Finding orthodox, practicing Catholic friends in real life

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redbetta

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I am 17 and it feels as if I am the only one in my Catholic school that actually wants to learn about the Faith. And that got me wondering, how many on here actually know other orthodox, devout Catholics in real life, because I cannot find any. All that the youth group at my parish does is service and I am worried that if I actually try to talk to them about religious subject matter, I might be in for a nasty surprise. That is what I fear from talking to anyone in my parish.

It is not like I am against having non-Catholic friends, but I need at least one. My parents are not serious Catholics and I have been trying to teach myself with whatever bits and pieces I can get from the library without an exact plan in mind or a guide because my religion teachers are of no help. And I feel as if I have nobody to be completely honest with and it has been giving me a lot of mental anguish. It even keeps me from getting sleep at night sometimes. Catholicism extends to so many aspects of one’s worldview and, I am afraid of talking to anyone including my parents about my deepest thoughts lest someone sees the Catholic tinge in them. I mean, who wants to live their entire lives talking only about the weather with others?

I know people are going to suggest CAF, but I absolutely hate the Internet and I need someone to talk to face to face instead of text on a screen. This place has been a great comfort to me, but it is not the same.

Okay, so I know there are other people my age that experience the same thing, but it seems as if they are too few and too far apart which is torturous to each individual. If anybody here has met another Catholics in real life, where and how? And not just church, because most events at my Church are full of old people who I cannot connect with. Where else has anyone had the fortune of meeting someone else of the same Faith? And, what are some good indicators that somebody might be Catholic. Crucifixes or rosaries on rear view mirrors would not work for me because so many people in my area are culturally Catholic and these things are quite common.

Is there any sign that someone might be Catholic that only a serious Catholic might wear? if not, there ought to be a code of some sorts with a sign that only other Catholics would be able to recognize. Something hidden in plain sight, to help those who are scared to be open with it or to aid those inquiring into the Catholic Faith in secret.

Thanks and I hope I was articulate enough.
 
College will be a better place to look–there will be a larger pool of people and campus interest clubs, not to mention the Newman Center.

Good luck!
 
I totally relate and Iam 41. So either you are an old soul or I am young at heart. I pray you find somone to share your faith with.
 
I think the only way to know for certain is by talking to the other person. The externals will not always reveal what is in their heart.

I can tell you that it is of course possible to find orthodox, practicing Catholics, but it might not happen in ways you would plan or expect. Thirty years ago, I was thrown together with a coworker who was not particularly fervent when we met. Over the course of the years working together, he became very strong in his faith, and now he is my best friend.
 
I know just what you’re saying! When I was in highschool, I was so discouraged. I would have “Catholic” friends, but they were those who communed every Sunday and only went to confession once per year, if ever. Many Churches that want to attract the young, hip kids have thrown tradition and real Catholicism out the window, and are too afraid to talk about the nitty gritty theology - the stuff kids like you and I want to talk about!

It will change if you go to college. Try to find a school with a good, orthodox Newman center - you’re bound to find others who do a lot of things you’re into!!! Now, I do Bible study, adoration, mass, and so many other things with like minded people at school!

Also, you may want to see if you can find a parish that does the Latin Mass, the mass in the Extraordinary form. Usually, the only ones who attend these Churches are those who are pious, serious, and want to immerse themselves in real Roman Catholicism. These are the Churches that are bringing in a lot of young people, so you’re bound to find people your age (the liberal Catholic churches have had their day, and sadly (or not) are mostly filled with aged hippies and the like.)
redbetta said:
Crucifixes or rosaries on rear view mirrors would not work for me because so many people in my area are culturally Catholic and these things are quite common.
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Scapulars. If you see the little wool squares poking out of shirts, you know that the wearer is a serious Catholic. They’re uncomfortable, unsightly, and often smelly if one wears it long enough without washing it! 😉
 
Get into the Community service opportunities that your youth group offers and be the hands and feet of Christ to those less fortunate.
I believe that was the point of many of the Gospels, eh?
You can always get more book-learning about the faith. Do it! What’s stopping you?
Building our personal spirituality is just that. Personal. In the meantime, LIVE your faith.
You’ll be amazed at how you connect with Christ.

You can’t possible know what is going on in the hearts of the other kids. They may be quite in tune with their faith, but afraid to voice it. Comes with being a teen.
Give your friends a break.

Peace.
 
They are certainly out there. Lay organizations like Juventutem, Opus Dei, Regnum Christi, Communion and Liberation, NeoCatechumenal Way, are all good resources. College parishes tend to be full of young people, at least some of whom are very serious. My experience is that urban parishes tend to have more serious young people compared to suburban parishes, mostly because of demography. Cathedrals are great, I’ve found.

