First Communion / does it have to be formal

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mom2akpk

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Hi there, this is my first post but have been wondering this for a few years. I have a 10 yr old and 7 yr old that do not attend CCD or classes due to work schedules of my husbands and myself. We regularly attend mass, in the nick of time…but am wondering when my children, IF my children can take first communion or does there have to be pomp and circumstance. We teach them the ways of catholicism at home, teach the bible, they understand and are both old enough to “get it” when it comes to the sacraments. But am wondering if I can just let them start going. Where does the church stand on this? I want to ask our priest but if his views differ from the actual views of the church, then I don’t want to have hard feelings on the matter. Any (name removed by moderator)ut would help. Thanks.
 
Making one’s First Communion is the highlight of any Catholic’s life. It is to be remembered for all of one’s life. I made my First Communion back in 1958 when I was in the second grade. It was a big deal back then and should be now.

No. The kids need to be prepared and the day of their First Communion needs to be celebrated as a milestone in their lives. Big chuckle…Bill O’Reilly on Fox News has a new book out. The cover picture is him at my same age in his First Communion outfit. I have the same photo as him at the same age.

It is a big deal. Really. A “take you out to eat” and celebrate kind of deal.

First time…body, blood, soul and divinity of our Lord Jesus Christ. Worthy of a celebration I believe!
 
brotherhrolf is right. Your kids deserve a day to remember. This is a milestone in their lives and should be done properly. I would advise you to enroll your children in CCD as soon as possible because they need formal Catechism lessons. Also, don’t forget that your children will also need to make their first confessions prior to their First Holy Communion.

Furthermore, this is a real opportunity for your children to make friends with other young Catholics; it will be an opportunity for them to really feel like part of a community.

I still have the photographs of me in my red sash and tie, and I can remember the girls in their wedding gowns. Your children should be given the same happy memories as the rest of us. It really is a big deal.
 
The Church’s teaching is that it is the pastor’s responsibility to decide when the child is ready to receive First Communion. It isn’t about the formal pomp and circumstances but about being ready. In the 80s it was common in many areas of the US to have First Communions at regular Sunday Mass, without special outfits or processions. The child was usually recognized by the pastor and received with his/her family.

In some parishes, the pastor may be willing to interview your children to see if they are ready and, if they are, let them receive privately. This is what our pastor has done for some home schooled children in our parish. Other pastors prefer that all children go through the parish religious ed program and/or delegate the assessment to the DRE. If CCE is at a time you cannot bring the kids, perhaps the parish has a home study option or can make arrangements for your children to take the classes at a near-by parish. There are also on-line programs that are accepted by some parishes.

Since the Church says it’s up to the pastor, your first step is to talk to him.
 
It isn’t about the formal pomp and circumstances but about being ready.
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I think the pomp and ceremony is very important because it helps the child to realise the significance of the event. It is something that deserves to be celebrated. Furthermore, the whole process of Catechism lessons will ensure that every child is ready to receive.
 
In addition to the celebration there needs to be preparation. It’s up to the pastor to make sure that the children have been properly prepared for the sacrament so that they know what they are receiving.

You might talk with the pastor or director of religious education to see how you might start to prepare your chldren for the sacraments even if they can’t attend classes at the parish.
 
No. It isn’t up to father. It was and is a “big deal” in the life of the child. Receiving Our Lord should be a watershed momment in the life of the child.

My brother (who is no longer Catholic) attended both sons First Communion. First Communion is as we anthropologists say …an act of passage. The child is transformed.

It is a geat act of formality.
 
We have, at time, had individual children receive with their families at the regular Sunday Mass, rather than a group First Communion Mass. However, it was always pointed out in the mass as a celebration. The child and the family received first, after the celebrant, of course, but before the rest of the Congregation. Also, the First Communicant received from the celebrant, not an EMHC.
 
in this parish home schooling is encouraged and if you see me I will give you resources to prepare your children at home. I question, however, if you don’t have time to drive them to CCD because of your schedules, if you will have time to sit down and work through regular religious education lessons with them. If you were coming to me for my advice, it would be to look at your schedules, as a family, make Mass and sacraments, regular prayer together at home, bible reading etc. a priority (esp. as you say it is even becoming hard to get to Mass on time). Work on your family priorities and you will find it benefits you in so many ways, and this concern may begin to resolve itself.

yes, the pastor must be assured the child is properly disposed for the sacrament (including sacramental confession before first communion) and he commonly delegates someone (me) to do that.

do be aware, however, that in many parishes and dioceses, where the concept of “parents are the primary educators of their children in the faith” is taken seriously, that this is indeed the case, and that the parents take on most of the preparation at home, and simply present the child to the pastor when they feel she is ready. No there is nothing in canon law that stipulates if there are not 100 other children in white dresses and suits receiving at the same time the sacrament is not valid.

