Finding meaning

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BookGirlNJ

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I’m sure many of us feel this way but I’m curious to hear some thoughts/advice/experiences: (sorry this is long) I work for a large corporation in a stereotypical office job: computers, meetings, projects, etc. It’s an excellent company, very good pay and benefits, pleasant and comfortable work environment, friendly co-workers. I AM NOT IN ANY SENSE COMPLAINING–I know this job is a huge blessing, and I am grateful. The problem is that I get NO personal, emotional, spiritual satisfaction whatsoever from it. I spend 40 hours/week here, plus another 15 hours/week commuting. At the end of the day, I feel nothing but bored and tired. Yes, I have pride in doing my job well, and every two weeks I get a nice deposit into my bank account; otherwise–no satisfaction.

Several years ago I started a small business, something I had wanted to do my whole life. I had been laid off and used my severance to start it. My husband and I discussed it beforehand and he was supportive and encouraging. I was ECSTATIC. I recall leaving the shop every day and literally saying out loud “Thank you God, I love my life.” Then, due to a number of circumstances I won’t go into here for lack of space (another thread, LOL), I had to close the store and return to a “real” job.

How and why would God put such a passion and joy onto my heart but then not give me the wherewithall to succeed at it? I am happy to work, it’s not like I expect it all to just drop into my life and no effort on my part. And I pursued it with ethics and kindness, and tried to include as much generosity and good works into it as possible, i.e., it wasn’t about making money, in fact, it was a labor of love. But still after two years, I was back to office work and feeling miserable.

So I ask you–how do you balance the desire for personal and spiritual satisfaction with the mundane chore of work? How do you find meaning in the meaningless? Please don’t say change careers or go back to school to pursue a change–I am 55, it’s rather late in life for that.

Thanks for listening and sharing your thoughts if you have any.
Cindi
 
There are two ways to find meaning; work that has inherent meaning, or using work to invest in opportunities that have meaning.

Since your work has no particular meaning for you, what are you using your salary for?
  • Are you and husband saving for retirement?
  • Traveling?
  • Financing a home?
  • Paying off debt?
  • Putting your kids through college?
  • Supporting hobbies or activities?
Prioritize which activities give you and your husband (don’t leave him holding the bag!) meaning, and use your work to pursue them.
 
I don’t know how much advice I can offer, as I am in a really different place in life right now than you, but would it be at all possible for you to find part-time work in your field closer to home? If that is an option it would give you more time to spend doing something you find meaningful and fulfilling, maybe volunteering for a cause you are particularly interested.

If nothing like that is an option my only suggestion would be to work harder both on putting God at the center of your life (and I am not at all implying that He isn’t there now, but its always something we can do better at) and especially to do so remembering the little way of St. Therese. To turn every little thing we do, no matter how meaningless it may seem, into an an offering to God. To work on doing all the small, insignificant, meaningless things we do as well as we can as a way of using our talents for God’s glory. If you haven’t read the Story of a Soul I highly recommend you do. It is a fantastic book.

I hope you can find a way to help balance your life and find more meaning and satisfaction in it. God Bless!
 
I know what you mean, BookGirlNJ. I too have a job that is as stable as job can be expected to be; decent income; nice people at the company.

But there something about going to that office every day that is soul-crushing. It is difficult to articulate. I have spent some time trying to start my own business on the side, but the “work-outside-of-work” effort has had an adverse effect on my health. I shudder to think about spending more years in this environment.

And yet, as you said, many have it far worse. I don’t have a good answer. I do have activities outside of work that are important to me; friends and family and such. But the sterile large company office environment is really painful to me.
 
What a blessing to receive such warm and inspiring responses!

Runningdude: I use my salary for mortgage, bills, food :), paying off the kids’ college parents’ loans… the usual. We have struggled for several years and thanks to this new job, after unemployment and that short stint in my business, we are starting to recover. We are unable to save towards retirement at this point, other than 401(k)s.

Finding satisfaction in ‘extracurricular’ hobbies and such is hard. I used to enjoy many things but have been quite down lately and unable to focus. Going to RCIA and being confirmed in the Catholic church recently has helped with that but still struggling.

TheWanderer and Groo: Working part-time elsewhere, more interesting and fulfilling, would be tough. I have a very long commute and am pretty beat by the time I reach home. Once I hit the the couch I’m a goner, LOL.

Groo, your use of the term ‘soul crushing,’ oh that resonated! Very apt.

Monicad: Your advice is extremely inspiring. Perhaps that is, at least in part, what I need to do. Focus on God, gratefulness, prayer… and try to let the boredom and tedium roll off my back. Sometimes when I am grumbling my husband will say “Jesus had it worse!” and he is so right.

Thank you all for your comments, and I hope others may chime in and share their thoughts. A discussion like this is so helpful in this rat-race world we live in.
 
Since you loved your business so much, I would look at this job as meaning to do what you want. Sit down and discuss with your husband that you really loved owning your own business and would like to do so again in the future. Put your budget down on paper to see where all your money is going. You would be surprised how those little extra things add up.

Then right there in that budget, put a set amount away for your future business. You should count on at least a year without making any profit. Then sit down a look at your old business plan and try to figure out what went wrong, so it won’t happen again. Also check with the Small Business Association, they have mentors for free. Then on your commute formulate ideas for your business, to make time pass faster. Anything is possible if your desire is greater then the obstacle.
 
I think if you have a passion for something you should try to pursue it in some respect. The office job you have is great and some people would give their right arm to have a job like that, so I wouldn’t be throwing it in without something definite to go to. However, as you enjoyed your own business so much, would it be possible to do some of that sort of work on a lower scale - ie. as a hobby initially and then maybe as a hobby - business - maybe online business instead of completely set up. Maybe think of branches of the field your business was in, and pursue some of those that do not involve such a high commitment and risk.
It might be easier to suggest if we knew what your business was.
 
