Finding a Spiritual Director

[DrFloyd]

I recently sent this e-mail to my local diocesan vocations director:

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Hello Father,

Thank you for responding.

Where to begin…it would take me pages and pages to type out my story. Suffice it to say for now I am a single man, never married, no children. I teach social studies at a public high school. When I was a teenager and in college, I strongly felt like I should be a priest or in some form of religious life, and contacted my local diocese vocations office (Scranton) at that time. From my interactions with them, I felt the priesthood/religious life wasn’t for me, and I turned away. However, in the years since, it comes back periodically, and that is why I contacted you.

I feel what I need is a spiritual director, someone who I can talk frankly and honestly about issues I have with Catholic dogma. It seems like it SHOULD work, but every time I try to become involved, I find some issue which turns me away. I consequently have been shunning attending Mass, because I become so frustrated by my emotions – I like what I see and feel and I want to be involved, but I become upset about it because of my doctrinal hang-ups. Consequently, I stay away…but then I always wonder and come back to it. I pretty much have driven all of my close friends crazy over the years with talking about this.

I need someone who I can talk to about my doctrinal issues, and be able to explain them in a manner that I can accept. I don’t believe my issues are insurmountable, but it will take me a long time to be able to work through them. I want to, though. I feel like this is something I should be involved with, and I want to be. I think with the right spiritual director, my issues can be overcome.

Kindly respond back when you are able. If you would like me to meet you in person at your office so we can talk, I would very much like to do that.

==========

Am I barking up the right tree here? Is a spiritual director what I need? If anyone has anything else they would like to add, please do so. Thank you.

 

[JCnMe]

I think what you need to find is your Faith and Trust in God…God placed you in the Catholic Church from birth-you need to see through your doctrinal issues and participate in the mass as the beautiful worship and communion with God service that it is- and not expect all your answers to be given to you before you grace the church with your presence-holding out does what???Punishes the Church? Punishes God?.. if you are being compelled to go- GO!..take those first steps and God will be walking with you all the way…your answers will be given to you in God’s time and in God’s way-Prayer is the request and meditation/quieting yourself to listen- will bring the answers-have Faith and Trust in that…

 

[Oneofthewomen]

I recently sent this e-mail to my local diocesan vocations director:

==========

Hello Father,

Thank you for responding.

Where to begin…it would take me pages and pages to type out my story. Suffice it to say for now I am a single man, never married, no children. I teach social studies at a public high school. When I was a teenager and in college, I strongly felt like I should be a priest or in some form of religious life, and contacted my local diocese vocations office (Scranton) at that time. From my interactions with them, I felt the priesthood/religious life wasn’t for me, and I turned away. However, in the years since, it comes back periodically, and that is why I contacted you.

I feel what I need is a spiritual director, someone who I can talk frankly and honestly about issues I have with Catholic dogma. It seems like it SHOULD work, but every time I try to become involved, I find some issue which turns me away. I consequently have been shunning attending Mass, because I become so frustrated by my emotions – I like what I see and feel and I want to be involved, but I become upset about it because of my doctrinal hang-ups. Consequently, I stay away…but then I always wonder and come back to it. I pretty much have driven all of my close friends crazy over the years with talking about this.

I need someone who I can talk to about my doctrinal issues, and be able to explain them in a manner that I can accept. I don’t believe my issues are insurmountable, but it will take me a long time to be able to work through them. I want to, though. I feel like this is something I should be involved with, and I want to be. I think with the right spiritual director, my issues can be overcome.

Kindly respond back when you are able. If you would like me to meet you in person at your office so we can talk, I would very much like to do that.

==========

Am I barking up the right tree here? Is a spiritual director what I need? If anyone has anything else they would like to add, please do so. Thank you.

Spiritual Direction is a wonderful gift. It can most certainly help you to work through the issues you speak of.
From my experience, a good spiritual director is not someone who will tell you what to do or think or feel, but will “mirror” back to you what you are saying in an attempt to get you to see things differently. I can honestly say, had it not been for my first “spiritual director” and his kindness, patience and guidance, I would have left the church for good.

I think that your contacting the vocations director, in light of your comments, was a very smart idea. You may also want to check with your Pastor or a priest that you know and like for more suggestions.

Peace be with you on your journey.

 

[DrFloyd]

I think what you need to find is your Faith and Trust in God…God placed you in the Catholic Church from birth-you need to see through your doctrinal issues and participate in the mass as the beautiful worship and communion with God service that it is- and not expect all your answers to be given to you before you grace the church with your presence

I did do this, for a long time. I stopped because I felt I was being hypocritical. I have issues with some of the teachings of the Church – is it logical to continue going when I simply cannot believe some of the tenets; specifically, the Eucharist, which is an essential component? I have no problem with the idea that the bread and wine becomes the actual body and blood of Christ…my problem is: how could anyone be worthy enough to receive that? I thought about going to Mass and just not receiving the Sacrament – I actually did this, for a time – but, what is the point? Why should I go if I cannot participate in the essential core part of the teachings of the Church? I feel like I need it explained to me in a way that I can accept before I can participate.

-holding out does what???Punishes the Church? Punishes God?

I don’t view it this way at all. I don’t like holding out, but as I just mentioned, if I cannot believe fully what the Church teaches, then I feel like a hypocrite for attending Mass there.

… if you are being compelled to go- GO!..take those first steps and God will be walking with you all the way…

I think my contacting the vocations director, and posting here, is a first step. This has been tooling around in my head for quite a while.

your answers will be given to you in God’s time and in God’s way

No argument here.