Finally, your job is to make disciples. Don’t write your youth group off so easily. Many teens deeply desire God but they don’t know how to do it and the’re afraid of being a loner. Be there for them. Walk with them and help our Lord widen their apostolic horizons. Never be afraid of sharing the Gospel and challenging your youth group to go deeper.
 
I like the ideas suggested so far, but here’s one I haven’t seen yet:

One fun thing popping up in a few of the mid-to-larger cities are “Mass mobs” - groups of mostly young people that agree to all attend Mass together. Ours meets once a month, and as soon as they offer one that doesn’t conflict with naptime, I’m in. 😛 They check with the pastor beforehand (or are invited), and often there will be something social afterwards, or a tour or something like that. Ours is coordinated via Meetup.com, which might also just have lay-run groups for Catholics (I’m also in a moms group there, but there’s also a group for singles.)

There are opportunities out there, but it takes a bit of stretching and risk-taking to go for it.
 
pensmama87 said:
I like the ideas suggested so far, but here’s one I haven’t seen yet:

One fun thing popping up in a few of the mid-to-larger cities are “Mass mobs” - groups of mostly young people that agree to all attend Mass together. Ours meets once a month, and as soon as they offer one that doesn’t conflict with naptime, I’m in. 😛 They check with the pastor beforehand (or are invited), and often there will be something social afterwards, or a tour or something like that. Ours is coordinated via Meetup.com, which might also just have lay-run groups for Catholics (I’m also in a moms group there, but there’s also a group for singles.)

There are opportunities out there, but it takes a bit of stretching and risk-taking to go for it.
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That’s adorable!
 
Check out the local FSSP parish if there is one.

Also, as has been suggested, find a local Newman Center at a local college and attend their masses or activities.
 
When I had this problem, I asked God, and God sent some good Catholic friends. So that is the first route.

You might also look around for the more orthodox parishes that are remotely close to you, and find out what kind of youth gatherings they have. This is an example from Portland, Oregon. The church is about a 5 minute walk from a commuter train stop:

Holy Rosary also sets aside a special hour for Youth Adoration. Parish young people gather in the Church for an hour of prayer and silent adoration, followed by refreshments and a lively social hour in Siena Hall. Watch the bulletin and website for upcoming 2013-14 Youth Adoration dates and times.
holyrosarypdx.org/church/adoration

That is a variation on the old saying: “Never marry for riches. Hang around rich people and marry for love.” Seek the Pearl of Great Price, and see who you meet. Seek ye first, you know…

The Lord sent them out in twos, so one or two is all that is necessary. More is great, but the main thing in friends is quality.
 
By the way, my options are limited to were I can go on a bicycle. I have a driver’s license, but I am so absent-minded when driving that I am too afraid to drive alone. So I am basically stuck with my parish. Thanks for the suggestions. And everyone always says that college gets better, but I need to alleviate my suffering now so I do not have a mental breakdown my last year in high school.
 
I also struggle in finding a guy my age whose devoutly Catholic to be friends with. (I’ve found plenty of girls, but I can never seem to make guy friends as easily as I can with girls.) I’d say try your parish some more. You’re just assuming that they aren’t going to be as devout as you are, for whatever reason (and those could be very good reasons) but go try it anyways. Service is good, and is a great way to get to meet people who share a passion for the faith. Even if you don’t find anyone up to your level that you’re at right now, you could help build up the fire for them in the faith.

This summer I went to a Steubenville Conference with some kids from my parish and another parish in a nearby town. For half of the trip I was bunking with this one guy from the other parish, and I didn’t know it at the time, but he recently was having a falling out from the faith due to his diagnosis with cancer, and after the conference (which was a great faith building event for all of us. If you have the chance, definitely go to a conference, even if you have some iffy-ness with less trad-cat styles of worship like I do) He told me that I had been an inspiration to him to get back into the faith because of my devotions to LotH and the brown scapular (he actually started wearing his again when he got home)

So yeah, the faith spreads like a wild fire. Devout people hanging out with potentially less devout people can help make them more devout.

Same thing with your parents. I know mine are kinda lukewarm, and if it wasn’t for me, nobody in my family would be going to Mass anymore. Just simply being passionate about the faith and making yourself vulnerable enough to share your deeper thoughts (which rightly should be formed by the faith) will help your parents realize that you take this serious, and maybe that they should too. I know that me just running cross country inspired my dad to start running too. (Now all I need to do is inspire him to get back into The Church)

So don’t be afraid to show them how you feel or what you think. If your faith shows in those thoughts, good. Remember, nobody “lights a lamp and puts it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.”

I also agree with you that friends you can meet in real life are better than those on the internet.