Joy2day said:
I think if you have a passion for something you should try to pursue it in some respect. The office job you have is great and some people would give their right arm to have a job like that, so I wouldn’t be throwing it in without something definite to go to. However, as you enjoyed your own business so much, would it be possible to do some of that sort of work on a lower scale - ie. as a hobby initially and then maybe as a hobby - business - maybe online business instead of completely set up. Maybe think of branches of the field your business was in, and pursue some of those that do not involve such a high commitment and risk.
It might be easier to suggest if we knew what your business was.
Click to expand...
I don’t want to speak for the OP, but for me the challenge with moonlighting is that it takes a lot of time to get a successful business going. I have tried this, and found that:

  1. *]The extra work takes time away from family
    *]I am emotionally and physically exhausted from the day job
    *]If I try to burn the candle at both ends, I get physically sick

    Perhaps I am just making excuses though. I appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut.
 
Groo said:
I don’t want to speak for the OP, but for me the challenge with moonlighting is that it takes a lot of time to get a successful business going. I have tried this, and found that:

  1. *]The extra work takes time away from family
    *]I am emotionally and physically exhausted from the day job
    *]If I try to burn the candle at both ends, I get physically sick

    Perhaps I am just making excuses though. I appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut.
Click to expand...

  1. I agree, Groo. My business was a secondhand bookstore, and when I first closed I planned to continue selling online and by appointment. I had informed my customers they could continue contacting me to do book searches and ordering for them. But it got to be too much. By the time I got home from work & commute, it was at least 6:30, then dinner with hubby… by that time, ugh, as much as I am book fanatic and all, I had no interest in working on it. Book searching, particularly for very old or obscure titles, is quite time consuming; I love the challenge, but once I’m on the couch in my PJs, not so much. So it fell by the wayside.

    I keep trying to have faith that God had/has something else in His plan for me. Maybe another bookstore, maybe not. I have to believe that He put this passion in my heart for a reason and it will come to fruition in its own time. However, at this stage of life, C’MON GOD, I AIN’T GETTING ANY YOUNGER! :o
 
Monicad, I love your advice here. I am new to the Christian walk, and still learning and trying to embrace all that I “should” be doing - your suggestions seem like a great “next task” to work on - the kind of task that’s not such a task at all, but a reward in and of itself. ^-^
 
BookGirlNJ said:
I’m sure many of us feel this way but I’m curious to hear some thoughts/advice/experiences: (sorry this is long) I work for a large corporation in a stereotypical office job: computers, meetings, projects, etc. It’s an excellent company, very good pay and benefits, pleasant and comfortable work environment, friendly co-workers. I AM NOT IN ANY SENSE COMPLAINING–I know this job is a huge blessing, and I am grateful. The problem is that I get NO personal, emotional, spiritual satisfaction whatsoever from it. I spend 40 hours/week here, plus another 15 hours/week commuting. At the end of the day, I feel nothing but bored and tired. Yes, I have pride in doing my job well, and every two weeks I get a nice deposit into my bank account; otherwise–no satisfaction.

Several years ago I started a small business, something I had wanted to do my whole life. I had been laid off and used my severance to start it. My husband and I discussed it beforehand and he was supportive and encouraging. I was ECSTATIC. I recall leaving the shop every day and literally saying out loud “Thank you God, I love my life.” Then, due to a number of circumstances I won’t go into here for lack of space (another thread, LOL), I had to close the store and return to a “real” job.

How and why would God put such a passion and joy onto my heart but then not give me the wherewithall to succeed at it? I am happy to work, it’s not like I expect it all to just drop into my life and no effort on my part. And I pursued it with ethics and kindness, and tried to include as much generosity and good works into it as possible, i.e., it wasn’t about making money, in fact, it was a labor of love. But still after two years, I was back to office work and feeling miserable.

So I ask you–how do you balance the desire for personal and spiritual satisfaction with the mundane chore of work? How do you find meaning in the meaningless? Please don’t say change careers or go back to school to pursue a change–I am 55, it’s rather late in life for that.

Thanks for listening and sharing your thoughts if you have any.
Cindi
Click to expand...
I suffered for 26 years for something I did, I rocked the boat, I was a whistle blower. I saw so many things that were wrong and I wanted to correct them, to clean my yard and live in it. In the process I was eight-balled told that I would never get a promotion. I qualified but never did. I accepted the job because it was the only one I could find that I could support my family of five. I learned that when I rocked the boat I became judgmental of my fellow workers. I assumed that because I believed in my Faith as a christian that every one else should be like me, I took my faith for granted. My fellow workers could not give what they didn’t have, a strong belief in God. Knowing my faith I knew that Satan had a lot to do with the corruption that I witnessed. I learned if they didn’t have Christ they were handicapped spiritually, and I demanded what they couldn’t give. I was unjust to them, instead of compassionating their position in life, I condemned them for their corruption, I became very judgmental. So I became resigned to accept my fate, I never made much money but God supplied all my needs, I raised my family, and living in retirement with a wonderful wife whose nick-name is Happy. Why am I telling you this: because all those years I spent knowing that I was stuck didn’t sit well with me, but I saw God’s will in all of this, I had to learn to trust Him to take care of me and my family, I learned resignation to His will, to find peace, it never was real easy, but I made it. Life is not about making money, life is about finding God and living with a deep loving relationship with Him. This is accomplished by living our lives of Faith, Hope,and Love. Life will place us in the position where we will have to exercise these virtues. The fact your are not getting any younger is reason enough that your priorities may need to be spirituallized more and God is putting you in that position. Pray that you do well. Peace.
 
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