M
murkymick
Guest
Yesterday I went to a church for the first time other than for funerals (And I think a trip to look at the architecture of a cathedral when I was younger), and all the funerals I’ve been too weren’t at the Catholic Church.
On Saturday I asked my mother if she would attend Church with me. This was something that was very difficult to do. I have a few social anxieties which can be a pain to work through, and what’s more, I’ve lived a life, proclaimed things and argued against much of Christianity in the past. This is something that’s caused a growing uneasiness in me for some time. It came from a rather dark period of my early teen years (14-16, I guess) and shaped much of the rest of my teen years to some extent before reconciling myself with the fact that there most definitely IS a god, but never being quite sure WHO that god was.
Anyway, my mother believed that I was joking, and sort of said a few distasteful and mocking things. I understand her reaction, didn’t really like it though. She said something along the lines of “If i go to church God will strike me down! You too probably” So, anyway, I woke up the next morning nice and early and got ready to go to Church. My mother was awake and asked what I was doing, so I told her. She laughed and asked if I was serious, and then drove me to Church, with just a few jokes about it on the car ride there. She also said it would be boring, long and everyone would look at me funny. She was wrong on all three fronts there.
I get the feeling she likes the Catholic Church very little, perhaps being more favorable about the Anglican Church (Which, I think, is the church of my Grandparents).
Church itself was more or less what I had expected from reading up about Mass. A little more informal and easy going than I would of believed. The Priest seemed like a nice person, but I did not get a chance to speak to him. However, before going I thought it might of been a more profound and spiritual experience. When I read the bible I am filled with awe and majesty, it really does feel like God is breathing life into me. Yet, today at Church I was, whilst still paying attention, more reflecting on my recent changes in regards to faith. Which I think was something I needed to do anyway. But still, I did not get that feeling of closeness which I thought I would.
Perhaps this was some of my anxieties tainting the experience. It was very difficult for me to actually walk into the Church, but when I seated I became very calm. Usually my mind has a tendency to race about, which is something I kind of like, but in Church I was very much focused and able to straighten out some of my thoughts of the last week. I actually continued sitting in the church for a few minutes after everyone had left.
I enjoyed going to Church, even if I do feel slightly conflicted about it. On one hand, it seemed to be something lesser than I thought it would be, whilst still be fine and good. And on the other, it gave me time to contemplate my own beginnings of faith and was a calm and almost soothing experience.
Perhaps I’ve merely grown too accustomed to bells and whistles and trumpets blaring and the like. I don’t think I expected it to be some sort of great and holy experience. Maybe you get out of going to Church what you put in, or what you need at the time?
I realise that was rather long winded and didn’t really have a point. I just felt like I needed to share my experience. Writing things down often helps to understand things, especially writing with the intent to share it. But I do have a few questions perhaps someone could answer?
I went to the 8 o’clock mass. I live in a town of some 8000 people in Australia. I never thought there would be many people there, but there was only some 20 people. Perhaps, other than myself, there was a family of four and a woman sitting by herself that was under the age of 50. Is Catholicism really becoming so unpopular today, or is it more likely that the 10am mass would be the more popular time to go?
Also, how do I go about speaking to the priest? I’d like to ask him some questions and perhaps talk with him to find out how the local church goes about adult baptism. I can only guess being from such a small town, and one that seems fairly passive in regards to religion, that they don’t run an RCIA course. Unfortunately, I don’t have the money to travel to another town for classes. Do they offer RCIA online?
Hope this is in a suitable forum.
On Saturday I asked my mother if she would attend Church with me. This was something that was very difficult to do. I have a few social anxieties which can be a pain to work through, and what’s more, I’ve lived a life, proclaimed things and argued against much of Christianity in the past. This is something that’s caused a growing uneasiness in me for some time. It came from a rather dark period of my early teen years (14-16, I guess) and shaped much of the rest of my teen years to some extent before reconciling myself with the fact that there most definitely IS a god, but never being quite sure WHO that god was.
Anyway, my mother believed that I was joking, and sort of said a few distasteful and mocking things. I understand her reaction, didn’t really like it though. She said something along the lines of “If i go to church God will strike me down! You too probably” So, anyway, I woke up the next morning nice and early and got ready to go to Church. My mother was awake and asked what I was doing, so I told her. She laughed and asked if I was serious, and then drove me to Church, with just a few jokes about it on the car ride there. She also said it would be boring, long and everyone would look at me funny. She was wrong on all three fronts there.
I get the feeling she likes the Catholic Church very little, perhaps being more favorable about the Anglican Church (Which, I think, is the church of my Grandparents).
Church itself was more or less what I had expected from reading up about Mass. A little more informal and easy going than I would of believed. The Priest seemed like a nice person, but I did not get a chance to speak to him. However, before going I thought it might of been a more profound and spiritual experience. When I read the bible I am filled with awe and majesty, it really does feel like God is breathing life into me. Yet, today at Church I was, whilst still paying attention, more reflecting on my recent changes in regards to faith. Which I think was something I needed to do anyway. But still, I did not get that feeling of closeness which I thought I would.
Perhaps this was some of my anxieties tainting the experience. It was very difficult for me to actually walk into the Church, but when I seated I became very calm. Usually my mind has a tendency to race about, which is something I kind of like, but in Church I was very much focused and able to straighten out some of my thoughts of the last week. I actually continued sitting in the church for a few minutes after everyone had left.
I enjoyed going to Church, even if I do feel slightly conflicted about it. On one hand, it seemed to be something lesser than I thought it would be, whilst still be fine and good. And on the other, it gave me time to contemplate my own beginnings of faith and was a calm and almost soothing experience.
Perhaps I’ve merely grown too accustomed to bells and whistles and trumpets blaring and the like. I don’t think I expected it to be some sort of great and holy experience. Maybe you get out of going to Church what you put in, or what you need at the time?
I realise that was rather long winded and didn’t really have a point. I just felt like I needed to share my experience. Writing things down often helps to understand things, especially writing with the intent to share it. But I do have a few questions perhaps someone could answer?
I went to the 8 o’clock mass. I live in a town of some 8000 people in Australia. I never thought there would be many people there, but there was only some 20 people. Perhaps, other than myself, there was a family of four and a woman sitting by herself that was under the age of 50. Is Catholicism really becoming so unpopular today, or is it more likely that the 10am mass would be the more popular time to go?
Also, how do I go about speaking to the priest? I’d like to ask him some questions and perhaps talk with him to find out how the local church goes about adult baptism. I can only guess being from such a small town, and one that seems fairly passive in regards to religion, that they don’t run an RCIA course. Unfortunately, I don’t have the money to travel to another town for classes. Do they offer RCIA online?
Hope this is in a suitable forum.
