Finding a Spiritual Director

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Lor91

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Hello!

I have a quick question about spiritual direction. I have signed up for RCIA in the fall and am on my way to becoming Catholic. I’m very excited. 🙂 Currently, I have been consulting with two very good Catholic friends of mine who have been informing me about the Faith. They have been wonderfully supportive and great guides. But, now I want to find a spiritual director to help me further. As a prospective Catholic, am I allowed a spiritual director or is that something that I could only have when I am Catholic?
 
It is my understanding, RCIA will be your spiritual direction. Since you are new to the journey, there is so much more you need to learn.

There is an excellent book about Spiritual Direction-what it is, what it isn’t, when to seek it, how to find it, and what if you can’t find it.

Navigating the Interior Life
 
Lor91 said:
As a prospective Catholic, am I allowed a spiritual director or is that something that I could only have when I am Catholic?
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Anyone is “allowed” a spiritual director. There are spiritual directors in various religious traditions.

A better question might be what you’re looking for from a spiritual director. If it’s simply a mentor, then perhaps your RCIA sponsor will be able to fill that role.

If you do want to go ahead and seek a spiritual director, I would start by praying about it and praying to find someone good. Speak with your pastor to see if he has any recommendations for you. If he doesn’t, then you might check with local monasteries, convents, or retreat houses to see if they either have someone available or know of someone. You could also try calling your diocese to see if they maintain a list of available directors.
 
asia53 said:
It is my understanding, RCIA will be your spiritual direction. Since you are new to the journey, there is so much more you need to learn.

There is an excellent book about Spiritual Direction-what it is, what it isn’t, when to seek it, how to find it, and what if you can’t find it.

Navigating the Interior Life
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Well stated and also a very good book to recommend.👍
 
God bless you in your journey!!! 🙂

At some point in RCIA you will need to find a sponsor. So you will want to choose carefully. This should really suffice as a spiritual director for purposes of your conversion. I’m not sure its “not allowed” to seek out someone other than that as a spiritual director. Additionally the Priest, Deacon and other Catechists should be able to help you along during RCIA.

Read and ask as many questions as you can! Sounds like you have some wonderful friends! 👍
 
How do you know if you should change spiritual directors or if God is working through your present spiritual director? 🙂
 
Lor91 said:
As a prospective Catholic, am I allowed a spiritual director or is that something that I could only have when I am Catholic?
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My non-Catholic husband has not (yet) expressed a clear interest in going through RCIA. Nevertheless, for the past two years he has been getting spiritual direction from a Roman Catholic priest. So yes, as a non-Catholic you are “allowed” a Catholic spiritual director.

The only possible drawback I can think of for finding an SD before starting RCIA is that once the latter does begin you’ll be getting information and guidance from two separate sources, and that could be overwhelming or even confusing. It might be better to wait for that process to begin before determining whether additional direction is necessary.

I also recommend the book mentioned by asia53, and suggest you read it before making any further decisions regarding spiritual direction.

God bless you on your journey home!
 
Hello!

Thank you for all of your responses!
The only possible drawback I can think of for finding an SD before starting RCIA is that once the latter does begin you’ll be getting information and guidance from two separate sources, and that could be overwhelming or even confusing. It might be better to wait for that process to begin before determining whether additional direction is necessary.
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I forgot that people have sponsors during RCIA. I will take that into consideration.
There is an excellent book about Spiritual Direction-what it is, what it isn’t, when to seek it, how to find it, and what if you can’t find it.
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Navigating the Interior Life
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Also, thanks for the book recommendation! I will definitely check it out!
 
UpUpAndAway said:
This is a separate question that deserves its own thread.
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I actually realized that I think I know the answer to my own question based on reading St. Faustina’s Diary since she changed spiritual directors quite a few times and I’ve done some background research on what ended up working for her. But thanks for appreciating the significance of the question! 🙂
 
The role of a spiritual director is very specific and has it’s own place in the spiritual life. It is not a place for Catechesis, warm fuzzies, etc. It must be directed towards something. Most priests I know won’t give spiritual direction to someone unless they’re discerning a religious vocation or already a priest or consecrated person. Some will offer direction to the general laity if they have rooted out their main defects and stopped all mortal sin and almost all venial sin. Mainly because they just don’t have the time, or have had one too many directees who aren’t serious in the spiritual persuit of perfection, but instead want someone to listen to them an all their problems and offer therapy, or to tickle their ear with warm fuzzies about the spiritual life.

