Finding a good confessor

[student_of_God]

I’m not sure this is the right forum for this but I am looking for a confessor and I don’t feel comfortable going to my parish priest he’s not to friendly and a little stand offish and I would like to start going to confession at least twice a month and I would like some one who’s used to me and what I’m going through so he may better help me .

Well anyway what would be some key factors in your decision?

 

[baltobetsy]

First, you want a priest who will guide you according to what the Church teaches. Look for a priest who has a reputation for orthodoxy - one who preaches on pro-life issues, sin, the need for the Sacraments, etc.

Next, you want a priest who “gets” you. One who actually listens to what you say instead of taking a keyword and going on autopilot. Trial and error is the way here. You’ll just have to try out various confessors until you find the one right for you.

And, just a word of advice about your parish priest - unless you’ve already confessed to him and found him wanting, do give him a chance. Some stuffy priests are entirely different in Confession.

One way to tell how the priests are is by the length of their Confession lines and how quickly they move. My favorite confessor always has a long line that moves very slowly. That’s because he’s listening carefully to each person and taking all the time necessary to give good, thoughtful advice.

Finally, and most importantly, you need to pray for God to guide you to the priest He has chosen for you. And pray for the priest who hears your Confession. Even if you don’t seem to connect with him, the Holy Spirit still speaks to you through him.

God bless you in your search.

Betsy

 

[student_of_God]

thank you that’s along the lines of what I was thinking

 

[Joe17]

What Betsy said is right. A potential source for confessors can be monastaries and the like, besides the local parish. Don’t know what’s around your locale, but there could be retired priest’s who would have more time to take one under spiritual direction. Just a thought.

Joe

 

[RosalieM]

I stopped confessing to my parish priests when I discovered our weekly visiting priest.
He is like a deep pool of peace. I could tell him I was a habitual serial killer (kidding ) and he would calmly give me sincere, effective and gentle advice. I don’t have that kind of confidence in my parish priests, who although competent enough, are used to the people they’ve known for decades. You could be in my parish for 30 years and still be considered a newcomer.