Finding fullfillment in God

[ubcgirl]

I tried to find a similar thread to this - but couldn’t find one, so here we go…

I feel like I’m doing as much as I can to dedicate my life to God - I go to church as often as I can (at least weekly), try to attend daily Mass when I can, pray daily (at least morning and night, saying a few different novenas, sometimes the rosary, and my own ‘regular’ prayer), often visit my church’s Adoration Chapel, watch/read Catholic books/movies (I just ordered 8 off of Amazon and am starting with St. Therese’s autobiography). I’ve greatly distanced myself from people who do not motivate my spiritually and help me grow in faith with God, and also from tv shows/music that are ‘dark’.

I’m on a Catholic dating site - at the very least I’ll make new friends all over the world who I can discuss my faith with, and come here and read threads as often as I can.

Because of my nursing schedule, I can’t get more involved in my church right now, though I’d really love to. It seems my church has many weekly opportunities, and my schedule changes weekly so I can’t commit to anything like that.

But I still feel an emptiness sometimes - I don’t miss my ‘old life’ - which was still just as boring, but with a lot less dedication to God and the church. Its almost like a depression and loneliness and longing - I pray and pray and pray, and often feel fulfilled after visiting the Adoration Chapel. I pray for the Holy Spirit, to my guardian angel, to several saints, and of course to God/Jesus. What am I missing? I thought life to God should fulfill me - but I still feel like there’s something missing. I know I want a husband and family, but I’ve accepted that it is God’s will whether that should happen or not, so I do my best to let it go and see what happens. I know that having a husband/family will not fulfill me, because God should, right? And if I don’t feel fulfilled before having a husband/family, I guess I’m at a loss… and not sure what more I can do.

I feel happy with where I am in life, and feel blessed to have chosen a great career, and have plenty of friends and family who love me.

Any thoughts/suggestions?

 

[JRKH]

I know that you have read a number of books already - but if I could suggest just one more…See my signature. It addresses a lot of this.

Let me ask one question here…What do you do for “Fun” - I mean, get out - be with people - laugh out loud fun and come home bone tired…Fun…

Peace
James

 

[ubcgirl]

Haha - I am usually an introvert, so when I hang out with friends, I am tired - but for all the wrong reasons. I travel - lately I’ve been traveling to other cities to visit with family/friends. My closest friends and I go for dinner/coffee/walks as often as we can (we’re all nurses, so its hard!). I enjoy nursing - I love the other staff and even the patients. So I’m feeling quite fulfilled in terms of my social life and enjoying my relationships with other people. I’m content with my relationship with my family, and come from a gigantic family (47 first cousins on both sides, plus all their kids, who are just starting to graduate from highschool and more on the way!) So thats what I can’t really figure out - what’s missing? (Other than the husband thing, but thats up to God to decide whether thats really missing or not). I try to use my Catholic beliefs of service as a nurse, and always develop relationships with my patients, always going the extra step to make sure they’re comfortable. Over the winter I volunteered at a homeless shelter that took in those that none of the shelters would take anymore. My great love is reading and spending time outdoors/exercise - I hike a lot, and usually find someone to drag with me. So… yeah! I feel like I’m covering all my bases, and that I have pretty well rounded life!

 

[Waiting]

I tried to find a similar thread to this - but couldn’t find one, so here we go…

I feel like I’m doing as much as I can to dedicate my life to God - I go to church as often as I can (at least weekly), try to attend daily Mass when I can, pray daily (at least morning and night, saying a few different novenas, sometimes the rosary, and my own ‘regular’ prayer), often visit my church’s Adoration Chapel, watch/read Catholic books/movies (I just ordered 8 off of Amazon and am starting with St. Therese’s autobiography). I’ve greatly distanced myself from people who do not motivate my spiritually and help me grow in faith with God, and also from tv shows/music that are ‘dark’.

I’m on a Catholic dating site - at the very least I’ll make new friends all over the world who I can discuss my faith with, and come here and read threads as often as I can.

Because of my nursing schedule, I can’t get more involved in my church right now, though I’d really love to. It seems my church has many weekly opportunities, and my schedule changes weekly so I can’t commit to anything like that.

But I still feel an emptiness sometimes - I don’t miss my ‘old life’ - which was still just as boring, but with a lot less dedication to God and the church. Its almost like a depression and loneliness and longing - I pray and pray and pray, and often feel fulfilled after visiting the Adoration Chapel. I pray for the Holy Spirit, to my guardian angel, to several saints, and of course to God/Jesus. What am I missing? I thought life to God should fulfill me - but I still feel like there’s something missing. I know I want a husband and family, but I’ve accepted that it is God’s will whether that should happen or not, so I do my best to let it go and see what happens. I know that having a husband/family will not fulfill me, because God should, right? And if I don’t feel fulfilled before having a husband/family, I guess I’m at a loss… and not sure what more I can do.

I feel happy with where I am in life, and feel blessed to have chosen a great career, and have plenty of friends and family who love me.

