

“As gold is tested in fire, so the servants of god are tested in the crucible of suffering” (Old Testament)…altho I don’t think that God tests us because He knows all things. To my mind “stregthen” is a better word…for it is in adversity that we are strengthened and find out just how strong we are, or perhaps are not. Bad times (cross) make us stronger and strengthen the virtues in us as good times just cannot do…unless it is a pure and free, unearned, Gift of God for His Own Reasons.

If you have begun to pray and daily or regularly especially, oh boy oh boy does that upset Ol’ Nick and the creep will try to do all it can to upset you and disuade you - to discourage you and in very many ways. It is a regular creep and if it can identify your weakness and we all have them, then it sticks in the knife and twists and twists and twists. A daily prayer, even a quick aspiration only to Our Lady and St. Michael is great protection, as of course is always The Lord … for Our Lady and St. Micheal will be praying to Him for you. Can you put a special place where you live, doesn’t have to be much or expensie at all, that is a special little holy place in your home? Perhaps a statue or a picture on the wall somewhere? Its just that I find (and not all do) that at times when things are difficult it really does remind me of my Faith and all that it tells me. Holy Water too is a good thing to have in the home somewhere…and of course, blessed rosary beads…or even if they aren’t blessed - at least we have a rosary somewhere.
Are you enrolled in Our Lady’s scapular (given to Carmel through St. Simon Stock)…I am sure Father will enrol you if you are not and they dont cost much at all, or one can use the scapular medal…whichever suits best.
Pray to St. Joseph too, for if Our Lady is Mother of The Church, then St. Joseph must be therefore, foster father of The Church. And he is declared Patron of The Church…as a child of The Church he will watch over you and pray for you too. And all of us as well through your prayers to him.
Dont think you have to spend hours at prayer…it is not about time…not at all…rather it is about our heart and how much heart we put into it - even if we only spend 15seconds. Better 5seconds of heartfelt prayer…than 5 hours to be saintly and thus thinking more of ourselves than to whom we are speaking…for prayer is to communicate with The Lord.

Yes the priest has very good vision for me and words of wisdom. i saw him to day and some things I have had problems with he showed me, through biblical wording how to let go. Although it is not easy to let go I have and am now to right down what happened today and a few notes per day at his direction to be checked at the end of the week. I also see him monthly.
Good eh!

Good?..GOOD?..Oh man oh man, you have struck pure spiritual gold in a Carmelite priest, is my opinion. Trust him all the way and don’t let what I or anyone else may say undermine that - is my advice…and I holy envy you in a Carmelite priest, truly!!! I think that if we are finding the spiritual journey all light and sweetness and easy and all the time…then probably we have a problem somewhere in our spiritual life that we need to address. Always the cross - Alleluia Amen. Now you have a director, it is a new stage in your journey…i know that Father will really look after you and surely guilde you well. His advice sounds pretty good to me. Yep! monthly is great - I see mine monthly too.

I have had nothing but ultra bad thoughts people on at me about life in generals, and my family and work mate speaking against my life. BUT …but i know that this must be something good happening since I have so much opposition since I have started the prayers morning and night.

Goodness, this must indeed be very hard for you. I hope that you find CAtholic Answers here a great support for you…seems to me no one else is offering you much affirmation and encouragement at all, although I might be wrong and you have good friends somewhere. Of course, Father is the very best friend to you of all! And, of course, Father in agreeing to be your director has paid you quite a compliment for he thinks that you will not be wasting his time or that he is not the one to guide you. QUITE A COMPLIMENT FROM A CARMELITE PRIEST!

Sometimes I wish I could just jump through this jolly computer and be where others are personally, rather than trying to support and encourage through cyberspace…but I know that The Lord will give you precisely what you need and even more than I ever could, abundantly more…Peace to you and yours…regards…Barb

PS…If I say anything at all that disturbs you even the slightest, then make a note of it and talk about it with Father. He is your director and you can open up your whole heart and soul to him in every way. Or you can ask me what I meant, or that you don’t understand and I will try to explain…but the written word is not always the best way of conveying meaning, not always. We can only try our best.
I make little notes so I know what I want to discuss with my director…or perhaps write a letter to him.
But never let anything disturb you. Do you know St. Teresa of Avila’s Bookmark (as it is known)
St. Teresa’s Bookmark
Let nothing trouble you, let nothing frighten you.
All things are passing; God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
He who possesses God lacks nothing:
God alone suffices.

and this:
The Lord doesn’t look so much at the greatness of our works as the love with which they are done.

-from the Interior Castle, by St. Teresa of Avila

I hope I have not overloaded you and made things confusing, I really do!