I’m not telling this to discourage you, but rather to help you make an informed descision. There’s nothing that says you can’t have a spiritual director, but I’m really skeptical about the need for most people to have a spiritual director, yet hardly anyone goes to confession anymore. I had a roommate who was a recent convert and was told in RCIA she should have a spiritual director. So she found some woman in Montana who did “spirtual direction” via Skype for $60/session. She was being ripped off. She spent an hour ever two months talking about the people in her college classes at some Protestant school. She stopped doing it after she learned that my priest did monthly spiritual direction with me for free and that I actually got something out of it every time.
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
A better question might be what you’re looking for from a spiritual director. If it’s simply a mentor, then perhaps your RCIA sponsor will be able to fill that role.
Click to expand...
UpUpAndAway said:
This is a separate question that deserves its own thread.
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Would you consider these two questions to be related since if you find what you are looking for, and you are looking for the correct things, then you know that you should not change spiritual directors? I actually realized that I have a book by “Francis de Sales, Jane de Chantal” called “Letters of Spiritual Direction” so I think I will read this book, in addition to a biography of Jane de Chantal (since they are both saints and he is a doctor of the church) to get some insight on what his purpose in her life was. The first pages of the book suggest spiritual friendship.
Deo_Gratias42 said:
The role of a spiritual director is very specific and has it’s own place in the spiritual life. It is not a place for Catechesis, warm fuzzies, etc. It must be directed towards something. Most priests I know won’t give spiritual direction to someone unless they’re discerning a religious vocation or already a priest or consecrated person. Some will offer direction to the general laity if they have rooted out their main defects and stopped all mortal sin and almost all venial sin. Mainly because they just don’t have the time, or have had one too many directees who aren’t serious in the spiritual persuit of perfection, but instead want someone to listen to them an all their problems and offer therapy, or to tickle their ear with warm fuzzies about the spiritual life.

I’m not telling this to discourage you, but rather to help you make an informed descision. There’s nothing that says you can’t have a spiritual director, but I’m really skeptical about the need for most people to have a spiritual director, yet hardly anyone goes to confession anymore.
Click to expand...
The local monasteries have spiritual directors available. However, I know of a Benedictine monk with an MA in theology who initially agreed to be one lay woman’s spiritual director. However, her mother asked her to pick her brother up from the airport and she wanted to reschedule the appointment with the spiritual director, the monk dropped her as a directee. Finding a spiritual director who truly understands where God is trying to lead you is hard. St. Faustina struggled with this very often. She eventually ended up with two priest professors as her spiritual directors, Blessed Rev. Michał Sopoćko and Father Joseph Andrasz, S.J. faustyna.pl/en/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=280&Itemid=61
] en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Sopocko But, if the purpose is to root out venial sin, then perhaps one’s confessor would be the best fit for a lay person.
 
Deo_Gratias42 said:
The role of a spiritual director is very specific and has it’s own place in the spiritual life. It is not a place for Catechesis, warm fuzzies, etc. It must be directed towards something. Most priests I know won’t give spiritual direction to someone unless they’re discerning a religious vocation or already a priest or consecrated person. Some will offer direction to the general laity if they have rooted out their main defects and stopped all mortal sin and almost all venial sin. Mainly because they just don’t have the time, or have had one too many directees who aren’t serious in the spiritual persuit of perfection, but instead want someone to listen to them an all their problems and offer therapy, or to tickle their ear with warm fuzzies about the spiritual life.

I’m not telling this to discourage you, but rather to help you make an informed descision. There’s nothing that says you can’t have a spiritual director, but I’m really skeptical about the need for most people to have a spiritual director, yet hardly anyone goes to confession anymore. I had a roommate who was a recent convert and was told in RCIA she should have a spiritual director. So she found some woman in Montana who did “spirtual direction” via Skype for $60/session. She was being ripped off. She spent an hour ever two months talking about the people in her college classes at some Protestant school. She stopped doing it after she learned that my priest did monthly spiritual direction with me for free and that I actually got something out of it every time.
Click to expand...
The local monasteries have spiritual directors available. However, I know of a Benedictine monk with an MA in theology who initially agreed to be one lay woman’s spiritual director. However, her mother asked her to pick her brother up from the airport and she wanted to reschedule the appointment with the spiritual director, the monk dropped her as a directee. Finding a spiritual director who truly understands where God is trying to lead you is hard. St. Faustina struggled with this very often. She eventually ended up with two priest professors as her spiritual directors, Blessed Rev. Michał Sopoćko and Father Joseph Andrasz, S.J.

faustyna.pl/en/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=280&Itemid=61
]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Sopocko
 
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