In many more parishes, the parents attend the preparation meetings, receive the resources to teach their children at home, and simply call to say when the child will receive at a regular Sunday Mass, so that can be recorded. Sometimes confession slips through the cracks in this system, so the pastor needs to be on top of things.
 
puzzleannie said:
do be aware, however, that in many parishes and dioceses, where the concept of “parents are the primary educators of their children in the faith” is taken seriously, that this is indeed the case, and that the parents take on most of the preparation at home, and simply present the child to the pastor when they feel she is ready. No there is nothing in canon law that stipulates if there are not 100 other children in white dresses and suits receiving at the same time the sacrament is not valid.

In many more parishes, the parents attend the preparation meetings, receive the resources to teach their children at home, and simply call to say when the child will receive at a regular Sunday Mass, so that can be recorded. Sometimes confession slips through the cracks in this system, so the pastor needs to be on top of things.
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With DD there were regular catechism classes but the preparation for first communion was our responsibility. There were assignments to do, community gatherings with other families preparing a child for First Communion and then, finally, the interview with Fr. to determine that the child knew what was being received, to hear the first confession and to decide with the parents when the she would receive.

At the end of the interview Fr. offered to come celebrate Mass at our home and that’s when DD received for the first time. I wouldn’t do it that way again, but at the time it certainly marked a very important day in her life.
 
puzzleannie said:
I question, however, if you don’t have time to drive them to CCD because of your schedules, if you will have time to sit down and work through regular religious education lessons with them. If you were coming to me for my advice, it would be to look at your schedules, as a family, make Mass and sacraments, regular prayer together at home, bible reading etc. a priority (esp. as you say it is even becoming hard to get to Mass on time). Work on your family priorities and you will find it benefits you in so many ways, and this concern may begin to resolve itself.
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I hate that my comments have been viewed as an “I don’t have time for this”, but I work as a nurse every Friday Saturday and Sunday night. I get off at 8am, get home by 9:15 or so, and CCD classes begin at 9. My husband usually attends mass on Saturday evenings, sometimes with the kids, sometimes they prefer to go with me on Sunday, either way he is walking out the door on Sunday TO work as I pull in the driveway. This is the way it has to be, my priorities ARE my family, which is why I work every weekend, nightshift, so I can be with my family every day of the week for homework, school, fieldtrips, etc. We are a 2 income family, I will not be condemned for this. CCD is not an option right now. Not formally at the church. If anyone would like to direct me toward more home study courses feel free. I have 5 publications, we use them frequently, both of my children understand the mass, can recite and understand the Lord’s Prayer, and we say the Rosary together monthly among many other things. I agree it is a big deal, but dresses and parties, no. I do not think they will grow up and hate their parents because they don’t have that photo to share with others. I will contact our Priest about this directly, I was not looking for opinions, merely facts. I think the fact that I want them to received First Holy Communion shows I DO care. Thanks for the reply’s.
 
As others have said, it’s entirely up to the pastor. And, yes, the pomp and circumstance are absolutely secondary to the graces imparted by the Sacraments. It’s October and formal First Communion often takes place in May. If your pastor agrees that it’s overdue for your children, then why should they wait for May?

While the pomp can in some ways impress upon children the significance of the event, there’s the double-edged sword that it can also drown out the true spiritual nature of the event.

I received Holy Communion privately at a normal Mass without any fanfare, and I do not regret for one second the lack of pomp because I could actually focus on what was happening and what I was doing instead of being distracted by the externals. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
 
Making one’s First Communion is the highlight of any Catholic’s life.

**Making one’s First Communion is the highlight of a ROMAN Catholic’s life.

Eastern Catholics generally receive their first communion at or shortly after their baptisms.**
 
This thread is about traditional Roman Catholicism, hence we do not feel the need to use the prefix Roman every time we mention the word Catholic.
 
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