Prayer is the request and meditation/quieting yourself to listen- will bring the answers-have Faith and Trust in that…

I do pray daily, and I am continuing to do so. Thank you for your response, I appreciate it.

 

[DrFloyd]

Spiritual Direction is a wonderful gift. It can most certainly help you to work through the issues you speak of.

I would tend to agree.

From my experience, a good spiritual director is not someone who will tell you what to do or think or feel, but will “mirror” back to you what you are saying in an attempt to get you to see things differently.

This is exactly what I am looking for. About a year ago, I told one of my friends I was looking for a “Catholic counselor”…what you are describing sounds very much like that.

I can honestly say, had it not been for my first “spiritual director” and his kindness, patience and guidance, I would have left the church for good.

In light of my responses above, I feel like I’m teetering on the brink of that, and actually have been for a while. I don’t feel like I can leave, though. Something continues to tug me back, despite my doctrinal issues. I want to participate fully, but I need someone to show me the way.

I think that your contacting the vocations director, in light of your comments, was a very smart idea. You may also want to check with your Pastor or a priest that you know and like for more suggestions.

The problem with this is that all of the priests I know and like are about 400 miles away, and it has been over 10 years since I’ve discussed this – I am certain that the bulk of them are either retired or dead. I am not very fond of how the diocese here is (it is way too liberal for me), but I felt I had to do something; hence, why I contacted the vocations director.

Peace be with you on your journey.

Thank you, and the same to you.

 

[JCnMe]

DrFloyd…thank you for explaining further-I think you should go to mass- and actually listen to the words in preparation for the eucharist…Lord ,I am not worthy etc- your insecurities are addressed before communion in every mass as you ask for healing each time before you receive it…you can find all kinds of excuses- now there is not a Preist you agree with or is suitable enough for you close enough-???.. ultimately it’s your choice-and the only one watching is God- no need to stall or make excuses - He knows your heart-… and He’ll wait for you…

 

[DrFloyd]

DrFloyd…thank you for explaining further-I think you should go to mass- and actually listen to the words in preparation for the eucharist…Lord ,I am not worthy etc- your insecurities are addressed before communion in every mass as you ask for healing each time before you receive it

I know it’s addressed there…believe me, I have listened to EVERY word in every Mass I have attended, very closely. Despite that, I still don’t understand how I, or anyone else, is good enough to receive it. Not only that, but just being in the presence of something that sacred is overwhelming, and I’m not anyone is worthy enough to.

now there is not a Preist you agree with or is suitable enough for you close enough-???

Not now. I had some years ago when I was first interested in going into the priesthood, but I don’t have any here who I am close to. That’s why I contacted the vocations director…I am hoping to establish such a relationship with someone.

… ultimately it’s your choice-and the only one watching is God- no need to stall or make excuses - He knows your heart-… and He’ll wait for you…

I don’t think I’m making up excuses…and yes, I know. I believe very strongly that every thing does indeed happen for a reason, and if things are meant to go in that direction, they will.

 

[Cominghome89]

I recently sent this e-mail to my local diocesan vocations director:

==========

Hello Father,

Thank you for responding.

Where to begin…it would take me pages and pages to type out my story. Suffice it to say for now I am a single man, never married, no children. I teach social studies at a public high school. When I was a teenager and in college, I strongly felt like I should be a priest or in some form of religious life, and contacted my local diocese vocations office (Scranton) at that time. From my interactions with them, I felt the priesthood/religious life wasn’t for me, and I turned away. However, in the years since, it comes back periodically, and that is why I contacted you.

I feel what I need is a spiritual director, someone who I can talk frankly and honestly about issues I have with Catholic dogma. It seems like it SHOULD work, but every time I try to become involved, I find some issue which turns me away. I consequently have been shunning attending Mass, because I become so frustrated by my emotions – I like what I see and feel and I want to be involved, but I become upset about it because of my doctrinal hang-ups. Consequently, I stay away…but then I always wonder and come back to it. I pretty much have driven all of my close friends crazy over the years with talking about this.

I need someone who I can talk to about my doctrinal issues, and be able to explain them in a manner that I can accept. I don’t believe my issues are insurmountable, but it will take me a long time to be able to work through them. I want to, though. I feel like this is something I should be involved with, and I want to be. I think with the right spiritual director, my issues can be overcome.

Kindly respond back when you are able. If you would like me to meet you in person at your office so we can talk, I would very much like to do that.

==========

Am I barking up the right tree here? Is a spiritual director what I need? If anyone has anything else they would like to add, please do so. Thank you.

I sent you a private message, if you would like to talk. I too have struggled with every doctrine you can imagine. I have recently found a wonderful spiritual director, and am a newly accepted seminarian, so perhaps my experiences can be of some help to your journey. Continue to have faith in God, even with the doubts that we all experience in some form or another, and He will give you the grace to grow through them. Hopefully, I will hear from you soon.

In Christ and Our Blessed Mother,
Frank

 

[CatholicGuy22]

Yes good job on contacting your vocation director. Finding a spiritual director isnt that urgent yet. Once you in formation i think you will need one for sure but now i suggest to continue praying hard and do what your director says.

 

[spirit4life]

. . I have no problem with the idea that the bread and wine becomes the actual body and blood of Christ…*my problem is: *B]how could anyone be worthy enough to receive that?

. … . .

God made YOU!
God made the ground you stand on.
God made the air you breath.
God made the light that lets you see.
God made the food you eat, and the water you drink.
God gave you free will.
God gives us the Body and Blood of Christ, so that we may have life within us!
“Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed”
None of us are worthy, yet it is His Will that we should partake!



-S