Also, If you’re wanting to do more with your youth group, tell your youth minister about it. Schedule a meeting with him, and give him your ideas (he can also help you with learning about the faith by at least giving some good book advice. I suggest reading up on the catechism and of course, the bible. Scott Hahn and Mark Hart, along with the writings of the saints, are also some of my favorites.) You could try suggesting have your youth minister throw in some formation/catechism nights too. The youth group at my parish meets weekly, 4 times a month, two of them being catechetical nights all revolving around one subject for the school year (last year’s was ToB, and this year is social justice.) One week is a night addressing an issue teens face in their daily lives, and then one night being a fun game night.

As for places to meet Catholic teens, I don’t really know what to tell you. You could try your local adoration chapel (although I feel like you would be there for the wrong reason) daily Mass, local Catholic Charities, youth conferences, etc. As for a special sign that someone’s devoutly Catholic, I don’t know. Scapulars aren’t very mainstream, so that’s good. Also, if they’re reading something about the faith, then that would also be a good sign. Otherwise, they would have the things that culturally Catholic people would have: rosaries, saint medals, crosses, etc. I should note however, that judging people by their clothing isn’t a very Christian thing to do.

In the end, you’re just gonna have to get to know them. Pray about it, and don’t be afraid to talk about the faith. I know that in my advisory, me and one of my non-Catholic buddies would talk about a variety of things, including of a religious nature, and they were good discussions, and I feel like we’re better friends now that we’ve established that we can talk about stuff like that and still be friends. (Although I would still like to have a good friendship with a guy whose Catholic as well as being friends with him.)
 
it is hard, I felt the same way at youru age, still do sometimes

but maybe it’s up to you to take the first step, maybe the other kids are feeling the same way but don’t know what to do?

get involved in your parish, even if there is an age difference. I used to feel the same way about that until I realized that age really doesn’t matter in God’s house. I found companions now in all the sweet devout little old ladies

and I agree, university or college will be better
 
redbetta said:
Is there any sign that someone might be Catholic that only a serious Catholic might wear? if not, there ought to be a code of some sorts with a sign that only other Catholics would be able to recognize. Something hidden in plain sight, to help those who are scared to be open with it or to aid those inquiring into the Catholic Faith in secret.

Thanks and I hope I was articulate enough.
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First I am so happy that you are taking this seriously; I feel like I should interview you because most of the youth here don’t really relate to Church or God for that matter. I have met a handful in my community who do that are your age. I have been a catechist for the last 14 years or so. Not many students come back to the Church. In my church, perhaps 3% or less come regularly.

I am 43 and I am still searching for devout Catholics. I have finally found a community that seriously follow the teachings; though most are much older than myself. There is not a secret code or such to find a devout Catholic. However, I have found, through the intercession of the HS, a protestant(evangelical) group that are on fire for God (Jesus). I also found a Catholic Charismatic group that is on fire for God (Jesus). I pray with all of them. I learn from all of them and I am being a witness to all of them. Whatever the Spirit tells you or wherever it leads you, you should learn to trust it. I am being made strong through my brothers and sisters, though we may differ in denomination or practices, we love Jesus first and foremost.

The Lord will guide you and use you as a guiding light to others; never lose hope.

God Bless
 
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Is there any sign that someone might be Catholic that only a serious Catholic might wear? if not, there ought to be a code of some sorts with a sign that only other Catholics would be able to recognize. Something hidden in plain sight, to help those who are scared to be open with it or to aid those inquiring into the Catholic Faith in secret.
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What an absolutely fascinating question.

In this era in the States, Catholics aren’t hiding. We do tend to keep low key because we don’t want to look like pharisees, though.

Rosaries on a car mirror? Not a God indicator. Rosary or rosary ring in the hand? Yes.

Green scapulars or holy cards in wallets.

Pardon crucifixes and pocket cards that read, “I an a Catholic. In case of emergency, please call a priest.”

Bowing heads at the mention of the Trinity or the name of Jesus.

Crucifix or miraculous medal rings.

A scapular that peeks out from the collar.

Sign of the Cross before meals.

Sacrifice beads in pocket or purse.

Crossing oneself when passing a church, cemetery, funeral procession, hospital, ambulance, fire truck, or collision.

Holy water in the glove box.

Hmmm…keep your eye open for other sacramentals. They’re not uncommon.
 
It’s difficult but possible. I suggest you look at the following examples.

stpatrickscottsdale.org/theEDGEv2/index.php

arlingtondiocese.org/youth/index.aspx

svfchurch.org/Church/Social-Groups/Youth-Group

Contact your Diocese office and ask them about youth ministries. Active youth ministries where people work together and do things together.

By the time young people get to college, that’s where things get really challenging. Church attendance drops off. But there’s a ministry for that also:

ccmanet.org/

God bless,
Ed
 
redbetta said:
I am 17 and it feels as if I am the only one in my Catholic school that actually wants to learn about the Faith. And that got me wondering, how many on here actually know other orthodox, devout Catholics in real life, because I cannot find any. All that the youth group at my parish does is service and I am worried that if I actually try to talk to them about religious subject matter, I might be in for a nasty surprise. That is what I fear from talking to anyone in my parish.

