Finding someone to love

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WMichael

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I’m 16 and I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone before, I’ve been asked out before by girls but I declined because they diddn’t have god in their lifes and they present themselves as people I wouldn’t like to engage with.

I’m looking for a catholic girl who her main priority is god, I don’t want a catholic by name.

I’m at college at the moment or high school in the us. I really haven’t found anyone that would suit me and for is a strong catholic.

I’ve been considering priesthood and talked to my parish priest.

Could I get some help guys.
 
Remember that the world in which you leave is a world of darkness.

In this world of darkness, there is a light coming down from the heavens and shining through many lamps. This light is Christ, and the lamps are His little ones, the baptized faithful.

The world promises many things, but they are illusions. For the promises of the world are hollow, like that of Satan promising “all kingdoms of the world” to Jesus, who was the Creator of all things and King of the Universe.

Marriage, like priesthood or religious life, is a vocation. Above all else, we are called to develop the virtue of chastity, which requires an apprenticeship in self-mastery, and will strengthen you against the serious weakness of the passions, forming your conscience and making you grow more mature and more wise, yet more humble and never proud - for by yourself you cannot achieve anything, it is through God that you will grow in perfection.

“Do not worry about tomorrow”, says the Lord. Do the duty that is closest to you. Focus on doing God’s will, on growing closer to the Holy Eucharist - which the saints have called in a supernatural way “the mystical spouse” - both in holy Communion and in Eucharistic Adoration. Do not think of God in terms of “man” - God is perfect, and loves you as a parent, as a brother, as a friend, as a wife.

Learn more about the teachings of the Church on chastity, and especially about the teachings of the Theology of the Body. Learn also - which is very needed in this world - about the different roles of man and woman in the family, because while one is not above or greater than the other, they are not equal; rather, each has a role and a specific authority.

Become more Christlike every day - do not be afraid of imitating Jesus. Think of what would you do if you were Him. Think of what would He do if He were standing right next to you. This may seem simple, but is a very powerful form of meditation that may lead to contemplative prayer.

At 16 you are very, very young, though you may as well have a strong and brave soul, a man’s soul. Trust in God, like our Mother teaches us, kneeling before His wisdom and providence and saying to Him in utter trust: "let it be done to me according to Your word". Do not focus on the past or on the future, but on the present, on the right now, and the Lord will reveal the path to you little by little.
"God is my heaven here on earth. If you would know him enough, you would love him. If you would stay with him for one hour, you would know heaven on earth.

To the extent that we know this God made man, we come to love him madly. I would like you to know him in order to truly fall in love with him…"

St. Teresa de Jesus de Los Andes
 
Hi there, I can kinda relate to your story,
I’m 16 too and have never been in a serious relationship with a girl and have often desired a girlfriend. I have been discerning the priesthood and marriage. I thought, (for myself anyway) that if I had a girlfriend, she would complete me. We all want to love and be loved. My advice, would be to fall in love with God. Don’t settle for something lower. Jesus loves you so much and wants you to love him with all your heart. You’re precious and so important to him. Maybe ask Our Lady, to send you a girl if it be in accordance with Our Lord’s will. My conviction is that, God made our hearts and we are not fulfilled until they belong to Him totally. If a good Catholic young girl comes along, don’t miss the opportunity. Be friends first and move from there. I’d advise you to stay close to Jesus and Mary and know God is the only one who will truly make you happy. God Bless you
P.S. maybe try getting involved in your parish with young people. 👍
 
I’m 23 now, I’ve been dating my now fiance for 2 years. She is my first girlfriend, my first love, and my first kiss. I was 21 when we started dating. I was looking for the right girl too. Sometimes, it just takes a little while. Don’t worry about it, you still have plenty of time to look for love. Focus on God and your studies right now.
 
Thanks guys, You’ve really have helped answer my question and now I feel that I should not worry and I can just concentrate on christ.
 