Any thoughts/suggestions?

Sounds like you’re doing all the right things. Maybe patience is all that you need right now. God has something or someone in mind for you, but the timing isn’t set for now. I don’t know your age, but unless you feel the biological clock running low, I’d let time and circumstances take care of the inevitable. Enjoy life as it is. It sounds pretty fulfilling at present. God bless.

 

[ubcgirl]

Thank you! I turn 30 in a couple of weeks. I don’t mind growing old, nor do I feel like my biological clock is ticking. One of my friends asked me why I felt the need to settle down - although she just got married in the fall. It always seems so much easier for people who are already married to tell me to be patient!

 

[littlenothing]

I hope someone does have a really good answer to your question. Trouble is, I am not entirely sure there is one. This life is truly a vale of tears, a sojourn, and no place to rest one’s head.

If you are called to the married life, there will be some fulfillment there, but also pain and challenge. Having friends and family is similar, bringing both some fulfillment and some grief.

We will always have a hole in our hearts that only love can fill. We feel the emptiness when God has something to fill it with, though. Whether the love we lack is human or divine or both, we feel the lack so keenly it is painful, and no amount of having fun can quite fill it up.

I don’t mean to be such a downer. I just want you to know that you are not doing anything wrong, and in fact are probably doing things very right. How can people with little capacity to love feel so empty? You feel the lack of fulfillment according to your capacity for fulfillment.

St Therese, I think, is a really good start.

 

[ubcgirl]

I hope someone does have a really good answer to your question. Trouble is, I am not entirely sure there is one. This life is truly a vale of tears, a sojourn, and no place to rest one’s head.

If you are called to the married life, there will be some fulfillment there, but also pain and challenge. Having friends and family is similar, bringing both some fulfillment and some grief.

We will always have a hole in our hearts that only love can fill. We feel the emptiness when God has something to fill it with, though. Whether the love we lack is human or divine or both, we feel the lack so keenly it is painful, and no amount of having fun can quite fill it up.

I don’t mean to be such a downer. I just want you to know that you are not doing anything wrong, and in fact are probably doing things very right. How can people with little capacity to love feel so empty? You feel the lack of fulfillment according to your capacity for fulfillment.

St Therese, I think, is a really good start.

Thats an amazing answer - thank you!

I didn’t think having ‘fun’ would be the answer - after all, many of those called to the religious life don’t spend their time going out for beers with friends (as far as I know!). I just didn’t know if there is anything more I should be doing. I plan on speaking to my priest about this if it continues - he seems like he’s very content with the simple life he leads, and is closer to my age than most of the other priests in the area - but I guess I wanted to ask others first.

 

[TiggerS]

You feel the lack of fulfillment according to your capacity for fulfillment.

St Therese, I think, is a really good start.

Good comment. And St Therese is indeed a good start!

Fulfillment is a Gift of God and a consolation in the spiritual life - and until then, one can really feel quite deeply the comments of St Augustine “Our hearts are restless, Lord, until they rest in Thee”.
I have lately reflected on the words of Jesus to Thomas “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe” - and it follows that blessed indeed are those who do not receive any sort of consolations and yet persevere.

Do you have a spiritual director, ubcgirl?

 

[ubcgirl]

Do you have a spiritual director, ubcgirl?

No, I don’t - not yet anyways. I’m not really sure how it works - I’ve had a couple of ladies encourage me to go to a particular priest, but I’m not really sure what to say.

 

[TiggerS]

No, I don’t - not yet anyways. I’m not really sure how it works - I’ve had a couple of ladies encourage me to go to a particular priest, but I’m not really sure what to say.

As far as what to say, I think your opening post to this thread would be an excellent starting point.
A spiritual director gets to know the interior life of the person directed and helps them to understand the way that God is leading them and how to proceed along that way. Hence the more the person shares with the director about their interior life, the better the director is able to direct. And our interior or spiritual life underpins the whole of our life : family, relationships, work, relaxation and entertainment, worship etc. etc. the whole of life. There is no avenue of life in which The Lord and our relationship to Him is absent.

Besides the priest that has been suggested and your own parish priest, you could ring your diocesan offices and ask them how to go about locating a spiritual director. Very often they can help and pass on contact points. Another avenue is to contact religious orders of priests and brothers, or nuns, and ask them if they undertake spiritual direction or can give you contact points that may be helpful in the quest to find a director.

 

[Waiting]

Thank you! I turn 30 in a couple of weeks. I don’t mind growing old, nor do I feel like my biological clock is ticking. One of my friends asked me why I felt the need to settle down - although she just got married in the fall. It always seems so much easier for people who are already married to tell me to be patient!

Why don’t you try a retreat with a religious order? You might find that fulfillment you’re seeking where you haven’t looked yet. If not, at least you will have spent worthwhile time with the Lord, with an opportunity to have the quitet and the time you need to think about things in greater depth. Good luck and God bless.