It is not like I am against having non-Catholic friends, but I need at least one. My parents are not serious Catholics and I have been trying to teach myself with whatever bits and pieces I can get from the library without an exact plan in mind or a guide because my religion teachers are of no help. And I feel as if I have nobody to be completely honest with and it has been giving me a lot of mental anguish. It even keeps me from getting sleep at night sometimes. Catholicism extends to so many aspects of one’s worldview and, I am afraid of talking to anyone including my parents about my deepest thoughts lest someone sees the Catholic tinge in them. I mean, who wants to live their entire lives talking only about the weather with others?

I know people are going to suggest CAF, but I absolutely hate the Internet and I need someone to talk to face to face instead of text on a screen. This place has been a great comfort to me, but it is not the same.

Okay, so I know there are other people my age that experience the same thing, but it seems as if they are too few and too far apart which is torturous to each individual. If anybody here has met another Catholics in real life, where and how? And not just church, because most events at my Church are full of old people who I cannot connect with. Where else has anyone had the fortune of meeting someone else of the same Faith? And, what are some good indicators that somebody might be Catholic. Crucifixes or rosaries on rear view mirrors would not work for me because so many people in my area are culturally Catholic and these things are quite common.

Is there any sign that someone might be Catholic that only a serious Catholic might wear? if not, there ought to be a code of some sorts with a sign that only other Catholics would be able to recognize. Something hidden in plain sight, to help those who are scared to be open with it or to aid those inquiring into the Catholic Faith in secret.

Thanks and I hope I was articulate enough.
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I’m really sorry that you are having this problem because It’s nice to see a person your age that is really excited about our faith. It’s a sad commentary on the Church these days that there are so many kids at your school that aren’t. I’m really proud of you. If you pray the Rosary everyday and attend Mass EVERY Sunday and participate in parish activities, I think you will stay excited. The Newman Center Idea is a good one. I think another Idea is to try and lose your fear about finding someone to share your beliefs with. Instead of going around and trying to find something that might symbolize someones love of the faith, try and find someone that might be and make a friend of them. It might be that there are others like you and you might just connect. People become more open the more you get to know them and the other way around. Good luck and stay faithful to the Churches teachings. Praying for you, too.:signofcross:
 
redbetta said:
I am 17 and it feels as if I am the only one in my Catholic school that actually wants to learn about the Faith. And that got me wondering, how many on here actually know other orthodox, devout Catholics in real life, because I cannot find any. All that the youth group at my parish does is service and I am worried that if I actually try to talk to them about religious subject matter, I might be in for a nasty surprise. That is what I fear from talking to anyone in my parish.

It is not like I am against having non-Catholic friends, but I need at least one. My parents are not serious Catholics and I have been trying to teach myself with whatever bits and pieces I can get from the library without an exact plan in mind or a guide because my religion teachers are of no help. And I feel as if I have nobody to be completely honest with and it has been giving me a lot of mental anguish. It even keeps me from getting sleep at night sometimes. Catholicism extends to so many aspects of one’s worldview and, I am afraid of talking to anyone including my parents about my deepest thoughts lest someone sees the Catholic tinge in them. I mean, who wants to live their entire lives talking only about the weather with others?

I know people are going to suggest CAF, but I absolutely hate the Internet and I need someone to talk to face to face instead of text on a screen. This place has been a great comfort to me, but it is not the same.

Okay, so I know there are other people my age that experience the same thing, but it seems as if they are too few and too far apart which is torturous to each individual. If anybody here has met another Catholics in real life, where and how? And not just church, because most events at my Church are full of old people who I cannot connect with. Where else has anyone had the fortune of meeting someone else of the same Faith? And, what are some good indicators that somebody might be Catholic. Crucifixes or rosaries on rear view mirrors would not work for me because so many people in my area are culturally Catholic and these things are quite common.

Is there any sign that someone might be Catholic that only a serious Catholic might wear? if not, there ought to be a code of some sorts with a sign that only other Catholics would be able to recognize. Something hidden in plain sight, to help those who are scared to be open with it or to aid those inquiring into the Catholic Faith in secret.

Thanks and I hope I was articulate enough.
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Don’t be afraid of the “older” Catholics. I learned so much from older Catholics when I was younger. Now I’m an older Catholic and I love talking to young people. I have even had kids come to my home for informal “classes”, just to talk about the faith. My grandkids have brought their friends too. I even had a young couple getting married come to talk to me about it. In fact my great niece is coming over tomorrow to talk about her ‘situation’. Prayers and God Bless, Memaw
 
^^ I can second this. Age shouldn’t be an issue in the body of Christ. They can be your spiritual parents if your biological parents didn’t instill a love for the faith.

Also try out the Newman center and look for an FSSP parish to join.
 
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