WMichael said:
I’m 16 and I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone before, …
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You are only 16 and looking for a relationship???!!! Take it from someone who has been there. I was a bachelor until 35 and dated many different girls, more than most of my buddies. Most girls at 16 and up to late 20s are not looking for “a relationship”. They just want to have fun in a social life. You are too young to expect any more for yourself; any attempt to force something more serious will create a lot of disappointment and heartache. I suggest you forget about “a relationship” and just go for the same thing the girls want by dating around. Your main concentration at this point in your life, and for the next five years or so, should be your studies.You have plenty of time to find someone for a “relationship” later.
 
sedonaman said:
You are only 16 and looking for a relationship???!!! Take it from someone who has been there. I was a bachelor until 35 and dated many different girls, more than most of my buddies. Most girls at 16 and up to late 20s are not looking for “a relationship”. They just want to have fun in a social life. You are too young to expect any more for yourself; any attempt to force something more serious will create a lot of disappointment and heartache. I suggest you forget about “a relationship” and just go for the same thing the girls want by dating around. Your main concentration at this point in your life, and for the next five years or so, should be your studies.You have plenty of time to find someone for a “relationship” later.
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I began my first relationship when I was sixteen. I’m now 23 (female) and single. We are all different.
 
Wmichael,
Brother. First I have to say you are truly blessed to have the faith you do at your age. I’m 22 but let me just say that you should get to know as many girls as you can, and find out who they really are, and then make your decisions from there. I’m single, but I’m on a similar path. The only way I will find my love is by
  1. Trusting in the Lord
  2. Doing what I have to do to try and find her.
    The only thing I might suggest is that you don’t let the search for your Mrs. pressure you to become frustrated, or unhappy. You are still young and the Lord knows your heart.
    Best of luck brother
 
I’m afraid I’m not from around your area, so I’m not aware of the state of society, but I’m sort of in the same situation. I’m not exactly “looking” for anyone at the moment, but I still think I would like to get married some day. Regretfully, there are very few girls in my area that are mature/spiritually-oriented enough that I would even consider going out with them. But I’m only 17 - I’ve got time to spend, assuming I’m not meant to die at an early age. If you can find someone who’s mature that suits you perfectly at this point in time, then great, but the vast majority of youth nowadays (at least as far as the U.S. goes) are irresponsible and don’t understand the concepts that must be understood and acknowledged between a husband and wife.

If you don’t plan on going into a religious order, your best bet is to keep waiting, and perhaps join some community activities that may attract others of your level of maturity. For instance, I go to a teen Christian Bible study every Monday. Granted its non-denominational, most of the people there have really good hearts, as well as some level of responsibility. I haven’t started any relationships through it myself, but I have met a lot of good people. Even if you don’t actually meet a “special” someone through an activity like that, at least you have good friends which may help your future spouse determine what kind of person you are. Your friends say a lot about you.

The biggest thing is whether or not you’re willing to wait for the right person to come around, in my opinion. I don’t expect to have a girlfriend any time soon, but I’m supposing I’ll find the right person at some point. Although I think the religious life would be awesome, I personally feel like I would be an overall better influence as a husband than as a priest or brother. Just try not to let the “social norms” discourage you if you do pursue the married state. All of my friends, but for one or two, have/had girlfriends, and some of them have had so many girlfriends that I can’t even count them. I really don’t care if girls flock to them - I’d rather discern one awesome one several years down the line than a bunch of ditzy ones within that same time.
 
Warandpeace said:
I began my first relationship when I was sixteen. I’m now 23 (female) and single. We are all different.
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Right. You are a woman, and women don’t have anywhere near the responsibility that men do. The OP is a boy, not even a man yet, and a man needs to have a job that pays enough to support a family; a woman doesn’t even have to know how to cook to get married.
 
WMichael said:
I’m 16 and I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone before, I’ve been asked out before by girls but I declined because they diddn’t have god in their lifes and they present themselves as people I wouldn’t like to engage with.

I’m looking for a catholic girl who her main priority is god, I don’t want a catholic by name.

I’m at college at the moment or high school in the us. I really haven’t found anyone that would suit me and for is a strong catholic.

I’ve been considering priesthood and talked to my parish priest.

Could I get some help guys.
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Yours is a problem faced buy those in the US as well. You have a natural, God-given attraction to young ladies but want someone who lives out her faith daily. Are their Church functions you can attend? Or a youth group,or charity or some other group for Catholics your age where people are actively living out their faith through works and have a real desire to serve God?

Pray to God for help in this area and trust Him. The same can be said about your considering the priesthood. I also recommend you talk to a priest and ask his advice and guidance as well.

It’s not easy being a 16 year old, much less a 16 year old Catholic who desires to please God but who lives in an increasingly secularized society, and who, based on credible sources, has too many Catholics who are publicly behaving in a manner contrary to Church teaching. But have hope. Above all, have hope.

Peace,
Ed
 
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